Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dr. Jessica Higgins
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Dec 30, 2025 • 48min

ERP 509: When Ambition Costs Connection: How Overachievers Can Find Healthy, Aligned Love — An Interview with Keren Eldad

Are you chasing every gold star, climbing every ladder, and nailing every "right" mark—only to find yourself missing out on real fulfillment and meaningful connection? The relentless pursuit of achievement can sometimes leave us feeling lonely, disconnected from ourselves, and trapped in relationships that don't truly nourish our hearts. When ambition runs amok, the cost may be far greater than just burnout or missed vacation days—it can lead to self-abandonment and relationships that feel more like a cage than a home. In this episode, you'll discover how overachievement and perfectionism can sabotage our capacity for genuine connection—and what it takes to turn things around. Through honest storytelling and practical insight, the conversation explores the hidden costs of self-abandonment and the steps toward reclaiming self-worth, authenticity, and aligned love. Whether you're feeling the grind of burnout or yearning for more realness in your relationships, you'll gain tools for slowing down, getting honest with yourself, and opening up to relationships that feel like home. Coach Keren Eldad is an Executive Coach, Speaker, podcast host and the Author of the new book: GILDED - Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism and the Relentless Pursuit of More. Episode Highlights 06:18 The roots of self-abandonment: Overachievement and relationship choices. 09:12 Societal pressure and the pursuit of external validation in partner selection. 10:27 Personal story: From self-betrayal to reconstructing identity and worth. 16:07 Building healthy love: The learning curve toward self-connection in relationships. 20:39 Embracing uncertainty: Letting go of control and playing to win in relationships. 26:56 Yellow flags in relationships: Burnout, overfunctioning, and sexless marriages. 31:29 Radical honesty and initiating difficult conversations. 35:51 Centering yourself before addressing relationship issues. 39:54 Tools, coaching, and the path to authentic relationships. Your Check List of Actions to Take Pause and self-reflect: Practice taking a mindful pause before reacting in relationships to better understand your true feelings and needs. Identify your patterns: Bring awareness to tendencies like overachieving or people-pleasing that may be impacting your connections. Prioritize self-worth: Work on recognizing and affirming your own worth, rather than relying on external validation or achievement. Start small conversations: When something feels off in your relationship, gently broach the subject with curiosity rather than jumping into confrontation. Read for growth: Incorporate reading transformational books by thought leaders to cultivate self-awareness. Seek support: Consider working with a coach or therapist to dig deeper into your personal growth and relationship patterns. Practice radical honesty: Begin being radically honest with yourself about what you want and how you feel, as self-abandonment only perpetuates dissatisfaction. Accept uncertainty: Learn to embrace the unknown in relationships, allowing space for vulnerability and authentic connection rather than controlling outcomes. Mentioned Gilded: Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism, and the Relentless Pursuit of More (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self *Amazon link (book) Dare to Lead (*Amazon link) (book) Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (*Amazon link) (book) The Work of Byron Katie (website) Brene Brown (website) Eckhart Tolle (website) Ram Dass (website) Louise Hay (website) ERP 494: Designing Love That Lasts: 6 Principles for Lasting Connection — An Interview with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh ERP 174: How to Experience More Love in Your Relationship with Byron Katie 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Keren Elded Websites: KerenEldad.com Facebook: facebook.com/LiveWithEnthusiasm?_rdc=1&_rdr# YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCgGViwGVn_yrHkq3PQ9R_-Q Instagram: instagram.com/coachkeren/?hl=en LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/keren-eldad Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coached-with-coach-keren/id1467079024
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Dec 23, 2025 • 40min

ERP 508: The Power of Collaboration: Building Trust and Connection in Love and Life — An Interview with Leslie Grossman

