Ep 308: Empowerment Beyond Perfection

Dr. Abbie Marono, author of Work in Progress, joins us to explore the science of true empowerment and resilience. We discuss how parents can help teens handle shame healthily, build resilience, and develop a realistic sense of self-worth.

Full Show Notes

Empowerment is a term we often throw around, imagining it means feeling good about ourselves no matter what, or disregarding others’ opinions entirely. But the truth about empowerment is much deeper–and sometimes even a little messy. For teens facing pressures from all sides, understanding and practicing true empowerment is essential for long-term resilience and self-growth.

In this episode, we’re exploring how parents can really foster genuine empowerment in their teenagers. It’s not about ensuring teens never feel bad but about teaching them to build resilience by properly processing difficult emotions such as shame. Our guest, Dr. Abbie Marono, a renowned psychologist and speaker, delves into these concepts in her book, Work in Progress.

Recognizing and Embracing Shame

Shame often gets a bad rap–it’s something we’re inclined to avoid or suppress. However, as Abbie explains, shame is not inherently bad. It’s a signal from our brain indicating that something about our actions or behaviors isn’t aligning with our values or self-image. By understanding and addressing this emotion, we can actually move closer to empowerment, rather than hiding from ourselves. 

In our conversation, Abbie debunks the myth that empowerment is the absence of negative emotions or the armor that deflects all criticism. Instead, true empowerment comes from accepting our flaws and using our emotions as a guide for self-improvement. We explore how parents can observe their teens for signs of emotion suppression or escapism and gently guide them towards healthier coping strategies.

Resilience Through Emotional Awareness

Helping teens navigate their feelings and emotions is crucial, but understanding how to do this effectively can be challenging. Abbie introduces us to the concept of interoception–being in tune with our bodily sensations–and how this awareness can actually support better emotional regulation. For teens, learning to acknowledge their emotions without being overwhelmed by them is a key step towards building resilience and maintaining mental health.

We also discuss the pressing issue of helping teens handle the emotional toll of striving for success. Abbie highlights the importance of setting goals without tying our self-worth to them and provides insights on how to coach teens through this nuanced process. Teaching teens to focus on personal growth, rather than chasing an unattainable ideal of perfection, can cultivate a healthier, more sustainable mindset.

Creating A Supportive Environment

One of the most critical aspects of fostering genuine empowerment in teens is creating an open, supportive home environment where emotions are discussed openly and honestly. Abbie encourages parents to model emotional awareness by talking about their own feelings and handling life's stresses transparently. This, in turn, offers teens a blueprint for their own emotional expression and resilience.

We also touch on the role of teachers, mentors, and other important figures in a teen’s life. If a teen lacks a supportive home environment, these other adults can step in to provide a sense of security and guidance. Abbie shares her own experiences of relying on a supportive teacher during her tumultuous teenage years and how that shaped her path to psychological resilience and her eventual career.

In the Episode...

In addition to the topics discussed above, Abbie and I cover:

• The real definition of empowerment
• How perfectionism sabotages true resilience
• Why escapist behaviors can signal deeper issues
• Techniques to help teens process and accept their emotions

If you want to learn more about fostering genuine empowerment and resilience in your teen, you won’t want to miss this episode. For more from Dr. Abbie Marono, you can find her book, Work in Progress, The Road to Empowerment, the Journey Through Shame, and follow her on Instagram at @drAbbieofficial or visit her website at Abbiemarono.com. Tune in and don't forget to subscribe for more insights on parenting teens.