Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Stephen Porges, and we’ll be talking about how to create safety with reciprocal cues within a relationship from a polyvagal perspective. Polyvagal theory helps us understand how our nervous systems operate and how we can support our ability to be more present and open with another. Stephen encourages us to consider how we typically view various aspects of relationship: the ways we experience attraction and bonding and our sense of love and long-term relationship. Through these understandings, we can improve our relationship by developing more connection, security and safety within our bonds. Listen in to learn how our mammalian vagal pathway is linked to our facial expressions, how past trauma can affect your physical state from a polyvagal perspective, and why we need to respect and honor our feelings and bodies. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Stephen W. Porges, Ph.D. is Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University where he is the founding director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium in the Kinsey Institute. He is the originator of the Polyvagal Theory, that emphasizes the importance of physiological state in the expression of behavioral, mental, and health problems related to traumatic experiences. He is the creator of a music-based intervention, the Safe and Sound Protocol™ , currently used by more than 1500 therapists to improve spontaneous social engagement, to reduce hearing sensitivities, and to improve language processing. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Porges and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  How the polyvagal theory relates to the couple experience How our physiological state impacts our relationships with other people What coregulation is and how it influences our interactions Why the physiological state we are in can bias our decision-making The important difference between being welcomed versus experiencing a reaction from another What is happening for people when they shut down and disassociate  How gut problems can occur when our nervous system is shut down or in the dorsal response Why trauma-based behavior often results in a state of becoming disembodied The importance of social systems and how they may or may not support our nervous system and functioning The initial stages of romance from a polyvagal perspective The relationship between vulnerability and sitting still with people who have experienced trauma How we can misunderstand the physiological state of someone’s facial expression and voice How our interactions and relationships affect our health Two major components of creating a stable, healthy relationship   Mentioned The Polyvagal Institute (website) Stephen Porges (website) Pick up Stephen's Book Integrated Listening   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast:https://www.marisatcohen.com/book.html  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Sherry Gaba, who has a clinical background with addiction and codependency, and we discuss where people get stuck with codependency. We talk about how problematic codependency can be and the loss of self that accompanies an unequal relationship. She talks about codependency often involves an inability to control or abstain from compulsive behavior, why codependency affects females and males equally, and how the combination of narcissists and a codependent person can be particularly problematic. Listen in to learn how trauma plays a role in codependency, why the healing starts with awareness, and how one can start connecting with themself. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach who helps people cope with codependency, addictions, trauma, and mental health issues. As a leading expert on addiction and recovery, Sherry’s TV appearances include: Vh1’s Celebrity Rehab, CNN, Inside Edition, the Robert Irvine Show, among others. Sherry is the author of the Amazon best seller Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting Love and Infinite Recovery which addresses addiction and alcoholism thru the lens of the law of attraction. In this episode, Sherry Gaba and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  What codependency is and what it looks like The addiction aspect of codependency inside relationships The obsessive and compulsive tendencies with codependency How being a people pleaser can lead to codependency A lack of boundaries and saying yes to every request is a sign of codependency How repetition compulsion plays into codependency The dynamic between narcissism and codependency Types of history that can feed into codependency The role shame has to play in relationships Importance of asking yourself ‘who am I?’ How resentment shows up in codependency Why you should say no and understand your personal and physical boundaries   Mentioned Visit Sherry Gaba on the web Wake Up Recovery Codependency Quiz Become a Member of Wake Up Recovery Sherry Gaba, LCSW and Author of Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to find Everlasting Love * and Wake Up Recovery for Codependents    Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast:https://www.marisatcohen.com/book.html  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you! 

