Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide cover image

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Latest episodes

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Dec 5, 2023 • 47min

ERP 401: How To Love & Support Someone Who Has Experienced Sexual Trauma — An Interview With Megan Negendank

The impact of sexual trauma on survivors often leaves a lasting imprint on both their emotional and physical well-being. Alongside grappling with feelings of fear, anger, and sadness, the trauma may be unconsciously stored in the body and unexpectedly reexperienced through somatic triggers during intimate moments. This can undermine a survivor's sense of safety, trust in others, and ability to freely experience closeness. In this episode, we delve into an often unexplored topic of relationships—navigating the intricate terrain of supporting a partner who has endured sexual trauma. The episode not only sheds light on the challenges faced but also presents practical steps, fostering a sense of hope and connection for both survivors and their partners. Join us as we explore the profound impact of trauma on intimacy and how intentional, informed efforts can contribute to healing and strengthen the bonds within these relationships. Megan Lara Negendank, LMFT, CST, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of Love Heal Grow, a relationship therapy center in Northern California where she specializes in trauma-informed, relationship-focused psychotherapy for survivors of trauma and their partners. She has been featured as a relationship expert on PBS, NPR, and in Sacramento Magazine. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 5:15 Megan Negendank’s mission to support survivors and partners through trauma-informed therapy. 9:49 Navigating the complexity of survivor experiences and partner support in the realm of sexual trauma. 17:02 Coping mechanisms, trust challenges, and partner support in sexual trauma recovery. 22:37 Communication, consent, and partner self-compassion in the aftermath of sexual trauma. 32:55 Building bridges to stability: Navigating trauma in relationships through co-regulation and secure functioning. Mentioned Loving Someone Who Has Sexual Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Supporting Your Partner and Improving Your Relationship (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series) (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Connect with Megan Negendank Websites: lovehealgrow.com Instagram: instagram.com/megan.lovehealgrow Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.    
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Nov 28, 2023 • 39min

ERP 400: How To Pivot Away From Creating Unhappiness - To The Path Of More Happiness With Others

