The One You Feed

Charlie Gilkey is the author of Start Finishing: How To Go From Idea To Done. An Army veteran and near Ph.D. in philosophy, Charlie is the founder of Productive Flourishing, a company that helps professional creatives, leaders, and change-makers take meaningful action on work matters. He’s widely cited in outlets such as Inc. Magazine, Time, Forbes, The Guardian, Life Hacker and more and his work will help you discover the path from the ideas in your head to the actions you take in your daily life and the way you live out your values – and most importantly how to go about getting things done.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Charlie Gilkey and I Discuss Getting Things Done and … His book, Start Finishing: How To Go From Idea To Done How kindness towards others often brings out the best in everyone The Tao Te Ching Focusing on your input and letting go of the results Why finishing is so important That we only get mastery from finishing things, not halfway doing them We don’t just improve by thinking about things, we improve by doing them Creative constipation breeds toxicity  We’re either creating something or destroying something We don’t do ideas, we do projects How it feels good to think about our ideas How doing our best work is often really hard The myth: if it’s meant to be for us, it’s supposed to be easy That when you start something you’re not as good at it as you want to be and it takes time to and effort to get better The myth that if it doesn’t come easy for you, you shouldn’t do it Doing something until you’re good enough at it to decide whether or not you want to continue doing it The 5 things that get in the way of doing our best work Head Trash: Doesn’t matter if a thought is true or not – it matters if we believe it or not The problem with automatically believing our thoughts How discipline limits decision fatigue Action expresses priority Being sick isn’t a character defect – how you respond to it matters That big life changes take life force and energy in order for us to respond to and deal with them and that’s life force that we can’t put towards other things – and that’s ok Charlie Gilkey Links:productiveflourishing.comTwitterFacebookEverlyWell: Offers more than 35 at-home lab tests with super easy to follow instructions. Results are processed in a certified lab and reviewed by board-certified physicians and are then sent directly to you within days. The EverlyWell digital platform helps break down exactly what your results mean for you plus you can also set up a free discussion with a healthcare professional to discuss them. To start learning more about your health, go to everlywell.com/wolf and enter promo code WOLF for 15% off your testPhlur – Eric created his own sampler set that you can try! Get this curated sampler set or create your own. Get 20% off your first 3 Phlur samples at Phlur.com/wolfCalm: The #1 rated app for meditation. They have meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. www.calm.com/wolf 25% off a Calm Premium SubscriptionIf you enjoyed this conversation with Charlie Gilkey on getting things done, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Chris BaileyDavid KadavyTim PychylSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mark Henick has appeared in hundreds of television segments and countless more radio, print and online features about mental health. Mark’s TedTalk, “Why We Choose Suicide”, is among the most-watched in the world with over 6 million views. In this episode, he tells Eric about his experience with attempts at suicide, relapsing depression and getting skillful with finding meaning and living his life. This isn’t just a broad discussion on suicide and depression – there are real, practical techniques and approaches that can be applied to life today, no matter your circumstances, to create meaning, fulfillment, and yes, even joy. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Mark Henick and I Discuss Suicide, Depression, and… The duality of life and death Mental Health and Suicide His suicidality at 12 years old The message he got that he couldn’t talk about suicide The complete stranger who saved him from jumping from a bridge at night – physically holding on to him His realization that he didn’t have to be the suffering boy he was, he could be the stranger that helped him…that his life could be different The myth that if you talk about suicide it will give people the idea to do it The right way and wrong way to talk about suicide and depression How freeing it is to talk about something When others told him they could relate to his story of suicide and depression His recovery through a newfound sense of purpose The healthier relationships he pursued Getting clear about boundaries The toxic masculinity he was surrounded by as a child Not having the language to express the feelings he had The perceptual field and increasing your options by getting uncomfortable. How depression limits the options you can see  Broadening of perception and expansion as a part of awakening Something good can come from most painful situations; It’s in the lens you take and the work that you do. His depression and social anxiety disorder The danger in an avoidant coping strategy as well as the flaws of perfectionism. Realizing the cross you bear can change into meaning and how to turn your struggle into something good. Getting good at re-lapsing with his depression His misguided thought that he was failing at getting better Learning to trust himself AND learning not to believe every one of his thoughts The truth: This too shall pass (the more you cling to it the longer it takes to pass) How depression hates a moving target Mark Henick Links:markhenick.comTed Talk: “Why We Choose Suicide”TwitterFacebookTalkspace:  the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month.Daily Harvest – Delivers absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get $25 off your first box go to www.dailyharvest.com and enter promo code: FEEDSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This mini episode is about the tactical and emotional aspects of changing behavior.