Adult Child

Andrea Ashley

Adult Child dives deep into the lasting effects of growing up in dysfunctional families—unpacking complex and relational trauma, codependency, toxic shame, and addiction patterns with raw vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity.Hosted by Andrea Ashley, a recovering shitshow with 17 years sober, each episode shares unfiltered insights, expert conversations, and practical tools to heal your nervous system and break free from the cycles that hold you back.Whether you’re an adult child of alcoholics or from a dysfunctional family, navigating toxic relationships, or healing your inner child, this is your no-BS space for healing. New episodes every Wednesday & Saturday.And damn the join The Shitshow Healing Community for live support groups and connection with fellow cycle breakers.

Episodes

Mentioned books

Jan 17, 2026 • 42min

Shitshow Saturday #187 - Same Family, Different Childhoods (Amy & Kristie)

Jan 14, 2026 • 1h

213: The Truth About Estrangement: Boundaries, No Contact & Grief w/ Dr. Sharon Martin

If you keep getting re-triggered by the people you’re trying to heal from, healing starts to feel impossible. This episode unpacks when taking space is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.Dr. Sharon Martin is a psychotherapist and author specializing in helping adult children recover from difficult childhoods. She's passionate about helping adults overcome the effects of narcissistic and emotional abuse, learn to set boundaries, and develop self-worth. She writes extensively about codependency, perfectionism, and healthy relationships, including the popular blog Conquering Codependency for Psychology Today. Dr. Martin is the author of four self-help books, including The Better Boundaries Workbook and Cutting Ties with Your Parents.✨ What this episode explores:Estrangement as Nervous System Safety — Why no contact can be right choice when repeated interactions keep pulling you back into trauma responses.Boundaries That Aren’t Just Walls — How healthy boundaries can function like a gate you control, letting you adjust access based on emotional safety, behavior, and what your body is telling you in real time.The Guilt Trap and Family Conditioning — What makes going no contact feel “wrong” even when it’s necessary, and how scapegoating, obligation, and shame keep adult children stuck in roles they’ve outgrown.Grief for the Parent You Didn’t Get — How estrangement often brings a specific kind of grief where you’re not just mourning the relationship, you’re mourning the hope that your parent will ever be able to show up differently.Explaining Yourself vs Protecting Yourself — Why giving explanations to emotionally immature or unsafe parents can backfireSelf-Trust as the Real Recovery Skill — How healing often comes down to rebuilding trust in your own judgment so you can reassess contact over time— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Jan 10, 2026 • 40min

SHITSHOW SATURDAY #186 - The Many Faces of the Inner Critic

Jan 7, 2026 • 1h 10min

212: The Survive and Thrive Spiral: Combining IFS and Polyvagal Theory w/ Ruth Culver

True healing begins when we stop choosing between our nervous system and our inner narrative—and start listening to both.Ruth Culver is a certified IFS practitioner and IFS constellations facilitator who has brought her own innovative contributions to the field, including the Survive and Thrive Spiral and her Drawing into Self approach. Her own trauma healing journey began when serious health issues led her to seek out hypnotherapy - first as a client, and eventually as a certified practitioner herself. She eventually found IFS and realized it offered her a compassionate framework to gently understand and integrate her parts, making it a natural fit for her healing journey.✨ What this episode explores:▪️The Survive & Thrive Spiral — How Ruth mapped survival states as a spiral to de-shame your reactions and show the real path from activation to shutdown to regulation.▪️Freeze Isn’t Collapse — Why “deer-in-headlights” freeze is different from floppy shutdown, and what that distinction reveals about fragmentation and the “reservoir” of unprocessed exile feelings.▪️Drawing Into Self — How externalizing parts through intuitive scribbling lowers overwhelm, creates instant witnessing, and helps protectors soften without forcing them to “step back” inside your body.▪️Story Follows State — What changes when you stabilize the body enough to hear your parts clearly, so your nervous system isn’t driving the narrative while your mind tries to explain it after the fact.▪️Multiple Parts, One Moment — How fawning, fighting, fleeing, and numbing can all cycle in the same trigger, and why mapping the whole cast (instead of picking one) can unlock the stuck “nothing works” exile underneath.THE SURVIVE / THRIVE SPIRAL-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Jan 3, 2026 • 44min

210: Dissociated & Disconnected - When Feeling Nothing Was How You Survived w/ Andy Carlson

When childhood trains you to make yourself invisible, your body learns to go numb. And your mind becomes the place you live — because it’s the only place you can. This episode explores how to rebuild safety from the inside out.Andy Carlson is a trauma coach, LIFT facilitator, and co-host of Time with Tim Fletcher. In this conversation, he opens up about growing up in a home where strict control and chronic criticism made “aliveness” feel unsafe — and disconnection became his default. He shares how the collapse of his marriage became the breaking point that forced him to confront shame, codependency, and the long road back to feeling, agency, and self-trust.✨ What this episode explores:▪️Invisible Child → Numb Adult — Why dissociation and emotional shutdown can be the cost of learning “don’t be seen, don’t be loud, don’t be human” in a rigid or shame-based home.▪️Dorsal Shutdown + Sympathetic Panic — How CPTSD can swing between collapse and over-control, leaving you feeling “blank” in your body while your mind stays stuck in hypervigilant chaos.▪️State Precedes Story — Why your nervous system creates the conditions for spiraling thoughts, and how the brain builds a narrative to match dysregulation (instead of telling you the truth).▪️Somatic Reconnection That Doesn’t Overwhelm You — How slow, structured somatic practices rebuild body awareness when stillness feels unsafe, and why “just meditate” often backfires for trauma survivors.▪️Widening Your Window of Tolerance — How small, consistent “micro-doses” of sensation build distress capacity over time, so your system can feel more without slamming into numbness.▪️Agency, Boundaries & Healthy Aggression — Why fawning and shutdown often require reclaiming assertive energy, and how embodying a real “no” can rebuild self-trust from the inside out.-----------------------⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dec 13, 2025 • 37min

SHITSHOW SATURDAY #182 - Healing Your Inner Teenager

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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