

Coaching for Leaders
Dave Stachowiak
Leaders aren’t born; they’re made. Many leaders reach points in their careers where what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. This Monday show helps leaders thrive at these key inflection points. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak shares insights from a decade of leading a global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, proven leaders, expert thinkers, and deep conversation have attracted 50 million downloads and over 300,000 followers. Join the FREE membership to search the entire leadership and management library by topic at CoachingforLeaders.com
Episodes
Mentioned books

Aug 28, 2017 • 38min
312: Where Technical People Begin on Leadership, with Jon Lokhorst
Jon Lokhorst: Technical Leaders
Jon Lokhorst is a leadership coach and consultant who partners with CPAs, CFOs, and other leaders who face massive change in their industry and recognize the need for a new model of leadership to navigate those challenges.
Key Points
Leadership development is often neglected in technical fields.
We have a tendency to focus more on our clients’ businesses than our own.
Take a step back and ask yourself, “What are the things that are really important to focus on that aren’t necessarily urgent?”
Resources Mentioned
Jon’s white paper and e-course on professional development
Related Episodes
How to Influence Numerous Stakeholders, with Andy Kaufman (episode 240)
How to Figure Out Your Career, with Scott Anthony Barlow (episode 259)
How to Get Into Leadership Flow, with Croft Edwards (episode 264)
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Aug 21, 2017 • 45min
311: Negotiation Tactics for Results, with Kwame Christian
Kwame Christian: Negotiate Anything
Kwame Christian is a business lawyer and the Director of the American Negotiation Institute. His TEDx Talk, Finding Confidence in Conflict, was the most popular TED Talk on the topic of conflict of 2017.
Today, he’s working extensively with procurement departments within companies to help them make better deals. Kwame hosts the top negotiation podcast, Negotiate Anything and is the author of the book Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life*.
Questions
Margaret asked about how to respond to people when they are asking for a pay raise.
Kim asked about how to encourage an employee to leave the company.
Vivian asked about how to handle a situation where an employee isn’t performing but who has a close relationship with a more senior leader.
Roger asked what wisdom we’d give to leaders on handling tough negotiation situations.
Resources Mentioned
Download Kwame’s Free Guide
Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life* by Kwame Christian
Getting to Yes* by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury
Five Steps to Hold People Accountable with Jonathan Raymond (episode 306)
How to Win Friends and Influence People* by Dale Carnegie
Related Episodes
How to Listen When Someone Is Venting, with Mark Goulston (episode 91)
Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, with Chris Voss (episode 262)
How to Benefit From Conflict, with Susan Gerke (episode 263)
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Aug 14, 2017 • 41min
310: How to Reduce Drama With Kids, with Tina Payne Bryson
Tina Payne Bryson: No Drama Discipline
Tina Payne Bryson is the co-author, with Dan Siegel, of two New York Times bestsellers, The Whole Brain Child* and No Drama Discipline* — each of which has been translated into over twenty languages. She is a psychotherapist and the Executive Director of The Center for Connection in Pasadena, California, where she offers parenting consultations and provides therapy to children and adolescents.
Key Points
Much of what we do in the name of discipline is counter-productive.
The original meaning of the word “discipline” is to teach.
To effectively discipline (to teach kids skills to do better in the future), children have to be in a state of mind in which they can learn.
Consequences can be counter-productive.
If you’re being an effective disciplinarian, you should be disciplining less over time.
“Time-outs” don’t teach kids anything, but taking the time to step away from the situation to talk to your kids does teach.
Resources Mentioned
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind* by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind* by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child* by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Tina Payne Bryson’s website
Book Notes
Download my highlights from No Drama Discipline in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Five Leadership Lessons Learned from Luke (episode 50)
How to Improve Your Coaching Skills with Tom Henschel (episode 190)
The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 284)
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Aug 7, 2017 • 38min
309: How to Help Followers Lead, with Bonni Stachowiak
Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide.
Listener Questions
Michael asked about what you do when you have a follower who has leadership potential but is reluctant to step into leadership shoes.
