Scott H. Young, author of Get Better at Anything, joins us to demystify the true essence of learning, improvement, and mastery, shedding light on how parents can guide their teens to excel both academically and personally.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesParents face the continual challenge of helping their teens become proficient learners. With teens constantly navigating the realms of academics, sports, and personal interests, understanding how they can master new skills is invaluable. So how can we, as parents, support our teens in their quest for mastery—whether it's in school subjects, sports, or their personal hobbies?This week we have the privilege of speaking with Scott H. Young, author of Get Better at Anything. Scott is an expert in the domains of learning and mastery, best known for his pioneering research and practical guides on how individuals can achieve excellence in various life fields. With a background deeply intertwined with education due to his parents being teachers, Scott’s insights are grounded in both personal and professional realms.In this episode, we uncover effective strategies to help teens become better learners and improve their skills more efficiently. Scott shares fascinating insights about retrieval practice—a method that solidifies memory retention better than repeated exposure. While traditional beliefs suggest problem-solving without guidance builds deep understanding, Scott reveals how observing and emulating can often yield better results.Mastery Through ExamplesFor Scott, learning isn’t just about trial and error; it’s about studying examples and getting comprehensive practice. The perfect balance involves ‘See, Do, and Feedback’—a cycle that ensures effective learning. Scott also touches on cognitive load theory, explaining how our limited working memory plays a role in learning and offers practical advice for leveraging this understanding to aid teens in their academic endeavors.Failing ForwardFacing challenges is essential for growth, but Scott emphasizes the need to strike a balance between challenges and successes. Early failure without appropriate support can demotivate teens. Instead, Scott advocates for building confidence through small wins before presenting more complex challenges. This method not only helps teens stay motivated but also prepares them to handle tougher problems with resilience.Creating Practice LoopsA significant part of Scott’s methodology is designing practice loops. Ensuring that teens get enough variability in their practice sessions is crucial for long-term retention and generalization of skills. Rather than sticking to blocked practice where the focus is on one type of problem, Scott encourages mixed approaches to help teens become flexible and adept problem solvers in various contexts.Fear and LearningFear is another major obstacle in the learning process. Whether it's test anxiety or fear of public speaking, these emotions take up cognitive resources that could be better used for problem-solving. Scott discusses exposure therapy as a way to help teens gradually face their fears, thereby reducing their anxiety over time. He underscores that persistent effort in overcoming fears is key to long-term mastery and success.In the Episode…Our conversation with Scott yields numerous actionable strategies that can be beneficial for parents looking to boost their teens' learning potential. Beyond the highlights mentioned above, we also delve into:- Why early assessment in classrooms can be demotivating and how mastery learning can help.- The importance of creativity and productivity in achieving mastery.- Strategies for unlearning bad habits and adopting better techniques.- Real-world examples of how small adjustments in teaching techniques can lead to big improvements.For those interested in diving deeper, you can explore more of Scott’s insights at scotthyoung.com where you can also find his books and podcast. Tune into this episode to learn how to foster an environment conducive to mastering new skills and to encourage your teens to reach their full potential. Don't forget to share, subscribe, and review so more parents can benefit from these insights!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Alex Edmans, author of May Contain Lies, delves into how confirmation bias and belief polarization skew our perceptions, offering tips for parents to help their teenagers navigate misinformation and think critically.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesIn today's digital world, misinformation spreads faster than ever. Even as adults, we often find ourselves believing things that aren't true or are more nuanced than we think. The issue becomes even more critical when considering how we raise teenagers to be discerning and truth-seeking individuals.How do we guide teens to differentiate fact from fiction in a sea of misleading information? How can we teach them to critically evaluate the plethora of claims they encounter daily—whether in social media, news, or even school? The ability to critically question and analyze data is a vital skill, and it’s more crucial now than ever.To delve into the complexities of misinformation and how to tackle it, we're speaking with Alex Edmans, a professor of finance at London Business School. Alex's TED Talk, "What to Trust in a Post-Truth World," has resonated with millions, and his book, May Contain Lies, explores how biases impact our understanding and decision-making processes. With a keen focus on both finance and everyday life, Alex offers deep insights and practical advice on how to navigate a world filled with skewed information.Understanding Confirmation BiasConfirmation bias is a significant issue that affects how we process information. Alex highlights that we often accept information that aligns with our pre-existing beliefs uncritically, while scrutinizing information that contradicts our views. This is prevalent not just in finance and economics, Alex's fields of expertise, but also in everyday topics like