Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers cover image

Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

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Sep 22, 2024 • 26min

Ep 307: Teen Parenting Mistakes and Wisdom

Amy Betters-Midtvedt, author of You'll Make It, and They Will Too, joins us to share her experience raising five teenagers and offers practical advice on effective communication, handling dating and social media, and fostering mental health and responsibility.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesParenting teens can often feel like navigating a minefield, fraught with miscommunications, emotional upheavals, and a constant barrage of new challenges. Many parents find themselves at a loss, longing for the days when their greatest worry was whether their child would eat their vegetables or play nicely with others. When it comes to teenagers, the stakes often feel much higher, and the navigation significantly murkier.How do you maintain open lines of communication with your teen? What should you do when they break the rules or need direction? How can you help them deal with the pressures of social media, or the heartbreak of their first serious relationship?We’re joined this week by Amy Betters-Midtvedt, an author and seasoned parent who knows these challenges all too well. Amy is the author of the new book, You'll Make It, and They Will Too: Everything No One Talks About When You're Parenting Teens. With five teenagers of her own, Amy has seen and experienced the multitudes of teenage tribulations and triumphs. Her engaging narratives and insightful advice have garnered her over a million readers and appearances in publications like HuffPost and Parents Magazine.The Inspiration Behind the BookAmy reveals that the idea for her book came from personal moments of loneliness and confusion, wondering if other parents dealt with similar struggles. She highlights that conversations about parenting teens often fall silent, creating isolation for parents. Her goal with the book is to provide guidance and camaraderie, sharing wisdom and commiserative anecdotes in an easily digestible format.Effective Communication with TeensOne of the standout strategies Amy discusses is the power of noticing and naming positive behaviors. Highlighting what children are doing right can help reinforce those behaviors, whereas constantly pointing out what they’re doing wrong can tear down their self-esteem and create friction. As an educator, Amy understands the profound impact that language can have on shaping a child's self-perception and her approach has been both simple and transformative.Different Kids, Different RulesAmy’s experience with five unique children underscores the necessity of individualizing rules and expectations. She compares this to how different injuries require different treatments rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. This strategy is respectful of each child’s individual journey and needs, rather than trying to enforce uniformity. This personal touch helps keep the lines of communication open and reinforces trust within the family.Handling Dating and Romantic RelationshipsWhen it comes to teenage dating and relationships, Amy underscores the importance of being a supportive, non-judgmental, listening ear. Navigating teenage heartbreak is about empathy and presence, rather than rushing in to solve or fix their problems. She also emphasizes the importance of knowing when professional help is needed for mental health issues, drawing parallels to how we wouldn’t hesitate to seek medical help for a physical injury.Welcoming the Teen Coming Home from CollegeA special chapter discusses the unique challenges and joys of welcoming home a college student. Amy talks about managing expectations and understanding that the child who comes back from college may be different from the one who left. Supporting their newfound independence while maintaining house rules requires a delicate balance, but it’s a rewarding experience.In the Episode…Amy Betters-Midtvedt shares invaluable advice that any parent of a teen can benefit from:How to maintain open and effective communication with teensBalancing different rules for different kidsEmpathizing and supporting teens through heartbreakUnderstanding the importance of professional help for mental healthNavigating the dynamics when college kids return homeThis episode is packed with practical tips and heartfelt advice that make it a must-listen for anyone parenting teens. Amy’s experiences and insights offer a reassuring reminder that you’re not alone in the journey and that with understanding and love, you and your teen will indeed make it.For more of Amy's wisdom and updates, you can follow her on her blog at AmyBettersMidtvedt.com and connect with her on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @AmyBettersMidtvedt.Tune in to this enlightening episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more expert advice on navigating the teenage years!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Sep 15, 2024 • 23min

