Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Gabby has been a close friend for over a decade. We “grew up” together in the personal growth field and I have seen first hand her professional success skyrocket. I also know the incredible amount of inner work she has done that has influenced all aspects of her life and made the inspiring leader she is today. Gabrielle Bernstein is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of The Universe Has Your Back and has written four additional best sellers. She was featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday as a “next-generation thought leader,” and The New York Times named her “a new role model.” She appears regularly as an expert on The Dr. Oz Show and co-hosted the Guinness World Record largest guided meditation with Deepak Chopra. In our chat on Coaches Corner we talk about her training “Spirit Junkie Master Class” which teaches both the inner and outer work that is necessary to get your message out into the world. You can access the FREE training videos she is offering here: http://bit.ly/2sfG00b I am a proud partner for her upcoming course, stay tuned to hear about my VERY special bonuses

This episode is about removing inner blocks and eliminating blind spots. Today’s caller, Jon, is struggling with how his business is structured and the people he is hiring. He thought he was calling for some practical how-tos but the call went in a slightly different direction. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode92] To shift our outer experience we must look inward first. So often we attempt to figure it out. We try to find solutions to our problems with our mind, and look for the actions to take to fix something. But in doing so we miss the incredible chance to look within and extract the learning opportunity from the situation. My coaching to Jon was about getting him out of his head and more into his heart. There was no issue with his accountability or drive; the block was more about how he was perceiving himself and his situation. Whenever you are presented with a challenge, or when things in your life feel off or aren’t going the way you want, ask “What is the message?” and “What am I learning?” Answers become clear when we stop mentalizing everything so much. When we are attempting to figure things out on our own, it’s more challenging to get a new insight. The spiritual definition of a miracle is a change in perception. My Inner Circle Membership Community is an easy way for you to find like-minded people and get more access to me and my coaching. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to ask about membership. And, don’t miss my Coaches Corner episodes. There is new content every Saturday.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is there a situation you can't seem to figure out? ● Are you an entrepreneur, business leader, or manager who would like to be better at making money and managing people? ● Do you think sales is a dirty word? If selling is part of your job, do you resist it? ● Do you have a clear vision of your why? Do you know why you do what you do, and do you feel passionate about it? Jon’s Question: Jon is finding it difficult to find the right people for his business and would like to find a remedy. Jon’s Key Insights and Ahas: ● He finds sales frustrating. ● Rejection is a pain point for him. ● He understands the fear of survival. ● He hasn’t connected his freelancers to his why. ● He keeps himself protected from rejection. ● He will make his people feel like they are part of a team. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should focus more on his clients and enroll them into his why. ● He should find out why his freelancers want to work with him. ● He should consider how he has bridged gaps in the past. ● He should become less transactional and lean into connection. ● He should consider himself more of a leader and less of an executor. Action Steps: ● If you’re stuck or challenged in any area of your life, how can you look at it from a different perspective? Stop trying to figure it out and be curious. Explore different ways of approaching it. ● What’s your avoidance trap? Is it rejection? What do you spend so much time avoiding, that you are not focusing enough time on bringing in the things you want? ● If you are in sales, is there something you need to shift, in terms of your perception of it? Do you need to become more enrolling instead of just selling? Sponsor: Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community — This month’s focus is sexuality and sexiness. Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com

This is A MUST LISTEN for anyone on the personal growth path!!  Listen in to a juicy conversation with Danielle about her latest book, White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path from one seeker to another.  Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s inaugural Super Soul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.”  She is author of The Fire Starters Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner and journal system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries.  Danielle’s website: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/ Get your copy of “White Hot Truth”: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/whitehottruth/  

