Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This is a call about issue-based relationships. Today’s caller, Megan, is curious about whether she should go back to a relationship that is on a break. She wants to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship. I explain what an issue-based relationship is and give her some guidance about how to listen to her inner knowing. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode236] The five relationships are issue-based, journey mate, compatibility, fantasy, and side-by-side partnership. Not every relationship is made to last forever or should last forever. Different relationships come for different reasons and teach us different things. When we understand what type of relationship we have then it is a little bit easier to deal with. An issue-based relationship is when our childhood wounds attract us to each other. We tend to date our unresolved issues from our childhood. Normally one person dumps feelings all over the other and the other person either dumps feelings back or tries to clean up the mess. They keep triggering each other and playing out patterns. When couples go to couple’s counseling it doesn’t really work because they keep trying to work on the relationship but they should be working on their own issues. It’s like two people who speak totally different languages and you are trying to teach them how to speak a third language. For people in issue-based relationships, I recommend taking a break and separating, working on themselves, and then re-evaluating the relationship. By then they may decide the relationship is not what they want or they get back together.   March 18, 2020, Stefanos and I are co-hosting a group call about relationships. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group. If you missed my live group coaching call about how to care for your energetic and spiritual hygiene and cope during times of stress download it for free at Christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays/   Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there someone from your past that you are considering bringing back into your life? Are you in an issue-based relationship? Have you been in a relationship that has felt like great chemistry but it was actually codependence? Are you willing to be on your own, or not in a relationship, for as long as it takes to see clearly what you need from a relationship? Megan’s Question: Megan would like to know if an issue-based relationship can turn into a healthy relationship. Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas: She attended my Spring Retreat. She is in an issue-based relationship. She entered into the relationship from an unhealthy space. She has an opportunity to reconnect with her boyfriend who she has strong feelings for. She has a pattern of giving men multiple chances. Her father wasn’t emotionally available. She feels an extremely strong connection to her boyfriend. She has a pattern of asking external sources for answers to her internal questions. She wants to get more into her healthy masculine. How to Get Over It and On With It: She may want to let her boyfriend complete his coaching before reconnecting. She needs to trust herself and her inner knowing. She should reaffirm advice from others by writing it down and considering how it feels to her. She should pray for the highest good of all parties. Assignments and Takeaways: Relationships are always learning opportunities. Look at your triggering relationships and consider what they are reflecting back to you. If you are in an issue-based relationship and are not getting anywhere, take a break and work separately for a year and then see where you stand. Evaluate the kind of partner you are being to yourself and work on your self-care and self-love. Sponsor: LOLA — offers a modern approach to feminine care that is for women by women. It is the best way to get 100% organic cotton tampons, pads, and cleansing wipes you can feel good about delivered to your home. Lola products are free of chemicals, fragrances, or dyes. Go to MyLola.com to customize your subscription and use the code ‘OVERIT30’ to get 30% off your first month’s subscription. Get a starter pack subscription for just $5. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

This call is about reclaiming your sexuality and getting over body issues. Today’s caller, Heidi, has felt shame about her sexuality since she was a child. During our conversation, I coach her through how to reclaim her sexuality and how she can feel safe in her body to experience pleasure.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode235]   Being connected to our bodies and experiencing pleasure is important. There are a lot of therapies that help people move past eating disorders and fall back in love with their bodies. But, sexuality is a part of the therapy that is often left out.   When we don’t experience sensual or sexual pleasure or we disconnect from our body and are not satisfied we attempt to fill the void with food for satiation. For some, the only way to feel safe is to enforce some kind of control over their bodies which may create a body image issue or an eating disorder. We can store emotional pain in our reproductive organs just like we store tension in our shoulders. And it is common for many women to experience pain during sex or sex doesn’t feel good to them. It is natural for human beings to want to experience pleasure. So, start introducing pleasure in ways that feel safe with you. We don’t need to know the specifics behind our fears to heal ourselves and move on.   Secure your spot for our live group coaching call on love and relationships on March 18th. Be part of my community for only $20. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information or to access the recorded version of the call. Join Stefanos and me in Austin for our ‘Love Amplified: Amplifying Your Relationship with Yourself, with Others, and with Your Higher Power.’ To sign up for the event on September 24–27th go to ChristineHassler.com/austin.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have any body image issues? Have you had an eating disorder in the past or are struggling with it now? Were you raised in a very strict, religious, or repressed home? Were you shamed as a child or teenager? Do you experience pleasure in your current life? Do you enjoy sex? Could it be better?   Heidi’s Question: Heidi would like guidance on how to heal her body from an eating disorder.   Heidi’s Key Insights and Ahas: She sabotages herself and reverts to old patterns. She battles anorexia. She rarely felt safe as a child. She always tried to please her father. She felt shame around how she looked. Her family is very religious. She has disconnected from her sexuality.   How to get over it and on with it: She needs to unlock her sacred sexuality. She should look for healers to help her. She needs to put more intention into her sex life with her husband. She needs to indulge in self-pleasure to feel safe in her body.   Assignments and Takeaways: If you have been dealing with an eating disorder or body image issue, take an inventory of how much pleasure you have in your life. You don’t need a partner to experience pleasure. Create pleasure dates with yourself. Somatic therapy, Pelvic Floor Therapy, Dancing, Tantra are all ways you can heal and help yourself to enjoy being in your body. Put more intention into your sex life. Enjoy being in your body. Don’t disconnect from your physical experience.   Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — What if you could take away the hassle of bra shopping and find the perfect fitting bra that is made for comfort in minutes? Take the fit finder quiz to find your perfect size, even if it’s a half size. Third Love has donated over 15 million gently-used bras to women in need in the San Francisco Bay area. Use the link to get 15% off the first purchase of your favorite bra.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

