Dan Sheeks, a high school business teacher and author of "First to a Million," shares insights on guiding teens toward financial independence. He discusses the importance of early financial literacy, inspired by the FIRE movement, and encourages parents to engage their kids in money conversations. Dan breaks down assets versus liabilities and emphasizes choosing careers that align with long-term goals. He also stresses the balance between pursuing financial freedom and enjoying life’s pleasures, promoting proactive financial management.

Matthew R Kay, author of Not Light, But Fire, shares his vast wealth of knowledge on how to have productive discussions about race. As an educator and speaker, Matthew is well-versed in what to avoid and what to move toward in conversations.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesYou know you have to discuss race....but you’re not sure where to start. With everything going on in the news and centuries of history to cover, there’s quite a bit to talk about. You might feel like you’re unauthorized or just woefully unprepared. What if you say the wrong thing, or your teen asks a question you don’t know the answer to? With all the uncertainty, it can be tempting to just skip the topic of race altogether.But if we don’t encourage kids to think critically about racism, they may grow up ignorant to prejudice in their community. They might not be able to identify microaggressions, or might not think about a certain language before they use it. Plus, with all the information floating around on social media these days, kids might just learn about race from unreliable sources when they could be having a productive conversation about it with a trusted parent!To help us crack the code to race conversations with teens, we’re sitting down with Matthew R. Kay, author of Not Light But Fire: How to Lead Meaningful Race Conversations in the Classroom. Matthew’s one of the founding English teachers at the Science Leadership Academy in Philadelphia, as well as the founder of a Philly slam poetry league! As a teacher, he’s had countless conversations about race in his classroom–leading him to learn what works and what doesn’t.Matthew and I are discussing how you can create a safe space for kids to open up about intense issues like race. Plus, we’re talking about how you can keep the conversation in check so it doesn’t go off the rails, even when you and your teen have some differences of opinion.Creating a Space for Talks About RaceWhen it’s time to get into a tricky topic, it’s pretty easy to declare your home to be a safe space for teens to open up. But talk is cheap! If you really want to make teens feel comfortable being vulnerable, you’ve got to go beyond just your words and provide a safe space with your actions, says Matthew. One of the most important steps to creating a comfortable environment is making sure everyone feels listened to. In our interview, Matthew explains how teens often come to him saying they feel like adults just don’t listen! With our endlessly busy lives full of errands, work meetings and carpools, it can be hard to find the time to really listen to what teens have to say. But if we really want teens to feel comfortable sitting down with us to discuss race or other heavy topics, we’ve got to put in the work to let them know we’re really listening, says Matthew.But what makes a good listener? Matthew and I dive into the art of listening in the episode. Although we might think we are just naturally endowed with our listening skills, there are actually concrete steps we can take to become better at receiving and digesting information. Matthew encourages parents to police their own voice, meaning making sure that in a discussion between you and your kids, you’re not the only one talking! In Matthew’s classroom, creating rich relationships between the students is a priority–and one of the ways he ensures that everyone feels comfortable sharing. It’s hard to be vulnerable with somebody you don’t know! That’s why he sets structures in place to make sure kids really get to know each other before they dive into complicated discussions or sensitive topics. As a parent, you might want to practice a similar strategy, he says. By building that relationship beforehand, you can create a safe space and allow teens to feel that they can tell you anything.In the episode, Matthew and I discuss ways you can make teens feel comfortable when it is time to actually have that serious talk. It can be helpful to ensure that you and your teen are sitting or standing at the same eye level, Matthew explains. This creates an equitable balance of power between the two of you, and prevents your teen from feeling as though you’re passing judgement on them! Matthew also shares why you shouldn’t ask kids to “sit down” before diving into the discussion in the episode.Once you feel you’ve created the comfortable space teens need, having the conversation is another tricky task entirely! But with some tips from Matthew, you can go into the conversation feeling confident.Conducting a Race Conversation It’s easy for things to get heated when talking about race–especially if you and your teen have differences of opinion. But if the two of you can keep the discussion more scholarly and less emotional, Matthew says the two of you can learn from one another. In his classroom, he tries to keep these kinds of talks more research and inquiry based, instead of just having kids blurt out opinions. This helps teens get into more productive and deliberate discussion instead of just throwing around baseless claims.Matt also really encourages sequential discussion, meaning that every talk you have with your teen builds on the last. This gives teens (and parents) time in between to think critically about these nuanced topics. It allows them to fabricate sophisticated perspectives instead of coming to simple conclusions! Matthew believes that one of the biggest issues with our school system’s approach to education about race is this lack of sequentiality. We throw kids disconnected discussions about Martin Luther King or police brutality, but don’t give them the tools to make a timeline!When starting up a talk about race, Matthew emphasizes really paying attention to the prompt you choose to spark the discussion. If you ask kids a complex question that requires them to provide examples to prove their point, they’ll be forced to look past black and white answers. Plus, if you can push them to examine the other side’s viewpoint and perspective, you might just find that they’re able to consider the layers of complexity that lay behind issues of race, says Matthew.This is a helpful technique that helps us avoid the common tendency to shift things into an “I’m right, you’re wrong” argument, Matthew explains. Too often, parents and teens both fall into a pattern of trying to convince the other to believe in their own point, making it into a win or lose situation, when it shouldn’t be! In the episode, Matthew doles out some tips to keep you from falling into this pattern.In the Episode…I’m so grateful that I was able to sit down with Matthew today to get some tips on having conversations about race. It’s something so many of us are eager to do, but find ourselves struggling with just how to do it. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:What “house talk” is and how to use itHow you can give more meaningful complimentsWhy you shouldn’t rush through conversions about raceHow to get quiet kids to speak upWhy we should talk about “The Jefferson Dismissal” If you enjoyed listening to this episode, there’s more great stuff from Matthew on notlight.com, including articles, information about his book and ways you can contact him directly....