Ep 306: Mathematical Confidence for Parents

Ben Orlin, author of Math for English Majors, joins us to share how parents can understand and teach math effectively. We explore how mathematics can be approachable and enjoyable for both parents and teens.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesMath can often feel like an insurmountable challenge, especially for parents trying to help their teens with homework. Many parents remember their own struggles with math or may feel unqualified to help, particularly if they excelled in non-numerical subjects like English or history. It’s easy to feel lost when faced with the task of supporting a teen in a subject that stumped us years ago.However, the world of math doesn’t have to be daunting. Often, the barrier isn't the complexity of the subject itself, but the way it's been traditionally taught. Being able to assist and guide teens through their math-related challenges can create not only better academic outcomes but also strengthen your relationship with them. Shifting the way we understand and approach teaching math can have a tremendous impact on our teens' confidence and capabilities.This week, we’re diving into how parents can gain the mathematical insight they need to support their teens. We're joined by Ben Orlin, a seasoned math teacher, and author of the popular blog, Math with Bad Drawings. Ben's new book, Math for English Majors, focuses on making math accessible, even for those who have historically found the subject challenging. His unique approach, which includes the use of humorously "bad" drawings to explain mathematical concepts, aims to demystify math and make it more engaging for everyone.Math and Its Misunderstood NatureBen explains how math is often abstract and how its inherent structure can put people off, especially when taught in a rigid, one-size-fits-all classroom. His insights touch on the disconnect many feel when they believe they are "bad at math", and how the educational system's approach often heightens this feeling. He emphasizes the importance of leading with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to explore the subject differently.Bridging the Gap with Analogies and LanguageOne of the key strategies Ben discusses is drawing parallels between math and language. Just as language has structure and rules, so does math. By relating mathematical concepts to linguistic structures that are already familiar to many parents and teens, he opens new avenues for understanding. A key idea shared is the notion of thinking of equations not as rigid commands but as dynamic structures that can be "paraphrased" much like sentences in a story.Games: A Gateway to Mathematical ThinkingBen also delves into the use of games as a tool for making math more approachable. Games inherently involve strategic thinking and problem-solving, which are core components of mathematical thought. He suggests incorporating board games and puzzles into learning routines to help teens develop a natural comfort with mathematical reasoning without the pressure of formal education settings.Embracing the 'Bad Drawings' PhilosophyA significant part of Ben's teaching philosophy is embracing imperfection. His "bad drawings" method aims to lower the stakes and create a more inviting atmosphere for learning math. This approach removes intimidation and encourages teens to view mistakes as part of the learning process rather than failures.In the Episode….My discussion with Ben Orlin offers valuable insights and practical tips for parents looking to better support their teens in math:How to use everyday language to explain complex math concepts.The importance of shifting from a right-or-wrong mindset to understanding the process in math.Ways to incorporate games into learning to foster a fun and enriching math environment.Practical examples from Ben’s book and classroom experiences that demonstrate how math can be engaging and accessible.Additionally, Ben shares his broader thoughts on the essential role parents play in shaping their teens' educational experiences.For listeners interested in further exploring Ben’s methodologies and drawing some inspiration from his lighthearted yet effective approach, you can visit his blog at MathwithBadDrawings.com or follow him on social media platforms like Twitter (@BenOrlin) and Instagram (@MathwithBadDrawings).Tune in to this episode to revolutionize your approach to teaching math and build a more math-friendly household. Don’t forget to subscribe and share if you found this episode helpful!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Sep 8, 2024 • 24min