In a world that often glorifies rugged individualism, finding real connection and mutual growth with others can feel elusive, especially when it comes to our closest relationships. The secret ingredient might just be what so many overlook: genuine collaboration—both at home and beyond. What if the key to thriving wasn't "doing it all yourself," but learning how to truly work together? In this episode, you'll discover how building circles of collaboration can transform your personal relationships, family dynamics, and even your broader social and professional connections. Through real-life stories and practical strategies, you'll learn why trust, curiosity, and deep listening are so essential for building fulfilling partnerships. You'll also hear how taking intentional steps—like active listening, sharing vulnerability, and nurturing supportive communities—can help you experience more connection, resilience, and joy in every area of your life. Leslie Grossman is a trailblazer in leadership, and professional and career development for women. She is an accomplished executive coach, keynote speaker, researcher, serial entrepreneur and co-founder of the Women's Leadership Exchange, the first national conference program for women based on collaborative leadership. She is faculty director of Executive Women's Leadership at The George Washington University – Center for Excellence in Public Leadership. Leslie's latest book, "Circles of Collaboration", reveals the time-tested method of harnessing one's success and fulfillment on the principles of collaboration, trust, generosity and communication. Episode Highlights 06:27 Navigating leadership roles and collaboration in relationships. 08:21 Intentionality in creating circles of collaboration. 10:33 The power of deep listening and curiosity in partnership. 14:38 Building meaningful connections through intentional questions. 17:40 Vulnerability, trust, and support systems in relationships. 20:27 Generosity, active listening, and expanding your circles. 25:28 Collaborative exchanges and asking for support. 28:24 Negotiating imperfect collaboration and relationship expectations. 31:06 Bringing up important issues: Timing and communication. 34:17 The impact of collaborative relationships and taking action. Your Check List of Actions to Take Divide and conquer roles: In partnerships, clearly designate leaders for different areas, but always ensure communication and final decisions respect collaboration and listening. Practice deep listening: Be intentional about giving your full attention to your partner or colleague; don't interrupt or assume you know what they'll say. Ask curious questions: Show genuine interest by asking open-ended questions about feelings, experiences, and perspectives to foster connection. Build multiple circles of collaboration: Develop relationships beyond your intimate partnership—think family, friends, work, and community circles—to enrich your support network. Be intentional with connection: Choose to initiate deeper conversations with those you care about, rather than keeping interactions at a surface level. Cultivate generosity: Offer your time and listening ear generously; seek ways to support others, such as facilitating introductions or sharing helpful resources. Keep track of important issues: If topics arise that feel uncomfortable to discuss, jot them down and revisit them when the timing is better; don't let them slip away. Let go of perfection: Accept that not all relationships or collaborations will be perfectly reciprocal; allow space for difference and focus energy on relationships that foster growth and mutual support. Mentioned Circles of Collaboration (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) ERP 301: How an Entrepreneur Couple Can Negotiate Love and Business Successfully — An Interview with Dr. Ellyn Bader 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Leslie Grossman Website: Lesliegrossmanvision.com YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCqjD0Y4L0XVjzixocEsO8kw Instagram: instagram.com/lesliegrossmanvision LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lesliegrossmanleadership
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Dec 16, 2025 • 47min

ERP 507: The Power of Attention: How to Access What Really Matters in Moments of Conflict — An Interview with Dana Caspersen