This episode is about being able to accept love.  Today’s caller, Samantha is in a new loving relationship but has anxiety about it which is causing her to push her partner away. Ultimately, she fears she will sabotage the relationship. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode91] When we lack self-love and acceptance we doubt our own lovability. When what we really want is coming to us we get scared and push it away, because we doubt our own lovability. When we doubt our own lovability it makes us do some sabotaging things when it comes to relationships. I gave Samantha some practical behavioral shifts, because awareness alone does not create change. If we think our past is part of who we are, we will never be truly free of it. We need to get the point where we realize the past is the past. It happened but it doesn’t have to be who we are. Many times when we have a difficult experience in our past, we hold on to it because having it gets us pity, love, compassion, and attention from others. On an unconscious level, we hang on to it because we think it is how we can get compassion and be connected to people. When we hold on to our story too much, it gets us in a trap of consistently attempting to heal the past, rather than make the behavioral choices that create what we want in the present and for the future. Eventually, you have to drop the story. You’ll notice I used a tough-love approach when coaching Samantha. To understand why I did it and the profound shifts that can occur because of it, check out my Coaches Corner — Tough Love and People who Have Helped Me in Profound Ways.  In last week’s Coaches Corner, I interviewed my friend Amanda Steinberg, author of Worth It. The episode is about embracing your relationship with money. And, don’t miss this week’s Coaches Corner with thought leader Danielle Laporte. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you want love, especially in the form of a romantic relationship, but it scares you? ● Are you in a romantic relationship now, and engaging in sabotaging behavior? ● Have you talked about your past and your story, but things aren’t shifting for you? Is the anxiety you feel about being in a relationship still there? ● Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone to break some patterns? Even if it’s scary? Samantha’s Question: Samantha would like to know how to be free of the fear and anxiety she is feeling in her new relationship. Samantha’s Key Insights and Ahas: ● She’s afraid of being hurt. ● She puts up a wall and shuts down when speaking with her new partner. ● She is trying to protect herself. ● She still identifies with her story. ● She is giving the people from her past too much power in her current life. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She needs to go back and deal with her past. ● To move to the next phase she needs to change her behavior. ● She should do release writing when instead of zoning out. ● She needs to understand she is not alone. ● She needs to do the opposite of her current conditioned response.   Action Steps: ● Take a look at your old story about love; write it out. What are you still carrying around from your past, you keep playing out? Make a list of the things you think are protecting you. ● It’s time to break patterns and shift your behaviors. You have to lean in and get a little uncomfortable, if you want change to happen. Sponsor: ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover Coaches Corner — Tough Love  Inner Circle Membership Community — This month’s focus is sexuality and sexiness. Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com

Christine talks to Amanda about how to shift your relationship with money so that you can get out of debt and/or over spending and build a secure financial foundation.  This is a must listen for anyone who wants to be more prosperous. More about Amanda . . .  Amanda Steinberg launched DailyWorth in 2009 to bring a fresh voice and an outsider's perspective to personal finance. Today, DailyWorth’s newsletter reaches more than 1 million subscribers. In 2015, she started digital investing service, WorthFM, which received front-page coverage in The New York Times Business section Oprah selected her to the exclusive SuperSoul 100, and Forbes named her one of 21 New American Money Masters. Amanda has also appeared on GMA, Today, CNN, and MSNBC. She’s also the author of Worth It: Your Life, Your Money, Your Terms released in February 2017.  https://www.dailyworth.com/