Diane Tavenner, author of Prepared and founder of Summit Public Schools, joins us to shed light on the practical to-dos she has learned from running some of the highest ranked public schools in the United States.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWhen it comes to our kids’ education, we don’t want to cut corners. We want them to have access to a thorough, fulfilling schooling so that they’ll have a bright future! However, today’s school system often fails to meet our expectations. Teens are shuffled through a long day of sitting in a classroom, doing what they’re told, with almost no personal connection to what they’re learning. No wonder so many of them are falling behind or finding themselves woefully unprepared for college!Although it may seem like there’s no way to combat this problem, our guest today thinks otherwise. The trick, she believes, is to flip the script and put teens behind the driver’s seat of their own education. If we’re encouraging kids to push themselves forward instead of constantly forcing them to budge, we might actually see them make some real progress! It won’t be easy, but it will be well worth it.This week, we’re talking with someone who’s putting in work everyday to revolutionize education. Diane Tavenner is the co-founder and CEO of Summit Public Schools, a nationally recognized system of charter schools that has been praised across the board–including being ranked in American News and World Report as some of the best high schools in the United States! She’s here to talk about some key ideas from her book, Prepared: What Kids Need for a Fulfilled Life. In the episode, Diane and I are telling you how you can help your teen take charge of their own education, and figure out what they want to do with their life! Plus, we’re shelling out quick and easy mindfulness practices that you and your teen can both practice on an everyday basis to boost motivation.How Teens Can Drive Their Own EducationWhen Diane and four other teachers decided to start up a charter school, they first had to draw up some principles that would guide their classrooms. They reflected on their own experiences struggling through the poorly designed public school system as teachers. Together, they realized that one of the most troubling aspects of most schools was the passivity of the student experience! Instead of pushing kids to set goals based on their own interests, schools expected kids to complete worksheets full of rote memorization and take classes they didn’t care about.Diane, along with Summit’s other founders, decided that their school would emphasize the students’ personal ownership of their education. Instead of teaching compliance, like most public schools, they would teach independence! This didn’t come easy, however. Diane has frequently been challenged by Summit’s students to shift her perspective towards a student-driven model. In one case, Diane was confronted with a student who was doing so poorly that he simply wasn’t going to be able to graduate. Frustrated, she and the student’s parents made a list of all the things they could do to help get the student back on track. By the time they were done, however, they realized they hadn’t even consulted the student at all! Because we’re so used to a school system totally controlled by adults, we forget just how integral it is for students to make choices about how they’re learning.In the episode, we talk about how you can bring this principle into your own home to encourage your teen to be intentional about their learning. But what about beyond school? Diane and I also talk about helping your teen find out what they want to do with their future.Helping Teens Find Their PurposeEven if teens are active in their own education, it doesn’t mean they are sure about their direction! It’s hard to pick a path when you’ve barely experienced the world yet...and it doesn’t help that we constantly ask kids what they “want to be when they grow up” from the time they're old enough to talk. Luckily, Diane has some great tips for helping teens narrow down their career journey and find their calling.Diane calls on parents to help teens find their “ings”. This process involves guiding teens to define the activities that they enjoy, that they’re good at or that make them feel purposeful–like writing, coding, dancing, teaching, etc! When we ask teens to pick a career, we’re often asking them to pigeonhole themselves into something they likely know nothing about, says Diane. Many students go into college or even graduate college with no connection to their degree. Instead, figuring out the things they are driven to do can help them find a meaningful pursuit.For some teens, this can also include defining the “ings” they don’t resonate with. In the episode, she tells the story of a student who was lucky enough to score his dream coding internship...only to find out he hated coding. Although he initially viewed this as a failure, he eventually came to see how this perceived disappointment acted as a lesson! Instead of trying to fit into a box he didn’t belong in through adult life, he came to realize that coding was not his destiny. He did find that he enjoyed “ings” like collaborating, setting him on a new career path.By encouraging your teen to do some self reflection, you can help them be more intentional in their own education. It is important to note, however, that setting intentions is one thing but keeping to them is another! In our interview, Diane is sharing some simple practices to make every day life more intentional for both you and your teen.How Mindfulness Can Boost MotivationYou may have been intrigued by the idea of mindfulness, but can’t commit to hours of meditation or long morning yoga classes. With all the stress of life, it can feel like these relaxing practices are just another thing we have to pencil in after work. However, with the right methods, you and your family can incorporate mindful practices in everyday life. Helping your teens take time out of their day to reflect can be a helpful aide to their education process too, says Diane.Diane and I talk about a process called “check-in, check-out”. Instead of requiring lots of time and effort and throwing off your daily schedule, this practice simply involves taking five minutes at the beginning of the day and five at the end. In the morning, Diane encourages us to “check-in”: set some intentions for the day, think about how we feel, and set ourselves in the present. At the end of the day, as we’re winding down, she recommends that we “check-out”, or process our feelings about the day, evaluate whether or not we met our intentions, and think about what we are going to do tomorrow!This basic practice can help us get in touch with ourselves instead of staring at our devices! It also helps us keep our goals in mind, and live our best lives. Diane suggests that parents introduce this concept to teens, and even invite them to share their results with you. Teens often feel like we don’t listen, says Diane, and showing that you care can help the two of you strengthen your connection. Plus, this practice may help them think critically about their education goals, and whether or not they’ve been met!In the Episode…I learned so much from Diane thi...