Why do the smallest disagreements with loved ones sometimes feel like the fiercest battles? Conflict in relationships often spirals into unproductive cycles of attack and defense, leaving us stuck, misunderstood, and further apart from the connection we crave. We rush to defend, strategize, and fix—yet rarely pause long enough to truly understand what matters beneath the surface. In this episode, listeners are invited to explore powerful strategies for breaking the cycle of reactivity and shifting attention toward curiosity, clarity, and genuine understanding. Through personal stories, actionable principles, and practical guidance, the conversation uncovers how paying attention to our underlying needs, emotions, interests, and habitual responses can foster a more constructive, compassionate, and collaborative approach to navigating conflict. By learning to differentiate between strategies and the needs they serve, listeners gain the tools to create meaningful change, deepen intimacy, and transform even the stickiest conflicts into opportunities for growth. Dana Caspersen is a conflict engagement specialist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and award-winning performing artist. She works with individuals, organizations, and communities worldwide as a trainer, coach, consultant, and dialogue designer. Drawing on the knowledge and insight gained from her experience as a mediator and conflict analyst and her 40-year career as a performing arts innovator, Dana empowers people and organizations to navigate complex and challenging situations. Conflict Is an Opportunity is her newest book. Episode Highlights 04:22 How our bodies react and impact communication. 09:25 Moving from attack-defense to understanding in conflict. 13:22 The impact of unmet needs in relationship conflict. 14:22 Distinguishing needs, emotions, interests, and strategies. 18:16 Creating a supportive relationship culture for navigating conflict. 23:15 The importance of internal clarification before addressing issues. 24:50 Practicing curiosity and validation during difficult interactions. 28:35 Managing communication triggers and acknowledging emotions. 33:32 Intentional connection and embodied curiosity in conflict resolution. 36:07 Safety, attachment, and speaking from interests instead of vulnerabilities. 38:06 Conscious decision-making and the role of requests in conflict. 42:46 Applying conflict skills across all relationships and areas of life. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Before addressing conflict, take a moment to breathe, relax, and bring your attention inward so you can respond rather than react. Pay attention to your body's stress signals—like a tight neck or jaw—and consciously shift to a more open, relaxed posture to support curiosity and connection. Redirect your attention away from attack and defense; instead, get genuinely curious about what your partner is feeling and what matters to them. Start conversations by acknowledging your partner's feelings and concerns to disarm defensiveness and open up constructive dialogue. Recognize that requests or strategies (like asking your partner to be home by 8) often mask deeper needs (such as intimacy or security), and talk about those underlying needs instead. Approach your partner with open-ended requests rather than demands, creating space for true dialogue and collaboration. Use your emotions as a clue to uncover your real needs and interests, then express those clearly and kindly to your partner. Expect that conflict will arise and discuss with your partner how you'll address it—having a shared mindset helps you get back on track when things get heated. Mentioned Conflict Is an Opportunity (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Conflict is a place of possibility (TedX Talks) (YouTube link) (video) Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are (TED) (YouTube link) (video) Gottman Institute Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (*Psychology Today) (link) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Dana Caspersen Website: danacaspersen.com Facebook: facebook.com/DanaCaspersen Instagram: instagram.com/dcaspersen LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dana-caspersen
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Dec 9, 2025 • 48min

ERP 506: Regulate Your Body, Transform Your Bond: The Habit Science Behind Healthy Love — An Interview with Hadlee Garrison

Ever feel like your to-do list is running your life and you barely have any energy left for what matters most—like connecting with loved ones or just enjoying the moment? In our fast-paced world, we often believe productivity comes from pushing ourselves harder, burning the candle at both ends, and tackling more tasks. But what if the key to a happier, healthier life starts before you even get to your goals and conversations—right in the foundation of your daily rhythms and body awareness? In this episode, you'll discover why tuning into your body's core needs is the missing link for emotional safety, deeper relationships, and true productivity. The conversation unveils science-backed strategies and ancient wisdom to help you manage your energy, regulate your nervous system, and build habits that become second nature. You'll also explore personalized approaches to self-care—so you can stop the cycle of burnout and perfectionism, cultivate more resilience, and create space for meaningful connections every day. Hadlee Garrison, MPH, is a holistic Health Counselor, behavior change expert, podcaster, and speaker. She's the creator of the Happy Healthy Habits coaching program, where she helps women optimize their energy levels, regulate their nervous systems, and heal their relationship with their bodies and themselves. With degrees in Biopsychology and Health Education from the University of Michigan, as well as training in Ayurveda, Hadlee blends evidence-based science with holistic modalities to help her clients thrive. Episode Highlights 04:43 Struggling with body image, emotional eating, and disconnection in early life. 08:40 Discovering Ayurveda and mind-body practices for emotional safety. 12:32 The link between nervous system capacity and relationship conflict. 13:52 Building foundational health habits: Circadian rhythms, sleep, and energy management. 19:27 Prioritizing consistent bedtime for optimal health. 20:35 How personal health habits impact relationship dynamics. 26:22 Energy archetypes: Understanding personal stress patterns. 34:49 Taking small steps and automating self-care habits. 41:39 Oil massage and physical self-love practices for nervous system regulation. 44:13 Resources for discovering your energy archetype and connecting with Hadlee. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Prioritize consistent sleep: Go to bed at the same time every night to support healthy circadian rhythms and overall well-being. Establish a simple morning routine: Create morning habits that energize you—this doesn't mean a lengthy ritual, but something that helps you feel awake and grounded. Identify your energy drains and boosters: Pay attention to which tasks or activities drain your energy and which ones replenish it, adjusting your schedule accordingly. Automate foundational habits: Focus on making your basic self-care and wellness routines so automatic that they require little mental energy to maintain. Start small with new habits: If you're building a new habit, begin with manageable baby steps to ensure consistency and avoid burnout or overwhelm. Incorporate nervous system regulation: After foundational habits are in place, introduce practices like breathwork or somatic exercises, but only as needed—not all day, every day. Ask for support from your partner: Communicate with your partner about what helps you regulate—this might be a gentle touch, a walk together, or another soothing gesture during conflict. Customize your self-care: Recognize your personal energy archetype and tailor your wellness strategies—whether you need more grounding, invigoration, or soothing—based on your unique tendencies. Mentioned Energy Archetype Quiz (link) (quiz) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Hadlee Garrison Websites: happyhealthyhadlee.com YouTube: youtube.com/@happyhealthyhadlee Instagram: instagram.com/happyhealthyhadlee TikTok: tiktok.com/@happyhealthyhadlee Podcast: Spotify: https://bit.ly/4iGbHZN | Apple Podcast: https://bit.ly/4iHvBDG
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Dec 2, 2025 • 44min