This week Christine shares about her experience at Dr. Joe Dispenza's week-long advanced retreat - learn a little about who Dr. Joe is, what he teaches, and how to move through resistance when you are breaking out of your comfort zone.  Christine also announces more about the retreat she is teaching in September: www.christinehassler.com/austin

This episode is about how to break addictive behaviors. Today’s caller, Dee, had a chaotic childhood and is unconsciously creating chaos in her adult life because it feels familiar and safe. We work through the process of identifying her emotional addiction and unpack why it’s hard to shift and then how to shift it. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode234] How we know that an unresolved issue from our past or an old emotional addiction has created a pattern of acting that is so unconscious that we have a hard time ‘controlling’ it is at play is that we do something that doesn’t match our current life. If you are doing something that doesn’t match up to what your current life represents, you have some work to do in terms of going back and cleaning up the past. When we have a lot of chaos or are used to feeling it, we become addicted to negative or lower vibrational feelings, like anxiety. Sometimes the revved up, anxious, addicted behavior creates a feeling of peace because it is familiar. With any addiction, you are never after the substance. You are after the feeling the substance gives you. When we understand that the human psyche feels safety with certainty the brain continually hunts for what it knows to be familiar. It’s way more than sabotage. It’s a part of the brain that is so familiar with chaos that when everything is good and peaceful, it feels wrong or off. If you are in a behavior that feels incongruent with your current state, be aware that it is an emotional addiction. Drop into compassion and then feed your emotional addiction a different way. Secure your spot for our live group coaching call on love and relationships on March 18th. Be part of my community for only $20. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information. Join Stefanos and me in Austin in the Fall for our Love Amplified: Amplifying Your Relationship with Yourself, with Others, and with Your Higher Power. To get on the ‘interested’ list go to ChristineHassler.com/austin.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a habit of overspending and/or overeating? Do you have a behavior where you see yourself doing it and you know you shouldn’t but you just can't seem to stop? Did you grow up with a lot of chaos? Is the chaos gone but you continue to bring chaos into your life? How are you about going with the flow and letting go of control? Do you have a deep connection with a higher power? Dee’s Question: Dee has a habit of overspending and overeating and would like guidance on how to break her past programming. Dee’s Key Insights and Ahas: She’s read Expectation Hangover. She continues to accrue debt. She overeats unhealthy foods. She’s never been taught about money. She grew up with scarcity and chaos. There is addiction in her family. She is unconsciously creating chaos. She’s always been a seeker. She doesn’t feel worthy. She works in the spiritual arts. She feels positive about what to do next. How to Get Over It and On With It: If she can change where she focuses her energy, from spending to spiritual things will open up for her. She needs to stop herself in the moment and generate feelings of love. She needs to stir up the chemicals in her body and brain. When she feels an urge to spend or eat, she should put one hand on her heart and one on her head and give herself love. She needs to be gentle with herself while she breaks the cycle. Takeaways: If you are in a behavior that feels incongruent with your current state, be aware that it is an emotional addiction. Drop into compassion and then feed your emotional addiction in a different way.   Sponsor: Rothy’s — Rothy’s makes everyday flats for women and girls on the go. They are stylish, classic, and comfortable with new colors launching all the time. These cute and versatile shoes made from repurposed plastic water bottles are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Get your Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