Ep 305: The Science of Teen Resilience

Tovah Klein, author of Raising Resilience, explains how parents can help their teens develop the resilience needed to overcome life’s inevitable setbacks, emphasizing the importance of anchoring, containing emotions, and fostering self-acceptance.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesYour teenager is bound to face setbacks. Whether it’s failing a test, missing out on a sports team, or experiencing heartbreak, every teen encounters hurdles. But what differentiates teens who rebound from those who falter? The science of resilience provides some answers.Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about how we cope with adversity, manage stress, and maintain emotional stability amidst challenges. Parents play a pivotal role in helping their teens develop resilience, supporting them through everyday setbacks and larger life crises. Understanding this, we delve into how parents can shape resilient teens who can navigate life's ups and downs.We’re joined by Dr. Tovah Klein, a psychology professor at Barnard College and author of the new book Raising Resilience: How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty. With extensive background in developmental psychology and firsthand experience from working in New York’s homeless shelters, Tovah offers practical insights for parents striving to build resilience in their children. Her work spans from understanding everyday stressors to handling major life events, providing a comprehensive framework for fostering resilience in teenagers.Anchors and Containers: Providing Security and StabilityTovah emphasizes the dual role of parents as both anchors and containers for their teens. Acting as an anchor means providing a consistent, reliable presence that lets teens know they have a safe space to return to. This is crucial as they navigate the world, testing their independence and coping with new challenges.As containers, parents help manage their teens’ emotional intensity. Adolescence is marked by heightened emotions and volatility, requiring parents to absorb and help regulate these feelings. Tovah explains that parents don’t need to solve every problem but should aim to provide stability and a calming presence.The Importance of RoutinesRoutines offer predictability, countering the inherent unpredictability of life. Consistent family routines, like regular dinners or bedtime rituals, provide teens with a secure structure. These routines also help parents notice when things are off—behavioral deviations can signal that something is wrong.When routines are disrupted, it’s an opportunity for parents to check in, offering support and understanding. Tovah discusses how creating these structured environments allows teens to feel more in control and less overwhelmed by external stressors.Effective Communication: Listening Over FixingOne of the key themes in Tovah’s approach is the importance of empathic listening. Teens often express their struggles through behavior rather than words, indicating that something might be wrong through irritability or withdrawal. Instead of trying to fix issues immediately, Tovah advises parents to validate their teen’s feelings and offer a listening ear.This doesn’t mean avoiding boundaries. Tovah suggests maintaining clear limits but being flexible and understanding about why a teen might be pushing against them. An example from the book involves a scenario where her son snapped at her about laundry, which symbolized larger underlying anxieties. Offering empathy and allowing space for teens to process their feelings can lead to more meaningful resolutions.Building Self-Acceptance Over Self-EsteemTovah differentiates between self-acceptance and self-esteem, noting that unbridled parental enthusiasm for achievements can make teens feel their worth is conditional on success. Instead, parents should encourage self-acceptance—helping teens appreciate who they are, including their imperfections and setbacks.True resilience involves facing failures and learning from them. Tovah emphasizes the need for teens to sit with their negative emotions, understand where they feel them physically, and process these feelings. This approach helps teens develop inner strength and emotional regulation skills, crucial components of resilience.In the Episode…My conversation with Tovah was filled with actionable insights for parents looking to foster resilience in their teenagers. We also cover:The concept of the “adolescent dilemma” and why it’s significant.Practical methods for helping teens process and manage failures.The distinction between controlling and supporting teens.Building a strong parent-teen relationship through everyday interactions.If you’re interested in raising resilient teens capable of facing life’s adversities, this episode is a must-listen. For more from Tovah Klein, you can visit her website at tovahklein.com or follow her on social media. Don’t forget to subscribe and share our podcast. We’ll see you next week! Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Sep 5, 2024 • 26min

