Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide cover image

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Latest episodes

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Apr 8, 2025 • 52min

ERP 471: How the Pelvic Floor Is Related to Many Aspects of Health, Even the Domain of Relationship Health — An Interview with Patricia Siegel

About this Episode Pelvic floor health is a topic that's often shrouded in mystery and silence, yet it is fundamentally linked to our overall well-being, affecting everything from incontinence to intimacy. Many individuals, particularly those with female bodies, face the challenges of pelvic floor dysfunction post-pregnancy, during menopause, or even as athletes, without realizing that it is common but not normal and certainly not something they have to live with. Ignoring pelvic floor care can lead not only to physical discomfort but also strain in relationships due to issues like pain during intimacy or a lack of awareness surrounding one's own body needs. In this episode, we delve deep into the world of pelvic floor rehabilitation and prevention therapy to uncover the importance of addressing these issues head-on. Through holistic approaches, including exercises, education, and community support, listeners will learn about the often-overlooked muscles that play an important role in our bodily functions and intimate relationships. By shedding light on the resources and techniques available, listeners are encouraged to break the stigma, embrace their journey to healing, and ultimately improve their quality of life and connections with others. Patricia Siegel is a German native and Sports Scientist specializing in pelvic floor rehabilitation and prevention therapy. A former semi-professional track athlete, she is now the STRONG Fitness expert columnist regarding pelvic floor health. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  04:32 Understanding postpartum health: Pain, support, and recovery. 10:16 Hormone therapy alternatives during menopause. 11:45 Inspiring personal stories of fitness and overcoming challenges. 15:52 The benefits of regular exercise and fitness recommendations. 19:03 The role of breathing techniques in pelvic floor health. 20:27 Athletic performance and pelvic floor strength. 23:54 Navigating postpartum intimacy and emotional health. 29:12 Breaking the silence: Educating women on pelvic health. 32:56 Addressing trauma’s impact on pelvic floor health. 36:37 Communication’s role in postpartum relationships. 38:09 Developing a holistic program for pelvic health. 42:15 Promoting awareness and education on pelvic health issues. 46:52 Practical tips for maintaining pelvic floor health. Mentioned Squatty Potty ERP 125: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love The McKibbin Brothers (YouTube Channel) ERP 071: How To Use Sexual Energy To Improve Your Health & Relationship – With Sarina Stone A Beginner’s Guide to Mula Bandha (Root Lock) ERP 459: How To Support Sexual Desire In Relationship – An Interview with Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Patricia Siegel Websites: thefitpelvicfloor.com Instagram: instagram.com/thefitpelvicfloor Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Apr 1, 2025 • 54min

ERP 470: How to Get Off the Emotional Roller Coaster in Relationship, So That You Can Develop a Deeper, Lasting Connection — An Interview with Drs. Susan Thau & Sondra Goldstein

About this Episode One common struggle many face in a relationship is the challenge of getting off the emotional roller coaster. The highs and lows, misunderstandings, and unresolved conflicts can create a cycle of emotional upheaval, leaving partners feeling disconnected and frustrated. But what if we could find a way to smooth the ride and create deeper intimacy? If you've ever felt caught in a whirlwind of emotions in your relationships, you're not alone, and there are ways to navigate this complex terrain. In this episode, we delve into strategies and insights aimed at helping listeners break free from these patterns. With expert guidance, the discussion illuminates ways couples can enhance their emotional intelligence, communication skills, and conflict resolution abilities. By exploring both the individual and relational aspects of these dynamics, the conversation provides tools for transforming the way partners interact with each other. This episode offers a chance to learn how to nurture a relationship's foundation while navigating life's inevitable challenges, ultimately creating a more harmonious and enduring partnership. Susan Thau, Ph. D., Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst, wife, mother and grandmother treats individuals, couples and families, working intensively with emotional states. Along with Sondra Goldstein, Susan studied in a consultation group with Alan Schore, becoming interested in attachment and affect regulation. Dr Thau began as a parent educator, later Kaiser Permanente, and eventually private practice in Los Angeles where she specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Sondra is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice for many years in Los Angeles. She is a former Clinical Associate Professor, UCLA Department of Psychology. Past study with Allan Shore, PhD, enhances her understanding of neuro-psychobiology in the processing of emotion in couples. Her study of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps in understanding emotional dynamics in couples therapy. Sondra is also a wife of 53 years, a mother, and a grandmother. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  03:56 Understanding the framework of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). 09:39 Meeting the authors: a journey of professional collaboration. 10:51 The power of vulnerability and emotional connection. 15:36 Coregulation and the impact of presence in therapy. 18:09 Navigating emotional triggers and attachment styles. 21:44 Challenges of vulnerability and the role of the therapist. 25:54 The importance of repair and building resilience. 28:30 Acknowledging individual differences in processing. 31:45 Demystifying therapy: The role of the therapist as a stranger attractor. 34:12 Developing a secure base: The journey of earned security. 39:20 Processing stress: Sensitive emotional and aggressive responses. 41:15 Dealing with differences and building a strong relationship foundation. 46:10 The role of curiosity and connection. 49:16 Resources and guidance for relationship growth. Mentioned Living Love That Lasts (Youtube) (video) The Roller Coaster of Emotion in Couples Therapy (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Drs. Susan Thau & Sondra Goldstein Websites: susanthauphd.com Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Mar 25, 2025 • 55min