Dr. Ethan Kross, author of Chatter, briefs us on his research on internal chatter: what it is, why it matters, and how to help your teen harness it before it gets out of control. Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesThere’s a lot to be worried about these days!  Whether you’re feeling anxious about the ongoing pandemic or just concerned that your teen is struggling in school, it’s easy to let distress clutter your mind. When we let that anxiety crawl around in our brain, we often find ourselves distracted from the better moments in life, thinking obsessively about a work meeting when we’re supposed to be spending quality time with our families. Interestingly, that voice inside our head–the one that’s always muttering about the past and the future–can be useful, if we know how to harness it. This inner dialogue comes from an evolutionary need to learn from past mistakes to survive the next challenge, and can help us immensely when tackling life’s challenges! If parents can learn to steer this voice in a positive direction, they can help teens do the same. That way, these young adults will know how to handle that tricky inner dialogue before they head off into the real world.Our guest this week is one of the world’s leading experts on controlling the conscious mind as well as an award-winning professor of psychology and business at the University of Michigan! His name is Ethan Kross, and his new book is called Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It. In our interview, Ethan and I are getting into how and why we talk to ourselves, and what we can do to make the most of our inner voice.In this week’s interview, we’re discussing the idea of being “present”...and why it doesn’t always help us feel better. Plus, we’re diving into tons of other strategies for harnessing your inner voice that might be the perfect solution to that constant worrying!What is “Chatter?”Before we can learn to make the most of our mental chatter, we’ve got to know where it comes from! Ethan explains how this persistent voice in our heads was built in to help us make predictions about the future and learn from the past. For some people, it’s stronger than others, and it serves a different purpose for each of us, says Ethan. It can help us prepare for important speeches at work or a terrifying first date. It boosts our working memory, allowing us to keep phone numbers or passwords in our head. It even helps us define who we are and build a stronger sense of self!However, if we don’t learn to use it for good, we might end up worrying about the future or ruminating on the past. When we’re trying to watch a movie with our families, we might find ourselves obsessing over tomorrow's work meeting or paying the electricity bill. Or maybe we’re thinking so much about a mistake we made in a past relationship that we’re too scared to enter a new one. With some help from Ethan, however, we’re giving you some tips this week to help keep that chatter under control when you don’t want it running through your head.Have you ever been told that you should live in the present? This is a common way people tend to grapple with chatter, as it helps them stop worrying about what came before or what will happen next. However, Ethan says this doesn't work for everyone. Some people need that chatter to plan or reflect and, and won’t find being “present” to be very helpful! In the episode, we’re covering plenty of other tools you or your teen can use–and you might just find that one of them works especially well for you or your family!How Can We Keep Chatter Under Control?Say your teen is preparing for a big game and is pretty overwhelmed with the voice inside their head. Or maybe they’re really worried about getting into UCLA, to the point where they’re struggling to pay attention to anything else. You want to help them manage their internal voice...but you’re not sure how! Don’t fear–Ethan is here to help you manage your teen’s chatter by giving us a few tips.The first solution you might think of is encouraging them to vent their feelings. However, Ethan brings up some fascinating research that might surprise you. Several studies have found that when someone is dealing with intense negative feelings, venting them to someone often actually makes them feel worse! If they just share their misery without adopting a strategy to feel better, they’re perspective on the situation will only become more dismal.Instead, Ethan emphasizes the importance of venting to someone who will help you reframe the situation in a more positive light, or provide solutions to the conflict at hand. Instead of just reinforcing your stress or sadness, this can actually help you move forward! If you’re talking to a teen, Ethan recommends listening and digesting what they have to say, and then asking patiently if they want to receive some advice. Every teen needs a different amount of time to vent before they receive some constructive assistance, but receiving that guidance can be a lot more helpful than just listening!There are a few other interesting, even counterintuitive ideas about handling chatter that Ethan shares in this episode.More Tips for Managing ChatterHave you ever found yourself worried about an upcoming job interview or a court date and suddenly...you just have to clean out your linen closet? Or maybe it’s the fridge that suddenly needs four hours of organization. Ethan explains how when we feel like we don’t have control internally, we try to control our external environment to compensate. Although it may sound avoidant, Ethan says that it can actually be a really helpful way to lighten our mental load.Similarly, participating in rituals can help you feel more in control. These rituals could be daily, like doing yoga in the mornings, or weekly, like watching a movie with your kids on Saturday nights. By keeping to the structure, the predictability helps keep chatter in line, says Ethan. These periods of time help your mind reset and help you return to chatter with a clearer and more intentional mindset. In our interview, Ethan and I discuss how these rituals exist across every culture in one form or another, helping people stay calm amongst the chatter.In the episode, Ethan and I also talk about an interesting technique that helps teens get some distance from the voice in their head. If your teen is struggling to emotionally process something that happened in the past and finds their mind overrun with chatter, it can be useful for them to try and separate themselves from it. One way they can do this is examine what happened, but refer to themselves in the third person. Ethan explains this further in the episode! The technique helps teens find a more objective perspective and see a path to a solution that isn’t guided by all the chatter.During the interview, we go deeper into distancing, even discussing how giving your kid a cape and asking them to assume a role of a superhero can help! And although distance can make things feel a little clearer, Ethan reminds us that we shouldn’t distance ourselves from joyful events! Those happy times with our kids can be some of life’s brightest moments.In the Episode...I loved sitting down with Ethan this week to talk about how we can change our int...