parenting and healthcare.For instance, Alex describes how widely accepted recommendations like exclusive breastfeeding may not be as beneficial as we think. While these claims are backed by reputable sources like the World Health Organization, they may overlook other contributing factors like socio-economic status and family support systems. By critically examining the research and understanding its context, we can make more informed decisions and avoid unnecessary guilt.Tackling Black and White ThinkingAnother prevalent bias Alex addresses is black and white thinking, where we categorize things as entirely good or bad with no gray areas. This kind of thinking is aided by simple, extreme messages that go viral on social media but often lack nuance. Alex illustrates this with the example of the Atkins diet, which gained popularity for its extreme stance on carbohydrates, even though it oversimplifies the role of carbs in a balanced diet.For parents, understanding and combating these biases can help in guiding teenagers to see beyond black and white categorizations. Encouraging them to reason through their beliefs and understand the nuances can foster more critical and balanced thinking.Solutions: The Ladder of MisargumentTo help teenagers and parents alike navigate misinformation, Alex introduces the "Ladder of Misargument," a framework that breaks down common types of misinformation into four categories:A statement is not a fact: Understand the context and accuracy of the information.Facts are not data: Ensure the facts are representative and not isolated.Data is not evidence: Look for causation, not just correlation.Evidence is not proof: Recognize that evidence may not be universal or applicable in all contexts.Creating a Culture of Inquiry and DialogueEncouraging skeptical thinking in teenagers isn't just about teaching them to question authority but creating a culture where it's safe to ask questions and express doubts. Alex discusses how a high-power hierarchy can stifle honest communication and the flow of ideas. By reducing hierarchical barriers and fostering open dialogue, whether in families or workplaces, we can create environments where critical thinking thrives.Parents can also model this behavior by openly discussing their thought processes and demonstrating how to critically analyze information. Encouraging teenagers to explain their viewpoints in detail can help them see the limitations of their own understanding and foster a habit of thorough investigation.In the Episode…Alex shares a wealth of insights on how to cultivate critical thinking and avoid common pitfalls of misinformation. Tune in to learn about:How sports results can mysteriously affect the stock marketThe importance of asking detailed questions and listeningWays to foster healthy debate within familiesHow to identify and mitigate common biases in everyday decisionsIf you enjoyed this week’s episode, you can find more from Alex on his website, alexedmans.com, or follow him on LinkedIn under the username A Edmans. Don’t forget to share and subscribe, and we’ll see you next week!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Cara Fitzpatrick, author of The Death of Public School, joins us to discuss the history and implications of school choice in America. We delve into how school vouchers, charter schools, and education savings accounts redefine public education.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesThe structure and definition of public education in America are changing rapidly. With more states adopting programs that allow parents to divert public funds to private and charter schools, the idea of what constitutes a public education is being fundamentally reexamined. These changes have far-reaching implications for our communities, teachers, and children.To explore this critical topic, we’re joined by Cara Fitzpatrick, editor at Chalkbeat and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. Cara’s deep dive into the origins and effects of school choice is encapsulated in her book, The Death of Public School. Her work offers a comprehensive look at how we've arrived at the current state of education and what it means for the future.Origins of School ChoiceCara traces the beginnings of school choice back to Florida, a significant testing ground for charter schools and voucher systems. The concept hinges on the principle that public money should follow the student, whether they attend a public, private, or charter school. This notion became particularly contentious with the introduction of education savings accounts, offering unprecedented flexibility in how public funds can be utilized for a student’s education.Navigating the Varieties of School ChoiceSchool choice programs can take various forms, such as school vouchers and charter schools. While charter schools operate with public funding but independent management, vouchers allow parents to use public money for private school tuition, including religious institutions. Cara breaks down these different models, highlighting the nuances and controversies associated with each.Historical Context and Its ImplicationsUnderstanding the history of public education helps contextualize today’s debates. From the vision of early American leaders like Thomas Jefferson to the contentious battles over school integration in the 1950s, Cara illustrates how the definition of public education has evolved. She emphasizes that this isn't just a new debate but a complex issue with roots in America's early history.Where Are We Now?School choice has grown significantly, with programs now available in over half of the states. However, this growth hasn’t come without challenges. Cara explains how the initial waves of school choice, such as those in the 1950s used to resist desegregation, differ significantly from today’s initiatives. She also addresses the legal battles that have shaped the current landscape, including key Supreme Court decisions that have supported the use of public funds for religious education under specific