Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This is an incredibly informative and compassionate discussion about trauma.  Trauma is something this is often misunderstood and mistreated which is why I'm so grateful to have had Elaine, who has been on the front lines of trauma, shed some light on this subject.   Elaine Miller-Karas is the Director of Innovation, Vision and Creativity and co-founder of the Trauma Resource Institute and author of the book, Building Resiliency to Trauma, the Trauma and Community Resiliency Models® (2015).   She has worked internationally to bring healing to the world’s community.  Her models to date have been brought to 102 countries in Asia, Africa, North America, the Mid-East, South America and Europe.  She is a recognized international speaker and author. Elaine’s book was recently selected by the United Nations curated on-line library as one of the innovations that can help meet the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals. Elaine is a founding member of the International Transformational Resilience Coalition and a leading advocate with regard to the impact of climate change on the human condition.

This is a call about releasing your anger to find your worth. Today’s caller, Eliza, desires a relationship but doesn’t feel worthy. As with many people who struggle with not-enoughness, unworthiness, or with people who are stuck, she has confused acceptance with resignation and her passion, fire, and worth lies beneath her anger.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode240]   Emotional release work is like a workout. You may not feel like doing it if you didn’t sleep well the night before or you had one too many glasses of wine but after you do it you feel so much better. During this time, emotional release work is very important. This isn't just a time to chill or to just clean out your closet. It’s time to bring your shadow out into the light of awareness and be willing to feel your emotions. That’s when things will start to move and shift.   Please don’t lie to yourself or brush things under the rug. Don’t harbor resentment and call it acceptance. Acceptance is not avoiding confrontation; that’s complacency, resignation, and emotional repression. You might say that you’ve accepted so-and-so for who they are but deep down you probably still have anger and pain.   I believe that acceptance and forgiveness are beautiful places for all of us to be in but good luck being a human being and trying to bypass your emotions and get right to acceptance and forgiveness. That is a spiritual bypass. I hope that in this global Expectation Hangover we’re having more people will do emotional release writing, emotional release work, and the temper tantrum technique to look at the ways that they’re no longer able to sustain their behavior.   Join Stef and me twice per week, as we guide you through breathwork to release stress and fear, meditation to shift your state, and then answer your questions to support you. Visit ChristineHassler.com/freecall.   Stefan and I will be hosting our second ‘Be the Queen’ virtual teaching and coaching in April. The program for women seeking to call in an amazing, conscious relationship includes nine calls, a Facebook group, Facebook Lives, and a bonus live event in September. Christinehassler.com/bethequeen.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle with feeling not enough or unworthiness? Did you have a parent you felt shut you down? Maybe you felt they were disappointed in you or they never looked at you with love or adoration? Do you feel stuck? Do you have trouble motivating yourself? Do you have a hard time speaking your truth to people? Do you prefer to stay in the status quo?   Eliza’s Question: Eliza wants to be in a relationship but feels unworthy of love.   Eliza’s Key Insights and Ahas: She believes she is unlikeable. She doesn’t feel good enough, especially at work. She blames and judges herself. She is fluent in the ‘I am not enough’ language. She believes that blaming herself will help her heal. She would like to forgive her parents freely. She didn’t feel seen by her father. She believes if she accepts her father then she will feel worthy. She doesn’t feel loved by her family. She swallows resentment to try and keep the peace. She wants to feel loved and accepted.   How to Get Over It and On With It: She should join our Be the Queen program. She needs to change her self-talk and re-parent herself. She needs to join my Personal Mastery course and read Expectation Hangover.   Takeaways: Join my Personal Mastery course and get $200 off; use the promo code ‘HEALTH’ at checkout and take advantage of the monthly payment plan. Get an excerpt of the temper tantrum technique from my book, Expectation Hangover as a free gift at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease.    Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Jessica Ortner joins Christine to speak about how the Emotional Freedom Technique, which is also called "Tapping," can help bring relief from difficult emotions and thoughts. Jess is a producer of The Tapping Solution, the breakthrough documentary film on EFT/meridian tapping. She guides you through a tapping process to help release worry and tension in this episode.  You can also more free EFT resources at www.christinehassler.com/tapping.