David Bradford, PhD, co-author of Connect, shares his insights for how to create a deeper, more meaningful connection with your teen by tweaking communication.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWe often hear that the secret to a healthy relationship of any kind is communication...but what does that really mean? Does it mean apologizing when we feel we’ve messed up, or daring to discuss uncomfortable topics? Are there certain things we shouldn’t say, and how do we know when we’re communicating too much? How do we get teens who are checked out to actually hear what we’re saying? These questions and more are keeping us from having an open, communicative relationship with our teens.But when bad communication causes so many problems, it’s understandable that you might be hesitant. When you’re feeling frustrated or upset with your teen, certain ways of communicating can deepen the divide between the two of you instead of building a bridge. Teens who are dealing with pressures from every side of life can sometimes drive us up the wall–and despite our best efforts, we too often let our communication fall into a pattern of yelling, nagging and not really listening to what they have to say. This week, we’re helping you fight the tendency to slip into all the fussing and fighting. By giving you the guidance to create a healthier, more communicative relationship with your teen, our hope is to bring some harmony to your home. Our guest is David Bradford, professor at Stanford’s graduate school of business and author of Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues. David’s been teaching a seminar at Stanford on interpersonal dynamics for two decades, and he’s here to share some of the most valuable insights from his work with us.David and I are discussing why teens often refuse to hear anything we have to say, and how we can open up a stronger, more positive channel of communication between us and them. We’re providing alternatives to giving advice, which, according to David, in’ts as effective as we think! Plus, we’re discussing what David calls the “three realities of communication” to uncover why our misunderstandings can so often lead to hurt feelings or accusations.When Teens Won’t ListenTeens love to breeze through the front door and right into their rooms, giving you little more than an “mhhm” or a “yeah sure.” And although you might want your teen to have autonomy, there are still things you need to talk to them about! As a parent, there’s so much wisdom you can provide to protect and guide your teen–and there are likely rules that need to be followed under your roof! So how can we get through to a teen that doesn’t even seem to hear a word you say?Say you’ve noticed your teen vaping once or twice, and you want to have a talk with them….but they keep slamming the door in your face. David explains how hard it is for teens to open up about these kinds of sensitive subjects, especially when they feel cornered. The issue lies in the power dynamic between parents and teens. In many situations outside the family, those in lower status positions almost always experience difficulty being vulnerable with their superiors, says David. Although you aren’t “superior” to your teen, you are older and likely control their finances, living situation and transportation! This makes the power dynamic a bit uneven. To help level the playing field, David emphasizes the importance of not responding to conflict with a show of authority. If you can make it clear to your teen that you want to talk about the vape without declaring punishment or dictating rules with an iron fist, you’re more likely to have a productive conversation that they’ll actually sit through!In our discussion on how to engage teens, David and I talk extensively in the episode about why you should stray away from giving avoidant teens advice–and ask open ended questions instead. The Pitfalls of Giving AdviceAs parents, it’s our natural urge to meet every one of our teen’s obstacles with some sage wisdom from our wonder years. If we can offer anything as a parent, it’s some meaningful advice about picking a college or surviving a breakup...right? David actually argues otherwise. In his eyes, giving advice is just another way parent’s tend to push their own beliefs, views and opinions onto kids, telling them what to do instead of prompting them to think critically and find their own solution.Instead, David suggests asking open-ended questions. Let’s take our vape example. Now that we’ve decided not to be authoritative, say we choose to give advice. We tell them that we tried cigarettes back in our teen years, but we stopped because we didn’t want to get addicted or have serious health issues–and they should do the same. Not a bad piece of communication, but it totally neglects the fact that kids are living in a different era where even their cigarettes are electronic! Plus, it doesn’t provoke any discussion or thought on their end. Let's say instead we ask open-ended questions, as David recommends. Questions like, what motivated you to start vaping? How does the experience make you feel? What are some other ways of getting the same sort of feeling that might be healthier? What comes to mind when you think about throwing the vape away? Now notice, these aren’t answered with just a “yes” or a “no”. They encourage kids to really process and think critically about why they’re engaging in a particular destructive behavior, and how they might discover a better way forward.Now, no matter what you say to teens, there will always be some difference in your intention and their interpretation. David and I are tackling that discrepancy with an idea he calls the “three realities of communication.”Why Communication Has ComplicationsSo you decide to ask your teen some open-ended questions about the vape, questions you identify as non threatening. But they suddenly blow up, claiming all you do is try to control them and restrict their freedom. You can’t see the way they arrived at this conclusion, and try to dispute them, until the whole thing turns into a full blown argument. Now the two of you aren’t talking, and the vape situation hasn’t been discussed at all!David breaks down this process into the different communication “realities.” The first is the intent behind the message, or your attempt to simply learn some more information about the vape. The second is the communication itself–objective details like where it happened, when it happened, and the question that was asked. The third is how the message was interpreted by the recipient–not well, in this scenario! Even though sometimes we get lucky enough to have all three fall in line, they’re never exactly the same. This can often lead to confusion, mixed signals and even hurt feelings.To try and navigate this nuanced world of communication, David suggests a commonly used tactic you may have heard of before: using “I” statements, especially “I feel” statements. In doing this, you are making an effort to describe your subjective experience and avoid telling anyone else what their experience is–because how could you possibly know? In our interview, David elaborates on this further and shares tons of other tips for making communication more cohesive.In the Epis...