conditions.Future of Public EducationThe future of public education is uncertain but seemingly headed towards more choice and less traditional public schooling. As Cara discusses, the recent push towards universal programs – accessible to all students regardless of income or need – indicates a shift supported by current political and judicial climates. In the Episode…In our conversation with Cara, we explore various other topics, including:- The economic arguments for and against school choice- The potential for discrimination within choice programs- The role of competition in improving public schools- Historical and contemporary court rulings impacting school choice- Predicting the future landscape of American public educationCara’s deep research and thoughtful insights offer a balanced view on a complex issue. For a more detailed understanding, grab a copy of her book, The Death of Public School, and consider attending local school board meetings to stay engaged with how these changes might affect your community.For more thought-provoking conversations and expert insights, make sure to listen to this week’s episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Kate Parker, author of Force of Nature, joins us to discuss how to cultivate teen activism and empower them to raise their voices about vital issues. We explore the impact of authenticity in photography, the importance of encouraging teens to speak out, and practical tips for capturing meaningful moments with your camera.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesIn today’s digital age, teenagers are constantly bombarded with idealized images and messages on social media. Often, these images are meticulously curated and edited, setting unrealistic standards for beauty and success. For parents, this raises a crucial question: how can we help our teens rise above these false ideals and find their authentic voices?This week, we’re speaking with Kate Parker, a renowned photographer and author of several influential photo collections, including Strong is the New Pretty and her latest, Force of Nature. Kate’s work focuses on capturing the real, raw moments that highlight the true strength and beauty of young girls. By putting forward authentic and unpolished images, Kate encourages both teens and adults to embrace their genuine selves and to celebrate their unique voices.In our discussion, Kate shares the insightful journey behind her first book, inspired by her desire to present her daughters in a true and unfiltered light. The project started with personal portraits but grew into a celebrated movement as her authentic representations resonated globally. Kate’s book, Strong is the New Pretty, has been translated into multiple languages, proving that the message of unyielding authenticity transcends cultural boundaries.Fostering Teen ActivismOne key theme in Kate’s latest book, Force of Nature, is empowering teens to raise their voices and advocate for change in their communities. Divided into sections—Find Your Voice, Use Your Voice, Sustain Your Voice, and Amplify Your Voice—the book showcases young girls who have taken impactful actions, from writing op-eds to suing the government, to advocate for causes they believe in.Kate underscores the importance of parents actively encouraging their children to speak out. When kids come to us with complaints or concerns, we should nudge them toward advocacy by asking how they might change things and offering our support. Parents can play a crucial role in providing the initial push that helps teens realize their potential for making a difference.Capturing Real MomentsKate’s photography captures the essence of real experiences, whether it’s a girl fully immersed in her sport or kids engaging in community advocacy. To achieve this, she uses techniques that facilitate authentic expressions, like giving kids fun tasks or making them laugh naturally during a shoot. This approach not only makes for compelling images but also reinforces the idea that genuine, unfiltered moments are the most beautiful.Speaking on giving advice for at-home photography, Kate recommends avoiding posed and forced smiles. Instead, she suggests crafting moments that elicit genuine joy and interactions. She also shares technical tips, such as shooting during the golden hour or using natural light from windows, to elevate the quality of photos.Encouraging Passion and InclusivityThroughout the episode, Kate offers insights into how diverse backgrounds and experiences contribute to the rich tapestry of voices showcased in her books. Stories of girls who faced challenges—whether due to disabilities, societal norms, or personal adversities—highlight the resilience and ingenuity required to advocate for change. For parents, this serves as a potent reminder to foster an inclusive environment where every child feels valued and capable of making a difference.In the Episode…Our conversation with Kate Parker dives deep into multiple aspects of raising confident, outspoken teens. Here’s a glimpse of what we cover:- How to encourage teens to find and use their voices- The impact of authentic photography on self-esteem- Practical tips for capturing meaningful photos at home- Stories of girls making significant changes in their communities- The importance of passion and confidence in teensIf you’re looking to inspire your teen to become a proactive changemaker or want to improve your family photography skills, this episode is a goldmine of insights. For more from Kate Parker and to follow her ongoing work, visit her Instagram at @katetparker. Don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast for more enlightening interviews and parenting tips. Thanks for tuning in!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Diane Ehrensaft, author of "The Gender Creative Child," joins us to discuss the complexities of gender identity and expression in today's teens, offering parents insights on how to support their children through gender exploration and creativity.