This is a call about accessing faith when your logical mind has doubts. Today’s caller, Emma, is feeling anxious about not being able to access her faith. She says the mental understanding of God has her optimistic about the future but she wasn’t experientially getting it. And, an uncertain future is exacerbating her anxiety.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode239]   A relationship with a higher power can be complicated just like a relationship with people. We can go through ebbs and flows where we are totally into it and we feel it and then there are times when we are questioning everything.   Part of the reason many of us feel anger toward God is that we see a lot of suffering. We even see something like the pandemic and wonder if there really is a God. Remember that we are made from the image and likeness of God. The reason there is suffering in the world isn’t necessarily because God or the universe did it, it is our free will that has created what we live with on a day-to-day basis.   The universe, I believe, is always helping us move more and more toward evolution. It points out the contrast of when we are out of alignment with harmony, balance, and love. And as a collective, we have been out of alignment for a long time which is just one of the reasons we are experiencing this difficult time.   If we project human behavior onto God or onto the universe it will never make sense to us. We have to see our higher power, without judgment. God/Universe is an all-knowing, all-loving thing. All it wants is for us to know ourselves as it, to know ourselves as unconditional love, untapped possibility, and oneness.   We forget that God exists inside of each of us and we live in a world where we are still evolving. You don’t have to earn God. The more we shift into the energy of love, the energy of gratitude, and the energy of worthiness, there will be less suffering.   How can you experience the unconditional love of the universe if you don’t feel worthy to receive it?   Join Stef and me three to five times per week, as we guide you through breathwork to release stress and fear, meditation to shift your state, and then answer your questions to support you. Visit ChristineHassler.com/freecall and download the call from 4/4/20 about anger.   Stefan and I will be hosting our second ‘Be the Queen’ virtual teaching and coaching in April. The program for women seeking to call in an amazing, conscious relationship includes nine calls, a Facebook group, Facebook Lives, and a bonus live event in September. Christinehassler.com/bethequeen.   Consider/Ask Yourself: What does faith mean to you? Do you feel like you have it? Do you want to have faith but you just don’t feel it? Do you think you are worthy of being loved and supported by God or a higher power? Are you a bit angry at God and the universe and you are not sure what to do about it?   Emma’s Question: Emma doesn’t understand why she can’t access feelings of faith; she would like guidance about how to find meaning and connection.   Emma’s Key Insights and Ahas: She is feeling anxious about the future. She believes she doesn’t have faith. She doesn’t connect with any particular religion. She has had bouts of extreme uncertainty. She doesn’t believe things are fair. She has a pattern of being unable to express her feelings. She believes she is not enough and unworthy. She was bullied when she was a child. She has been repressing anger for a long time. Deep down she remembers what it is like to be connected.   How to Get Over It and On With It: She should join me in my Personal Mastery course. Get $200 off by using the promo code ‘HEALTH’ and take advantage of the monthly payment plan. She needs a good emotional release. She needs to work through the anger by doing the empty chair practice putting God in the opposite chair.   Takeaways: Download my free meditation to help you slip into your sense of faith and sense of spirituality. Download it at ChristineHassler.com/Faith. Tap into your worthiness by using a picture of yourself as a child and feel into love and worthiness.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Join Christine as Stef as they offer tips for both couples and singles to keep love alive.  If you're in a relationship, your partner can either be your greatest asset or the greatest source of irritation . . . we support you in making him or her your asset and share specific ways you can do that. And if you are single, you're going to love what we have to say about why this is a fantastic time to call in love.  We also discuss our program for women who are calling in their man: www.christinehassler.com/bethequeen

This is a call about releasing anger to find passion and calm. Today’s caller, Kirsten, is feeling anxious about what comes next for her. She is a stay-at-home mom who has fallen into the trap of looking for something external to relieve something internal. But as you know, something external never fixes or resolves what’s going on internally. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode238] For many of us, we are so busy being ‘human doings’ that we forget about being human beings. And during this time when we are staying at home, we have an opportunity to come face-to-face with who we really are because we are less distracted. I encourage you, during this time, to go within and delve into nothingness and see what comes up. That's why my Mastery course is such a good investment at this time. This is the perfect time to do your inner work. Our passion and our true calling often reside underneath our anger. If we haven’t addressed our anger, especially as women who tend not to let it out, it is hard to find our passion. And, passion and purpose is a juicy, fiery energy. What we think we want to do often comes from a place of conditioning. But when we release the energy of compassion, we open up the second chakra of our body and when we pull the anger out all of the passion opens up. Releasing anger in a healthy way, as in Expectation Hangover, basically it is finding a safe space. It is important that we voice our feelings at our parents in particular, not at them directly but in a therapeutic way. They don’t need to know about it. In our effort to protect them, we suppress our feelings. When we get the anger out, let it go and eventually get to forgiveness, real forgiveness, then we can have healthier relationships with our parents. It is important to release our anger, release our sadness and to get our energy up and moving so it doesn’t turn into anxiety, fear, pain, or disease. Would you like to work directly with me? I have two Private Client spots open. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information. Join Stef and me three to five times per week, as we guide you through breathwork to release stress and fear, meditation to shift your state, and then answer your questions to support you. Visit ChristineHassler.com/freecall and allow us to support you. Stefan and I will be hosting our second ‘Be the Queen’ virtual teaching and coaching in April. The program for women seeking to call in an amazing, conscious relationship includes nine calls, a Facebook group, Facebook Lives, and a bonus live event in September. Christinehassler.com/bethequeen/   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you wondering what’s next? Are you returning to the work environment or reevaluating what you want to be doing? Did you have a parent who had a temper but maybe it wasn’t directed at you so you could see their loving side so you don’t think it impacted you? Do you have a hard time feeling and expressing anger in a healthy way? Or, do you feel guilty about acknowledging your anger at someone you love because you feel protective of that person? How do you deal in calm when there is nothing to do? Does anxiety get triggered when you don’t know what is next?   Kirsten’s Question: Kirsten feels lost and is trying to find herself now that her kids are getting older.   Kirsten’s Key Insights and Ahas: She is married with two children. She worries about where her worth and value will come from in the future. Her identity is based on her being a wife and mother. She was financially self-reliant from a very young age. She is not fond of relying on her husband for money. Her father had a temper and was aggressive with other family members. She feels anger toward her parents but is very protective of her father. She felt unsettled as a child.   How to Get Over It and On With It: She should read 20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction, by Christine Hassler. She needs to work toward true forgiveness toward her father. She needs to practice release writing and start the sentences with “I am angry because…” She should read Expectation Hangover and join my Personal Mastery course.   Assignments and Takeaways: Go back and listen to Coaches Corner with Nicole Sachs on how emotions create chronic pain in our body.  If you are in your twenties or early thirties, grab a copy of 20-Something, 20-Everything for women or 20-Something Manifesto: Quarter-Lifers Speak Out About Who They Are, What They Want, and How to Get It, by Christine Hassler. Re-read Expectation Hangover or join me in my Personal Mastery course. Get $200 off by using the promo code ‘HEALTH’ and take advantage of the monthly payment plan. Don’t be afraid to follow any feelings of nervousness or anxiety into bigger feelings that reside underneath them. You will find your passion and calm.    Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Nicole Sachs, LCSW is a speaker, writer, podcaster and psychotherapist who has dedicated her work and her practice to the treatment of chronic pain, symptoms, syndromes and conditions. She is the author of the book The Meaning of Truth, and the online course FREEDOM FROM CHRONIC PAIN. Her brand, The Cure for Chronic Pain, includes a Website, Podcast and YouTube Channel. Her personal experience as well as work with thousands of people around the world have shaped and evolved Nicole’s theories, which serve to teach those suffering how to heal themselves completely with no medication or surgery.

This is a call about feeling worthy, trusting yourself, and knowing you are enough. Today’s caller, Lisa, mistakenly believes she is defective in some way, but it’s not true. She initially questions her career path but we unpack her question to get to the root of what is blocking her. There are some powerful ‘ahas’ in this call. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode237] When our desires and our wants are not congruent with our beliefs about ourselves, we can fall into the trap of looking outside ourselves to make us feel a certain way. The universe will keep blocking that from happening because it wants us to learn that we can generate those feelings from inside ourselves and we don’t need anyone or anything else to make us feel confident or believe in ourselves. Our life lessons, our parents, the things that impact our personality and behavioral patterns; all of it is changeable. All of that is healable, I promise you. What is not shiftable is your soul and your spirit. Your soul essence, who you are, your spirit can never be defective or deflated. Join Stef and I three to five times per week, as we guide you through breathwork to release stress and fear, meditation to shift your state, and then answer your questions to support you. Visit ChristineHassler.com/freecall and allow us to support you. Listen to my last Coaches Corner where Emily Fletcher shares a meditation designed to help us stress less. After listening go to Zivameditation.com/online/ to get 50% off one of her mediation training. Stefan and I will be hosting our second ‘Be the Queen’ virtual teaching and coaching in April. The program for women seeking to call in an amazing, conscious relationship includes nine calls, a Facebook group, Facebook Lives, and a bonus live event in September. Christinehassler.com/bethequeen/   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel defective because you can’t seem to get to where you want to be in your life? Are you trying a lot of things, hoping to find something you are passionate about or love doing? Did you have too much responsibility as a child? Do you have contradicting desires and beliefs?   Lisa’s Question: Lisa has spent years in a job she doesn’t like and feels stuck but can’t pinpoint what she really wants to do.   