Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about self-soothing strategies for empaths. Today’s caller, Alexis, wants guidance about how to find self-worth after getting out of an abusive relationship. But, we go deeper and discover that self-worth is just part of the issue. She realizes that moving toward self-soothing will be more beneficial to her at this time. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode231] We can’t amp up our self-worth if we keep judging and shaming ourselves. If you are trying to increase your self-worth, I want you to consistently think of things you are proud of. Not just accomplishments but choices and characteristics and all courageous actions you have taken. Increase your feelings of pride and it will increase your self-worth. Narcissists are very attractive to empaths because empaths have huge hearts and can see what’s behind narcissism. While narcissists are self-absorbed, empaths are often selfless and are more concerned with other people’s happiness. If you are an empath who is with a narcissist, my encouragement to you is to get out of the relationship. No matter how much you love them they are unable to feel empathy and they can’t give you the love and attention you deserve. It’s a tough relationship to be in. And, trying to get out of triggers or uncomfortable feelings by thinking positive is a dead-end for a lot of people, especially empaths. One of your gifts is that you feel deeply so trying to escape your feelings through positive psychology or a pep talk may lead you astray because you are negating the very essence of who you are. If you are a feeling person, you have to honor your feelings. I am a proud sponsor of B-school which is an online training program for modern entrepreneurs taught by Marie Forleo. When you register through my link you will receive special bonuses from me. I include four group coaching calls of 90 min each, four custom meditations for entrepreneurs, access to my Facebook group, a one day retreat, plus free access to my master class for coaches. Go to ChristineHassler.com/bschool or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information. For free training videos from Marie go to ChristineHassler.com/training. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you getting over a breakup? Do you ever fear you may be codependent or have codependent patterns? As a child, did you ever feel like you were walking on eggshells? How are you at self-soothing? When you get triggered, do you try to distract yourself to avoid dealing with the feelings? Alexis’s Question: Alexis recently got out of an abusive relationship and would like guidance on how to boost her self-worth. Alexis’s Key Insights and Ahas: She was in an abusive relationship for two years. She is working on being proud of herself. She would shut down when she tried to stand up for herself. Her ex would make her feel crazy. She is an empath. She feels blocked when trying to get to the core of her trauma. She is stuck in the awareness phase of personal development. There was a lot of tension in her childhood home. She felt abandoned and alone in the past. She doesn’t follow through in many things in her life. She struggles with letting her feelings out. She is part of my Personal Mastery community. How to Get Over It and On With It: She should listen to the Coaches Corner with Dr. Judith Orloff. She needs to realize she is not alone because many empaths are attracted to narcissists. She needs to learn self-soothing techniques and strategies. She should journal in the form of release writing. Takeaways: Be proud of yourself. Listen to the Coaches Corner with Dr. Judith Orloff. Make a date to meet with your feelings when they come up if you are unable to process them in the moment. Use my release writing technique from Expectation Hangover when journaling. Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and say “I am loved and I am safe.” Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Comfortable, perfectly-fitting bras that boost confidence. What if you could remove the hassle of bra shopping and find the most comfortable, perfect fitting bra in minutes? Take the fit finder quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes! Use the link to get 15% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Thirdlove donates returned bras to women in need. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

Dr. Judith Orloff is a New York Times bestselling author, psychiatrist and is on the UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating empaths and sensitive people in her Los Angeles based private practice. Judith Orloff MD asserts that we are keepers of an innate intuitive intelligence so perceptive that it can tell us how to heal — and prevent — illness. Yet intuition and spirituality are the very aspects of our wisdom usually disenfranchised from traditional health care. Dr. Orloff’s latest book “The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People” (Sounds True, 2017) is an invaluable resource to help sensitive people of all kinds develop healthy coping mechanisms in our high-stimulus world without experiencing compassion fatigue or burnout. Empaths can then fully embody their gifts of intuition, creativity, and compassion. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured all over the world in various media outlets.  You can learn more about at www.drjudithorloff.com.