Steve asked for suggestions on how to get communication out to a team when email isn’t an option.
Michal asked about transitioning military leadership experience to a position in the private sector.
Ricard asked about the discomfort of feeling like you don’t know it all when you’re new in a role.
Resources Mentioned
Radical Candor* by Kim Scott
The Servant as Leader* by by Robert Greenleaf
Scaling Up : How a Few Companies Make It … and Why the Rest Don’t* by Verne Harnish
The 4 Disciplines of Execution* by Chris McChesney, Sean Covey, and Jim Huling
Past Coaching for Leaders episodes on feedback
Turn the Ship Around!* by David Marquet
How to Write a KILLER LinkedIn Profile … And 18 Mistakes to Avoid* by Brenda Bernstein
Related Episodes
The Power Of Servant Leadership, with John Dickson (episode 137)
Where To Start With Succession Planning, with Bill Bliss (episode 153)
The Way to Turn Followers Into Leaders, with David Marquet (episode 241)
How to Support Veterans in Your Workplace, with Eugenia Weiss (episode 280)
How to Write a Killer LinkedIn Profile, with Brenda Bernstein (episode 285)
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Jul 31, 2017 • 43min
308: The Power of Solitude, with Mike Erwin
Mike Erwin: Lead Yourself First
Mike Erwin is the CEO of the Character & Leadership Center and the Founder and President of The Positivity Project, a non-profit organization with the mission to help America’s youth build stronger relationships by recognizing the character strengths in themselves and others. He is the co-author of the book Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude*.
Key Points
Solitude helps both in intense thinking and also in giving the brain a chance to quiet down.
It’s hard to think intensively with a lot going on around you.
Even extroverts can benefit from solitude.
Start small. Just find a few minutes throughout the day to build a habit of solitude.
Social media and solitude can coexist.
The four ways solitude benefits leaders:
Clarity
Creativity
Moral Courage
Emotional Balance
Resources Mentioned
Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude* by Raymond M. Kethledge and Mike Erwin
The Character & Leadership Center
Team Red, White, & Blue
The Positivity Project
Activate Your Free Coaching for Leaders Membership
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Related Episodes
CFL184: Getting Things Done with David Allen
CFL196: Marshall Goldsmith on Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts
CFL211: How to Be Present and Productive
CFL214: Stop Worrying and Start Living
Next Episode
Bonni and I return for the monthly question and answer show. Submit your question for consideration next week or for the first question and answer show the first Monday of every month at http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback

Jul 24, 2017 • 44min
307: How to Make Inclusion Happen, with Deepa Purushothaman
Deepa Purushothaman: Inclusion at Deloitte
Deepa Purushothaman is a National Managing Principal of Inclusion at Deloitte. She speaks extensively about Deloitte’s focus on women and has been featured at national conferences and in publications like Bloomberg and Harvard Business Review.
Key Points
You don’t have to always do things they way they’ve been done before — you can find a new way that is authentic to you.
As society evolves, companies need to think about how they provide inclusion for their employees.
People are less worried about seeing a diverse leadership team than they are about feeling like they belong.
Individuals need to feel a sense of belonging and connection.
Inclusion is starting to play an important role in talent acquisition and retention.
One of the biggest mistakes is not knowing where to start and then doing nothing.
Employees join and leave companies based on whether or not there is an inclusive culture.
Resources Mentioned
Responding When Your Expertise Is Challenged
Deepa Purushothaman on Twitter
Related Episodes
How to Handle Workplace Bullying, with Jill Morgenthaler (episode 172)
How Women Make Stronger, Smarter Choices, with Therese Huston (episode 255)
How to Help the Underdog Thrive, with Terry Lipovski (episode 275)
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39 snips
Jul 17, 2017 • 43min
306: Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond
Jonathan Raymond, founder of Refound, shares the 5 steps of the 'Accountability Dial' - from 'The Mention' to 'The Limit'. He emphasizes the importance of personal caring for effective accountability. Micromanagement focuses on tasks, but accountability focuses on relationships and growth through productive discomfort. He teaches a common language around accountability that works for almost everyone.