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesWhen it comes to raising teenagers, one of the most complex and delicate topics parents may face is the evolving concept of gender. In today’s world, many young people are exploring gender creativity, challenging traditional norms, and seeking to express their true selves in ways that might be daunting for their parents to understand. Navigating this landscape requires empathy, open-mindedness, and reliable information to help ensure that teens feel supported and validated in their journey.For parents, the idea of kids thinking beyond the male-female binary or even the spectrum can seem overwhelming. Gender today is more like a web, interwoven with threads of nature, nurture, and culture. Each child's gender identity and expression are unique and evolving, often influenced by their experiences and interactions. How can parents help their teens weave these complexities into a coherent and authentic sense of self?To shed light on this, we’re joined by Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, a developmental and clinical psychologist, the co-founder and director of the Child and Adolescent Gender Center, and an associate professor of pediatrics. Diane’s work has been featured across numerous reputable platforms, including the New York Times and NPR. She’s also the author of "The Gender Creative Child." Diane is here to offer her expert insights on how teens and their families can navigate gender creativity.Understanding the Gender WebDiane introduces the concept of the "gender web," a more dynamic and multi-dimensional way to think about gender, beyond linear spectrums and binary boxes. Using three major threads—nature (biological aspects), nurture (environmental influences), and culture (societal norms)—Diane suggests that every person's gender web is uniquely woven, constantly evolving over time. This web model helps us appreciate the complexities of gender and underscores the importance of allowing space for this evolution in our children.Breaking Away from BoxesInstead of confining identities to rigid categories like "boy" or "girl," a more flexible approach can be incredibly liberating for kids. Diane shares fascinating anecdotes of children who have described themselves using terms like "gender hybrid" and "gender smoothie." These self-descriptions reflect an understanding of gender that goes beyond traditional norms. Diane emphasizes the importance of respecting both the fluid and stable aspects of a child's gender identity.Apples, Oranges, and Fruit SaladsDiane explains different gender identities through her "apples, oranges, and fruit salads" metaphor. Children who have a clear, stable gender identity from an early age are the "apples." "Oranges" are those who explore their gender creatively but without a persistent disconnect from their assigned gender. "Fruit salads" mix both gender identity and expression in unique ways. Understanding these distinctions can help parents better support their teens, regardless of where they fall on this spectrum.The Role of Parents: De-centering and SupportParenting a gender-creative child also involves self-reflection and emotional intelligence. Diane discusses the importance of "de-centering," where parents set aside their own ambitions and expectations to better listen to and support their child’s expressed needs and identities. Recognizing and addressing our own unconscious biases and microaggressions is also critical to fostering a supportive environment.Medical InterventionsFor parents considering medical support for their gender-creative teens, Diane provides clarity on the types and timing of medical interventions, including puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy. These interventions are carefully considered and catered to each individual, with a rigorous assessment process to ensure they are in the best interest of the child's welfare.In the Episode...Dr. Diane Ehrensaft’s expertise offers a valuable guide for parents seeking to support their gender-creative children. In our conversation, we also discuss: - The importance of understanding and using the right terminology - How teens can explore their identities safely and responsibly - The cultural shifts influencing how we see gender today - The role of online communities and how they impact gender explorationIf you found this conversation enlightening, don’t miss out on Diane’s forthcoming book "Gender Explained," co-authored with Michelle Jerkowitz. Stay connected with Diane via her website, dianeehrensaft.com, for more insights. Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to share, subscribe, and join us next week.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Roy Richard Grinker, author of Nobody's Normal, How Culture Created the Stigma of Mental Illness, joins us to discuss the cultural history of mental illness stigma and how parents can create supportive environments for their teens to talk about their mental health.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesTalking about mental health can often feel like walking on eggshells. Despite growing awareness, there remains a significant challenge in how comfortably and openly people address issues surrounding mental illness. For parents of teens, understanding and navigating this intricate subject is crucial to ensuring their children feel supported and understood during such formative years.If we want to foster environments where teenagers feel safe discussing their mental health struggles, we must first understand the roots of the stigma surrounding mental illness. Historically, mental health problems have been shrouded in shame and secrecy, which has deeply embedded these stigmas into our culture. But where did this stigma originate, and how can we begin to dismantle it in our families?To delve into this topic, we are joined by Roy Richard Grinker, a professor of anthropology and international affairs at George Washington University and the author of several insightful books, including Unstrange Minds and his latest, Nobody's