Ep 304: Overcoming Unconscious Sexism as Parents

Jo-Ann Finklestein, author of Sexism and Sensibility, joins us to discuss the pervasive nature of unconscious gender biases, how they shape our daughters' lives, and what parents can do to raise empowered, resilient girls.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesIn our ever-evolving society, we like to believe that we’ve made significant strides in overcoming sexism. Despite our good intentions and progressive outlook, many of us unknowingly carry unconscious biases that we inadvertently pass onto our children. These gender biases can deeply affect our daughters, shaping their self-esteem, their future aspirations, and their interactions in ways we might not fully comprehend.It’s crucial for parents to recognize and confront these seemingly invisible biases, not only for the sake of their daughters’ futures but for the overall health of our society. So how can we ensure that our biases don’t shape our daughters’ perceptions of their own capabilities? What steps can we take to foster a generation of empowered, resilient girls who can shatter the age-old stereotypes holding them back?To help us navigate these questions, we’re joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finklestein, a clinical psychologist whose work has been highlighted in major outlets such as the New York Times and Harvard Business Review. Jo-Ann’s new book, Sexism and Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World, is an essential guide for parents striving to combat gender bias in their homes. Armed with her insights, we hope to provide practical strategies for breaking the cycle of unconscious sexism.Understanding Hidden BiasesDr. Jo-Ann Finklestein shares her personal experiences of growing up with three brothers where she first encountered gender bias. A simple gift like a pink hockey stick became a symbol of ingrained stereotypes. These early experiences shaped her understanding of gender norms, which she later explored academically at Harvard. Jo-Ann’s journey helped her understand how pervasive these biases are and how they subtly, yet adversely, affect girls from an early age. Jo-Ann explains how societal expectations shape our perceptions of boys and girls differently. Citing fascinating research, she reveals that parents often underestimate their daughters’ abilities from infancy. These biases, even when unintentional, lead to a lifelong impact on girls' self-esteem and confidence.Redefining Feminine TraitsJo-Ann discusses why traditional "feminine" traits are undervalued and how parents can help their children appreciate these qualities. She underscores the importance of valuing emotional intelligence, empathy, and cooperation just as much as traditionally "masculine" traits like assertiveness and competitiveness. By changing our perspective on these traits, we can help our daughters develop a more rounded and fulfilling sense of self.Shifting Relationship NarrativesOne pivotal aspect of Jo-Ann’s book is how cultural narratives around romance and relationships often place girls in passive roles. She argues that this dynamic not only stunts emotional growth but also impacts future adult relationships. Jo-Ann encourages parents to teach both their daughters and sons the importance of mutual respect and shared responsibility in romantic relationships. Discussing practical case studies, Jo-Ann provides insight into helping girls maintain their agency and assertiveness, even within a dating context. She emphasizes the need for open communication about love being an action, rather than just a feeling.Handling Appearance and ObjectificationJo-Ann tackles the complex issue of appearance and self-objectification. She discusses the importance of helping girls understand that their value is not determined by their looks. By focusing on what their bodies can do rather than how they look, parents can nurture their daughters' body confidence. She offers actionable advice on dealing with comments about appearance and encourages parents to emphasize their daughters' abilities and intelligence.Navigating Anger and Emotional ExpressionOne of the recurring themes in Jo-Ann’s book is anger and its suppression in girls. She explains how societal norms discourage girls from expressing anger, leading to internalized pain and health problems. Jo-Ann shares stories from her practice to illustrate how repressed anger manifests physically and emotionally. She provides tips on teaching girls to express their anger healthily, encouraging them to stand up for themselves without feeling shame.In the Episode…Jo-Ann and I delve into a rich array of topics that will help parents better understand and support their daughters. Some of the key themes we discuss include:How to empower girls while combating unconscious gender biasesThe impact of everyday sexism from early childhood through the teenage yearsPractical steps for fostering assertiveness and self-confidence in girlsStrategies for teaching boys to respect boundaries and view girls as equalsThe hidden dangers of self-objectification and how to counteract themWe also touch on topics like preparing girls for unfair societal scrutiny, teaching financial literacy equally to boys and girls, and the complexities surrounding modern-day relationship dynamics.This episode is packed with insights and practical strategies from Jo-Ann’s vast experience and research, making it essential listening for any parent looking to raise empowered, resilient daughters. Don’t forget to subscribe, and we’ll see you next week.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Sep 1, 2024 • 26min