Christian Jarrett, author of Be Who You Want, brings us knowledge on the science of changing: what exactly can we change and how can we make changes stick. Plus, how to turn difficult personalities into successful ones. Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesIt’s hard to think of a group that gets labelled more than teenagers. Whether we declare them slackers, class clowns, popular kids or outcasts, it can be easy to put them in boxes based on their personalities! But have you ever considered that personalities aren’t as constant as you might think? Maybe teens’ personalities change with time as they grow or fluctuate depending on who they’re with or where they are. They might even have the power to intentionally change their own personalities if they put their minds to it.The debate over whether human personality is stable or fluid is one that reaches back through the history of psychology. Some scientists in the past believed that our personalities were set in stone by age thirty, while others believe there’s no such thing as a set personality at all! Are our personalities decided at birth, or are they decided by the events of our lives? Do we have a role in choosing our own personality or is it something that just happens to us?These are the kinds of questions we’re asking Christian Jarrett this week. He’s been a leading cognitive neuroscientist for two decades with work featured on the BBC, in Vice, Guardian, GQ and more! His book, Be Who You Want: Unlocking the Science of Personality Change, tackles commonly asked questions we all have about defining our personalities and changing ourselves for the better. He’s here to cover some of the most interesting points and give advice for parents of teens with rapidly changing personalities.In our interview, Christian explains why teens are especially vulnerable to personality change! We’re also covering the effects of social situations on teens’ personalities, and how you can help your teen use certain techniques to actively work towards being the person they want to be.Teens are Ripe for Personality ChangeWith their brains still developing and their minds impressionable, teens have a very high potential for personality change, says Christian. However, this can sometimes backfire! As Christian explains, there’s an interesting theory that attempts to break down teens’ personality development, called the disruptor hypothesis. According to this theory, although positive human personality growth is linear for the most part, our disposition actually regresses in the teenage years!What does this mean, exactly? Well, as we go through life, we find ourselves “improving” our personalities–that is, becoming more conscientious, kind, patient, or mellow.  But because teen’s brains and bodies are going through so many transitions, they tend to backslide a bit, becoming more prone to anger, neuroticism, or self-centeredness! Sound familiar? If your teen’s behavior is less than tolerable, this might just be a contributing factor.Luckily, there are ways you can help teens work through these rather undesirable personality traits–whether it be narcissism, grumpiness or chronic anxiety. In the episode, Christian shares certain techniques teens can practice to channel self-centeredness to serve the greater good. He also shares methods for teens to manage a tendency towards overwhelming worry or nerves. In these ways, teens are able to have control over their personality and the way they’re perceived by others!For teens thrust into the chaotic world of high school, social situations can be pretty intense. As a parent, you may have pretty regular concerns about the people your teen is hanging out with! In the episode, we’re talking about how friends can affect teens’ personalities.Why Social Groups are So InfluentialOne of the most effective ways teens can take control of their own personalities is by managing who they hang out with. By surrounding themselves with people who have positive, uplifting energies, Christian says teens can become more optimistic themselves. By reminding teens of this and helping them be intentional about who they're spending time with, you can help your teen become a happier person!Christian emphasizes the importance of helping teens think critically about the friends they choose to keep instead of making those decisions for them. In Christian’s work studying teen brain development, he’s found that when parents interject themselves so much into a teen's life that they’re removing obstacles, it dampens the teen’s ability to develop emotional resilience. Giving them the responsibility of choosing their own friends may seem small, but it can help as they go forward into adult life.Interestingly, research has found that although parents do have some influence over teens, it’s nothing compared to the influence of their peers. Christian explains how external forces have the largest effect on teen’s personality. When programs are set up to rehabilitate youth, they often fail because they rely on adult role models rather than peer influence, Christian says. If we want teens to become their best selves, it might be wise to encourage them to surround themselves with the right friends!Beyond guiding their social lives, there’s a lot parents can do to promote a positive personality change in a teen.Guiding Teens Towards Positive ChangeSince teen’s personalities are so fluid, there are ways we can push them towards uplifting changes! Christian explains how at this point in their lives, personality acts almost like a skill that can be improved with practice and a growth mindset. In fact, research has shown that when teens are given guidance and tutorials about how to deal with emotional setbacks, they’re less likely to beat themselves up or be self deprecating, instead showing resilience and optimism.One thing Christian and I talk about is goal setting. He explains how humans actually don’t have very reliable will power, so this is something you might want to take steps to help your teen develop. Teaching them to remove temptations or plan ahead can be really positive steps in the right direction. Say their goal is to go to the gym every week, but they can’t seem to get themselves out of bed. Christian suggests they take the effort to plan out a reward for themselves after their workout, so they’ll be motivated to go.In addition to pursuing goals, Christian encourages teens to question their goals. Is this goal causing them too much stress? How does it make them feel about themselves? Teens can often feel stuck in dead ends, so it can be good to slow them down and turn them around before they get there. Christian explains how much harder it is for teens to make changes when there’s no real motivation behind it. If they’re doing it just to do it, they might not ever get there. If they really want to become a better person, then Christian believes it’s absolutely possible.In the Episode...On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:Why male and female personality development is differentHow alcohol and marijuana affect personalityWhy teens should learn to name their emotionsHow to help a narcissistic teenThanks for listening! If you want to find mo...

