The Modern Phoenix
Gervase Kolmos
The Modern Phoenix (formerly “It’s All Me”)
In a culture that values logic, urgency, perfection, and sameness, The Modern Phoenix walks a different path: one that honors her unique mind, body and soul.
Between information overload, the demands of modern life, and lifetimes of conditioning and “shoulds”, it can feel hard for a woman to know and listen to her own wants and needs. We’re so busy caring and doing and anticipating and managing that we forget ourselves. We hope there’s a better, more balanced, life-giving and feminine way to be a modern woman—to have regulated nervous systems, intuitive solutions to complex problems, and the distinct trust in ourselves and our choices, despite life’s curveballs, but we’re not sure where to start.
That’s where I come in. I’m Gervase Kolmos, Inner Transformation Coach and phoenix-in-evolution. I help women learn to trust themselves and be guided by their own inner authority to live with pleasure, authenticity and embodied wisdom.
This podcast is my mission and my mantra: you are light and dark, thinking and feeling, perfect and a work-in-progress. Together, we’ll unlock your intuition, tap into the wisdom and resources of your body, and navigate this confusing, demanding, gorgeous life.
So let’s burn down the stories, conditioning and beliefs that don’t serve us, shall we?
In a culture that values logic, urgency, perfection, and sameness, The Modern Phoenix walks a different path: one that honors her unique mind, body and soul.
Between information overload, the demands of modern life, and lifetimes of conditioning and “shoulds”, it can feel hard for a woman to know and listen to her own wants and needs. We’re so busy caring and doing and anticipating and managing that we forget ourselves. We hope there’s a better, more balanced, life-giving and feminine way to be a modern woman—to have regulated nervous systems, intuitive solutions to complex problems, and the distinct trust in ourselves and our choices, despite life’s curveballs, but we’re not sure where to start.
That’s where I come in. I’m Gervase Kolmos, Inner Transformation Coach and phoenix-in-evolution. I help women learn to trust themselves and be guided by their own inner authority to live with pleasure, authenticity and embodied wisdom.
This podcast is my mission and my mantra: you are light and dark, thinking and feeling, perfect and a work-in-progress. Together, we’ll unlock your intuition, tap into the wisdom and resources of your body, and navigate this confusing, demanding, gorgeous life.
So let’s burn down the stories, conditioning and beliefs that don’t serve us, shall we?
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jul 8, 2024 • 33min
144. How to Access More Pleasure as a High-Performing Woman
On this week’s solo episode of the I AM podcast, Gervase reminds high performing women - like you - of the transformative power of taking time to smell the metaphorical roses, and how it could actually be the most productive move you make in your entire life. Listen in as she shares what healing looks like when we pause and pendulate between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, discusses the challenges of slowing down in our speed-incentivized modern world, and how the practice of prioritizing your wellbeing and accessing pleasure can help you feel safe in your body, leading to a more resourced and productive life. If you’re ready to start embracing pleasure and self-discovery, while learning to regulate and resource your nervous system, listen in now! (and check out the upcoming masterclass below!) NEW! Upcoming Masterclass July 17th - Summer of Pleasure: This Summer’s assignment? Stop and smell the F*ing roses. Less thinking. More feeling. Read more here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/summer-of-pleasure Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com Resources: 142: The Path to Secure Attachment (Even If You're Anxious) with Carly Turner - It's All Me | Podcast on Spotify
Jul 1, 2024 • 34min
143: Partnerships the Phoenix Way: How to Cultivate Compassion, Agency, and Pleasure
On this solo episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase shares her personal insights on partnership, co-creating safety and trust within your relationship to ask for what you need, and the importance of resourcing and living a life you love as individuals as well as a couple. She shares her personal journey of navigating a 14 year marriage through smooth sailing and rough waters, how she and her husband practice recognizing and letting go of victim-mentality behavior and taking radical self-responsibility, and how these practices cultivate more passion and pleasure in their relationship. If you’re feeling like you need support in your own relationship journey, keep listening for an invitation to walk the Phoenix path with Gervase, creating resource and safety within your own nervous system and within your relationships. NEW! Upcoming Masterclass July 17th - Summer of Pleasure: This Summer’s assignment? Stop and smell the F*ing roses. Less thinking. More feeling. Read more here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/summer-of-pleasure Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework Work with Gervase Book a Soul Shift Intensive: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive Resources: 133: How to Ask For What You Want (at Work) Pt 1 - It's All Me | Podcast on Spotify 135: How to Ask For What You Want (at Home) Pt 2 - It's All Me | Podcast on Spotify 134: Understanding Childhood Trauma that Doesn’t Feel Like Trauma with Chelsea Green (replay) - It's All Me | Podcast on Spotify