This episode is about our money story. Today’s caller, Emily, calls in asking about gaining clarity and her purpose but what we reveal is her relationship with money impacts many things for her. Her unconscious programming holds beliefs that are directly at odds with what she wants for herself. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode230] If you grew up not having a lot of money or being told money was evil then there you may have some trauma around having money. And just like going back and healing emotional wounds, we have to go back and heal our financial wounds as well. Our careers, being parents, or what we do in the world gets confused with what we think we are here on the earth to do. Your purpose in life isn’t your career. We mistakenly think that it is our purpose. What I feel is true, is that our purpose is to evolve our soul as much as possible. Our purpose is to elevate our consciousness, move out of fear and judgment, and come back into knowing we are whole and we are love. Doing the work is the purpose. Our profession is just an expression of what we do. But, just because your purpose is not your career it doesn’t mean you need to be in a soul-sucking career. Your purpose in life is also not to suffer. So, if you want to move out of something where you feel like you are suffering and your soul is being sucked out of your body while you are sitting in your cubicle, know that part of your purpose is joy. You deserve to do something that brings you more joy.   Consider/Ask Yourself: When you think about money, what comes up for you? Do you feel abundant, neutral, excited, or stressed? Growing up, what were you told about money? Do you live paycheck-to-paycheck? Do you know what your purpose is and do you believe you can make money doing it? Emily’s Question: Emily wants help in getting clear about her purpose and help with goal setting for the future. Emily’s Key Insights and Ahas: She finds it difficult to plan for the future. She wants the burden and fear about money to be lifted to attain financial freedom. She wants to feel calm, free and living with purpose. Her mother had a scarcity mindset. As a child, she was told she was wise beyond her years and stubborn. Her adopted identity is in direct conflict with having money. Her unconscious programming tells her having money is bad. She is passionate about helping people. She is enrolled in my Personal Mastery Course. How to Get Over It and On With It: She needs to shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundant mindset. She should read Money: A Love Story, by Kate Northrup and listen to podcasts about money. She needs to believe she is abundant. She needs to drop into her intuition. Takeaways: Look at your money story and check out the resources I mentioned in the podcast. Get some new belief systems in place. Work those belief systems. Tell yourself a different story and collect evidence for why the new story is true. Look at how you are making money in your life and if you feel you are “on purpose.” Join me for my Spring Retreat in San Diego March 6th-8th. Sponsor: Rothy’s — Rothy’s makes everyday flats for women and girls on the go. They are stylish, classic, and comfortable with new colors launching all the time. These cute and versatile shoes made from repurposed plastic water bottles are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Get your Rothy’s by using this link Rothys.com/over. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

This episode is incredibly educational when it comes to our attachment styles.  I talk with licensed psychotherapist Ellen Boeder about how attachment styles are formed, how they impact our adult relationships, and what we can do to heal them so we can have more secure attachments. A little more about Ellen . . . She has been a therapist since 2003.  She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work.  Since getting married 12 years ago, and becoming a mother to two children, Ellen transitioned from working primarily with women to focusing on couples.  Ellen is trained in PACT, a therapeutic modality for couples founded by Stan Tatkin, PsyD., that synthesizes attachment theory, neuroscience, and affect regulation models to support couples in creating an enduring and nourishing relationship through secure functioning. In addition to maintaining a part time private practice, Ellen is on faculty for the Relationship School—a business founded by her husband Jayson Gaddis that provides in depth relationship education for anyone who wants to learn, as well as training for relationship coaches. 