  This episode is about helping people instead of being a savior. Candace is a health practitioner suffering from work-related anxiety. She is wondering how to decrease the amount of anxiety that comes from feeling responsible for helping people, and she questions whether or not she is good enough to truly help them. We cover why we should not take on the responsibility of helping others, why it’s important to be of service, and not a savior, and what is truly at the root of a desire to help or save others. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode90] I asked Candace why she worked in a health and service position. She said it makes her feel she has a purpose. Having a purpose is wonderful, but when your purpose is tied to core issues from your past — you are attempting to heal through your work — you will perpetuate an unhealthy attachment to your work, and you may suffer from anxiety or not-enoughness. Her unresolved hurts around her emotionally unavailable parents are creating a huge attachment to her work, and anytime we have huge attachment, we feel a huge burden of responsibility, which creates self-doubt, because we are taking on way too much responsibility. We become saviors instead of truly being of service. It’s not our responsibility to make sure people change, and it is not our responsibility to make sure they don’t suffer. I know it hurts to watch other people suffering, but we can not take away other people’s pain. By holding a space for the suffering, instead of taking it on, we can truly help by way of compassion. The more comfortable we get with our own suffering, the more we can hold a space of love and compassion for others. If we take on the belief that it is our responsibility to fix someone, then we assume they are broken, and not equipped to heal themselves. One of the biggest gifts we can give to others is to see them as whole, and having all the inner resources they need. People save themselves. Sign up for my weekly blog and vlog. Last week I posted, How to Make and Nurture Friendships. Friendship is a key ingredient to your well-being so, don’t neglect it Also, subscribe to Christine Hassler on Youtube. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you enjoy helping people? Do you find yourself overinvested in making sure they change or heal? ● Does your sense of worthiness or value come from being needed by others or helping others? ● If you are in a helping profession, do you ever feel like a fraud, or like you don’t have what it takes to truly help? ● Do you suffer from anxiety at work, or do you ever feel depleted or drained after being with someone who is struggling or suffering? Candace’s Question: Candace wants to free herself from the anxiety she feels from her alternative health work. Candace’s Key Insights and Ahas: ● Helping people gives her purpose. ● She had to beg for attention as a child. ● She is trying to give others the attention she didn’t get as a child. ● She feels emotionally drained at the end of the day. ● She is continuing to do to herself what her parents did to her. ● She has anger towards her father. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should recognize it is not her responsibility for her patients to get better or for her to fix them. ● She should stop projecting her fears onto the people, and give them the dignity of their process. ● She should make a list of her new beliefs about her clients. ● She should make a list of self-care practices she will start, stop, and modify. ● Use Expectation Hangover to work through forgiving her parents. Action Steps:   ● Give your younger self the attention and love he or she needs. ● Move into forgiveness of anyone from your past who is reinforcing a negative pattern of taking on responsibility. ● Get crystal clear on what your responsibility is, and what is not your responsibility. ● Up your self-care game. Pick one thing you want to stop doing, one thing you want to start doing, and one thing you want to modify or change. Do it for 40 days. ● Share this episode if you feel someone else could benefit from hearing this information. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover “How to Not Take on Someone Else’s Pain” Blogpost Coaches Corner — How to Set Healthy Boundaries Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com

I get a little more personal on this episode of Coaches Corner and talk about some of the amazing coaches and people that have helped me in profound ways.  And often the profound ways have involved a dose of “tough love” which is not always easy to take in.  I share with you how to receive tough-to-hear feedback in a neutral way so that you can shift old patterns and beliefs.    