Jul 10, 2017 • 43min
305: How to Deal With the Diminishers, with Liz Wiseman
Liz Wiseman: Multipliers
Liz Wiseman has been listed on the Thinkers50 ranking and named as one of the top 10 leadership thinkers in the world and recipient of the 2016 ATD Champion of Talent Award. She is the author of three best-selling books, including Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter*.
Key Points
Some leaders make the people around them less capable.
Leaders who diminish others get less than half of their capabilities.
Diminishing often comes from good intentions.
Leadership is a skill you can learn.
A good boss sees the genius in others.
Find a way to let your boss know what you’re best at.
By admitting our own mistakes, we create an environment where others are willing to take risks.
Ask yourself how you might be shutting down people’s ideas and capabilities.
Resources Mentioned
Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter (revised and updated)* by Liz Wiseman
Related Episodes
How to Engage With Humor, with David Nihill (episode 245)
The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 284)
What Gets Between You and Greatness, with Lolly Daskal (episode 296)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Jul 3, 2017 • 43min
304: How to Change Behavior, with Bonni Stachowiak
Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.
Questions
Kristi asked about how to consistently apply what she’s learning from the show until new habits become unconscious behaviors.
Kimberly asked for advice on how to handle a situation where she is co-managing a team.
Bar asked about the best ways to navigate imposter syndrome.
Jonny asked about avoiding career moves that may be motivated only by status or money.
Resources Mentioned
7 Ways to Maximize Misery
The Power of Habit* by Charles Duhigg
Radical Candor* by Kim Scott
Why Is Authenticity So Hard and How Can You Be The Best Kind of Real? – Chris Brogan
Tom Henschel Interviews Dave (episode 300)
Coaching for Leaders Academy
Cars 3
Very Bad Wizards
Related Episodes
The Way to Make New Behaviors Stick, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 196)
The Best Way to Make New Habits Reality, with Kendra Kinnison (episode 217)
How to Challenge Directly and Care Personally, with Kim Scott (episode 302)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Jun 26, 2017 • 44min
303: The Way to Inspire Ownership, with Pete Mockaitis
Pete Mockaitis: How to Be Awesome at Your Job
Pete Mockaitis is the host of the How to be Awesome at Your Job podcast, regularly listed as a top careers show on Apple podcasts.
Key Points
Your sense of ownership in your work can have huge consequences in how well things unfold.
Self-efficacy has a large effect on your sense of ownership in your work.
Try to connect the job someone is doing with the overall mission of the organization.
The effects of micromanaging can be disastrous for an organization.
When delegating a job, think about the critical components of the job and what you want the result to be, then let employees get the job done however they see fit.
Delegation doesn’t have to be an all-in-one-shot type of thing, it can be done in stages.
Steps to delegating:
Watch me do this
Help me do this
Let’s do this together
I’ll help you do this
I’ll watch you do this.
Resources Mentioned
Albert Bandura
The 80/20 Principle* by Richard Koch
Essentialism* by Greg McKeown
The ONE Thing* Gary Keller Jay Papasan
Arthur Woods podcast episode
Jeff McManus podcast episode
Financial Intelligence* by Joe Knight
Improve Your Financial Intelligence, with Joe Knight (episode 244)
Episodes from the How to be Awesome at Your Job podcast that may be of value to your team:
Increasing Confidence by Increasing Self-Awareness with Dr. Tasha Eurich
Making Stress Work for You with Dr. Melanie Greenberg
Overcoming Self-limiting Beliefs with R. Michael Anderson
Honing Your Persuasive Skills with Kwame Christian
Communicating with Inspiration and Clarity with Mawi Asgedom
Related Episodes
The Seven Steps You Follow To Delegate Work (episode 117)
The Four Stories Leaders Need For Influence, with David Hutchens (episode 148)
How to Challenge Directly and Care Personally, with Kim Scott (episode 302)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.