Dr. Sarah McKay, author of The Women’s Brain Book, demystifies the research on the brain--the difference between males and females, the impact of hormones, and why the teenage years are such an exciting time for the brain.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWhen our middle or high schoolers are driving us up the wall, we often attribute their wacky behavior to hormones. They weren’t this crazy when they were younger, and we pray they won’t be this unpredictable as adults, so we assume it must be those teenage chemicals in their brains making them act up. It’s just a biological process, and there’s nothing we can do...right?But attributing all of our teens’ behavior to hormones can bring up some complicated questions for parents. Like, with everything going on in her brain already, would it be wise to put my daughter on birth control? Or, is it normal, hormonal, behavior that keeps my teenager out late, causes him to drive like a maniac? What if there are other factors to consider when pondering these questions that can make things a little clearer for parents?To find out, we’re talking to Dr. Sarah McKay, renowned neuroscientist, to find out what role hormones really play in teen’s development...and what popular ideas are actually misconceptions! Dr. McKay is an Oxford educated doctor with years of experience researching brian science. Finding herself intrigued by outdated or misconstrued ideas about the female mind, she decided to write The Women’s Brain Book, a comprehensive look at the development of women’s neural pathways.  In this week’s episode, Dr. McKay’s demystifying the role of hormones during puberty–and explaining why we give them too much weight. Plus, we’re discussing the specific brain changes our pubescent kids are experiencing, and getting into how gender stereotypes seep into what should be purely scientific perspectives of puberty.The Truth About HormonesAlthough we often think of puberty as being absolutely characterized by changes in hormones, the truth is a little more complicated, says Dr. McKay. Although teens are experiencing a switch up of hormonal activity during this tumultuous period, it's not just these hormones that are making them act up!In the episode, Dr. McKay elaborates on how teens’ brains are constantly receiving messages from everything they do–every muscle they move, every bite they eat, or even the temperature of their body! This means that beyond just the new, puberty- induced hormonal changes going on in teen’s brains, their environment and contextual elements are constantly contributing to mood swings, anger, sadness, discomfort, etc! Puberty hormones simply dial up or dial down the emotional effects of these external influences.By pinning everything on hormones, Dr. McKay thinks we might be furthering a particular narrative about emotion–especially for girls and women! When we chalk up mood swings or discontentment to hormonal activity, we’re only starting the common, offensive misconception that when a woman isn’t happy, it must be because it’s her “time of the month”. It can lead to the idea that a woman’s anger or concern is just her being “hysterical” or overreacting due to her, well, being a woman! As Dr. McKay emphasizes in the episode, we would rather our kids have a more sophisticated understanding of female emotion than this!In our interview,  Dr. McKay talks at length about the birth control pill and whether or not the hormonal effects are important to consider for your own teen. To continue our discussion of puberty struggles specific to the female, we’re also breaking down how our society’s commonly held beliefs about gender affect our perspectives when it comes to puberty.How Our Idea of Gender is Too GeneralizedThere are a lot of gendered ideas about puberty floating around, and Dr. McKay is here to help separate fact from fiction. To start, she tackles differences between male and female brain development when it comes to mathematical thinking. Many people think that boys are able to configure complicated mathematical concepts before young women, like being able to rotate a 3D object in their minds. Dr. McKay explains that while there may appear to be some truth to the idea if you’re looking at overall averages, it’s not necessarily reflected when studied on a case by case basis. Plus, the difference might not be a result of brain development. If we were examining a brain, Dr. McKay explains, there would be nothing indicating whether it was male or female, as the two are nearly identical. This means it’s possible that learning differences between men and women are from the way we teach them!Dr. McKay confirms that there are some differences along gender lines when it comes to the rate of mood disorders among adolescents–but a lot of this comes from gender roles. For example, young women are more likely to talk to others about the way they’re feeling, but it can cause them to ruminate on certain problems longer than they should. This can cause depressive or anxious thoughts to become more and more ingrained until young women find themselves with a diagnosable mood disorder. Men are less likely to confide in others because they aren’t encouraged to! Instead, they’re more likely to develop anger management issues or alcoholism as a result of repression, Dr. McKay explains.If your teen develops physically earlier or later than their peers, this can also be a gendered issue encompassing mental health, says Dr. MacKay. Young women who develop early tend to be treated as outsiders, leading them to develop anxiety or other mood disorders. Men who develop later are often looked down upon or treated as “wimpy,” leading them down a similar road, Dr. McKay says.Dr. Mckay talks even further about gender and puberty in our interview, and brings up some seriously surprising points! In the episode, we’re also covering why adolescence is such a critical period for learning and growing, even if we don’t think of it that way.Breaking Down the Adolescent BrainDr. McKay explains that there are two times when human brains are the most posed for learning–the toddler years and the teenage years! Two and three year old brains are adjusting to learn talking and walking, while the teenage brain is ripe for learning history, math, science and English as well as empathy and emotional regulation. In our discussion we talk about how we often underestimate teens’ brain power, when we should really be cheering them on!If you’re wondering why teens can be so reactive during this period, it’s because their neural pathways are still developing, and the emotionally reactive parts are the ones that develop first! Dr. Mckay explains how more logical responses tend to arrive in a few years, when teens have refined their reactive thinking and strengthened the pathways that lead to rational responses.One thing parents should look out for in growing teens is what Dr. McKay calls cognitive reappraisal. This is a thought process that is common for developing teenage brains that often leads to social anxiety, insecurity, or fear of rejection. Dr. McKay explains this concept further in our interview and shares how it might be affecting your teen.In the Episode…Dr. McKay’s bountiful experience and wisdom shines t...