The holiday season traditionally beckons gatherings with loved ones, friends, and family, often involving travel to reunite with those we haven't seen in a while. While these occasions can be overwhelmingly positive, the nuances of family and relationship dynamics often introduce challenges. In this episode, we delve into the common tendencies of complaining, comparing, and criticizing, which can disrupt the joyous spirit of gatherings. We delve into insightful strategies to pivot away from these unproductive habits, offering practical solutions for a more positive and enriching experience. By exploring the three P's—pride, pleasure, and purpose—listeners are guided on a journey toward fostering deeper connections during festive occasions, enhancing the quality of interactions with loved ones, and ultimately cultivating a path to greater happiness.  Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 5:29 The impact of holiday gatherings on our mental tendencies. 9:18 Negative thought patterns and their impact on relationships. 15:52 Applying Gottman’s 5:1 ratio to strengthen connections in every relationship. 23:34 The impact of negative behaviors on relationships. 32:09 Cultivating happiness through connection and purpose. Unpacking the Three C's First, let's clarify the three C's to avoid. 1. Comparing We often find ourselves anticipating comparisons, preparing to evaluate and rank ourselves, and engaging in a subtle one-up/one-down competition. Measures of Success: Career Achievements (promotions) Health and Fitness (body weight) Financial Status Attractiveness and Beauty (aging, wrinkles, clothing, hair) Knowledge (current events, politics) Social Engagements (events attended, people met) Fun (recreational activities, trips, etc.) All these aspects contribute to an individual's sense of meaning, purpose, and pride. However, when the intention is to impress or compete to feel superior, it can lead to putting oneself above others, inadvertently diminishing their value. Antidote: Practice expressing appreciation and gratitude for oneself, aiming for a list of 10 appreciations as a countermeasure. 2. Complaining Expressing challenges is a natural way to seek attention and understanding, often as an attempt to bond with others who can relate to hardships. However, dwelling on difficulties, akin to sharing war stories, provides limited satisfaction in connecting. Antidote: Counteracting complaints involves identifying at least 10 positive aspects overlooked in the situation, fostering a more optimistic perspective. 3. Criticizing Judging someone's behavior, especially in family or friendship dynamics, can stem from underlying longings, needs, or vulnerabilities, with limited potential for change compared to romantic relationships. Antidote: If change seems unlikely, self-support involves addressing personal needs and longings through alternative means or advocating for oneself, including setting boundaries. Additionally, acknowledging 10 positive qualities or attributes the person brings to your life can help shift the focus away from criticism. The Negative Effects of the 3 C’s Diminished Self-Esteem: Engaging in constant comparison and criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy, lower self-worth, and diminished self-esteem. Strained Relationships: Continuous criticism and complaining can put strain on relationships, eroding trust, creating tension, and reducing the overall sense of safety and satisfaction. Dissatisfaction in Interactions: The repetitive nature of the 3 C's can leave interactions feeling less meaningful and satisfying, contributing to a sense of dissatisfaction. Avoidance and Disconnection: Over time, the cumulative effect of the 3 C's may lead to avoidance of certain individuals or a decrease in engagement, negatively impacting the connection in relationships. Missed Opportunities for Growth: Focusing on the negative aspects may lead to missed opportunities for personal and relational growth, hindering the exploration of positive and enriching experiences. Draining Interactions: Engaging in the 3 C's can be emotionally draining, both for oneself and others, as the emphasis on negativity outweighs the potential for positive and uplifting interactions. Empowerment and Blame Cycle: The cycle of blame, competition, and one-upmanship perpetuated by the 3 C's can create a disempowered mindset, hindering the celebration of others and fostering deeper connections. Lack of Meaning and Significance: Constant comparison and criticism may lead to a focus on surface-level attributes, overshadowing the potential for deeper connections and the meaningful aspects of relationships. The 3 P’s of Happiness Now that we've explored the challenges posed by the three C's, let's shift our focus to the transformative power of the three P's. The concept of the three P's — Pride, Purpose, and Pleasure — draws inspiration from Blue Zone research, examining communities globally recognized for longevity and well-being. Here are actionable strategies aligned with the three P's to foster a balanced and fulfilling life: 1. Pride: Build Community Bonds: Connect with your community, nurturing positive relationships for a heightened sense of belonging and pride. Embrace Traditions: Celebrate cultural or community traditions to strengthen your connection to heritage and foster pride. Achieve Personal Goals: Pursue goals aligned with your values, cultivating a sense of pride and satisfaction. Share Your Successes: Acknowledge and share your accomplishments, reinforcing a positive sense of pride. 2. Purpose: Discover Your Ikigai: Explore your 'ikigai,' finding purpose at the intersection of passion, skill, societal need, and earning potential. Volunteer and Give Back: Contribute to causes aligned with your values, experiencing purpose through meaningful engagement. Set Long-Term Goals: Establish enduring goals reflecting your passions and values for a sense of purpose. Reflect on Core Values: Regularly align actions with core values, providing direction and purpose in life. 3. Pleasure: Prioritize Social Bonds: Cultivate meaningful relationships with friends and family, crucial for overall happiness. Opt for Balanced Nutrition: Enjoy a varied, nutritious diet in moderation for physical and mental well-being. Incorporate Physical Activity: Integrate joyful exercises like walking or dancing into daily routines. Practice Mindfulness: Dedicate time to mindfulness practices, enhancing the enjoyment of the present moment. Embrace Nature: Spend time outdoors, connecting with nature for increased pleasure and well-being. Cultivate Hobbies: Engage in passion-driven activities, such as art or gardening, for a more pleasurable life. By integrating these strategies, you can elevate your overall well-being, embracing the principles of Pride, Purpose, and Pleasure observed in Blue Zone communities.  Mentioned The Magic Ratio: The Key to Relationship Satisfaction Blue Zones of Happiness, The: Lessons From the World's Happiest People (The Blue Zones) (*Amazon affiliate link) (book) 25 Days To Strengthening Your Love Through Kindness (free guide link) ERP 125: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love (podcast episode) ERP 128: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love – Part Two (podcast episode) ERP 129: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love – Part Three (podcast episode) ERP 130: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love – Part Four (podcast episode) ERP 130: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love – Part Five (podcast episode) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Nov 21, 2023 • 1h 2min