Jun 24, 2024 • 51min
142: The Path to Secure Attachment (Even If You're Anxious) with Carly Turner
This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase sits down with Carly Turner, certified CBT & Somatic Attachment Therapist, as they discuss anxious attachment, how it impacts all areas of life, and Carly’s personal path toward secure attachment. They dive into the possible roots of anxious attachment, and the importance of self-reflection, curiosity, and compassion along the journey to secure attachment. If you’re ready to stop being hijacked by your emotions and lost in the chaotic behavior that follows, listen for practices you can implement outside of triggered moments to cultivate more peace and trust within your system and relationships, as well as ways to ground and resource yourself in moments of triggering uncertainty. Connect with Carly Turner: https://www.instagram.com/carly.ann_ Attachment Recovery Gym: https://carly-ann.mykajabi.com/attachment-recovery-gym NEW! Upcoming Masterclass July 17th - Summer of Pleasure: This Summer’s assignment? Stop and smell the F*ing roses. Less thinking. More feeling. Read more here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/summer-of-pleasure Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com
Jun 17, 2024 • 24min
141: Joy is a Really Good Reason (Replay)
What is your relationship to joy? For a lot of modern women wearing multiple hats and feeling responsible for all sorts of projects and people, joy is the first thing they take off their list when life starts to feel too chaotic. On this episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase talks about reconnecting to joy without the ‘shoulds’ and shame, why doing the work to get to joy is worth having tough conversations, and how joy can be a great motivator to lead the lives we desire. After all, joy is a really good reason to create and live a life we love. In this episode Gervase dives into: [01:24] Addressing the root causes of our discomfort and dissatisfaction to find peace and joy in our hot mess moments [08:56] How joy can be our source of fuel for the things we want to do in life (aka Why cleaning your house isn’t bringing you the calm you’re looking for) [11:30] How we’ve been conditioned to believe our joy is inconvenient and what we can do to claim it for ourselves Free Bonus Resources: Get instant access to the Joyful AF Masterclass + custom hypnosis track: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/joyful-af Connect with G on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Work with G: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/phoenix-coaching
Jun 10, 2024 • 45min
140: Pillow Talk: Reconnecting to Sensuality in Partnership with Sex Therapist Dr. Viviana
This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase reintroduces relationship and sex therapist Dr. Viviana, who shares how she uses her 20 years of experience to help couples cultivate an underlying current of sensuality in their relationships. Gervase and Dr. Viviana discuss ways to create a sexy environment outside of the bedroom, why some of us struggle with activating our sexuality, and how the right dance of sensuality and sexuality can create a long lasting sex life with our partners. Listen in to discover what is lurking behind the typical quantity and quality arguments between couples, Dr. Viviana’s secret to keeping the spark alive, and to hear a permission slip so liberating that it could change your ability to tap into your own current of sensuality. Don’t miss Dr. Viviana’s free masterclass happening TODAY (6/10)! Click the link below to register. Connect with Dr. Viviana: Free Pillow Talk Masterclass TODAY (6/10/24): https://doctorviviana.com/register/ Dr. Viviana Coles- The Intimacy Expert (@doctorviviana) • Instagram Save 10% on coaching packages til June 6th: Check it out here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/phoenix-coaching Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com Resources: I AM connected to my partner and sexually satisfied with Dr. Viviana Coles - It's All Me | Podcast on Spotify
Jun 3, 2024 • 1h 11min
139: The Black Sheep's Journey: Understanding Generational Trauma with Nick Werber
This week on the podcast, Gervase introduces us to her mentor Nick Werber from the Focalizing Institute, as they discuss generational trauma patterns and how they can shape our childhood, adulthood, and even influence parenting practices. Nick shares specifically how family dynamics create outsider roles like the scapegoat and black sheep of the family and why we need these nonconformists. Listen in as Gervase and Nick share their personal experiences with these outsider roles, and how they and others who have been handed these (at times) trauma-fueled titles can utilize the practice of Focalizing to begin move the needle forward, redefine themselves from an internal place without needing external validation, and even make cycle-breaking a bit easier for the next generation. Connect with Nick: Nick Werber - nicknwerber.comNick Werber | Integrative Coach (@nickwerber_) • Instagram Join Nick's 'Other' workshop series Save 10% on coaching packages til June 6th: Check it out here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/phoenix-coaching Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com Resources: G | Integrative Coach (@gervasekolmos) • Instagram photos and videos