ERP 469: How to Develop New Dynamics for a Lasting, Caring Relationship – An Interview with Dr. Mark Gregory Karris

About this Episode Struggling to find deep, lasting connection in your relationship? You're not alone. Many couples experience cycles of miscommunication and emotional distance, leading to frustration and loneliness. But what if these challenges could become stepping stones to greater intimacy and understanding? Unlock the potential for a more fulfilling partnership by exploring new dynamics that foster empathy, understanding, and emotional intelligence. In this episode, we dive into the intricacies of intimate relating, exploring how individuals can develop new dynamics to nurture a lasting, caring relationship. You'll gain insights into recognizing and addressing underlying patterns and cycles that may be keeping you and your partner in a state of continuous conflict. With practical advice and expert guidance, this episode offers actionable steps to help you create a secure and supportive bond where both partners feel seen, heard, and valued. Join us as we explore the art of balancing individual growth with relational strength, paving the way for deeper connection and fulfillment. Dr. Mark Gregory Karris is a licensed marriage and family therapist in full-time private practice in San Diego, California. He specializes in couples therapy, religious trauma, and men’s issues. He is a husband, father, and recording artist. Mark is also the author of the best-selling books Religious Refugees: (De)Constructing Toward Spiritual and Emotional Healing and Beyond Fairy Tales: A Couple's Guide to Finding Clarity, Doing the Work, and Building a Lasting Relationship. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  04:46 Exploring the intersections of couples therapy and religious trauma. 10:40 Understanding the role of attachment styles in relationships. 14:07 Navigating the challenges of relationship cycles. 17:47 Differentiation and personal growth in partnerships. 20:51 The power of vulnerability in bridging connection. 23:06 Creating a safe space for open communication. 26:14 Embracing acceptance and grieving expectations. 31:19 Acknowledging community's role in relational support. 33:09 Balancing independence while fostering connection. 38:46 The importance of reflective empathy. 40:30 Caring for partner's unique needs and priorities. 43:23 Fostering intentional partnership practices. 46:30 Resources and insights for cultivating lasting relationships. Mentioned Beyond Fairy Tales (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Free Chapter from Beyond Fairy Tales (pdf) Finding Wholeness for an Integral Age They're Not Gaslighting You (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Let Them Theory (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Transformative Couples Therapy® ERP 423: How To Transcend Trauma (And The Effects Experience In Relationship) — An Interview With Dr. Frank Anderson ERP 372: How To Work Together In Relationship For A Strong, Secure Connection — An Interview With Dr. Stan Tatkin ERP 323: One Of The Most Important Relationship Skills – Being Relational — An Interview With Terry Real ERP 089: How to Use Love Languages to Strengthen Connection RP 281: How To Use The 6th Love Language In Your Relationship ERP 282: How To Use The 6th Love Language In Your Relationship – Part 2 Evolve in Love (program) Connect Dr. Mark Gregory Karris Website: markgregorykarris.com YouTube: youtube.com/@Dr.MarkKarris Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Mar 18, 2025 • 55min