ERP 399: What’s Going On When We Rely On Others For Our Happiness — An Interview With Deb Blum

Entrusting our happiness to others implies depending on external validation or circumstances to feel content, fulfilled, or complete. Instead of finding intrinsic sources of joy and fulfillment within ourselves, we place the responsibility for our happiness on external influences. This reliance on external factors, especially in relationships, may result in emotional vulnerability and fragile self-esteem. In this episode, we explore the complexities of self-discovery and healing within relationships, delving into the significance of inner child work and its impact on our emotional well-being. We discuss the challenges of embracing vulnerability, acknowledging our shadows, and breaking free from the patterns that hinder personal growth. The conversation highlights the role of self-love and acceptance in fostering healthier connections with ourselves and others, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and genuine expression in our journey toward fulfillment. Deb Blum is a visionary leader and the founder of The Whole Soul Way, a transformational program dedicated to empowering women on their journey toward self-discovery and authentic expression. Through her step-by-step process, Deb helps self-led, do-it-all women break free from fear, conditioning, and external expectations, enabling them to express themselves fully, therefore creating more success, emotionally fulfilling relationships, happiness, and inner peace without losing their edge or disrupting the lives they've worked so hard to create. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 5:59 Introducing Deb Blum and her transformative program dedicated to empowering women through self-discovery. 11:17 Unveiling unconscious behaviors: Exploring tendencies to criticize, blame, or project onto others. 19:02 Deb Blum recounts how the pressure of motherhood and a desire for control brought projecting tendencies to light, leading to insights about her expectations and relationship dynamics. 28:41 Navigating identity attachments: Embracing the complexity of the human condition. 33:20 Unveiling the energy dynamics of repression and embracing the multifaceted human experience. 46:03 Nurturing wholeness through reparenting: The transformative journey. 51:48 The significance of overcoming defensiveness and creating space for genuine dialogue. 57:07 Support and resources. Mentioned The Whole Soul Way (*program sales page) Out of the Shadows: A Shadow Work Starter Kit (*free resources) Do-It-All Inner Power Animal Quiz (*quiz) ERP 174: How to Experience More Love in Your Relationship With Byron Katie Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Deb Blum Websites: thewholesoulway.com Facebook: facebook.com/DebBlumOfficial YouTube: youtube.com/debblumnow Instagram: instagram.com/debblum TikTok: tiktok.com/@deb.blum LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/debblum Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.  
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Nov 14, 2023 • 52min

ERP 398: How To Experience Both Freedom & Connection In Relationship — An Interview With Dr. Don St John