ERP 505: Money Wounds in Love: Healing the Hidden Stories Behind Your Spending and Saving — An Interview with Shari Rash

When was the last time you felt a sinking feeling just thinking about money? For many, money is far more than just numbers in a bank account—it's tangled up with our emotions, childhood experiences, and even our closest relationships. All too often, conversations around money get swept under the rug, leaving us to battle our financial stress and shame alone. But what if unraveling these hidden money wounds is the key to building stronger connections—with ourselves and with others? In this episode, listeners are invited to reimagine their relationship with money and begin addressing the emotional baggage attached to it. Through relatable stories and practical examples, this conversation explores how early money memories shape our beliefs and behaviors, and impact how we communicate with partners, friends, and even our kids. You'll learn actionable steps to identify your own "money story," bridge differences in financial perspectives, and move from feelings of shame or avoidance to a place of security and mutual understanding. If you're ready to make money a tool for connection rather than conflict, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming anxiety into empowerment. Shari Rash is a nationally recognized financial advisor, money mindset expert, and the host of Everyone's Talkin' Money—named a Top 4 money podcast by The New York Times, with over 24 million downloads. Shari breaks down complex financial topics into real-life conversations that empower women to own their worth and build lasting wealth. She's been named a 2024 Best Wealth Manager and Advisor Under 40 by InvestmentNews. Episode Highlights 04:40 How sharing money struggles brings us closer. 07:59 Understanding money personalities in romantic relationships. 10:08 Unpacking money conflicts: Addressing deeper needs in couples. 13:58 Creating compromises and shared financial goals in partnership. 17:20 Exploring childhood money memories and their lasting impact. 22:36 Real couple example: Money stories shaping habits and choices. 24:51 Turning financial difficulties into relationship growth. 26:57 The healing power of monthly money conversations. 31:28 Moving from money shame to practical, empowered choices. 38:26 Making spending intentional and aligning with values. 41:47 Reflection questions to deepen your money relationships. Your Checklist of Actions to Take Reflect on your earliest money memory to uncover potential beliefs and wounds about finances. Initiate regular, open conversations about money with your partner or friends without sharing private details. Identify your and your partner's "money personality" (saver, spender, hoarder, YOLO) to better understand differences in financial habits. Practice vulnerability by sharing concerns or challenges related to money to strengthen intimacy and support. Set a realistic number that feels comfortable for your checking account and use it as your "zero" baseline. Build an emergency fund by calculating three to six months of expenses and agreeing on the right amount for your household. Align spending habits with your core values and make intentional choices that reflect what matters most to you. Create structured, positive money check-ins with your partner, starting each meeting with wins or appreciations to foster connection. Mentioned 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Shari Rash Websites: everyonestalkinmoneypodcast.com | gwawealth.com X: x.com/MoneyChicShari YouTube: youtube.com/@EveryonesTalkinMoney Instagram: instagram.com/everyonestalkinmoney LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shari-rash
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Nov 25, 2025 • 48min

ERP 504: Loving Through Estrangement: How Couples Can Heal, Support & Stay Connected — An Interview with Dr. Rachel Glik