Normal, How Culture Created the Stigma of Mental Illness. Richard brings a unique perspective on how societal and cultural factors have shaped our views on mental health.In this episode, we explore the history of mental illness stigma, examining why mental health issues have been viewed so negatively. Richard explains how the intersection of culture, historical events, and societal norms has contributed to this pervasive problem. We learn about surprising instances from history, like the unexpected origins of common breakfast foods created to prevent masturbation, and how these reflect broader societal attitudes towards mental health.Changing Perspectives On Mental IllnessOne of the eye-opening stories Richard shares is about a student who described the best day of her freshman year as the day she was diagnosed with ADHD. This diagnosis provided her validation and understanding of her struggles, leading us to discuss how diagnosis can both liberate individuals and unintentionally place the burden solely on them, overlooking societal and environmental factors.Richard draws attention to the limitations of viewing mental health issues through a purely biological lens without considering the broader social context. He sheds light on the "social model of disability," emphasizing that many challenges attributed to personal failings are often exacerbated, if not created, by societal structures and cultural expectations.The Dual Illness of Mental Health StigmaA crucial point raised in our conversation is the "double illness" experienced by those with mental health issues. Not only do they suffer from the symptoms of their condition, but they also bear the additional weight of societal judgment and stigma. Richard highlights sobering examples, such as politicians avoiding therapy to not appear weak, which perpetuates the stigma and discourages honesty about mental health struggles.We also touch on historical perspectives, including how mental health was perceived during slavery and the impact of differing care models between the North and the South. These insights help illustrate how cultural and systemic factors have long influenced the treatment and perception of mental illness.The Evolution of Mental Health TerminologyOur discussion then moves into how the terminology around mental health has evolved, sometimes reflecting shifts in cultural attitudes. From outdated terms like hysteria to more contemporary ones like conversion disorder, we see how language both shapes and is shaped by societal understanding.Richard and I delve into the implications of more recent changes, such as the removal of Asperger's syndrome from the American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual. He argues that these changes are often driven more by cultural needs than by new scientific discoveries.Creating an Open Dialogue in Your HomeTo conclude, we focus on practical steps parents can take to create a supportive environment where their teens feel comfortable discussing mental health issues. Richard emphasizes the importance of normalizing these conversations and being proactive in asking teens about their emotional well-being, just as one would inquire about physical health.In the Episode…Richard's insights are invaluable for anyone looking to understand and dismantle the stigma around mental illness. In addition to the topics discussed above, we also cover:- How wars have historically progressed mental health care- The impact of societal norms on the perception of gender and mental health- Modern approaches to diagnosing and treating mental health issues- How historical and cultural contexts can influence mental health labels and treatmentsRichard’s book, Nobody's Normal, offers a profound look into how culture shapes our understanding of mental health, and our conversation provides practical advice for parents striving to support their teens. Listen to the full episode for more!Don’t forget to share and subscribe to Talking to Teens, and we’ll see you next week!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Todd Baratz, author of How To Love Somebody Without Losing Your Mind, explains how parents can navigate conflict in their relationships with their teens and partners, fostering true intimacy and realistic expectations.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesNavigating relationships with teenagers can be incredibly challenging. There's often conflict, emotional rollercoasters, and moments when parents feel like they might lose their minds. But what if these hardships are an essential part of genuine intimacy? What if the idea that relationships should be free of conflict is setting us up for disappointment? Understanding these dynamics can transform the way we interact with our teens and partners, helping us build stronger, more connected relationships.In today's episode, we delve into these questions and more with Todd Baratz, a renowned sex therapist and author of How To Love Somebody Without Losing Your Mind. Todd's expertise is grounded in both professional practice and personal experience, making his insights relatable and actionable for parents looking to improve their relationships.Unrealistic Expectations and Their OriginsTodd points out that many of us grow up with unrealistic expectations about relationships, often rooted in fairytales and media. These perfectionistic ideals lead us to believe that true love should be effortless and devoid of conflict. When reality inevitably doesn't match up, we feel deeply disappointed. Todd explains how understanding and adjusting these expectations can make a significant difference in our relationships, whether with our partners or our teenagers.The Importance of Open ConversationsThrough conversations with his own parents, Todd learned that many of the relationship patterns he struggled with were inherited, rooted in intergenerational trauma. He emphasizes the importance of openly discussing family histories and personal stories with our teens, helping them understand that love and relationships