In a society that highly values individual achievements and personal pursuits, the dynamics of maintaining emotional closeness within relationships undergo a subtle but significant transformation. Emphasizing autonomy, self-expression, and personal goal pursuit, societal norms shape how individuals navigate connections. In this episode, we explore the nuanced dynamics of emotional intimacy within the context of contemporary societal norms that often prioritize individual pursuits. The discussion delves into the delicate interplay between autonomy and togetherness, shedding light on the challenges individuals face in maintaining meaningful connections while pursuing personal goals. The impact of trauma on relationships is unpacked, highlighting the complexities of healing in the realm of emotional closeness.  Join us as we navigate the fine line between independence and the inherent desire for emotional proximity, unraveling the secrets to fostering meaningful connections in a culture that champions individuality. Dr. St John is a psychotherapist, somatic fluid movement and meditation educator, and author of “Healing the Wounds of Childhood and Culture: An Adventure of a Lifetime”. He overcame severe childhood trauma and has engaged in the healing process both personally and professionally for 60 years. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 5:09 From brokenness to healing: Dr. Don St John’s personal and professional journey. 11:30 The coherence model: Balancing freedom and cohesion in intimate relationships. 14:56 The importance of embracing both closeness and independence in a relationship. 27:09 Navigating change, personal growth, and cultural shifts. 32:47 Shifting from individual identity to cooperative connection. 50:06 Additional resources and information. Mentioned Healing the Wounds of Childhood and Culture: An Adventure of a Lifetime (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: 30th Anniversary Edition (The Covey Habits Series) (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love ERP 348: Access Intraconnection for Well-Being — An Interview with Dr. Daniel Siegel Connect with Dr. Don St John Websites: pathsofconnection.com Facebook: facebook.com/don.s.john.90 Instagram: instagram.com/drdonstjohn LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/don-st-john-36636a55 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.  
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Nov 7, 2023 • 53min

ERP 397: How Partners May Grieve Differently — An Interview with Kelly Cervantes

Grief is a deeply personal and often challenging emotional journey, one that can take on countless forms and manifest in diverse ways. When couples endure such heart-wrenching moments, they often discover that they grieve differently, which can strain their relationships. This can create a profound and sometimes bewildering disconnect in the relationship, leading to feelings of isolation, frustration, and confusion. In this enlightening conversation, we delve into the complexities of grieving differently as a couple and explore valuable insights to help couples maintain and enhance their connections during these trying times. By recognizing the individuality of each person's grief, fostering open and honest communication, and seeking external support when necessary, couples can discover meaningful ways to journey through their mourning together, strengthening their emotional bonds in the process. Kelly Cervantes is an award-winning writer, speaker, and advocate best known for her blog Inchstones. She is the immediate past board chair for the nonprofit CURE Epilepsy and also hosts their biweekly podcast, Seizing Life. Kelly currently resides in Maplewood, NJ, with her husband, Miguel Cervantes currently starring in Hamilton on Broadway, their children, and two dogs, Tabasco and Sriracha. Her book Normal Broken: The Grief Companion For When It’s Time to Heal But You’re Not Sure You Want To. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 5:28 Kelly Cervantes’ grief journey and its impact on relationships. 17:17 The importance of open communication and managing expectations. 21:12 The evolving nature of grief in relationships: Communication, acceptance, and moments of connection. 27:59 Navigating connection and intimacy amidst grief: The impact of a pandemic and prior experiences. 39:29 The significance of seeking and accepting support during the grieving process. 45:28 Creating shared meaning in grief: Finding moments of connection and support. Mentioned Normal Broken: The Grief Companion for When It's Time to Heal but You're Not Sure You Want To (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Grief Refuge (download link) (app) Center for Loss & Life Transition Connect with Kelly Cervantes Websites: kellycervantes.com Facebook: facebook.com/kellygc411 Twitter: twitter.com/KellyGC411 Instagram: instagram.com/kellygc411 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kelly-cervantes-6b3a7ba Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/seizing-life/id1450310889 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Oct 31, 2023 • 43min

ERP 396: How To Recognize Unhelpful & Misguided Relationship Advice — An Interview With Zach Brittle