Andrew Reiner, author of Better Boys, Better Men, explains the new rigid rules for boys and how we can help our emerging men feel secure in a masculine identity. Plus, tips on how to build emotional resilience in our male teens. Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWe’re all familiar with the term “boys will be boys.” It’s often used when guys are physical, detached, aggressive, and violent. making it seem as though these behaviors are the norm. Much of society acts as though these traditionally “masculine” tendencies are simply intrinsic to male DNA...which can make us feel like there’s nothing we can do when our sons get into trouble for it.But what if there was a way we could talk to our boys to help them realize that this behavior is not the only option? What if we could show them that, by slowing down and thinking about the situation at hand, they may find it wiser to simply keep the peace instead of causing a ruckus? This week, we’re revealing how you can sit down with your son and prevent all the brawling before it starts, or get through to a teen boy who’s masculinity might need a makeover.Our guest is Andrew Reiner, author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency. Andrew is a professor at Towson University, where he teaches a seminar entitled “The Changing Face of Masculinity.” His work has been featured in the New York Times, the Washington Post, NPR and more. He speaks at schools and conferences around the globe...but today he’s sitting down to speak with us!Andrew and I are discussing why it is that boys are compelled to react with violence or aggression when triggered. We’re also diving deep into the importance of vulnerability, and how we can help our sons accumulate a supportive community where they can express their emotions without fear.Taming Toxic MasculinityAlthough we often think that unruly behavior is rooted in male biology, Andrew argues the contrary. As he says in the episode, male and female brains are almost 98% identical– in his eyes, it's our cultural norms and societal pressures that push boys in the direction of violence. That means that if we take the right steps, we as parents could create a generation of men who don’t feel like they have to fight their way through life! But how can we help topple this toxic masculine mentality? To start, Andrew explains that we have to get to the bottom of where aggressive male tendencies originate. He believes it all begins with the way we teach boys, in subtle ways, that they can’t be weak or vulnerable. Then, when someone calls them a name, cuts them off in traffic, or bumps into them in a crowd-making them feel weak–they don’t know what to do but feel ashamed! This shame provokes them to want to get the upper hand, to handle the conflict with aggression, says Andrew. If we want to free our boys from letting shame control their lives, the first step is to have an intentional conversation, Andrew explains. It might help to remind them that when another guy insults them, or tries to rile them up...it’s not personal. Whatever's going on with that guy is not their problem! They don’t have to feel any shame–and letting them know that can make all the difference, says Andrew. If we can help them see that their strength or dignity isn’t on the line just because someone else wants to ruffle their feathers, they’ll be able to keep the peace instead of throwing fists.Now, getting guys comfortable with vulnerability is a lot easier said than done. Andrew and I give some tips in this week’s episode to help boys feel at home with their own emotions.Making Vulnerability ViableHaving been raised to believe they have to live up to society’s toxic masculinity standards, many young men struggle with vulnerability. They’ve been taught to associate it with weakness! It’s not always easy to help them change their way of thinking and become open to being open. However, encouraging our sons to both process and express their emotions can help them be much happier and healthier. Plus, it might even save their lives–many young men are ashamed of feeling anxious or depressed and don’t reach out for help, causing suicide rates among them to rise in recent years.Interestingly, Andrew points out that humans cannot compartmentalize our feelings. If we repress the negative ones, we’ll also repress the positive ones, says. This keeps a lot of our boys, who feel they can’t have intense feelings, from displaying their sadness, but also their joy! Andrew and I talk about how young men often take cues from the media, the same media which shames prominent men for exhibiting deep sadness or happiness. If we want our boys to believe they can feel freely, it might be wise to encourage them to think critically about the dialogue they see about men online and in the news.Andrew advises talking to your son through the physical and spiritual effects of emotions. Why do certain things make them angry while others make them want to jump up and down with excitement? Helping them understand and communicate the way they feel can be a great start to free emotional expression. Although it may seem odd,  Andrew actually suggests that boys talk to themselves about their feelings! Sometimes, it’s the only way they feel safe to start talking things through at all!Whether or not they’re working through things on their own, having a supportive community can help. Andrew and I talk in the episode about how you can help your son build up a safe network and share what he’s going through.Creating a Safe CommunityWhen we think of a group of young men who hang out regularly, we might think of a sports team, or even a group of boys who play video games together. Although these can be good sources of community for young men, Andrew talks about how there are often some elements of misogyny among these groups, or even an atmosphere of toxic competitiveness that pits guys against each other. Behaviors like trash-talking or one-upping each other are pretty common among these communities.Oftentimes, this leads men to turn towards women or girls for deeper emotional support, whether that be a female friend, girlfriend, or a woman in their family. And while this can be helpful, Andrew emphasizes the astronomical comfort men can find from friendship with other men! Even when men have one or two close companions, they often don't feel a deep level of trust with them. If we want our boys to live emotionally healthy lives, encouraging them to be vulnerable with other guys their age can be a good way to start.As Andrew says in the episode, the script for how boys are supposed to look, act, and feel is stricter than ever. It’s no wonder our sons feel the need to act out–they aren’t being taught to handle it all! Luckily, with Andrew’s advice, we can change that.In the Episode….Andrew has a lot of unique ideas about how we can transform visions of masculinity in our society. In addition to the topics mentioned above, we also discuss:Why boys are so worried about “social perfectionism”How most male prisoners have one essential thing in commonWhy testosterone behaves differently than commonly believedHow you can help your son feel comfortable opening u...