Lisa’s Key Insights and Ahas: She is in a career she doesn’t like. She feels like she is a procrastinator and lazy. She took the first job she was offered. She wants to be in a more strategic position. She feels stressed. She started pursuing fashion as a hobby. She believes that she is unworthy. She has never felt connected to anything. She didn’t have the opportunity to play and be herself as a child. She is a generational pattern breaker. She lived in a state of survival as a child. Her spirit wants more. She is doing EMDR therapy. Her desires and her wants are not congruent with her beliefs about herself.   How to Get Over It and On With It: She should be proud of herself for getting out there and trying new things. She needs to reparent and heal herself. She needs to tap into her shadow self and express herself. She should read Expectation Hangover and join my Personal Mastery course.   Assignments and Takeaways: Think about things that you were shamed for as a child and have compassion for yourself, take back your power, and give yourself permission to start enjoying the things you love. Commit to feeling again. It’s not about discipline, it’s about being attuned to what is going on in the moment.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

Emily Fletcher is the founder of Ziva Meditation and the leading expert in meditation for extraordinary performance. In this very timely interview, she speaks to why mediation is so imperative for our wellbeing - particularly for our immune system.  Emily guides you through a powerful meditation and offers you 50% off her Ziza meditation training which you can access at https://zivameditation.com/online/ The Ziva Technique is a powerful trifecta of mindfulness, meditation and manifesting designed to unlock your full potential. Also check out her book, Stress Less, Accomplish More, debuted at #7 out of all books on Amazon.

This is a call about issue-based relationships. Today’s caller, Megan, is curious about whether she should go back to a relationship that is on a break. She wants to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship. I explain what an issue-based relationship is and give her some guidance about how to listen to her inner knowing. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode236] The five relationships are issue-based, journey mate, compatibility, fantasy, and side-by-side partnership. Not every relationship is made to last forever or should last forever. Different relationships come for different reasons and teach us different things. When we understand what type of relationship we have then it is a little bit easier to deal with. An issue-based relationship is when our childhood wounds attract us to each other. We tend to date our unresolved issues from our childhood. Normally one person dumps feelings all over the other and the other person either dumps feelings back or tries to clean up the mess. They keep triggering each other and playing out patterns. When couples go to couple’s counseling it doesn’t really work because they keep trying to work on the relationship but they should be working on their own issues. It’s like two people who speak totally different languages and you are trying to teach them how to speak a third language. For people in issue-based relationships, I recommend taking a break and separating, working on themselves, and then re-evaluating the relationship. By then they may decide the relationship is not what they want or they get back together.   March 18, 2020, Stefanos and I are co-hosting a group call about relationships. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group. If you missed my live group coaching call about how to care for your energetic and spiritual hygiene and cope during times of stress download it for free at Christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/   Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there someone from your past that you are considering bringing back into your life? Are you in an issue-based relationship? Have you been in a relationship that has felt like great chemistry but it was actually codependence? Are you willing to be on your own, or not in a relationship, for as long as it takes to see clearly what you need from a relationship? Megan’s Question: Megan would like to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship. Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas: She attended my Spring Retreat. She is in an issue-based relationship. She entered into the relationship from an unhealthy space. She has an opportunity to reconnect with her boyfriend who she has strong feelings for. She has a pattern of giving men multiple chances. Her father wasn’t emotionally available. She feels an extremely strong connection to her boyfriend. She has a pattern of asking external sources for answers to her internal questions. She wants to get more into her healthy masculine. How to Get Over It and On With It: She may want to let her boyfriend complete his coaching before reconnecting. She needs to trust herself and her inner knowing. She should reaffirm advice from others by writing it down and considering how it feels to her. She should pray for the highest good of all parties. Assignments and Takeaways: Relationships are always learning opportunities. Look at your triggering relationships and consider what they are reflecting back to you. If you are in an issue-based relationship and are not getting anywhere, take a break and work separately for a year and then see where you stand. Evaluate the kind of partner you are being to yourself and work on your self-care and self-love. Sponsor: LOLA — offers a modern approach to feminine care that is for women by women. It is the best way to get 100% organic cotton tampons, pads, and cleansing wipes you can feel good about delivered to your home. Lola products are free of chemicals, fragrances, or dyes. Go to MyLola.com to customize your subscription and use the code ‘OVERIT30’ to get 30% off your first month’s subscription. Get a starter pack subscription for just $5. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show