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Melissa Orlov, one of the foremost authorities on how ADHD impacts adult relationships. She gives insight on what problematic dynamics to look for in your relationship when one partner is affected by ADHD, how ADHD affects household responsibilities and the relationship connection. She talks about why the non-ADHD partner takes on more responsibilities in a relationship, how the non-ADHD partner ends up assuming a parenting role in an adult relationship, and her structure for helping people manage their ADHD symptoms.  Listen in to learn how to create a more supportive environment for both partners, the importance of accepting and working with ADHD symptoms, and approaching a conversation without anger and blame. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Melissa Orlov is the founder of ADHDmarriage.com, and author of two award-winning books on the impact of ADHD in relationships - The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010) and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD (2014). She is considered one of the foremost authorities on the topic of how ADHD impacts adult relationships.    A marriage consultant, Melissa helps ADHD-affected couples from around the world re-balance their relationships and learn to thrive through her seminars, consulting and books.  She also teaches marriage counselors and other professionals about effective marriage therapy for couples impacted by ADHD.    In this episode, Melissa Orlov and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  The different relationships dynamics that couples experience when one partner has ADHD How ADHD symptoms can easily be misinterpreted Chronic resentment be fallout with the non-ADHD partner when dynamics are strained Why ADHD symptomatic behaviors get in the way of being an adult partner The grief, hurt, and anger that results from broken promises of ADHD partner Suggestions on how to manage adult ADHD Why both partners need to participate in managing ADHD How shame can be translated into anger for the ADHD adult Examples of actions both partners can do to co-regulate their relationship   Mentioned Visit Melissa Orlov on the web Join Melissa’s Couples Seminar Listen in to Episode 51: How to Thrive with ADHD in Your Relationship The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps* (book) by Melissa Orlov The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD* (book) by Melissa Orlov Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast:https://www.marisatcohen.com/book.html  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you! 

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Dan Solin who helps us understand our conversations and interactions with others, as well as how to cultivate more happiness and positivity in our relationships. He talks about gaining awareness around what can get activated during a discussion or activity within a relationship, growing your capacity for love, happiness, and fulfillment, and how to encourage your partner to move towards you and to become responsive. Listen in to learn how to take advantage of shifting attack and criticism to more connections and why the more you empower the other person to talk about themselves, the healthier your relationship will be. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Dan Solin is the author of the new book, Ask: How to Relate to Anyone.  He is a New York Times bestselling author of the Smartest series of investing books and The Smartest Sales Book You’ll Ever Read.   Dan’s books have been widely praised by The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Library Journal, Vanguard co-founder John Bogle and many financial columnists, authors and others.    In this episode, Dan Solin and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  Research-based principles for navigating relationships How our partners understand and translate our words in their mind with their filter How we can reverse-engineer positive relationships Why we need a basic understanding of neuropsychology and science The significance of empowering people to talk about themselves How reverse-engineering a relationship affect hormones in the body Improving poor communication in relationships Why you shouldn’t engage in negative behaviors when fighting The importance of sacrificing the spotlight to develop a relationship How to comment and pivot to enhance conversation in your relationship Why switching from telling to asking questions in a conversation is incredibly powerful in a conversation   Mentioned Visit Dan Solin on the web Ask: How To Relate To Anyone by Dan Solin*   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast:https://www.marisatcohen.com/book.html  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!  

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Diana Richardson, who talks about the practice of conscience lovemaking. She speaks from the perspective of a heterosexual connection and notes that couples of any gender orientation can adapt these same practices and principles in their love life. She talks about why you shouldn’t focus solely on the peak moments while lovemaking, the psychological and physical tension while having sex, and performance pressure. Rather, Diana explains the concept of feeling your body from the inside and connecting with your significant other with attention to the awareness of the subtleties. Listen in to learn how Diana teaches couples to anchor themselves inside their own bodies, why we have lost the capacity to sense our bodies, and why the details of our feelings get lost in the search for bigger, more intense physical and emotional feelings. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Diana Richardson, born in South Africa, is one of today’s leading authorities on human sexuality. Author of 8 books, including best selling “Tantric Sex for Men”, “The Heart of Tantric Sex” and “Tantric Orgasm for Women”. Her interest in the body prompted a personal exploration into the union of sex and meditation - the essence of Tantra. Since 1993, she and her partner host weeklong retreats for couples in tantric lovemaking in Europe. In this episode, Diana Richardson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  Why conscience lovemaking supports all couples who make love Differences between conventional lovemaking and conscious lovemaking How to be more present during lovemaking rather than being overly caught up in mental activity, especially about reaching a goal or certain perfomance How using intensity to build up the energy can actually compress sexual intimacy Why women need more warming up before sex The process of anchoring inside your own body Why it's important to re-evaluate and connect with your body How you can extend your love bond for days by not peaking during sex How to have more incredible experiences when you are connected with yourself and your significant other Mentioned Living Love Inner Traditions Love for Couples Tantric Love (book) by Diana Richardson Slow Sex (book) by Diana Richardson Cool Sex: An Essential Young Adult Guide to Loving, Mindful Sex (book) by Diana Richardson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast:https://www.marisatcohen.com/book.html  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you! 