ERP 468: How to Use a Trauma-Informed Approach for Repair in Relationship — An Interview with Esin Pinarli

About this Episode Every relationship experiences moments of disconnection. These instances, often referred to as ruptures, can feel alarming, especially when they seem to happen all too frequently. But what if conflict wasn't something to dread but rather an opportunity for growth and deeper connection? The problem many face is not the rupture itself but the lack of repair. Learning how to artfully navigate these reparative processes can transform conflicts from mounting resentment to meaningful growth. Are you ready to redefine how you view and handle conflicts in your relationships? In this episode, we delve into the heart of using a trauma-informed approach to repair relationships. Through a blend of therapeutic insights and practical techniques, the conversation sheds light on the dynamics of conflict and the importance of repair to foster genuine connection and intimacy. By tapping into our own inner resources and acknowledging our shared vulnerabilities, listeners can learn to transform challenges into powerful moments of healing, growth, and reconnection. Esin Pinarli is a holistic psychotherapist and relationship expert specializing in IMAGO therapy, brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic practices, and psychodrama. Through an integrative experiential approach, she helps individuals and couples suffering from anxiety, depression, addiction, codependency, trauma, and relational attachment issues to navigate life's challenges so they can become fully alive, supported, and whole. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  07:16 Understanding rupture and repair in relationships. 10:11 The role of conflict and repair in intimate connections. 13:38 Navigating disconnection using a trauma-informed approach. 17:06 Recognizing trauma response patterns in relationships. 23:28 Importance of reflecting and regulating responses. 25:43 Mirroring and attuning as steps in the repair process. 30:54 Nurturing vulnerability for deeper intimacy. 34:27 Cultivating empathy and understanding within partnerships. 35:24 Collaboration and accountability in healing relationship dynamics. 39:20 Handling simultaneous activation in partner dynamics. 42:47 Techniques for achieving regulation and calm. 45:56 Exploring creative solutions in conflict resolution. Mentioned Huberman Lab ERP 276: Understanding The Need For Both Self-Regulation And Co-Regulation In Relationship – An interview With Deb Dana Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Esin Pinarli Websites: eternalwellnesscounseling.com Instagram: instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Mar 11, 2025 • 54min

ERP 467: How to Elevate Your Life & Relationship with a Heliotropic Approach — An Interview with Dr. Harry Cohen

About this Episode Are you finding it difficult to maintain a fulfilling and harmonious relationship amidst the daily hustle and bustle of life? It's a common struggle that many people face: balancing personal growth with the demands of nurturing long-term intimacy. How do we rise above the noise and negativity that often cloud our interactions, both with others and within ourselves? In this episode, we delve into transformative strategies for enhancing your life's happiest moments and boosting the quality of your relationships using a Heliotropic Approach. This insightful conversation explores the power of being a more uplifting force—focusing on kindness, gratitude, and generating positivity. Stay tuned as Dr. Harry Cohen and Dr. Jessica Higgins break down simple yet profound practices to help you navigate challenges and transform them into opportunities for deepening intimacy and personal development. Join in as the conversation strives to create more positive, energizing connections in life and relationships. Dr. Harry Cohen, Ph.D. Psychologist, Executive Coach, Restauranter and Author of Be The Sun, Not The Salt, a short, straightforward yet profound guide for being your best self, uplifting others, and behaving in a manner that draws others toward you and makes you happier and more effective. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  06:16 Introducing Dr. Harry Cohen and his multidisciplinary background. 07:45 The heliotropic effect and embracing kindness. 12:46 Being present and heart-centered in interactions. 15:18 The power of words and self-reflection. 19:23 Feeding the right wolf: the power of choice. 21:40 Creating positive narratives in everyday life. 25:35 The impact of positivity on our relationships and environment. 26:44 Navigating negativity bias and fostering positivity. 31:48 The significance of gratitude and presence in practice. 34:54 Responding to crisis with grace and equanimity. 39:46 Lighting up relationships: deep listening and positive interactions. 44:57 The importance of acknowledgment in relationships. 46:06 Practical advice: apologizing and remembering who you are. Mentioned Be the Sun, Not the Salt (*Amazon Affiliate link) (audio book) Breńe Brown Ethan Kross ERP 123: Forgive For Love With Dr. Fred Luskin ERP 089: How to use Love Languages to strengthen connection Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Dr. Harry Cohen Websites: bethesunnotthesalt.com Instagram: instagram.com/bethesunnotthesalt Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/be-the-sun-not-the-salt/id1713906591 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Mar 4, 2025 • 57min