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sarah Shockley is a multiple award-winning producer and director of educational films including Dancing From the Inside Out, a highly acclaimed documentary on disabled dance. Sarah is the author of a number of books on living with chronic pain, including the one discussed in this episode, The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living with and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Sarah Shockley and I Discuss Living with Chronic Pain and… Her book, The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living with and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain How it’s hard for us to heal when we’re in a battle with pain The good wolf aspect of pain Feeding into healing vs feeding in living with chronic pain Her experience with debilitating pain The many components of chronic pain – in addition to the physical component How isolating chronic pain can be  Chronic emotional pain Seeing pain differently Turning towards pain and asking it, “What could positively be your positive purpose here?” What you resist persists Becoming partners with your pain Thinking of pain as the voice of something within you that wants to be healed Creating a different relationship with pain We lock pain in place when we get into a resistant mode Giving pain a lot of space Breathing into the pain The messages that pain brought her Asking pain, “What do you need?” How her life has been transformed by changing her relationship and experience with chronic pain That she wrote the book she wished she had been given in the midst of her struggle with pain That being seen in your pain can be the beginning of healing Living with chronic pain and what she imagined her pain looking like Sarah Shockley Links:thepaincompanion.comFacebookYouTubeDoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLFThe Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get 3 months of unlimited access to their entire library for just $30. www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolfIf you enjoyed this conversation with Sarah Shockley on living with chronic pain, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Toni BernhardMichael GalinskySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Eric Kaufmann guides leaders to make better decisions and achieve better results. He has consulted for hundreds of leaders including executives and team leaders at Sony, TMobile, Genentec and Alcon Labs just to name a few. He is the founder of Sagatica Inc and he serves on the board of the San Diego Zen Center. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his work of teaching conscious leadership in the workplace.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Eric Kaufmann and I Discuss… How he interacts with his shadow side The key to not making a situation worse His practice of refrain and return Conscious leadership Unrelenting commitment to results with an unwavering regard for spirit What someone says they want vs what they need The courage it takes to say no The 3 building blocks of our egoic state The 3 pillars of being a conscious person Wisdom = mistakes + time Wisdom = Seeing below the surface and beyond the obvious That being wise means being present and aware How cultivating wisdom is a practice and how humor cultivates wisdom. Courage is walking toward what you want to walk away from Have the courage to Speak Up, Care, Commit How sarcasm can be a mask of fear Bringing the weird How it takes energy to withhold Love is wanting to do well for others Love is expansive, inclusive, and connective The things that get in the way of love Eric Kaufmann Links:sagatica.comFacebookInstagramYouTubeCalm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with many One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium SubscriptionThe Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get 3 months of unlimited access to their entire library for just $30. www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Brent Williams suffered for a long time from depression and anxiety and during that time he kept a journal about his thoughts, feelings, and experiences. That journal has now been turned in to a beautiful graphic novel called, Out Of The Woods: A Journey Through Depression and Anxiety. In this episode, Brent and Eric use his story as a jumping-off point to discuss how depression can show up in your life and how you can realistically, practically, and effectively find your way out of it.Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Brent Williams and I Discuss… His book, Out Of The Woods: A Journey Through Depression and Anxiety How subtle depression can be in your life – permeating everything  All the things he went to as a diagnosis before he admitted it was depression he was suffering from His resistance to taking depression medication How he watched his father take medication for anxiety and how it changed him His resistance to taking help from others His experience in therapy The metaphor of depression medication being a life preserver but you still have to swim back to shore The components of self-care: eat well, exercise, be with people, be outside, get support, stop ruminating, proper sleep How fundamental good nutrition is when it comes to mental well being Doing small and manageable things when you’re depressed How the reward mechanism in your brain isn’t working properly when you’re depressed How it took him a while to find the right therapist  The potential danger of meditating when depressed That mindfulness meditation was the form of meditating that helped him most The impact of keeping a mood chart – seeing a pattern that you can’t see at the time That sometimes you just have to push yourself over the hurdle of doing things that are good for you when you don’t feel like doing them Looking at your activities to assess your mental wellbeing Depression showing up as irritability in men Brent Williams Links:outofthewoods.co.nz **Special Offer** for The One You Feed listeners! Buy 1 Book, Get 1 Free to give to a friend, family member or a community center!FacebookTwitterPhlur – Eric created his own sampler set that you can try! Get this curated sampler set or create your own. Get 20% off your first 3 Phlur samples at Phlur.com/wolfFabFitFun – A women’s lifestyle subscription box filled with full-size premium items that you will love. Eric’s girlfriend is honestly obsessed because the items in this box are just so good. Give yourself this gift – use the promo code FEED for $10 off your first box at fabfitfun.