ERP 256: The Mistakes People Make When Blending Families And What To Do Instead - An Interview With Tracy Poizner

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Tracy Poizner, who talks about the different dynamics between a traditional family and a blended family. Many parents who are divorced and remarried have an expectation that the blended family will work seamlessly. 

She talks about the common difficulties that couples experience when blending families and becoming a stepparent. She mentioned that when the parent and stepparent have a new child that it can feel like a betrayal. Most times, kids don’t have enough security in their relationship with their stepparent that they are OK with a new child coming into the mix.

Listen in to learn why the parent and child relationship has to come before the marriage in a blended family, why you need to make different choices for a blended family, and why you need to consider previous household boundaries when creating rules for the new blended family.

(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.)

Bio: 

Tracy Poizner is a parenting coach and the host of the Essential Stepmom Podcast. She is a biological mom and a stepmom and has been through it all, from long-distance parenting to parental alienation, legal difficulties, mental health issues, loss of contact and full-time custody. Tracy has a special perspective on emotional healing and how to meet our personal needs as stepmoms in the everyday chaos of this challenging lifestyle. 

In this episode, Tracy Poizner and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: 

• The biggest mistake of expecting a blended family to function like a traditional family
• Why it takes up to seven years for blended families to feel really at home together
• How dads often misunderstand their spouses role and how they are going to help parent
• How guilt of divorce can affect how you parent your children
• Parenting authentically and effectively in spite of your feelings
• Why children in a blended family can destroy a second marriage
• The challenges of making different choices in blended families
• Simple gestures blended families can make to create better bonding between the new family members
• The importance of respecting previous boundaries in the former household
• Why kids needs are first in line before spousal need with biological children
• How stepmoms can feel in competition with the kids for attention

 

Mentioned

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