Amber Lilyestrom is a transformational branding strategist and business coach, author and speaker. She is the host of The Amber Lilyestrom Show podcast, which has over 100,000 monthly downloads . She is the creator of the Ignite Your Soul Summit, an annual live event in Portsmouth, NH and multiple life-changing online programs.  Amber's mission is to empower women to position themselves as sought-after experts and thought leaders through the creation of an online brand presence. Her transformational mindset work sets her apart in an industry focused on a strategy-first, inner work later approach. She’s worked with thousands of women worldwide building a seven-figure business from home, while also homeschooling her daughter and retiring her husband from his 11-year police career. Amber spent 10 years working in collegiate athletics marketing before launching her business. She managed the University of New Hampshire Wildcats brand, where she taught sports marketing and mentored student interns. She was recognized as one of the top sports marketing professionals in the nation and left her corporate career after a life-altering near-death experience that served as the catalyst for her to launch her business. You can learn more and connect with Amber at www.amberlilyestrom.com

This episode is about how to get over a breakup but we go much deeper than that. Today’s caller, Miranda, had a profound spiritual experience during her previous relationship. She thought the feeling came from an external source when it actually came from her internal divine source because her mind was quiet enough to feel unconditional love for herself. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode233] We are all headed towards breaking old personality patterns and emotional addictions that have kept us in a certain frequency to elevate ourselves into a different energetic field. This is why journey mates come into our lives. There is a specific reason a journey mate comes into our lives. A journey mate relationship is a contract but it’s a short-term contract. We come together with a person to have an important experience or to help us get through a difficult time we can’t get through on our own. The other person acts as a mirror to show us the aspect inside of us we need to transform. Usually, once the experience or realization happens the relationship has to end. Often, I find these relationships end abruptly or under random circumstances. The reason the universe pulls two people apart is that a journey mate is only in our lives to show us something about ourselves or to help us discover inner qualities that we may not be able to access on our own. How do you access a deeper connection with the divine? I am a proud sponsor of B-school which is an online training program for modern entrepreneurs taught by Marie Forleo. When you register through my link you will receive special bonuses from me. I include four group coaching calls of 90 min each, four custom meditations for entrepreneurs, access to my Facebook group, a one day retreat, plus free access to my master class for coaches. Go to ChristineHassler.com/bschool or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information. For free training videos from Marie go to ChristineHassler.com/training. Join Stefan and me in Austin in the Fall for our Love Amplified: Amplifying Your Relationship with Yourself, with Others, and with Your Higher Power. To get on the ‘interested’ list go to ChristineHassler.com/austin. Or join us on a live group coaching call on love and relationships on March 18th or 19th. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you struggling with getting over a breakup? Have you been in a deeply connected relationship but it ended abruptly or under shocking circumstances? Have you had a spiritual experience but are unable to have it again? Do you want to feel unconditional love, peace, and a deeper connection? Do you tend to be hard on yourself or have a fierce inner critic?   Miranda’s Question: Miranda had a spiritual experience in a relationship but since the relationship ended she hasn’t been able to recreate the feeling and would like guidance on how to regain the feeling. Miranda’s Key Insights and Ahas: She had a positive spiritual experience in which she felt unconditional love. She has a fierce inner critic. Her previous relationship ended abruptly. She realizes she sacrificed some of herself in the relationship. She overanalyzed what the relationship meant. She realizes she felt the love from an internal source, not an external one. She feels encouraged by her progress. She wants to capitalize on this chapter of her life. How to Get Over It and On With It: She needs to realize that what she experienced was a spiritual moment she allowed herself to have. She should look at the relationship as a gift but not put her ex on a pedestal. She shouldn’t believe that she was rejected. She needs to fall more in love with herself every day.  She needs to generate the elated feelings on her own. Takeaways: If you feel you have a Journey Mate relationship or had one, accept it. Write a letter you don’t intend to send to thank the other person for the relationship and declaring it done. Get serious about your meditation practice. You should be feeling elevated when you finish.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

Antonio Neves is an internationally recognized leadership speaker, author and award-winning journalist. He's the author of three books including, '50 Ways To Excel In Your First Job (and in Life) and he’s currently working on his next book. On his podcast The Best Thing, he talks with fascinating people about the “best thing” to happen to them that would never appear on a resume, bio or come up in conversation. For nearly 10 years, Antonio has helped organizations increase workplace engagement, create strong cultures of accountability, and tell stories that make people lean in Antonio's clients and audiences are some of the largest brands in the world including. An award-winning journalist, Antonio worked as a correspondent, host and producer for over 10 years in New York City with top networks including NBC, PBS, BET Networks, Advertising Age and Nickelodeon.