ERP 466: How to Enhance Your Relationship with the Practice of Presence — An Interview with Dr. Shahrzad Jalali

About this Episode Is communication the roadblock in your intimate relationships? Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and emotional escalations can often make navigating partnerships seem like a daunting task. The challenge lies in the fact that our lives are intertwined with others who have their own unique experiences and perspectives. What if embracing life's uncertainties and the practice of presence could transform these relational dynamics into something more harmonious and fulfilling? In this episode, we explore the art of deep listening and presence as powerful tools to enhance your relationship dynamics. Through enriching conversations, we'll delve into practices that can help you reconnect not only with yourself but also with your significant other. You will gain insights into how embracing vulnerability, understanding emotional activations, and learning to listen deeply can open the door to more profound connections. Whether you're aiming to resolve conflict or simply want to deepen intimacy, this episode offers the guidance needed to transform challenges into opportunities for growth and connection. Dr. Shahrzad Jalali, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist with expertise in trauma resolution, psychoanalysis, and relational dynamics. She guides clients in transforming emotional challenges into growth opportunities using a holistic approach that combines psychological, existential, and body-based techniques. Grounded in Jungian psychology, Dr. Jalali emphasizes cognitive restructuring and somatic healing to address trauma at its roots. Her upcoming 2025 book explores these themes, providing readers with practical insights into self-empowerment and resilience. Dr. Shahrzad Jalali identifies as Iranian-American, with a cultural background that blends Persian heritage with American influences. Her work integrates multicultural perspectives, enriching her therapeutic approach and fostering a deep understanding of diverse cultural experiences. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  05:44 How misunderstandings and emotional clashes in relationships often stem from individual differences in coping with life's challenges. 08:53 The importance of metacognition and shifting perspectives to help navigate difficulties and develop partnership resilience. 14:11 The cultural differences in emotional expression and the unrealistic societal expectation of constant happiness. 19:11 The art of truly listening to oneself and others as a crucial step toward emotional understanding and connection. 23:32 The illusory nature of control and how embracing vulnerability and curiosity can lead to deeper connections and personal growth. 32:32 The cultural and personal barriers that impede meaningful dialogue and how societal pressures influence our interactions. 36:10 Incorporating practices of emotional and psychological hygiene to navigate the complexities of daily life more effectively. 42:55 Recognizing and evaluating the personal and societal beliefs that shape our behavior and emotional responses. 44:22 Tools and approaches are discussed for identifying and reframing insecurities and fears to foster healthier relationships. Mentioned From Pain to Purpose (book) (*soon to be published) Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Dr. Shahrzad Jalali Websites: drjalaliandassociates.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shahrzad-jalali-psyd-2b547320 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Feb 25, 2025 • 52min

ERP 465: How Acceptance Can Strengthen Your Relationship — An Interview with Jon Anderson