This episode is about finding the tools to help you better deal with trauma and breaking the cycle of numbing. Today’s caller, Charmaine, has had multiple traumas in her life and uses marijuana as a coping strategy. But this isn’t a call about stopping marijuana use. When discussing any type of addiction or numbing device, you have to uncover the deeper issue.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode229]   From my point of view, we can’t deal with addiction effectively unless we deal with the core issue that is creating the addiction or coping strategy. Most addictions are coping strategies for when we didn’t have the tools to deal with the drama and trauma that’s happened in our life. Addiction to anything is a symptom of a deeper issue.   When we speak of addiction, we often just think of drugs and alcohol but there are so many other things we use as coping and numbing strategies that become addictions. Sex, gaming, gambling, food, and even things like work, falling in love, and caretaking. Basically, anything we use to get us out of feeling our pain and feeling our big feelings is a coping strategy that can turn into an addiction.   Because the way coping strategies work, is you have to keep upping the ante. The feelings get bigger and bigger and then it takes more energy to suppress them. And, there is not much of a difference between emotional, mental, and physical addiction. Because mental and emotional pain is most likely the cause of physical addiction.   If you feel like you are addicted to something worse than marijuana, know that you can get to the other side of it and that judging yourself will not get you anywhere. It won’t get you to stop being mean to yourself. The part of you that is reaching out for the coping strategy needs love and compassion. It needs to be healed. You probably developed your coping strategy because you had no better tools.   Remember, there is not one style of therapy or coaching that is better than others. It’s about what feels right to you. When it comes to working with any therapist or coach it’s either a ‘hell yeah’ or ‘hell no’! Better tools are available but know that it requires facing your feelings and some of the demons you buried a long time ago.   To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself: When it comes to feeling your pain, do you actually feel it or do you numb or distract yourself? Did you have parents who were super present and attentive? Have you done things you are ashamed of? Are you addicted to a substance or numbing technique like pot, alcohol, caretaking, overworking, or food?   Charmaine’s Question: Charmaine used marijuana to help her cope during a difficult time but would like to stop but doesn’t know how.   Charmaine’s Key Insights and Ahas: She was in the military for 13 years and in an unhealthy marriage. She was kicked out of the military for drug use. She uses pot to numb herself from the trauma she experienced in her past. She feels shame and judges herself. Her parents neglected her. She was sexually molested when she was a child. She has seen a therapist who recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has employed numbing mechanisms for her whole life. She has remarried a wonderful human being.   How to Get Over It and On With It: She needs to find a long-term, quality therapist that resonates with her. She needs a safe space to feel her feelings. She shouldn’t quit pot until she has the techniques to deal with her emotions.   Takeaways: Be honest and compassionate with yourself if you are using a coping strategy that may border on addiction or is a full-blown addiction. If you feel as if you want a guide or therapist, pray about it. Set the intention to manifest the best healer for you. You have a divine appointment with the people in your life who are supposed to guide you. Trust that they are there. Join my Personal Mastery Course or my Spring Retreat.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

Don't miss this episode! One of my soul sisters, Kate Reardon, drops some serious wisdom and compassion bombs in this episode.  Kate is a naturopath, intuitive metaphysical healer, author, host of the podcast "Lean In" and co-founder of Natural Instincts Healing's Transformational Retreats.  She is one of the most powerful and magical people I know. Enjoy this episode!   Learn more about Kate's healing centers here: https://naturalinstincthealing.com/

This episode is about getting out of your head and in touch with spirit. Today’s caller, Michelle, is intelligent and has a lot of awareness but her awareness and her thinking are blocking her from a deeper connection to spirit and to the essence of who she truly is. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode228] We can’t answer spiritual questions with the mind. That is just the nature of spiritual questions. They can’t be answered through the intellect. I have found that sometimes the smarter you are, or the more you are in your head, the harder it is to meditate, to find a connection to spirit, and to drop into your heart. It doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It just means when we have a strong mind it likes to hold on to thinking and control with a tighter grip. We think and think and think about how to figure something out but how do we figure out a truth? You can figure out a puzzle, you can figure out a math problem or how to build something but you can’t figure out enoughness. There is no mathematical equation to figure out love. You just feel it. There is no structured formula to tell you that you feel love for somebody. It’s a feeling and so is enoughness and oneness. When we have a strong thinking mind it’s hard to access true unconditional love. It isn’t until we have an experience of God that we really know we are whole and complete and knowing, no matter what. There are only a few spots left for my Signature Spring Retreat. To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself:  Are you someone who really likes to know things?  Do you struggle with worthiness or feeling enough?  Does some part of you believe that worthiness is based on what you can do or accomplish? Or, that someone else’s worthiness is based on what they can do?  Do you feel connected to God?  Does satisfaction or fulfillment feel fleeting to you?   Michelle’s Question: Michelle believes that worthiness is directly tied to actions and would like guidance on how to reframe the idea and feel worthy from a spiritual perspective. Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:  She feels unworthy spiritually.  She never feels satisfied.  She was raised in a religious household but doesn’t subscribe to all the beliefs.  She enjoys rules and structure in her life.  She teaches yoga.  She is mind-dominant.  She associates her thoughts with who she is.  She is ready to surrender.   How to Get Over It and On With It:  She needs to figure out who she is, if not her thinking mind.  She should consider getting a dog.  She needs to give God and the universe permission to send her clear messages or invitations.  She needs to adopt a spiritual practice.  She needs to see herself through the lens of self-compassion.  She needs to consider joining other like-minded people at my Spring Retreat.   Takeaways:  Listen to last week’s episode, Breaking Up with a Religion.  Sign up for my Personal Mastery Course.  Put out the call to have a spiritual experience for your highest good to bring in a workshop, the teacher, the ceremony to help you have an experience of God.   Sponsor: LOLA — offers a modern approach to feminine care that is for women by women. It is the best way to get 100% organic cotton tampons, pads, and other products you can feel good about delivered to your home. Lola products are free of chemicals, fragrances, or dyes. Go to MyLola.com to customize your subscription and use the code ‘OVERIT30’ to get 30% off your first month’s subscription. Get a starter pack subscription for just $5.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