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Tracy Poizner, who talks about the different dynamics between a traditional family and a blended family. Many parents who are divorced and remarried have an expectation that the blended family will work seamlessly.  She talks about the common difficulties that couples experience when blending families and becoming a stepparent. She mentioned that when the parent and stepparent have a new child that it can feel like a betrayal. Most times, kids don’t have enough security in their relationship with their stepparent that they are OK with a new child coming into the mix. Listen in to learn why the parent and child relationship has to come before the marriage in a blended family, why you need to make different choices for a blended family, and why you need to consider previous household boundaries when creating rules for the new blended family. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Tracy Poizner is a parenting coach and the host of the Essential Stepmom Podcast. She is a biological mom and a stepmom and has been through it all, from long-distance parenting to parental alienation, legal difficulties, mental health issues, loss of contact and full-time custody. Tracy has a special perspective on emotional healing and how to meet our personal needs as stepmoms in the everyday chaos of this challenging lifestyle.  In this episode, Tracy Poizner and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  The biggest mistake of expecting a blended family to function like a traditional family Why it takes up to seven years for blended families to feel really at home together How dads often misunderstand their spouses role and how they are going to help parent How guilt of divorce can affect how you parent your children Parenting authentically and effectively in spite of your feelings Why children in a blended family can destroy a second marriage The challenges of making different choices in blended families Simple gestures blended families can make to create better bonding between the new family members The importance of respecting previous boundaries in the former household Why kids needs are first in line before spousal need with biological children How stepmoms can feel in competition with the kids for attention   Mentioned Essentials Stepmom Join Essential Stepmoms on Facebook Follow Essential Stepmoms on Instagram Tweet with Essential Stepmoms on Twitter Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast:https://www.marisatcohen.com/book.html  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!  

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, relationship coach, and researcher. We talk about how the influence of social media on couples can be damaging to their relationship. Marisa points out how different aspects of using social media can make couples feel disengaged with each other. She talks about how social media usage can increase jealousy in relationships and how individuals turn toward social media to create fulfillment where they feel an emotional void. Marisa talks about the social comparisons that affect relationships and the “unreality” of social media feeds. Listen in to learn why understanding what you value in a relationship is essential to invest in what’s most meaningful in life and how you can start a conversation about social media with your partner. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Dr. Marisa T. Cohen is a relationship coach, relationship researcher, and teaches college-level psychology courses. She is the author of From First Kiss to Forever: A Scientific Approach to Love, a book that relates relationship science research to everyday experiences and real relationship issues confronted by couples. She is also the author of Finding Love: The Scientific Take, a Psychology Today blog and Love Lessons, a Long Island Weekly newspaper column. In this episode, Dr. Marisa T. Cohen and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  How comparison to other couples on the internet can lead toward shame or inadequacy The influence of social media on couple satisfaction When social media becomes a pain point in a relationship Higher levels of Facebook use are associated with negative relationship outcomes Why you shouldn’t apply your reality to a social media feed reality Understanding what you value in your relationship is important for relationship success Why working through arguments and disagreements helps build new understandings and can lead to a stronger relationship and more intimacy Recommendations on how you can have a conversation about social media with your partner Conversation pointers to use when having a constructive conversation Non-verbal communication mismatches that can lead to relationship conflict Why you need to take your ex-partner off your social media feed   Mentioned Finding Love: The Scientific Take Love Lessons, a Long Island Weekly Newspaper Column Visit Dr. Cohen on the web   Dr. Marisa T. Cohen books: From First Kiss to Forever: A Scientific Approach to Love, a book that relates relationship science research to everyday experiences and real relationship issues confronted by couples Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast:https://www.marisatcohen.com/book.html  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you! 