Ep 303: The Secret to Raising Securely Attached Teens

Eli Harwood, author of Raising Securely Attached Kids, dives into connection-focused parenting, exploring how parents can maintain strong bonds with teens, even as they become more independent.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesParenting teens can be incredibly rewarding, but it’s also a time fraught with challenges and rapid changes. Just when you think you’ve got a strong connection, everything can start spiraling out of control seemingly overnight. Emotional outbursts can replace casual conversations, and mutual understanding can feel like a distant memory. So, how can parents keep their relationship with their teens strong and resilient during these tumultuous years?One key to maintaining this bond lies in understanding the science of attachment, a concept that is critical not just during infancy but throughout childhood and adolescence. Teens are transitioning, sharing more attachment needs with peers, and carving out their own identities. How can parents navigate this landscape without losing their pivotal role in their children's lives?To unravel these questions, we turn to expert Eli Harwood, a therapist, writer, and the force behind the online community Attachment Nerd. Eli is the author of Raising Securely Attached Kids, a must-read for parents eager to foster secure bonds with their children. Eli brings her own experience of overcoming an insecure attachment and turning it into a lifelong mission to help other families.The Science of Teen AttachmentEli enlightens us about attachment, the instinctive drive we all have to form close relationships. While young children rely mostly on their parents for attachment needs, teenagers start to transfer these needs to friends and romantic partners. This shift can be emotionally taxing for parents as they feel their central role diminishing. However, Eli reassures us that while teens seek independence, the parental bond remains crucial, especially in moments of high distress.Mastering Emotional RegulationThe teenage years are a roller coaster of emotions, and as Eli explains, parents must be the grounded, stable force. She emphasizes the necessity of responding to teenagers' changing emotional landscapes with maturity and empathy. Eli offers strategies for parents to practice emotional management, which involves recognizing and naming emotions accurately—a skill termed as alexithymia when absent. By modeling and encouraging a rich emotional vocabulary, parents can significantly improve their teens' ability to navigate their own feelings and form healthy relationships.Consulting, Not ControllingEli introduces the concept of parents becoming "consultants" rather than controllers. Teens are more likely to seek advice and support from parents who respond maturely to their growing independence. It's important for parents to calm their fearful, possessive instincts and reposition themselves as sources of wisdom and encouragement. When teens trust that their parents are secure in their roles and non-threatening, they are more likely to maintain open lines of communication.Addressing Problematic BehaviorsWhen it comes to problematic behaviors such as lying or substance use, Eli advises a balanced approach of boundaries without punishment. Drawing a clear line between setting boundaries for safety and punitive measures, she champions an approach based on empathy, understanding, and mature dialogue. Eli’s emphasis here is on understanding the underlying emotional turmoil causing such behaviors and addressing that rather than solely focusing on behavioral correction.Fostering Gratitude and EmpathyAnother important aspect Eli discusses is the practice of empathy math—giving empathy to elicit empathy. She tackles the common parental concern of their teens being ungrateful or selfish, explaining that these traits are a normal part of the developmental stage. Instead of expecting gratitude, parents should model it. Showing appreciation for the little moments can inspire teens to mirror this behavior.In the Episode…Eli's insights bring a refreshing perspective on readjusting our parenting strategies for the teen years. Her advice is practical, compassionate, and grounded in psychological research. Tune in for a deeper dive into:Recognizing and responding to catastrophic thinkingThe importance of body language and mirroring emotionsAdvocating for connection before correctionHandling life transitions and significant changes in teensFor more tips from Eli Harwood, visit her website attachmentnerd.com, or follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. Thank you for listening! Don’t forget to share and subscribe for more insights on parenting teens.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Aug 25, 2024 • 25min