May 28, 2024 • 50min
138: Creating Safety, Trust AND Boundaries with Your Kids with Destini Davis and Kiva Schuler
Join G and her guests Destini and Kiva this week on the IAM podcast as they have an in-depth discussion about peaceful parenting and the work necessary to make it a reality. Listen in as they discuss how the trending 'doormat’ version of peaceful parenting being highlighted on social media can actually be harmful to your child, why it’s vital to start with your own behavior and beliefs as a parent, and how you can create a bank of trust and openness with your child by avoiding overparenting. If you’re ready to carve a new path of parenting that creates safety, trust, and opens you and your child up for more resource, love, and true collaboration, listen in now! Connect with Destini and Kiva: The Jai Institute for ParentingDestini Davis | Instagram NEW Phoenix Coaching: BRAND new, straight out of the fire programming. Check it out here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/phoenix-coaching Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com Resources: G | Integrative Coach (@gervasekolmos) • Instagram photos and videos
May 20, 2024 • 26min
137: It’s Not Okay, And I’m Okay
In this week’s solo episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase walks us through her lived experience of resourcing and holding space for the duality of being okay in the midst of chaos or stress without shame or blame. Listen in as she talks about acknowledging the range of your experience by feeling your feelings fully without judgment, why you don’t need to skip to the silver lining, and how to notice when you are gaslighting yourself. Keep listening to hear how to create safety within yourself, to resource and heal in community without putting the obligation on someone else, and how her trauma-informed practice of focalizing helps her and her clients heal themselves, their lineages, and honor all felt emotions - even when life is not okay. Join the Phoenix Revolution (10% off until 6/6/24!) BRAND new, straight out of the fire programming. Check it out here before the one and only discount I’ll ever offer expires: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/phoenix-coaching Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework Private Coaching Spots Open: Book a Soul Shift Intensive to apply: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com Resources: G | Integrative Coach (@gervasekolmos) • Instagram photos and videos
May 13, 2024 • 32min
136: Self Regulation Is My Family's Way Of Life. Here's Why
On this week’s solo episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase discusses how she reverse-engineered bad parenting advice and used it as inspiration for her family’s practice of self-regulation. Listen in as she shares how we can navigate the challenges and lies that we’ve been sold by modern Mother Culture, why it’s vital that you honor your own nervous system, and some tangible, practical ways she resources herself all day long (and how you can too!). If you’re ready to step out of reactionary, fight or flight parenting and start feeling resourced when the waves of life try to drag you under, to be the rock that your child can coregulate to, listen to this episode now. Join the Phoenix Revolution (10% off until 6/6/24!) BRAND new, straight out of the fire programming. Check it out here before the one and only discount I’ll ever offer expires: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/phoenix-coaching Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework Private Coaching Spots Open: Book a Soul Shift Intensive to apply: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com Resources: G | Integrative Coach (@gervasekolmos) • Instagram photos and videos
May 6, 2024 • 43min
135: How to Ask For What You Want (at Home) Pt 2
In this second half of a two-part series, Gervase shines a light on how to get what you want at home. Using two highly common archetypes of women who aren’t currently getting their wants or needs met in the home, Gervase shares why this isn’t “just the way it is” and how you can take back your agency and embrace your power to evolve your life into a reflection of who you are on the inside. Listen in for the sneaky beliefs that are keeping you small, how accepting a life of not getting what you want can manifest into other symptoms in your life, why being needless and wantless is actually hurting your family, and so many more valuable insights (Seriously grab a pen). Keep listening for real-time practices of having grace for your current self and the shifts you can make to start getting what you want out of your home life. Join the Phoenix Revolution BRAND new, straight out of the fire programming. Check it out here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/phoenix-coaching Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Get my weekly emails: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/free-framework Private Coaching Spots Open: Book a Soul Shift Intensive to apply: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive *If you'd like to invite Gervase into your company to facilitate coaching or conversation to shift company culture, please email us at hi@gervasekolmos.com Resources: 133: How to Ask For What You Want (at Work) Pt 1 - It's All Me Mary Magdalene Revealed: Amazon.com: Books