are shaped by cultural and familial contexts. By fostering open and honest communication, parents can equip their teens with a more realistic view of relationships.Addressing Unrealistic Relationship Expectations in TeensMany parents wait until they notice their teens becoming sexually active or entering relationships to start important conversations about love and sex. Todd argues that it’s crucial to begin these discussions early, providing comprehensive education about relationships before issues arise. He suggests creating a relational environment where curiosity and open dialogue are encouraged. This proactive approach helps teens develop a healthy, realistic understanding of intimacy and relationships.Healthy Communication and Emotional ManagementHealthy communication is about more than using "I statements" and validating emotions. Todd and I discuss how real, healthy communication often involves discomfort and conflict, which are essential for growth. We talk about the concept of being "flooded" or overwhelmed with emotions and how parents and teens can learn to tolerate these intense feelings. By acknowledging and understanding these emotional experiences, we can navigate them more effectively and deepen our relationships.Differentiation and Developing IndependenceDifferentiation is the process of becoming more distinct as individuals while maintaining a close connection. Todd explains how encouraging teens to develop their own identities and fostering their independence is crucial. This process helps teens grow into confident individuals who can manage their relationships healthily. He also discusses how parents can model differentiation by maintaining their own interests and identities outside of their roles within the family.Addressing the Realities of IntimacyTrue intimacy requires a willingness to be uncomfortable and to hear what we might not want to hear. Todd emphasizes that healthy relationships involve work and are rarely perfect. By embracing this reality, parents can set a more realistic example for their teens, teaching them that good relationships are built through effort and resilience, not through seeking perfection.In the Episode...Join us to uncover insights about:- How pain and conflict are essential for intimacy- Realistic vs. unrealistic relationship expectations- The importance of open, honest conversations about family history- Techniques for managing emotional overwhelm - Encouraging teens’ independence while maintaining strong connections- Redefining healthy communication in relationshipsDon’t miss this enlightening episode with Todd Baratz, and remember to share and subscribe!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Kristina Kuzmic, author of I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, shares personal insights on handling teen depression, substance use, and the importance of connection over control in parent-child relationships.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesParenting a struggling teen comes with challenges that can often feel insurmountable. Whether you're facing issues like lying, substance use, tantrums, or even violence and aggression, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and at a loss for solutions. Understanding how to foster an environment where your child feels seen and supported—despite the chaos—can make a significant difference in both your lives.When Kristin Kuzmic's son began showing signs of severe depression and substance use during his teen years, she embarked on a journey to understand, support, and ultimately help him heal. Her story, detailed in her latest book, I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, offers a wealth of knowledge for parents in similar situations.Joining us on the show today, Kristina explains how her initial reluctance about sharing her journey turned into a powerful testimony of the strength and resilience required to parent a struggling child. With her son’s blessing and contribution, the book became a crucial resource for parents dealing with similar issues.Identifying Signs of StruggleKristina noticed her son's change in behavior around age 12—what began as typical teenage mood swings escalated into serious signs of depression. From isolating behaviors to violent outbursts, Kristina's home became a battleground. Persistent therapy sessions seemed futile until the deeper issues at play were properly identified as clinical depression. Recognizing that these behaviors are symptoms of deeper issues, not simple teenage rebellion, was a vital step in addressing his struggles.Connection Over ControlA theme that permeates Kristina’s approach is the necessity of connection over control. She emphasizes that the first instinct of many parents—controlling behavior—is often counterproductive. Instead, she advocates for a connection-driven approach, focusing on truly understanding your child’s individual struggles and needs. Practical steps like using grounding techniques and calming your own responses to their actions can open up channels for genuine communication and support.The Power of Showing UpThroughout Luca’s most troubling times, Kristina maintained a constant presence in his life, even when he tried pushing her away. This persistent showing up helped build a foundation of trust that eventually allowed her son to turn to her in his moments of deepest need. This approach is a testament to the importance of being physically and emotionally present, even when it feels like you're not making a difference.Navigating the Maze of Mental Health SupportFrom psychiatric care to residential treatment centers, Kristina and her family navigated the complex mental health system. She shares valuable advice on making these decisions and finding the right support systems while emphasizing the importance of consent and involvement from the struggling teen.The Overlooked "Good" ChildWhile dealing with a struggling child, it’s easy to overlook siblings who appear to be coping well. Kristina warns parents against this oversight, sharing