The Calm Confidence Podcast (Formerly the "Therapy on Tap Podcast")

For many of us, the scariest part of social anxiety is not simply talking to people, it is the fear that other people will soon find out just how anxious we are. This consumes us with embarrassment and shame, and causes us to try to hide our symptoms. We think hiding our symptoms will make us feel more confident but in reality it only makes us more self conscious and obsessed with our symptoms. In this video I explore how to turn this on it's head. Join the FREE Newsletter: https://subscribepage.io/pknKh0Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Services - Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Leigh, E., Chiu, K., & Clark, D. M. (2021). Self-focused attention and safety behaviours maintain social anxiety in adolescents: An experimental study. PLOS ONE, 16(2), e0247703. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0247703Hofmann, S. G. (2007). Cognitive factors that maintain social anxiety disorder: A comprehensive model and its treatment implications. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 36(4), 193-209. https://doi.org/10.1080/16506070701421313

Here are 5 very practical ways to keep the conversation going when you don't know what to say. When we feel socially anxious we overcomplicate conversations. There is no deep or mysterious way to get a conversation off the ground, we just need to say SOMETHING! As the conversation progresses, we often find ourselves lost in our mind trying to come up with something to say, instead of simply allowing our brain to give us something to say. In this video I explain how you can vastly improve your conversation skills in just a few simple steps! #socialanxiety #socialskills #confidence Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Coaching - Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

Rejection stings, but it doesn't have to consume us. In this video I discuss how to overcome our fear of rejection and learn how to prevent the downward spiral that it often leads to. If you struggle with confidence or low self esteem, it can be quite common to be sensitive to rejection. This video will give you practical tools you can use to become more resilient to the pain of rejection. Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Coaching - Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Baer, R. A., Smith, G. T., Hopkins, J., Krietemeyer, J., & Toney, L. (2006). Using self‐report assessment methods to explore facets of mindfulness. Assessment, 13(1), 27–45. https://doi.org/10.1177/1073191105283504Ghonchehpour, A., Forouzi, M. A., Dehghan, M., Ahmadi, A., Okou, G., & Tirgari, B. (2023). The effect of mindfulness-based stress reduction on rejection sensitivity and resilience in patients with thalassemia: A randomized controlled trial. BMC Psychiatry, 23(1), 281. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04875-3Peters, J. R., Eisenlohr-Moul, T. A., & Smart, L. M. (2016). Dispositional mindfulness and rejection sensitivity: The critical role of non judgment. Personality and Individual Differences, 93, 125-129. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2015.06.029Troy, A. S., & Mauss, I. B. (2017). Cognitive reappraisal and acceptance: Effects on emotion, physiology, and perceived cognitive costs. Current Opinion in Psychology, 17, 1–6. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2017.06.006 (PMC 6188704)

Social anxiety can be a long battle, which is why you need patience and self compassion. Along the way will be struggles, embarrassing moments, uncomfortable feelings and failed social attempts. It can be very tempting to pack it in as soon as things get difficult, but like most things, real change comes with persistence. Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Coaching - Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Moser, J. S., Dougherty, A., Mattson, W. I., Katz, B., Moran, T. P., Guevarra, D., Shablack, H., Ayduk, Ö., Jonides, J., Berman, M. G., & Kross, E. (2017). Third-person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation without engaging cognitive control: Converging evidence from ERP and fMRI. Scientific Reports, 7, Article 4519.Ayduk, Ö., Kross, E., & others. (2010). Implications of spontaneous self-distancing for adaptive self-reflection when facing negative events. Psychological Science, 21(8), 1166-1174.Libby, L. K., Eibach, R. P., & Gilovich, T. (2005). Here’s looking at me: The effect of memory perspective on assessments of personal change. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88(1), 50-62.

This was another older video from Youtube that I never uploaded.I spent a large portion of my life attempting to extract respect and confidence from other people, only to realize this is a loop that never ends. We spend so much time focused on what other's think is acceptable, that we don't pause to ask ourselves what is meaningful to us. I someone out there find this helpful. Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Coaching - Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

The worst part of social anxiety is not necessarily the symptoms, it's the how much it robs us of our life. In this video I discuss the effects social anxiety has on our dating life, relationships, work life and general satistfaction. Stick around to the end to find out how you can start turning this fear into motivation so you can finally take back your life. Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:https://clinical-practice-and-epidemiology-in-mental-health.com/VOLUME/17/PAGE/224/FULLTEXT/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0887618515300414https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7028452/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6448478/

This is another older youtube video I never uploaded to the podcast.In this episode, I explore what I think is the biggest mistake people with social anxiety make; focusing too much on improving social skills. Sometimes our attempts to become better at socializing perpetuates our obsessiveness and constant self criticism. Instead, let's focus on the underlying fear of rejection and embarrassment. Can we accept that sometimes we will make mistakes and make a fool of ourselves?Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

Another older video from youtube that I never uploaded to the podcast.We often fall off our path out of fear of judgment from others and we forget the fact that our life is ours to live and no one else's. The irony is that the people judging us are often only judging us because they are unsatisfied with their own lives. After all, who has time to judge others if they are focused on themselves.Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

This was a youtube video I uploaded back in February that I forgot to add to the podcast. At the end of the video I mention a follow up episode called "Depression Changes You." If you're interested in listening to that episode you can find it on the podcast homepage, dated Feb 10.Forgiveness is never easy, especially when it's time to forgive ourselves. We forget that the person we were in the past is not the person we are now. We cannot torture ourselves for making poor decisions when we were not in a good headspace. No one makes good decisions well they are not doing well mentally. When we are suffering we make decisions that helps us survive, not thrive. Future planning is a luxury for those who are in a good place. It's time to let go and forgive yourself.Interested in Coaching? - https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceYou can also follow me on Youtube, TikTok and Instagram on the same link.

In this episode I explore the role of negativity bias in social anxiety. We often believe we have an objective understanding of ourselves, when in reality our narrative shapes everything we see. In this episode I will challenge you to challenge yourself and your beliefs about yourself and the world. Maybe we've got this thing all wrong.Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Hertel, P. T., Brozovich, F., Joormann, J., & Gotlib, I. H. (2008). Biases in interpretation and memory in generalized social phobia. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 117(2), 278–288. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.117.2.278 Beard, C., & Amir, N. (2010). Negative interpretation bias mediates the effect of social anxiety on state anxiety. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 34(3), 292–296. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-009-9258-6Johnston, C. R., Quarmley, M., Nelson, B. D., Helion, C., Murty, V. P., & Jarcho, J. M. (2023). Social feedback biases emerge during recall but not prediction and shift across the development of social anxiety. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 120(52), e2308593120. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2308593120