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, and an internationally recognized leader in the field of couple interventions. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant University in San Diego, California, as well as Professor Emeritus, Clinical Psychology, at the University of Ottawa, Canada. In this interview, Dr. Sue Johnson discuss her best selling book, “Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” and her groundbreaking research of helping couples to enhance, repair, and keep their relationship.   Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Dr. Sue Johnson and I Discuss… Her book, Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love The wolf parable and how therapists act as the third wolf for couples. Relationships are often stuck in fear and anger Emotional disconnection causes distress in relationships. Humans are wired for close connection with others. Attachment needs continue into adulthood, most notably in romantic relationships. Common conversations in distressed relationships are known as “demon dialogues”. Relationships stuck in predictable patterns is referred to as the “Protest Polka”. “Freeze and Flee” means one person gives up on the relationship.  “Find the Bad Guy” in other words, "It’s not me, it’s you”  Understanding the circle of criticism, or the “dance” you’re stuck in. Learning to blame this “dance” rather than each other.   The “hold me tight conversation” that creates safety in the relationship. Understanding the negative cycle that causes disconnection. Creating a positive cycle by creating a secure bond “ARE” – Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement. Talking about fears rather than acting on them leads to bonding. Emotional connection in a relationship is a source of joy and strength. Dr. Sue Johnson Links: drsuejohnson.com Twitter Facebook TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month. DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer, speaker, and host of the weekly Psych Central show who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. His new book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. You’ll be captivated by Gabe’s story as he tells it – it’s compelling, relatable, inspiring, and educational. Whether or not you have bipolar disorder or another mental illness, chances are you know someone or some people who do and so this is an important episode to listen to – you’ll deepen your understanding of what it means to live with mental illness. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Gabe Howard and I Discuss… His book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations What bipolar disorder is (and isn’t) and how it shows up in his life His compelling story The myth that people with mental illness come from bad families When he went to the ER because of suicidal thoughts How he defines recovery: spending more time living life than managing his bipolar disorder The 4 years he spent in a battle with his mental illness How you have to learn what works for you – and how that takes time The role of medication in the treatment of mental illness How it stings when your body lets you down Eric’s experience taking and not taking medication for his depression Whole health wellness Suicide Don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem How suicide doesn’t end the pain – it transfers it to someone else Gabe Howard Links:gabehoward.comTwitterFacebookSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi Everyone!Here is a mini episode that was made for our Patreon members called A Teaching, a Song, and a Poem (and sometimes a bad joke!)Teaching: We Can Always Grow and ChangePoem: The Trees- Philip LarkinSong: Tomorrow- James If you'd like to get one of these every week, you can become a member of our community by going to oneyoufeed.net/joinBy supporting and joining The One You Feed Community, you'll get access to: A Teaching, a Song, and a Poem mini episodes Post Show Conversations Ad Free Episodes and more! Your support is greatly appreciated!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lauren Zander is a life coach, university lecturer, public speaker and co-founder and chairwoman of The Handel Group. Her book, Maybe It's You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life is what she and Eric discuss in this episode. Lauren has an incredibly useful approach to uncovering your limiting inner dialogue so that you can truly catapult yourself forward in life. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait - there's more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It's that simple and we'll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Lauren Zander and I Discuss... Her book, Maybe It's You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life. Getting conscious of the unconscious parts of yourself Her life-changing moment at 19 How much of what is plaguing a person is in their inner dialogue The strategist in your head That over 80% of our thoughts are negative and repeating from the day before The chicken, the brat, the weather reporter Keeping promises to yourself Integrity and spirituality Consequences Accountability Lauren Zander Links:handelgroup.comTwitterFacebookFabFitFun: FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box delivered 4 times a year with full-sized beauty, fashion, home, fitness, and wellness products for just $49.99 a box - though the box is valued at more than $200. Eric's girlfriend is honestly obsessed. You don't want to miss the upcoming fall box. Use the code FEED to get $10 off your first box www.fabfitfun.comWestin - their reason for being is to help you travel well - eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.