how her daughter suffered silently while maintaining a facade of stability. Ensuring that all children in a family receive the attention and support they need, regardless of apparent signs of distress, is crucial.Self-Care is Not SelfishKristina discusses the often neglected topic of parental self-care. Facing the immense emotional toll of supporting a struggling teen, parents might feel guilty for any self-indulgence or personal time. However, Kristina argues that taking care of oneself is also an essential part of being an effective, compassionate parent. Both her anecdotal experiences and the transformative advice from her friend Zach highlight that parents maintaining their personal well-being inadvertently lift a significant burden off their children.Communicate Clearly, Even with a SpouseAnother key element Kristina found beneficial was maintaining open communication with her spouse through daily emails. This practice allowed them to express emotions and concerns without confrontation, resulting in a stronger partnership and a united front in dealing with their son’s struggles.In the Episode...Throughout our conversation, Kristina offers profound wisdom and practical advice for parents dealing with similar challenges. Other topics we cover include:- How to address violent behavior stemming from depression- Strategies for creating a trust-based rather than control-based relationship- How enforcing too much consistency may actually be counterproductive- How to spot signs of hidden depression in “good” kidsIf you are a parent, guardian, or anyone concerned about a struggling teen, you won't want to miss this episode. Kristina Kuzmic’s book, I Can Fix This and Other Lies I Told Myself While Parenting My Struggling Child, provides a deeply personal yet universally valuable account. For more updates, Kristina can be found on social media under @KristinaKuzmic. Don’t forget to share and subscribe for more insightful episodes like this one!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride, joins us to discuss the essential do's and don'ts for parents when their teenager comes out as LGBTQ, offering practical advice on supportive communication, unlearning biases, and addressing mental health and substance use concerns.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesEvery parent wishes to be a source of unwavering support and love for their children. However, when a teenager comes out as LGBTQ, many parents find themselves unprepared and anxious about how to respond appropriately. Initial reactions can be critical, as negative responses may have lasting repercussions on the teen's mental health and self-esteem.Introducing Heather HesterOur guest today is Heather Hester, founder of Chrysalis Mama and the host of the podcast Just Breathe. Heather is also the author of the newly released book, Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen.With years of experience providing guidance and education to parents and allies of LGBTQ young adults, Heather is here to help us understand how to navigate this sensitive yet profoundly important process of supporting our LGBTQ teens.Why Initial Reactions MatterComing out is usually the culmination of a long and often painful period of internal conflict for teens. Heather explains that parents must recognize this journey and approach their teen's coming out with an emphatic and supportive response. Contrary to instinctive reactions like "Are you sure?", which can undermine a teen's confidence, parents should focus on affirmations such as "I love you," "Thank you for telling me," and "I've got you."Heather shares that parents often inadvertently project their own fears and biases into the conversation, which can be damaging. Instead, she advises parents to work through their own uncertainties separately and to avoid placing these burdens on their child.Understanding the Process and Stages of Coming OutIt's a common misconception that coming out is a single event. Heather clarifies that it’s a process composed of several stages, ranging from internal acknowledgment to public declaration and ongoing self-acceptance. By the time teens come out to their parents, they have typically already gone through significant internal struggles and are well past the initial phases of questioning and doubt.Recognizing this can help parents offer more meaningful support and understand the continued journey that lies ahead for their teen. This perspective also highlights the importance of ongoing support, as coming out is a recurring event each time a teen enters a new environment, such as changing schools or starting a new job.Different Identities and OrientationsHeather also emphasizes the importance of understanding the diverse range of identities within the LGBTQ spectrum. These include not just lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations, but also gender identities like transgender and non-binary, as well as terms like intersex and asexual. She encourages parents to ask open-ended questions like, "What does that mean to you?" to foster a supportive and educational conversation.Addressing Mental Health and Substance UseStatistics show that LGBTQ teens are at a higher risk for mental health issues and substance use due to societal pressures, bullying, and a lack of affirmation. Heather explains the importance of proactive dialogue about these issues and remaining vigilant for changes in behavior. It's essential for parents to provide a safe and accepting home environment while also being prepared to seek professional help if needed.Emphasizing Present AcceptanceOne of the most impactful ways parents can support their LGBTQ teen is by expressing unconditional love and acceptance for who they are right now. Often, in an attempt to be encouraging, parents may focus on their child's future potential, inadvertently sending the message that who they are currently is not enough. Heather advises celebrating the teen's current strengths and acknowledging their journey to date.Episode Highlights- The critical impact of initial reactions when a teen comes out- The process and stages of coming out for LGBTQ teens- Distinguishing between sexual orientation and gender identity- Addressing mental health and substance use concerns in LGBTQ teens- How to express unconditional love and acceptance for your teenIn the Episode….Heather's insights are invaluable for any parent navigating the complexities of their teen coming out. On top of the topics covered above, we also discuss: - Strategies for unlearning personal biases - The role of professional support in addressing mental health - How to create an affirming home environment - The importance of critical thinking in processing societal messages You can find more from Heather Hester on her website, chrysalismama.com, or listen to her podcast, Just Breathe. Don’t forget to share and subscribe to the podcast for more insightful conversations on parenting teens.