Navigating the complexities of family dynamics can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope—especially when relationships between parents and adult children become strained or even break down completely. Family estrangement is an increasingly common challenge that can leave everyone involved feeling isolated, misunderstood, and in deep pain. When communication falters and generational differences collide, how do we find a path toward empathy, healing, and growth? In this episode, listeners are invited into a heartfelt exploration of adult child-parent estrangement, its underlying causes, and the impact it has on both individuals and entire families. The conversation offers practical insights on healing old wounds, understanding the spiritual and psychological dynamics at play, and tools for fostering compassion—even when distance or conflict seems insurmountable. With stories, expert reflections, and actionable guidance, this discussion aims to support anyone facing the difficult terrain of family disconnection, offering hope and concrete steps toward greater understanding and unity. Dr. Rachel Glik is a licensed professional counselor with 30+ years as a couples, individual and family therapist in private practice. Since 2014, she has been a regular feature on the Fox 2 AM show in St. Louis as a relationship and mental health expert. Rachel appeared on NBC News Daily at the launch of her book, A Soulful Marriage: Healing Your Relationship with Responsibility, Growth, Priority, and Purpose. She is a writer for The Wall Street Journal, CNBC Make It, Psychology Today, and MindBodyGreen. Rachel teaches and gives seminars for organizations such as The Kabbalah Centre and Young Presidents Organization (YPO). She lives in St. Louis with her husband and large extended family. Episode Highlights 03:40 Exploring why parent–child estrangement is becoming more common. 09:04 Considering how distance can sometimes support healing and growth. 12:35 The power of early repair before patterns set in. 15:03 Understanding the emotional complexity of parenting adult children. 16:31 Shifting into a new parental role as boundaries and autonomy evolve. 21:35 Recognizing the grief and self-validation needed as relationships change. 24:26 Reflecting on how to hold a compassionate space for an adult child's experience. 26:09 Learning to move beyond defensiveness and listen with openness. 29:38 Embracing generational differences with curiosity rather than fear. 32:56 Navigating how estrangement affects couples and their parenting alignment. 37:56 Prioritizing self-compassion in the midst of relational hardship. 40:43 Practicing accountability and authentic repair within the family and partnership. Your Check List of Actions to Take Take a moment to ground yourself with a deep breath before engaging in challenging family conversations to increase presence and calm. When tension arises, reflect honestly on how your actions may contribute, and express accountability to foster trust and safety. Aim to respond with supportive, non-judgmental language, empowering your adult child to make their own decisions. Listen deeply to your child's experiences and feelings, holding space for their emotions without jumping into explanations or defense. Find the balance between support and over-giving, maintain your wellbeing, and be mindful of your energy. Ask permission before sharing concerns or advice, acknowledging you're entering your adult child's "lane." Recognize the pain and complexity of estrangement, and give yourself grace throughout the healing process. Reach out for therapy, coaching, or resources to receive guidance in navigating family estrangement and building new communication strategies. Mentioned A Soulful Marriage (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Family Constellations (*Wikipedia link) Passionate Marriage (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Kabbalah (*Wikipedia link) ERP 473: How to Experience More Embodied Pleasure Sexually – An Interview with Susan Taylor 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Dr. Rachel Glik Websites: drrachelglik.com Facebook: facebook.com/p/Dr-Rachel-Glik-EdD-LPC-100027702446361 Instagram: instagram.com/drrachelglik LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-rachel-glik-edd-lpc-a7047ab Pinterest: pinterest.com/drrachelglik
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Nov 19, 2025 • 46min

503: How to Feel Safe in Love: Healing Attachment Wounds and Building Secure Relationships — An Interview with Jessica Baum