This episode is about asking for what you need in relationships. Today’s caller, Megan, feels overwhelmed when faced with too many choices and is afraid to be truly seen. She doesn’t want her pattern of uncertainty to sabotage her new relationship. Like in many coaching sessions, her initial question isn’t exactly what we focus on. This is for anyone who has trouble making decisions, doubts themselves, or is in sabotaging patterns.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode232]   For empaths, love can feel overwhelming because we love so deeply. When we are in a relationship it can feel smothering and overwhelming. Instead of communicating that we need boundaries and space with love we are often afraid of confrontation or don’t want to make the other person upset. So, we unconsciously push them away by either judging them internally, nitpicking, or acting out in other ways. Empaths need to know what they need — especially at the beginning of the relationship. When you are first dating someone you need to be vocal and ask for what you need.   Boundaries in a relationship and asking for what you need is important. That way you don’t have to build walls. You can have a door and that door can be open most of the time but sometimes you need to shut it and put on the do not disturb sign. The people in your life that love you will understand. It will allow them to spend time with themselves.   When our heart is broken either through a breakup or the death of someone, we want to love again but we are scared because it feels risky.   Fear of making the wrong decision will keep you from making the decision. Basically, fear complicates everything in your life. The more you can drop into love and your inner knowing and move out of the energy of fear the more clarity you will have in all aspects of your life.   I am a proud sponsor of B-school which is an online training program for modern entrepreneurs taught by Marie Forleo. When you register through my link you will receive special bonuses from me. I include four group coaching calls of 90 min each, four custom meditations for entrepreneurs, access to my Facebook group, a one day retreat, plus free access to my master class for coaches. Go to ChristineHassler.com/bschool or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information. For free training videos from Marie go to ChristineHassler.com/training.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you notice you have sabotaging behaviors? You can get close to what you want but then sabotaging thoughts or behaviors show up. When it comes to making decisions do you struggle and wonder if you made the right choice? Or, that you should be “doing something different.”  Have you lost someone you love either through the ending of a relationship or a death and you are scared to open your heart again? Do you make time regularly to connect to your inner wisdom and get answers from there?   Megan’s Question: Megan has a recurring pattern of feeling as if she isn’t doing the right thing or feels she should be doing something else and would like guidance on how to change it.   Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas: She is an empath. She is in a new relationship. She is aware of her patterns. Her mother tried to control what she was eating. She is overwhelmed with too many choices. She is afraid of another heartbreak. She feels safer when she is alone. She has created a fortress around her heart. She is afraid to be seen. She is filled with doubt about her ability to write a book.   How to Get Over It and On With It: She needs to establish healthy boundaries in her new relationship. She needs to ask for what she needs. She needs to recognize her gift of feeling deeply. She needs to connect more deeply to the divine inside of her.   Takeaways: Make sure you have boundaries, not barriers. Don’t build a fortress around yourself. Just put up the ‘do not disturb’ sign for a while. Risk big when it comes to loving! When fear comes up, remind yourself that with fear you are already in loss. If you are afraid of letting someone in, journal about what you don’t want someone else to see. Often, we don’t know what we are hiding. My 6-step Process to Making Intuitive Decisions is my gift to you. Send a text to 444999 and put ‘Christine’ in the subject line. If you are outside of the U.S. email assist@christinehassler.com and request the free gift.   Sponsor: LOLA — offers a modern approach to feminine care that is for women by women. It is the best way to get 100% organic cotton tampons, pads, and cleansing wipes you can feel good about delivered to your home. Lola products are free of chemicals, fragrances, or dyes. Go to MyLola.com to customize your subscription and use the code ‘OVERIT30’ to get 30% off your first month’s subscription. Get a starter pack subscription for just $5.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

This is a must listen, especially for aspiring or current entrepreneurs. Marie joins Christine for the 3rd time to inspire you with stories around her mantra, "Everything is figureoutable."  We also talk about her signature program, B-School, for teaching modern, heart-centered entrepreneurs how to build a successful business.  I also reveal my EPIC B-School bonuses for this year which you can access here: www.christinehassler.com/bschool