This episode is about reassurance. Laura is a people pleaser. She goes above and beyond for people and doesn’t get it back in return. She then feels disappointed. I work with her on understanding why she people pleases, why it’s selfish to be a people pleaser, and how to shift out of the pattern. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode89] You may have heard me say this many times before, but people pleasing is selfish. It’s really all about you. You are the one who doesn’t want to upset people, you want to avoid confrontation, and you are the one who is worried about how people perceive you. Laura knows how to be loving and giving; she just needs to direct it towards herself. Use this call as a catalyst to look at your own patterns without judgment, and without beating yourself up. The key to personal development is to work on yourself, without thinking anything is wrong with you. No one outside of you can give you the acceptance and love you need. And, to shift out of a pattern, we have to let go of things from our past. We have to come to peace with the fact that some people in our lives are never going to change. Many people don’t have the tools to change, or they don’t want to change. The older they get, the more their patterns are reinforced. If you feel like the black sheep of the family, or you don’t fit it, it’s ok. You may be the change maker and the lightworker. You may be the one who is willing to break generational patterns. You can love and accept your biological family but find your soul family. As Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you relate to being a people pleaser? ● Can you acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments, but struggle acknowledging yourself for just who you are? ● Do you feel like the black sheep of your family, and sometimes you are afraid to be who you are because you might lose your family’s approval? Laura’s Question: Laura feels she goes above and beyond for people, and they don’t return the effort. She wants to know how to break the pattern of being a people pleaser. Laura’s Key Insights and Ahas: ● People don’t put as much effort into her as she does for them. ● She continues to look for the love and acceptance she wanted from her mother and father in other people. ● She is looking for attention and validation. ● She feels genuine in her job as a social worker. ● Her father never told her he loved her, and she resents him for it. ● She blames herself for what happened to her as a child. ● She is ready to break past patterns. ● She is the lightworker in her family. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should accept her parents didn’t give her the love and acceptance she wanted, and give herself the love, acceptance, and validation she didn’t get when she was little. ● Everything she wants people to say to her, she should say to herself. ● She should accept her position as the lightworker in her family. Takeaways: ● When you are doing things for others, check in with yourself to see if you are giving without any expectations or attachment to getting something in return. Ask yourself is this giving really coming from love. ● Reverse the golden rule — Do unto yourself as you do unto others. ● Forgive the past. Let it go. and stop expecting people to change. ● Have gratitude and acceptance if you are the black sheep of the family, and find your soul family. Sponsor: ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com

I have been hearing a lot of people complaining about being single lately and approaching their relationship status as some kind of disorder that needs to be treated. I observe so many single people, especially the ladies out there, consistently working on themselves to find their “soulmate.” In today’s Coaches Corner  I encourage you to be grateful for whatever your relationship status is – single, dating, divorced, engaged, married or it’s complicated – and embrace it because there is tremendous growth, love and even FUN that comes with each one. I also share some of the perks I have found from being single.

This episode is about getting over feeling lost, and getting yourself unstuck. During the coaching session with Lena, we uncover some past trauma and guilt which is causing her to feel as if she is living in a black hole. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode88] If you can identify with Lena and are feeling stuck yourself, know that you are headed in the right direction towards getting yourself unstuck. Some people just go through life just going through the motions, and not being inspired. If you are aware of it, you are more likely to discover the trigger, and move past it. If you are a coach, take note of the question I asked Lena when she said she had been doing some personal growth work. Find out what your client’s awareness level is, by asking them what personal growth work they have been doing. This helps you avoid telling them something they already know. Also, notice how I reacted when she told me she had cheated, in contrast to my reaction when she divulged the traumatic experience with her father. I acknowledged Lena for her vulnerability, and responded neutrally to the incident, because she already felt shame around it. But, my response to her traumatic experience let her know it was a big deal, and was the cause of her feeling lost. When something traumatic or scary happens, we go into survival mode and we disconnect. We suppress the emotional response because we didn’t know how to deal with it. I recommended Lena look into Somatic therapy to help her overcome her past trauma. My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining. Or, ask Jill about a private one-on-one session. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you feel lost, stuck, or just blah? ● Is there a situation from your past you haven’t fully processed? Maybe you hoped    time would heal the wound, but you never really dealt with the issue. ● Are you questioning a relationship you are currently in? Lena's Question: Lena wants to know how to get out of her “black hole,” and get unstuck from her current feelings of discomfort. Lena's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She was scared by the actions of her father, and felt he turned his back on her. ● She feels guilty about the breakup with her ex-boyfriend. ● She suppressed her feelings of trauma, fear, and guilt. ● She has lost herself. ● She doesn’t want to be in her current relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should work with a Somatic therapist to deal with her trauma. ● She should stop compromising in her current relationship and show up authentically. Takeaways: ● Is there anything you haven’t forgiven yourself for, or a reason you may be punishing yourself? Where do you think you did something wrong? Why do you think you can’t have what you want? ● Get Expectation Hangover and do the Release Writing or Temper Tantrum techniques to help you get unstuck. ● Google Somatic Therapy to learn more about it. It may be helpful in your getting over a trauma from the past. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com