Ep 302: Debunking Gender Myths for Parents

Michelle Jurkiewicz and Diane Ehrensaft, co-authors of Gender Explained, join us to dismantle common misconceptions about transgender and non-binary youth, address the impact of misinformation, and highlight the importance of thoughtful, gender-affirming care.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesIn today's digital age, the flood of information—both accurate and misleading—about gender can be overwhelming for parents. Understanding the real science and nuanced truths behind gender diversity is essential, not just for parents of transgender or non-binary teens, but for any families navigating the complex landscape of modern gender identity. Misinformation can exacerbate anxieties, perpetuate harmful stereotypes, and hinder the emotional and psychological development of our teenagers.Regardless of whether your child is cisgender or part of the LGBTQ+ community, becoming well-informed about gender identity issues is crucial. Misconceptions can lead to unintended harm, fostering environments where biases and myths thrive. Ensuring we respond with understanding and backed by research can make a world of difference in how our children perceive themselves and their place in society.To shed light on these issues, we're joined by Dr. Michelle Jurkiewicz and Dr. Diane Ehrensaft—co-authors of the new book, Gender Explained. Diane is the co-founder and director of mental health at the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at UCSF, an esteemed expert with numerous publications on gender. Michelle is a clinical psychologist and gender specialist in Berkeley, California. Together, they bring a wealth of knowledge about gender identity and equity, highlighting how gender-affirming care can profoundly impact mental health positively.Addressing MisconceptionsOne of the most harmful pieces of misinformation is the belief that gender-affirming care lacks a scientific basis and is merely politically driven. Michelle and Diane emphasize that gender-affirming care is indeed evidence-based and involves a diligent, thoughtful process, contrary to the notion of rubber-stamping treatment requests. They also point out that contrary to some accusations, gender diversity is innate and cannot be instilled by external influences or by medical professionals.Another issue they tackle is the myth that a transgender identity in children is just a phase or that it is contagious. Michelle highlights the essential point that gender, much like other aspects of identity, manifests uniquely in each individual, and invalidating these identities can have damaging effects on young people.The Importance of Proper CareDiane passionately debunks the "rubber stamping" myth—instead explaining that gender-affirming care is a collaborative effort involving mental health professionals, endocrinologists, parents, and the children themselves. This multifaceted approach ensures decisions are made carefully, supporting the child's well-being at every step. She also introduces the concept of "social gender dysphoria," which acknowledges that external societal pressures often exacerbate the discomfort felt by gender-diverse youth.Particularly insightful is how they address the emotional journey parents may face, including moments of grief or confusion. Understanding that gender identity is about honoring children's dreams and realities—rather than the expectations we may have—is pivotal in fostering a healthy family dynamic.Handling Emotional ResponsesOur discussions also delve into how to manage personal discomfort as a parent when confronted with non-conforming gender expressions. Diane offers personal anecdotes illustrating how initial discomfort can transform into acceptance and understanding over time, emphasizing the role of love in this process. Michelle adds practical advice on slowing down and reflecting on our gut reactions, encouraging compassion and self-awareness as tools for overcoming bias.Furthermore, Michelle explains the necessity of sports participation for transgender youth in fostering mental health, community, and personal development. Excluding children from sports teams, she warns, can have detrimental impacts on their well-being.The Broader PictureThe book also tackles broader societal issues, such as rapid-onset gender dysphoria (a concept Michelle thoroughly discredits), the impact of restrictive legislation on transgender youth, and the importance of creating inclusive environments. By redefining misunderstood concepts and emphasizing evidence-based research, Diane and Michelle aim to replace fear and misinformation with understanding and support.By the episode’s end, it becomes clear that thoughtful, gender-affirming care benefits children profoundly, reaffirming their identities and promoting healthier, happier lives. Michelle and Diane continuously advocate for gender literacy, reminding parents of the continual evolution of gender understanding, underlined by humanity and empathy.In the Episode…Want to dive deeper into these critical issues? Here’s what else you’ll find in our enlightening conversation:The psychological impact of sports inclusion for transgender youthHow to navigate rapid-onset gender dysphoria accusationsThe role of patience and understanding in affirming your child’s identityAddressing the balance between parental authority and adolescent independencePractical advice on handling name changes and social transitionsDon’t miss this episode for expert insights and compassionate advice. Listen in to be part of a conversation that promotes equality and understanding for all youth. Remember to share, subscribe, and join us next week for more insights on parenting teens!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Aug 11, 2024 • 24min