In today’s episode, I discuss the importance of prioritizing safety in relationship. If we do not feel safe, we will have a very difficult time being open and available for connection and intimacy.  Dr. Stephen Porges, pioneering researcher and developer of Polyvagal Theory, reminds us that passion without safety leads to conflict and sometime violence, and it is very difficult to sustain long-lasting intimacy if you do not with safe with your significant other.  Our nervous systems are always evaluating for danger and threats. If we are mobilizing (trying to deal with a threat) through fight or flight, we are not available for intimacy and closeness. Or if we are immobilized (shut down) to a threat, we will not be receptive or have the capacity for bonding and connection.  Therefore, we need to feel safe in relationship, so that our nervous systems can function in the social engagement system, which allows us to be responsive to intimacy and connection. Physiologically, we are always co-regulating with the people around us...picking up on cues of safety and/or threats. In relationship, we have the opportunity to reciprocally engage with one another to help regulate, balance and comfort one another. In relationship, it is common to get off track, but it is essential to know how to get back on track. Listen to the episode to learn more. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses:  How romance and long-lasting intimacy require safety.  Passion without safety often results in conflict and sometimes violence.  The importance of safety can be confusing when we have known trauma, chaos, loss and pain within relationship and/or early childhood experiences.  More effort and time will not resolve problematic dynamics.  We need to create safety first, so that our nervous systems can be available for connection and closeness. The three neural circuits in our nervous system. What co-regulation is and how we benefit from it. Ideally, we want to have reciprocal, safe, engaged interactions with the people closest to us. In relationship, we have the opportunity to help regulate and balance each other, which leads to more stability overall.  Recognizing the cues we send and receive in relationship that signal safety, connection.  Through our vocal prosody, facial expressions (eyes, forehead, mouth), breathing and touch, we can convey affection, comfort, reassurance and safety. When planning a date, it can be helpful to incorporate restorative activities that help provide more safety, which in turn supports the nervous system to enter into the social engagement system, so that we can be more open and available for connection and intimacy. Mentioned Dr, Stephen Porges (website) The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe (book)* Restorative Practices of Wellbeing: A Compendium of Restorative Practices  (book)* Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide ERP 036: HOW TO OFFER THE GIFT OF LISTENING (podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!  

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Susan Anderson as we discuss primal abandonment and what brought Susan to this topic. Learn why abandonment is a cumulative wound that can be triggered well into adulthood. She talks about the process of shattering and why this is a primal fear that lurks in our minds, and why it’s normal to have abandonment fear from the time of birth. We start with this conditioning at birth with primal abandonment, the universal feeling of disconnect or not being worthy of connection. Susan talks about the different types of abandonment and which life events can trigger or cause the feeling of primal abandonment within ourselves. She also speaks about how abandonment patterns can show up in choosing a partner who is emotionally and physically unavailable in adulthood. Listen in to learn why people are motivated to feel connected, the spectrum of abandonment, and why people who experience childhood abandonment will experience a more challenging time when a relationship dissolves. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Susan Anderson has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and groundbreaking research in working with victims of abandonment trauma. Founder of the Abandonment Recovery movement, she is the author of four books including Journey from Abandonment to Healing, Taming Your Outer Child, Black Swan: Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery and The Abandonment Recovery Workbook. In this episode, Susan Anderson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  How her husband leaving after an 18-year relationship brought her to specialize in abandonment issues Why abandonment is the primal issue that we share as humans Separation anxiety as a normalized emotional feeling The positive side effects of abandonment The human spectrum of emotional abandonment  Coping with childhood abandonment as an adult How abandonment triggers accumulate as a larger emotional wound The unconscious feeling of primal shame that comes with abandonment What the process of abandonment recovery looks like How you get to become the parent you never had growing up Mentioned Abandonment Outer Child Susan Anderso’s books: The Abandonment Recovery Workbook* Journey from Abandonment to Healing* Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment* Black Swan: The Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery*   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!  

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Ian Kerner. We discuss the effects of pornography on sexual health, why Ian became depressed about his personal sexuality, and how his sexual anxieties impacted his early relationships. He talks about his own battles with erectile unpredictability, how he grew up in a sex-invasive environment, and why he suffered from chronic early ejaculation as a young man. Ian talks about the importance of working with a sex therapist when a couple is challenged with sexual concerns. It can be extremely helpful in understanding sexual research and science to offer validation and direction.  Listen in to learn how critical it is to have a safe space to explore vulnerable emotions and all that is involved within our experience sexually (i.e. physically, emotionally, culturally, socially, mentally, etc).  (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio:  Ian Kerner is a nationally-recognized sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author of numerous books, including, She Comes First, which has been translated into more than a dozen languages. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with recent features in The Atlantic, the Economist and NPR amongst others and he contributes regularly on the topic of sex for CNN. He teaches and supervises at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in NYC. His new book will be published by Grand Central Publishing later this year.  In this episode, Ian Kerner and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  How anxiety can greatly influence our experience around sex Where couples commonly have issues around sex The psychological component of erectile unpredictability Differences in sexual issues based on gender Why women experience an orgasm gap The shame associated with the topic of sex Negative effects of an idiosyncratic masturbatory style How people can exile their sexuality in a relationship Why the essence of sex is also about being turned off as well as turned on   Mentioned Ian Kerner (website) She Comes First (book)   Connect with Ian Kerner   Join Ian Kerner on the web Pick up a copy of She Comes First   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!