Are you tired of sifting through an endless sea of relationship advice, much of which seems more unhelpful than beneficial? We're often bombarded with well-intentioned but sometimes misguided advice. You've likely heard phrases like "never go to bed angry" or "love will conquer all," but do these sayings truly hold the key to a thriving, enduring partnership? In this episode, we'll explore the common cliches and one-size-fits-all solutions that sound good in theory but often fall short in practice. Discover the art of de-escalating conflicts, the power of emotional vocabulary, and how to recognize unhelpful advice that may be holding you back from deeper intimacy. If you're seeking to transform your understanding of relationships, this episode will empower you to question the common myths and embrace a more profound, lasting connection. Zach Brittle is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT), and a Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT). He serves as the founder and co-host of Marriage Therapy Radio and has authored the best-selling relationship guide "The Relationship Alphabet" and the Marriage Therapy Journal. His marriage to Rebecca has been a source of happiness for 24 out of 26 years, with the 8th and 18th years proving to be rather challenging. They live in Seattle with their two adulting daughters. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 4:55 A peek into Zach’s journey: His work, podcast, and personal life. 9:21 Zack’s unique approach to therapy. 14:23 Debunking the myth: “Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint” 19:20 The influence of language on behavior and choices within relationships. 26:33 Deconstructing defensiveness and criticism: An approach to authentic communication. 29:45 Challenging unhelpful relationship advice. 33:43 The importance of de-escalation and repair in conflict. 40:47 Connect with Zach Brittle and marriage therapy radio. Mentioned Marriage Therapy Radio (*Apple Podcast link) Marriage Therapy Journal (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Relationship Alphabet: A Practical Guide to Better Connection for Couples (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) ERP 344: How Our Language Can Steer & Shape Our Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Georgi Gardiner ERP 058: Beyond the Wedding. What Is Marriage Really Like? Connect with Zach Brittle Websites: zachbrittle.com Facebook: facebook.com/marriagetherapyradio TikTok: tiktok.com/@marriagetherapyradio Instagram: instagram.com/marriagetherapyradio/?hl=en Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Oct 24, 2023 • 51min

ERP 395: How To Navigate Relationship When One Partner Is Choosing Sobriety — An Interview With Celeste Yvonne

In recent years, the rise of the celebrated "mommy wine" culture has given rise to a pressing issue that provides a deceptively innocent escape for mothers. Yet beneath the surface, many mothers find themselves entangled in a web of excessive alcohol consumption that negatively affects their lives and relationships. In this episode, Celeste Yvonne and Dr. Jessica Higgins delve into the challenging dynamics faced by couples when one partner decides to embrace sobriety while the other continues to drink. We explore the isolation and emotional strain often experienced by those navigating this complex terrain. The discussion offers actionable steps and resources to help couples communicate effectively, set boundaries, and ultimately find a path to understanding and connection amid the complexities of one partner's journey toward sobriety. Sober mom advocate, Celeste Yvonne, is a writer and certified recovery coach (IAPRC) with over 20 years of experience as a communications professional in corporate America. Over five years sober and a founding host of the Sober Mom Squad, Celeste advocates for mothers who struggle with addiction and mental health. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 3:20 Celeste Yvonne’s journey from corporate professional to sobriety advocate. 8:08 Understanding the emotional impact of substance use in motherhood. 15:48 Honest conversations and support in navigating alcoholism and recovery. 20:54 The power of community in sobriety: Overcoming loneliness and isolation. 25:23 Strategies for addressing problematic drinking within relationships. 32:16 Creating empathetic conversations and finding support in challenging relationships. 48:27 Support for moms: Breaking free from the mommy wine culture. Mentioned It's Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Connect with Celeste Yvonne Websites: celesteyvonne.substack.com | sobermomsquad.com Facebook: facebook.com/sobermomsquad Instagram: instagram.com/theultimatemomchallenge | instagram.com/sobermomsquad Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.    
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Oct 17, 2023 • 46min

ERP 394: How To Express Your Emotional Needs In Relationship - An Interview With Dr. Laura Louis