Many of us move through life repeating the same painful relationship patterns—feeling unsafe, unseen, or disconnected, even when we're trying our hardest to "do everything right." Invisible wounds from early experiences quietly shape the ways we love, cope, and relate as adults. Instead of recognizing these patterns as natural adaptations, we often turn the blame inward, not realizing that our attachment styles and protective behaviors are rooted in the body and nervous system as much as the mind. Real healing isn't about forcing change or consuming endless self-help advice—it's about reshaping your internal sense of safety on a deeply felt, embodied level. In this episode, we explore how secure, nourishing relationships begin with understanding the implicit memories, sensations, and patterns that live inside us. Learn how to meet old wounds with compassion, honor the protective parts that once kept you safe, and gently build new internal anchors of stability and trust. Using tools like the Wheel of Attachment and the practice of "finding your anchors," this episode offers both a clear roadmap and grounded encouragement for anyone ready to move beyond survival mode and experience connection that feels authentic, spacious, and truly supportive. Jessica Baum is a licensed psychotherapist, certified addiction specialist, and Imago couples therapist with advanced training in EMDR, CBT, DBT, and experiential therapy. She founded the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach and leads a global coaching company supporting clients worldwide. Passionate about trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology, Jessica helps individuals and couples heal and reconnect. Her bestselling book, Anxiously Attached, has made her a respected voice in nurturing secure, fulfilling relationships. Episode Highlights 05:55 How early experiences shape our sense of safety. 07:48 Implicit memories and relationship patterns. 11:09 The importance of somatic (body-based) memory. 13:14 Reconnecting with the body for healing. 18:42 Understanding and honoring protective behaviors. 21:40 Building trust in healthier relationship dynamics. 25:00 The essential role of anchors in healing. 26:06 Why healing requires relationships, not willpower. 31:43 Finding and cultivating emotional anchors. 35:05 The Wheel of Attachment: A nuanced approach. 37:45 Earning security through supportive experiences. 40:31 Moving toward fulfillment: Real connection and support. Your Check List of Actions to Take Slow down and take mindful pauses to help connect with your body and increase present-moment awareness. Notice physical sensations during interactions, especially in moments of emotional intensity, to access implicit memories and attachment wounds. Practice developing interoception—your ability to sense internal bodily states—to better understand your emotional responses in relationships. Identify and honor your protective patterns ("protectors") rather than judging them; acknowledge they were there to support you. Seek out safe "anchors" or individuals who can offer emotional co-regulation and support your healing process. Use the "Wheel of Attachment" framework to explore how your early relational dynamics show up in current relationships. If you lack supportive anchors, resource from memories of secure figures (e.g., a teacher, grandparent) or pursue professional support. Engage in relationships and healing spaces where vulnerability, witnessing, and somatic attunement are encouraged, facilitating earned secure attachment over time. Mentioned Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love SAFE (Interview and freebies link) Nurturing the Heart (Dr. Bonnie Badenoch's website) Conscious Relationship Group (Facebook group) (link) Relationship Institute of Palm Beach ERP 342: How Love Transforms Our Nervous System — An Interview With Jessica Baum ERP 276: Understanding The Need For Both Self-Regulation And Co-Regulation In Relationship – An interview With Deb Dana ERP 261: How To Strengthen Your Relationship From A Polyvagal Perspective – An Interview with Dr. Stephen Porges ERP 423: How To Transcend Trauma (And The Effects Experience In Relationship) — An Interview With Dr. Frank Anderson 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide) Connect with Jessica Baum Websites: beselffull.com Facebook: facebook.com/consciousrelationshipgroup YouTube: youtube.com/@jessicabaumlmhc Instagram: instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc
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Nov 12, 2025 • 45min

ERP 502: Beyond Fear and Control: Building Emotional Flexibility in Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona

Are you letting anxiety and the need to play it safe hold you hostage in your relationships and personal growth? Too often, fear—of rejection, failure, or the unknown—becomes the invisible fence shaping our actions. Perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking, and the constant urge to avoid discomfort can shrink our lives, leaving us disconnected from our true selves and the people we care about most. In this episode, we explore how fear influences perfectionism, anxiety, and avoidance in our relationships and daily lives. Discover compassionate approaches to working with anxiety—learning why fighting it doesn't work, and how, instead, our willingness to acknowledge, understand, and even befriend discomfort can become a gateway to deeper connection and greater freedom. Through practical tools and real-world strategies like "uncertainty workouts," values-based action, and self-compassion, this episode aims to help you navigate the messy, beautiful process of showing up more authentically for yourself and those you care about. Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona is on a mission to help people break free from ineffective, play-it-safe patterns so they can begin living rich, purposeful, and meaningful lives. A trained psychologist, she is the author of seven books and co-author of two more. Her expertise has led her to present workshops at both national and international conferences. She also runs a boutique therapy and coaching practice that specializes in the application of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for anxiety. Passionate about her work, she delights in creating personalized resources for every client she serves. Episode Highlights 06:03 The interconnectedness of anxiety and its impact on life. 09:07 The importance of accepting anxiety instead of fighting it. 10:02 Using values to guide responses and reduce anxiety's control. 13:50 The need to tolerate discomfort in relationships. 18:53 Navigating fear of commitment and embracing uncertainty. 22:49 Building tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty. 24:32 How avoiding uncomfortable emotions can increase suffering and relates to trauma and emotional regulation. 29:52 Values-based exposure and compassionate approaches to fear. 33:41 Developing micro skills for managing difficult conversations. 35:41 Integrating self-compassion and Wise Moves for anxiety management. 38:01 Practical resources, parenting insights, and closing reflections. Your Check List of Actions to Take Take a moment to pause with a deep inhale and exhale, noticing sensations in your body before engaging in difficult conversations or when feeling anxious. Instead of fighting anxiety, recognize it as a protective part of your humanity and make room for it. When anxiety arises, ask yourself what truly matters to you in that moment to guide your response. Embrace uncomfortable feelings in relationships without avoidance, viewing them as essential for growth and authenticity. Intentionally expose yourself to uncertainty in small, manageable ways (like trying a new restaurant or activity) to build tolerance. When fear surfaces, actively choose actions that align with your core values—even if they feel difficult. Treat yourself with gentleness during moments of avoidance, procrastination, or anxiety, recognizing your effort and courage. When facing a fearful situation, pause and check in with your body and thoughts, then proceed with intentionality rather than rushing through. Mentioned The ACT Workbook for Teens with OCD (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Escaping the Emotional Roller Coaster (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Parenting a Troubled Teen (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The ACT Workbook for the Anxious Procrastinator (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Dr. Z's Online Classes (link) ERP 461: How to Increase Psychological Flexibility for Healthy Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Steven Hayes ERP 238: How To Find Your Emotional Balance In Relationship 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free relationship guide) (pdf) Connect with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona Websites: thisisdoctorz.com | eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com Facebook: facebook.com/EastBayBehaviorTherapyCenter | facebook.com/Dr-Z-102029237841421 X: twitter.com/DrZ_behaviorist YouTube: linkedin.com/in/patricia-e-zurita-ona-psy-d-949b5a15 Instagram: instagram.com/dr.z.passionatebehaviorist
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Nov 4, 2025 • 45min

ERP 501: From Projection to Presence: The Art of Seeing and Being Seen — An Interview With David Mars