About this Episode Ever feel like your romantic relationship is a swirling mystery of emotions, expectations, and challenges? At the heart of every partnership lies the quest for acceptance—a profound sense of being valued and understood, just as you are. Yet, the path to achieving this in our closest relationships can often feel fraught with misunderstandings and unmet needs. How can we navigate these turbulent waters to foster deeper connection and a lasting bond? In this episode, our experts delve into the transformative power of acceptance and its pivotal role in strengthening intimate relationships. With insights drawn from decades of experience in counseling and relationship coaching, this conversation explores how to break free from entrenched patterns and embrace acceptance as a cornerstone for emotional intimacy. Listeners will come away with practical strategies to rekindle their relationship's safety and vulnerability, ultimately leading to a more profound and enduring love. Jon is the founder of Growing Love Network, a nonprofit dedicated to revolutionizing relationships for lifelong love. He has conducted more than 170 marriage intensives for struggling couples, and couples in crisis. He has worked directly with thousands of couples and individuals through counseling and therapy and trained hundreds to facilitate effective marriage courses. He has been married to his wife, Joanna, since 1985. They have 3 grown children and 6 grandchildren. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights  05:25 Acceptance and power: Roots of relationship dynamics 07:26 Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. 12:54 Building a foundation of acceptance in relationships. 14:14 The shallow end vs deep end dynamics in relationships. 17:45 Establishing safety in partnerships: Shallow-end conversations 21:47 Creating structured conversations for safety and acceptance. 24:38 The role of quality time and affirmations in building acceptance. 28:09 Effective listening: a key to acceptance. 32:27 Prioritizing goodwill and understanding in relationships. 34:48 The power of positive focus: Shifting perspectives in relationships. 40:10 Navigating conflicting perspectives: The cul-de-sac analogy. 44:08 Inching back to vulnerability: Steps from shallow to deep end. 47:45 The importance of day-to-day intimacy and acceptance. 49:06 Insight into couple intensives: Accelerated progress in relationship therapy. Mentioned The Acceptance: What Brings And Keeps Lifelong Love (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Jon Anderson Websites: GrowingLoveNetwork.org Facebook: facebook.com/jonrandersonmarriagespecialist Instagram: instagram.com/jonrobertanderson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Feb 18, 2025 • 51min

ERP 464: How to Understand Your & Your Partners’ Conflict Style for Lasting Success - An Interview with Dr. Don Cole

Conflict is an inevitable aspect of any relationship, but how we handle it can make all the difference in the world. Whether you're finding that your disagreements escalate quickly or that issues get swept under the rug and resurface later, understanding your and your partner's conflict style can be a game-changer. How do you transform these clashes into opportunities for growth and deeper connection? The key lies in recognizing the patterns and learning the skills to navigate through them effectively. In this episode, we dive deep into the dynamics of different conflict styles—volatile, validating, and avoidant—and offer insights into how these patterns play out in relationships. You'll discover the importance of understanding not just your style but also your partner's, and how mismatched styles can be addressed for better harmony. With practical guidance and real-world examples, this discussion aims to equip you with the tools to foster a more resilient and connected relationship, even in the face of disagreements. Tune in to explore how you can create a new positive dynamic in your relationship by embracing and working with your unique conflict styles. Dr. Don Cole is the Clinical Director of The Gottman Institute and a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Washington. Along with his wife, Dr. Carrie Cole, he founded The Center for Relationship Wellness. With over 30 years of experience, he has worked with individuals and couples in various areas, including marital therapy, affair recovery, depression, anxiety, trauma recovery, parenting, and personality disorders. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 05:55 The three conflict styles: volatile, validating, and avoidant. 14:38 Conflicts arise in mismatched styles: the validator vs. the avoidant. 17:17 Understanding conflict styles: it's not about maturity or emotional intelligence. 19:34 Examining the volatile style: comfort with high energy and emotions. 26:06 The validator style: problem-solving and seeking understanding. 33:56 Managing conflict with avoidant partners: strategies for understanding. 35:37 Using the Gottman Rapoport style for effective communication. 43:46 Tools and resources: books, workshops, and psychoeducational materials. 45:56 Normalizing conflict: learning to accept and grow through differences. Mentioned Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Evolve in Love (program) Connect with Dr. Don Cole Websites: centerforrelationshipwellness.com Facebook: facebook.com/TheCenterForRelationshipWellness X: x.com/i/flow/login?redirect_after_login=%2FCtrRelWellness YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCmdTIdlzy6gAz1j7f4ggk_A LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/center-for-relationship-wellness Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Feb 11, 2025 • 53min

ERP 463: How to Make Love Last (From a Biological Perspective) — An Interview with Dr. Liat Yakir