Ep 301: Raising a Politically Engaged Teen

Lindsey Cormack, author of How to Raise a Citizen, joins us to discuss the importance of teaching teens about civics and political engagement, and provides actionable strategies for parents to help their kids become informed and empowered citizens.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesIn today's hyper-polarized world, talking about politics can seem more like navigating a minefield than having a meaningful conversation. As parents, we often shy away from these discussions to avoid conflict. However, if we want to raise teens who understand their power as citizens and feel confident engaging with political issues, it's imperative that we find ways to bring these topics into our homes.Our guest today, Lindsey Cormack, is here to help us do just that. Lindsey is a professor of political science who has conducted extensive research on how civics is taught across the United States. She's the author of the new book, How to Raise a Citizen and Why It's Up to You to Do It. Lindsey shares her wealth of knowledge on the subject, revealing why so many young people are left in the dark about our political system and what we can do about it.Lindsey's research shows that civics education in schools is often inconsistent and inadequate, with a general trend of decreasing emphasis over time. With many students only receiving a brief overview in their senior year of high school and varying state delivery methods, it’s no wonder teens feel unprepared. Additionally, political conversations in classrooms have become fraught, with teachers fearing backlash from parents over anything perceived as too political.But politics doesn't have to be controversial or divisive. Lindsey suggests that instead of relying on schools, parents can take an active role in encouraging their kids to engage with politics. This can be as simple as having regular conversations about current events, exploring the importance of local government, and recognizing the impact of political decisions on their daily lives. Lindsay recommends starting by discussing things your kids are already noticing in your community and taking these observations to your local representatives.Understanding and Experiencing GovernmentThe episode delves into the disconnect between what is taught in schools and the political engagement colleges look for in applicants. Lindsey emphasizes that parents can bridge this gap by teaching their teens about the levels of government and how each impacts their community directly.To demystify government for our kids, Lindsey suggests getting involved in local community boards or even setting up meetings with local officials. Through real-world experiences, teens can learn about civic engagement and understand the role they play in shaping their community.Action Civics: Learning by DoingLindsey argues for the importance of "action civics"–projects where teens identify issues in their communities, research solutions, and learn the process of effecting change. This hands-on approach to civics can help kids see themselves as participants rather than spectators in the political process. From advocating for school policy changes to organizing clean-up projects, these activities empower students and teach them valuable skills.Cultivating Healthy Political DialogueIn an era where political conversation often means confrontation, Lindsey offers practical advice for parents on how to facilitate respectful and productive political discussions at home. She provides a framework with specific questions to guide these conversations in a non-combative manner, seeking to understand rather than to win an argument. Lindsey also notes the value of petitioning and discusses how even younger teens can organize and influence their schools and neighborhoods with petitions on issues they care about.In the Episode...My conversation with Lindsey was incredibly insightful. Beyond the main topics discussed above, we also dive into:Why teaching to the test has squeezed out civics education.The importance of understanding federalism and different levels of government.Practical steps parents can take to introduce their teens to active citizenship.Why reviewing sample ballots before elections can empower first-time voters.Strategies to help teens have respectful political debates and discussions.If you enjoyed listening, you can find more from Lindsey at howtoraiseacitizen.com, lindseycormack.com, or on Instagram @howtoraiseacitizen. Don’t forget to share and subscribe, and we’ll see you next week!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Aug 4, 2024 • 35min

Ep 300: Favorite Clips in Review!

Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Welcome to Episode 300! For this week’s episode, we’re sharing some of our clips from our favorite episodes. This is material previously reserved for members, but we liked it so much we want to share it with everyone. Thank you to all our listeners for sticking with us over the past six-plus years! We are grateful for your support and look forward to the next hundred episodes!!  Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Jul 21, 2024 • 25min

Ep 299: Addiction Through a Sociological Lens

Patricia Roos, author of Surviving Alex, explores the complexities of addiction, advocating for a shift from punitive measures to a public health approach and sharing deeply personal insights from her son's battle with substance use disorder and eventual overdose.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesAddiction is a complex and often misunderstood issue, frequently discussed in simplified terms that do little justice to those who struggle with it and their families. Many hold onto unhelpful myths about addiction, focusing on perceived moral failings or simplistic disease models. But what if these views miss the broader picture? What if we could better understand the root causes and contexts surrounding addiction, ultimately providing more effective support and interventions?In this episode, we delve into the intricate dynamics of substance use and addiction, highlighting not just drug addiction but also related behaviors like anorexia, bulimia, and self-harm. We uncover how these issues are often deeply intertwined with individual psychology and broader societal factors.Our guest today is Patricia Roos, Professor Emerita of Sociology at Rutgers University and author of Surviving Alex: A Mother's Story of Love Loss and Addiction. Patricia’s personal connection to this issue, through her son's battle with substance use disorder and his eventual overdose, lends a poignant and compelling perspective to her scholarly insights.Understanding Addiction Beyond MythsPatricia argues that prevailing models of addiction—the moral model and the disease model—fail to capture the full scope of this issue. She points out that a purely individualistic approach overlooks the critical role of societal and contextual factors. Instead, she proposes a more nuanced understanding that considers how context shapes individual choices. This shift in perspective opens up new avenues for addressing addiction in more empathetic and effective ways.The Hidden Battles With Anxiety and ControlIn recounting her son Alex's journey, Patricia reveals how his struggles began in adolescence with anorexia and later evolved into substance use. She emphasizes that these behaviors were coping mechanisms for underlying anxiety and a relentless drive for perfection—a theme that resonates with many adolescents today. Patricia offers insights into how parents might spot early warning signs of such struggles, encouraging a compassionate and proactive approach.The Role of Treatment and Societal StigmaPatricia sheds light on the stigmas associated with addiction within the medical community and the criminal justice system. She shares her advocacy for a paradigm shift towards treating addiction as a public health issue rather than a criminal offense. This change, she argues, could reduce the damaging impact of stigma and open up more supportive and effective treatment options.Patient Trafficking and the Rehab SystemIn a particularly eye-opening segment, Patricia discusses the concept of patient trafficking within rehab systems, especially in areas like Florida. She describes how some rehab centers exploit patients for financial gain, pushing them into cycles of relapse and readmission without providing genuine support. This exploitation exemplifies the need for systemic change in how we handle addiction treatment, ensuring it is truly geared towards recovery.In the Episode...- How societal stigma and punitive measures exacerbate addiction.- The connection between early anxiety, mental health issues, and later substance use.- The need for a public health approach to replace the current criminal justice focus.- The shady practices of patient trafficking within the rehab system and the importance of ethical treatment options.Join us for a compelling discussion that seeks to unravel the complexities of addiction and offers a call to action for more compassionate and effective responses. Listen now to understand the broader contexts of addiction, equip yourself with knowledge to support your teen, and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insightful episodes.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.
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Jul 16, 2024 • 25min