Feeling unseen and misunderstood in your closest relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences, even when surrounded by family and friends. It's not uncommon for couples to fall into patterns of projection, reactivity, and defensiveness, leaving genuine intimacy and deep connection feeling just out of reach. How do we move from these cycles of blame and distance towards the kind of secure, transformative partnership that brings true accompaniment, dignity, and joy? In this episode, you are invited to slow down and explore new pathways to presence and connection. Through practical tools, guided reflection, and insights rooted in transformative couples therapy, you'll discover ways to move beyond automatic reactivity and habitual defense, and instead cultivate curiosity, somatic awareness, and genuine intimacy. Whether you're looking to strengthen trust, improve communication, or rekindle the spark in a long-term bond, this conversation offers powerful guidance for anyone seeking more clarity, care, and lasting growth in their relationships. Since 2008 Dr. David Mars has been the developer of Transformative Couples Therapy® (TCT). He leads seminars and training programs internationally on TCT. Affective neuroscience and attachment research are central to this experiential, somatically attuned and positivity-based method. Currently Dr. Mars also is the leader of a three-year project to quantify the results of TCT in preparation to offer published research on outcomes of the method. He is the Director of the Transformative Couples Therapy® Institute. Episode Highlights 03:39 The impact of curiosity and projections in long-term relationships. 08:32 How attachment styles form early in life and opportunities for change. 10:05 The importance of somatic awareness, attunement, and slowing down in relationships. 15:42 Gender, stress, and the emotional costs of disconnection. 17:48 Strategies for setting boundaries and cultivating safe communication. 23:14 Transformation and growth through the I-Thou relationship. 24:43 Daily practices and the seven channels of experience in couples therapy. 29:49 Awareness of energetic imprints and somatic patterns from early life. 31:15 Navigating and embracing partner differences in relationships. 34:43 The role of journaling, self-regulation, and reverence in relational health. 40:57 Somatic-based modalities, resources, and generativity in relationships. Your Check List of Actions to Take Begin your conversations or sessions with your partner by sharing something you appreciate about each other to set a positive tone. Take a deep inhale and exhale together to ground yourselves and invite presence before important discussions. Communicate your feelings and needs using "I" statements to promote vulnerability and reduce defensiveness. Speak directly to your partner, not just about them or through a third party, to foster genuine connection. Notice and share your body sensations (like a tight chest or warm hands) during emotional exchanges to heighten self-awareness and attunement. Approach your partner with genuine curiosity and try to witness their experience, rather than making assumptions or projecting your own perspective. If either partner feels overwhelmed or unresourced, honor the need to pause and agree on a time to revisit the conversation. Tune into the seven channels—sensation, emotion, energy, movement, auditory, visual, and imaginal—to enrich both your self-awareness and your communication with your partner. Mentioned Martin Buber (Britannica link) (biography) I-Thou (*Britannica link) The I-Thou Relationship and Unconditional Positive Regard (*Psychology Today) Carl Rogers (*Wikipedia link) (article) The 1957 Martin Buber-Carl Rogers Dialogue, as Dialogue (*Sage Journals) (study) Beatrice Beebe (*Wikipedia link) (article) *John Bowlby (*Wikipedia link) (article) *John Beebe (*Wikipedia link) (article) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free relationship guide) (pdf) Connect with David Mars Websites: tctinstitute.org Facebook: facebook.com/p/Center-for-Transformative-Therapy-100087943999843 Instagram: instagram.com/transformativecouplestherapy/ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/transformative-couples-therapy
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Oct 28, 2025 • 47min

ERP 500: The Practice of Us: Living the Skills That Keep Love Alive

This episode marks an incredible milestone—the 500th episode of the Empowered Relationship Podcast. To celebrate, Dr. Jessica Higgins and her husband, Reid Peterson, sit down for a heartfelt and revealing conversation about what it really takes to cultivate a truly empowered partnership. If you've ever wondered why, despite your best intentions, emotional honesty and vulnerability can feel so risky—or why differences and conflict so often create distance instead of closeness—you're not alone. The path to authentic connection is filled with challenges that test even the strongest relationships. In this special episode, Jessica and Reid open up about the principles and practices that have helped them build a foundation of trust, love, and growth throughout their years together. They share personal stories, practical strategies, and honest reflections on navigating tough conversations, supporting each other's emotional needs, and finding clarity in uncertain times. Whether you're learning to handle conflict, embrace vulnerability, or co-create a meaningful vision for your life together, you'll discover insights and tools to transform relationship challenges into opportunities for deeper connection and lasting love. Episode Highlights 04:58 Building safety and trust through honesty in partnership. 09:15 Jessica shares how vulnerability early in dating deepened their intimacy. 11:47 How honest conversations help reduce shame and strengthen connection. 14:11 How different personalities shape communication in relationships. 19:52 Strategies to navigate conflict with calm and empathy. 35:51 Building clarity, connection, and purpose through joint visioning. 44:08 Strengthening relationships through further exploration and resources. Your Check List of Actions to Take Practice speaking honestly about your core feelings, emotions, and needs—even when it feels risky or uncomfortable. Pause during moments of tension to take a few deep breaths, center yourself, and check in with what you're feeling before responding. When conflict arises, communicate the need for space calmly and agree on a time to revisit the discussion to avoid sweeping issues under the rug. Seek reassurance or a quick check-in from your partner during periods of disconnection to help reduce anxiety and foster trust. Cultivate attuned listening—focus on truly understanding what your partner is expressing beyond the words, and ask clarifying questions when needed. Name whether you're seeking comfort or solutions in conversations, so your partner knows how best to support you. Regularly engage in shared visioning exercises together to clarify mutual values and dreams, and support each other in the process—even when values differ. Download and use the "12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love" guide to gain clarity and practical strategies for your relationship. Mentioned 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free relationship guide) (pdf) Relational Health Assessment (quiz)

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