Why do some relationships fizzle out while others seem to stand the test of time? We've all heard about the honeymoon phase—those butterflies in the belly, the excitement, and the dopamine rush—but what happens when that stage inevitably wanes? Relationships often hit a crossroads where familiarity sets in, and the novelty fades, posing a significant challenge for couples striving to maintain passion and deep connection. How can we make love last when our biology seems to be working against us? In this episode, we delve into the profound insights shared by a renowned biologist who explores the complexities of love from a biological standpoint. From understanding the chemicals that drive our attraction and attachment phases to practical strategies for reigniting excitement and intimacy, this conversation offers invaluable advice. Learn how to navigate the intricacies of your own love life by leveraging scientific knowledge to foster long-lasting, healthy relationships. Whether you're in a new relationship or have been with your partner for years, these insights can help you strengthen your bond and keep the spark alive. Dr. Liat Yakir is a distinguished biologist, writer, and lecturer specializing in the biology of emotions and human behavior. She advises organizations on neuro-management (also known as neuro-leadership), leveraging cutting-edge insights from brain research to cultivate exceptional leadership skills and practices. Dr. Yakir earned her Ph.D. and completed postdoctoral studies in molecular genetics. She also holds a master’s degree in hormone research. With years of experience in science education and communication, she has made significant contributions at the Davidson Institute for Science Education, the educational arm of the Weizmann Institute Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 06:40 Understand love through a biological lens. 09:00 The three stages of love. 13:03 Attachment styles and their impact on relationships. 19:15 Why initial attractions can be misleading. 22:28 The conflict between stability and novelty in love. 30:08 The genetics of monogamy and polyamory. 32:53 Increasing dopamine levels to enhance relationships. 36:03 The role of jealousy and status in attraction. 38:11 Maintaining passion and intimacy in long-term relationships. 44:28 Overcoming sexual scripts and routine through play. 46:06 The importance of communication and appreciation in relationships. Mentioned A Brief History of Love (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep--Love ERP 287: How To Engage In The Art Of Giving And Receiving: Using The Wheel Of Consent – An Interview With Dr. Betty Martin Evolve in Love (link) (program) Connect with Dr. Liat Yakir Websites: en.liatyakir.com Facebook: facebook.com/liatyakir5976 Instagram: instagram.com/dr_liatya Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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Feb 4, 2025 • 56min

ERP 462: How to Deal With the Societal Pressures Around Money & How to Develop a Healthy Relationship with Money in Partnership — An Interview with Elizabeth Husserl

Money can be a daunting topic, especially when societal pressures and differing personal values come into play. How do we break free from these external expectations while fostering a healthy financial dynamic within our relationships? This episode delves deep into the intricate psyche of our monetary interactions, examining how they can reflect broader themes of security, belonging, and self-worth. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the financial expectations placed upon you or worried about aligning your monetary habits with those of a partner, you're not alone. In this episode, we explore practical strategies and thoughtful exercises to help partners cultivate a healthier relationship with money. We discuss the importance of defining wealth beyond mere numbers and how to recognize and address our individual money patterns. Through meaningful dialogues and engaging practices like the wealth mandala and satiation challenge, listeners are guided to become more conscious of their spending habits and financial goals. By the end of this episode, you'll gain a new perspective on managing money in a way that aligns with your values, fosters trust, and promotes a sense of fulfillment within your relationships. Elizabeth Husserl is a registered investment advisor representative, financial advisor, highly sought-after speaker, and cofounder of Peak360 Wealth Management, a boutique wealth planning firm. She does nonprofit work throughout the Americas and has led workshops at major tech companies, including Airbnb, Unity, and Google. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and daughter. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 07:19 The importance of psychological perspectives in financial advisory. 11:13 Defining wealth beyond monetary value. 18:14 Examining personal relationships with money. 28:29 Addressing trust and transparency in financial relationships. 31:16 Comparing consumer choices within community contexts. 34:16 Recognizing societal pressures and redefining success. 37:54 Building mindfulness and playfulness in financial conversations. 40:38 Exploring belonging and fulfillment without excess consumption. 49:23 Encouraging shared financial inquiry and practices for couples. Mentioned The Power of Enough (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Smart Couples Finish Rich (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Evolve in Love (link) (program) Connect with Elizabeth Husserl Websites: elizabethhusserl.com Instagram: instagram.com/elizabethhusserl LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/elizabethhusserl Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

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