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit, explains how parents can identify when their teens are bullshitting and how to raise teens who critically evaluate the information they encounter.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesAs teenagers grow and seek more independence, they can sometimes wield sophisticated tactics to avoid responsibility or twist the truth to their advantage. This behavior, often dubbed “bullshitting,” can make the challenging task of parenting even more complex. But how can parents distinguish between harmless exaggerations, outright lies, and simple bullshit?In today’s fast-paced and information-saturated world, parents must not only navigate their teen's emerging independence but also teach them to identify and resist bullshit from other sources. Teens today are bombarded with information from social media, peers, and other influences, making it crucial for them to develop robust critical thinking skills. But how can we ensure that they are equipped to navigate this complex landscape effectively?Enter John Petrocelli, author of The Life Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit. John is not just a researcher but an expert who has delved deeply into the concept of bullshit, differentiating it from lying and studying its impacts on individuals and society. With over a decade of empirical research under his belt, John’s work provides invaluable insights into how parents can better detect bullshit and teach their teens to be critical thinkers.Understanding BullshitJohn introduces us to the nuances that differentiate bullshitting from lying. While both bullshitting and lying involve deception, the bullshitter often doesn't care about the truth—they aim to sound knowledgeable or impressive irrespective of the facts. This indifference towards the truth can have severe implications, influencing our beliefs, memories, and critical decisions.John shares fascinating findings from his research, including how people are more prone to bullshit when they believe their audience lacks expertise or won’t scrutinize their claims. This is where parents can start: by fostering an environment where claims are questioned and critical thinking is actively encouraged.Why Bullshit MattersMany parents might underestimate the significance of their teen’s bullshit, thinking it’s benign or non-malicious. However, John highlights how unchecked bullshit can cloud judgment, lead to poor decision-making, and have lasting negative impacts. It’s essential for parents to stay vigilant and model skepticism, not to erode trust, but to nurture an atmosphere where truth and logical evaluation are paramount.Teaching Critical ThinkingIn the episode, John shares actionable tips for parents to encourage their teens to become critical thinkers: Ask Questions: Encourage teens to think through claims by asking them, “Is that true?” or “Why might that be incorrect?” Model Skepticism: Show by example how to question information and sources without being cynical. Create a Safe Space: Allow your teen to discuss their ideas and beliefs openly, ensuring they understand it’s okay to be wrong as long as they’re committed to finding the truth. John also emphasizes the importance of teaching teens to recognize their own susceptibilities to bullshit, which can come from a desire to fit in, sound knowledgeable, or alleviate awkwardness. By making critical thinking a fun and engaging activity, parents can help teens sharpen their bullshit detection skills without feeling attacked or dismissed.Tackling External Bullshit Teens today are also vulnerable to external bullshit from influencers, social media, and even certain educational resources. John encourages parents to: Discuss Case Studies: Go through dubious claims seen on social media together and break down why they might be misleading or false. Encourage Fact-Checking: Teach teens how to verify facts, check sources, and look for credible evidence before accepting claims as true. Daily PracticeTo make critical thinking an integral part of daily life, John suggests engaging in exercises that involve scrutinizing everyday statements and testing claims. This can start with simple issues—like evaluating advertising claims—and build up to more complex discussions, such as analyzing political statements or media reports.In the Episode…John and I explore a host of additional topics, including: Why experts aren’t always right How to constructively challenge bullshit without causing conflictThe relationship between confidence and bullshit susceptibilityThe role of personality traits in bullshitting tendencies By the end of this episode, you'll have gained valuable insights into fostering a bullshit-free environment and empowering your teenager with the critical thinking skills needed to navigate today’s world effectively. Don’t forget to subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert parenting insights!Tune in to this enlightening discussion and share it with fellow parents to help them navigate the tricky waters of teenage bullshit and critical thinking.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.