Ep 298: Maximizing Teen Potential

Scott H. Young, author of Get Better at Anything, joins us to demystify the true essence of learning, improvement, and mastery, shedding light on how parents can guide their teens to excel both academically and personally.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesParents face the continual challenge of helping their teens become proficient learners. With teens constantly navigating the realms of academics, sports, and personal interests, understanding how they can master new skills is invaluable. So how can we, as parents, support our teens in their quest for mastery—whether it's in school subjects, sports, or their personal hobbies?This week we have the privilege of speaking with Scott H. Young, author of Get Better at Anything. Scott is an expert in the domains of learning and mastery, best known for his pioneering research and practical guides on how individuals can achieve excellence in various life fields. With a background deeply intertwined with education due to his parents being teachers, Scott’s insights are grounded in both personal and professional realms.In this episode, we uncover effective strategies to help teens become better learners and improve their skills more efficiently. Scott shares fascinating insights about retrieval practice—a method that solidifies memory retention better than repeated exposure. While traditional beliefs suggest problem-solving without guidance builds deep understanding, Scott reveals how observing and emulating can often yield better results.Mastery Through ExamplesFor Scott, learning isn’t just about trial and error; it’s about studying examples and getting comprehensive practice. The perfect balance involves ‘See, Do, and Feedback’—a cycle that ensures effective learning. Scott also touches on cognitive load theory, explaining how our limited working memory plays a role in learning and offers practical advice for leveraging this understanding to aid teens in their academic endeavors.Failing ForwardFacing challenges is essential for growth, but Scott emphasizes the need to strike a balance between challenges and successes. Early failure without appropriate support can demotivate teens. Instead, Scott advocates for building confidence through small wins before presenting more complex challenges. This method not only helps teens stay motivated but also prepares them to handle tougher problems with resilience.Creating Practice LoopsA significant part of Scott’s methodology is designing practice loops. Ensuring that teens get enough variability in their practice sessions is crucial for long-term retention and generalization of skills. Rather than sticking to blocked practice where the focus is on one type of problem, Scott encourages mixed approaches to help teens become flexible and adept problem solvers in various contexts.Fear and LearningFear is another major obstacle in the learning process. Whether it's test anxiety or fear of public speaking, these emotions take up cognitive resources that could be better used for problem-solving. Scott discusses exposure therapy as a way to help teens gradually face their fears, thereby reducing their anxiety over time. He underscores that persistent effort in overcoming fears is key to long-term mastery and success.In the Episode…Our conversation with Scott yields numerous actionable strategies that can be beneficial for parents looking to boost their teens' learning potential. Beyond the highlights mentioned above, we also delve into:- Why early assessment in classrooms can be demotivating and how mastery learning can help.- The importance of creativity and productivity in achieving mastery.- Strategies for unlearning bad habits and adopting better techniques.- Real-world examples of how small adjustments in teaching techniques can lead to big improvements.For those interested in diving deeper, you can explore more of Scott’s insights at scotthyoung.com where you can also find his books and podcast. Tune into this episode to learn how to foster an environment conducive to mastering new skills and to encourage your teens to reach their full potential. Don't forget to share, subscribe, and review so more parents can benefit from these insights!Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

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