Are you finding it difficult to communicate your emotional needs in your relationship, leaving you and your partner feeling like you're speaking different emotional languages? Sad to say, you are not alone in this struggle. Many individuals face the challenge of effectively expressing their emotional desires to their loved ones. In this enlightening conversation, we delve into this very issue and explore actionable steps to improve your communication and connection. From recognizing emotional triggers to embracing self-soothing techniques, you'll discover how to build an environment of safety and openness in your relationship. Join us as we unravel the secrets to clearer communication and a deeper emotional connection. Dr. Laura Louis, author of "Marital Peace," is a Licensed Psychologist with a Ph.D. from Howard University's APA-accredited Counseling Psychology Program. With over 10 years of experience in the field, she specializes in multicultural and couples counseling. Her expertise includes increasing intimacy, rebuilding trust post-infidelity, and enhancing communication skills. Dr. Louis also addresses various clinical issues, offers career counseling, and aids in acculturation for immigrants. Her background spans diverse settings, from psychiatric hospitals to elementary schools, where she focuses on improving sleep and stress management for individuals and organizations. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode  4:17 Introducing Dr. Laura Louis: A multifaceted expert in relationship counseling. 7:05 The foundation of expressing emotional needs. 15:02 Various factors that can unconsciously interfere with our ability to Express emotional needs. 22:13 A step-by-step approach to expressing emotional needs. 29:35 Navigating emotional risks in communication. 39:08 Practical aspects of recognizing emotional triggers and self-soothing techniques. Mentioned Marital Peace (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Dr. Laura Louis Websites: atlantacoupletherapy.com Facebook: facebook.com/AtlantaCoupleTherapy | facebook.com/groups/BlackMarriageMattersOfficial (*group) YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCh2I0xywV8TuKM9xs4yqh2g Instagram: instagram.com/dr.lauralouis Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.  
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Oct 10, 2023 • 54min

ERP 393: How To Get Through The Power Struggle In Relationship — An Interview With Shan Merchant

Power struggle is a phase in a relationship where couples face heightened awareness of their differences, needs, and unmet expectations. It represents a shift from the initial romantic honeymoon stage to a stage where partners become more aware of each other's flaws and unresolved issues. This stage is marked by emotional turbulence and communication breakdowns as couples navigate the complexities of their evolving connection. However, it's also seen as an opportunity for growth and transformation if approached with conscious effort and relationship skills. In this episode, we explore dynamic strategies and practical tools to help couples overcome challenges in their relationship and foster a more peaceful, loving connection. Discover how to determine which stage your relationship is in, prioritize emotional safety, communicate with empathy, and deepen your mutual understanding. Join us as we discuss practical steps to strengthen your relationship and establish a robust foundation for lasting love and harmony. Shan is an Imago Couples Therapist and Relationship Expert. She helps professional couples on the brink of divorce finally find peace in their relationship and put their wedding rings back on. She's authored the book "From Power Struggle to Peaceful Couple". Shan's on a mission to stop couples settling for unhappy relationships that drain their energy because she believes great relationships are the foundation for a great life. Shan works globally from England.  Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 3:52 Shan’s journey: From romantic dreams to relationship expertise. 14:08 Understanding and navigating the power struggle in relationships. 22:08 Embracing conflict as nature’s savage gifts in the power struggle. 26:36 Emotional safety and communication in a relationship. 34:47 The imago dialogue: A structured path to safe and effective communication in relationships. 38:02 Using dialogue to improve communication in relationships. 45:13 Improving communication in relationships through empathy and respect. Mentioned Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Imago Relationship Therapy Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love ERP 138: The Most Critical Ingredient for Relationship Success With Dr. Harville Hendrix & Dr. Helen Lakelly Hunt ERP 303: How to Create Safe Conversations — An Interview with Drs. Harville Hendrix & Helen Lakelly Hunt Connect with Shan Merchant Websites: shanmerchant.com Facebook: facebook.com/shannon.merchant.3 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shan-merchant-couples-therapist-dating-relationships Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Oct 3, 2023 • 51min

ERP 392: How To Reduce Reactive Patterns In Relationship — An Interview With Adele Spraggon

Award-winning author and thought leader, Adele Spraggon, discusses techniques for reducing reactive patterns in relationships. She shares success stories of healing couples on the brink of divorce and emphasizes the importance of hardware rewiring. Learn how to build trust, suspend automatic reactivity, and decrease patterns for healthier and more empowered connections.

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