My husband, Stef Sifandos, is back on the show.  We talk about how to disagree in any relationship in a healthy way and share our seven-step process for navigating an argument. This is great info for any relationship and imperative for romantic ones.

This episode is about consciously and completely leaving a religion someone else chose for you. Today’s caller, Christina, has recently discovered what her core wounding is and she is in spiritual crisis. She would like guidance on how to protect herself during her vulnerable self-discovery process.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode227]   When we leave a religion, whether we drift away from it or there is a point where we cut the cord, it is like a breakup. And, on some level, we are changing the course of our religious beliefs especially if we are baptized into a certain religion. Our soul, for whatever reason, decided to come through those parents who baptized us in a religion so when we leave it, it is important to have a healthy breakup with it. Not just leave in anger or run away. There are soul contracts. This makes it important to make peace when you leave it.   Just like you would want to leave a relationship with looking at “What are the lessons I’ve learned,” “What are the things that I really want to take with me,” “What were the things I loved about the person,” and “What are the gifts that came from the relationship?”   We want to ask ourselves similar questions when we leave a religion. It’s even a deeper spiritual process because then we have to find God, whatever God means to us, in a new way.   And, dark energies can be a scary subject to speak of, especially when we grow up hearing about things like the Devil, Satan, or dark entities. Sometimes our own unprocessed, unconscious stuff can create some crazy visuals to get our attention about certain things. Instead of considering what the darkness means, try thinking about how you can increase your connection to the highest source of light and love. The most important thing is to surrender to unconditional love and light.   There are only a few spots left for my Signature Spring Retreat. To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.   If you live in Austin, Texas, keep your calendar open for the last two weeks of September for a retreat for both men and women hosted by me and Stefan.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Were you baptized or raised in a particular religion but you left it or do not practice those traditions anymore? Do you feel not enough? Are you having trouble finding your tribe or the people you really connect with? Do you have experiences with dense or unexplained energies that you can’t explain?   Christina’s Question: Christina recently discovered her core wounding and would like guidance on how to protect herself as she treads along the vulnerable path to self-discovery.   Christina’s Key Insights and Ahas: She yearns for the approval of others. She is a people pleaser. She is leaning into being an empath. She sometimes feels a dark masculine energy. She was raised as a Mormon but left the religion when she was 19. She has always been a sensitive person. She feels alone in her spirituality. There was sexual abuse within her family. She is searching for her tribe. She is in a spiritual crisis.   How to Get Over It and On With It: She needs to take back her power and deepen her spiritual practice. She needs to stay out of judgment.  She needs to practice chanting the sound ‘hu.’ She needs to ask for a spiritual teacher who can support her emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. She needs to embrace a conscious breakup plan from the Mormon religion. She needs to consider joining other empaths for my Spring Retreat.   Takeaways: Practice the meditation from this podcast. If you have unresolved issues from a religion you don’t practice anymore, consider how you can bring completion and healthy closure to it. Explore how you can make an intention to deepen your spiritual practice and connection to your higher power this year.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community. To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler Christine’s Personal Mastery Course Christine’s Signature Retreat Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback Get on the Waitlist to Be Coached on this Podcast

In this last episode to support you in feeling supported as you walk into this next decade, Christine offers a more feminine approach and guided meditation for clarifying goals.  This is a must listen if you are feeling a call to be more repetitive and inspired.