Dr. Steven R. Gundry, author of The Energy Paradox and The Plant Paradox, gives us insight into what the science says is slowing us all down, fogging up our brains, and making us look downright lazy. Surprisingly, the answer isn’t simply to get more sleep.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesIt feels like these days, we’re all a little more tired than we’d like to be! We pour ourselves an extra cup of coffee in the afternoon, feed our kids nutritious meals to give them a boost, and declare an early bedtime...but none of it seems to help! You and your kids might feel bogged down by 3 PM, or struggle to finish a basic to-do list. We’re trying to take care of ourselves, so why are we feeling so exhausted?Turns out, the answer is a lot more complicated than you might think–and it’s based in sophisticated nutrition science. Your body’s natural processes have been interrupted by our society’s agricultural and medical practices, and it might be causing you to have a fraction of the energy you once had! The chemicals in your food and the prescriptions you’re taking may be doing more harm than good when it comes to creating a happier, healthier life for yourself and your kids.To shine some light on this energy deficiency, we’re sitting down with Dr. Steven Gundry! He’s a former cardiac surgeon and the author of several successful books on nutritional science, including his new book: The Energy Paradox: What to Do When Your Get-Up-and-Go Has Got Up and Gone. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the mechanisms at play in our body’s digestion and immune systems–and what we’re doing that’s causing those mechanisms to get all kinds of messed up.Ever heard of a microbiome? We’re talking all about how this home for trillions of microorganisms inside your gut serves as the center of your body’s functions….and how our practices are rendering it ineffective. Plus, we’re getting into the real truth about fiber, and unpacking the nuances of metabolic flexibility to explain why we just can’t seem to stay energized.How We Mistreat Our MicrobiomeDid you know that you have trillions of little organisms inside your belly that regulate a huge number of your body’s processes? This is called your microbiome, and it’s an essential part of digestion, immunity, and brain function. Steven explains that we weren’t aware of these microorganisms until recently. Through a fascinating scientific study known as the Human Microbiome Project, we’ve discovered just how much we use the microbial organisms in our gut–and how many issues our diet and medicine are causing!One of the ways we defile this essential system is with antibiotics, says Steven. When we started prescribing them left and right, we didn’t realize that they were actively killing off the contents of our microbiome. It was only with the cutting edge research conducted by the Human Microbiome Project that we learned our mistake–and it’s only just now that we have to come to terms with the damage that’s been done, Steven explains. Plus, we feed antibiotics to all the animals we eat...meaning that those antibiotics are inside us too!Another culprit of this microbiome mistreatment is a chemical compound glyphosine, often referred to as “round up”, explains Steven. Glyphosine is used on most conventional crops to make them easier to harvest–even the products marked non-GMO! Doctors and researchers have found enormous amounts of this chemical compound in young people’s blood, simply from eating crops that have been exposed to it.According to Steven, Glyphosine changes our microbiome to create a syndrome sometimes referred to as “leaky gut” in which toxins “leak” though the lining of our bellies and into the bloodstream, causing inflammation. Plus, Glyphosine blocks the effects of Vitamin D and the adrenal hormone, causing us to be drained and fatigued!There are certain things that are good for our microbiome–and fiber is one of the most important. However, due to misinformation, you may be feeding your family the wrong type of fiber, causing harm to microorganisms instead!Finding the Right FiberAlthough we may not realize it, there are actually two different kinds of fiber: soluble and insoluble. Soluble fiber is the kind our microbiome likes….while insoluble causes serious damage! Even though we might think of grain or bran muffins as being full of healthy fiber, the insoluble fiber they contain actually makes them quite harmful to our microbiomes, as they can’t be broken down and absorbed. Even though we think we’re helping our kids stay healthy, we might not be giving them the fuel to power their bodies, Steven says.As Steven explains in the episode, a lot of the processed food we eat today is broken into simple sugars, protein and fats. This is in stark contrast to our grandparents’ diet of whole foods. Instead of sitting down to consume a potato or an apple, we’re far too often provided with candy, chips, or microwavable dinners which are, as Steven says, stripped of all fiber. Instead, they contain false flavorings to trick your body into thinking there is any fiber at all! Steven suggests reaching for asparagus, yam, artichoke, or avocado instead.Steven quips in the episode that we eat the foods we love, but the food doesn’t love us back! He explains that the food with the most fiber is often bitter food...in other words, bitter is better. In the episode, we go over some recipes from his popular title, The Plant Paradox Cookbook: 100 Delicious Recipes to Help You Lose Weight, Heal Your Gut, and Live Lectin-Free, that can make bitter food more enticing...and get you and your family the fiber they need.If we’re talking about digestion, it's important to discuss metabolic flexibility, says Steven. This is another area where our practices are causing some problems with our energy flow!Our Digestion is Damaged...And How It’s Hurting UsIn the episode, Steven and I discuss a process known as metabolic flexibility–or the way our bodies digest food gradually. The mitochondria, which can be found in our body’s cells, processes the food we eat, and typically sorts through sugars, proteins, and carbohydrates separately, Now, unfortunately, with our consumption of over processed foods, these components are all rushing to our mitochondria at the same time, causing it to get jammed and move about as smoothly as rush hour traffic! This clogged system is another reason why our energy may not be as high as we’d like, Steven explains.In the past, our body would transmit food to glucose, and then start running through the body’s stored fat for fuel. Because of the frequent consumption of processed foods, many of our bodies no longer have the capacity to do this! That’s why when people try to go without juice cleanses or try a keto diet, they find themselves starving. Their body can’t go more than two hours without eating food and adding new fuel to their system.Instead of regular snacking–which Steven says is certain to shorten your lifespan and make you more fatigued than ever, he suggests compressing your eating windows to last between six to eight hours. What does this mean exactly? We talk more in the episode about that! Here’s a hint: it’s much better than ou...

Frank Figliuzzi, author of The FBI Way, shares knowledge on effectively instilling values in a family unit. He walks us through creating a code of conduct based on your family’s values, and shares the number one thing everyone gets wrong about consequences.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesParenting can sometimes feel like it’s never predictable. Even when we think we know our kid, some new interest or personality trait suddenly comes out of left field. Maybe your kid has always been a total carnivore, but this week, all their friends are vegan...so they want to be vegan too! Yesterday, your kid wanted to be a pro basketball player, but today they want to be a painter...tomorrow they’ll tell you they’re destined to be a scientist. It can be dizzying to keep up with your teens as they grow and evolve everyday!But what about when a kid who’s always happy and smiling suddenly seems tired and disinterested in things? Or when your teen who swore they’d never smoke accidentally leaves a vape in the kitchen? When these kinds of unexpected parenting troubles pop up, it’s hard to adjust and react effectively. It can be incredibly challenging to avoid the urge to panic, and nearly impossible to remain cool and parent through peril.According to this week’s guest, the secret to handling the ups and downs is to define our values–and stick to them. His name is Frank Figliuzzi and he’ the former assistant director of the FBI, served as FBI chief inspector for sensitive internal inquiries, and is now a national security analyst for NBC news! His new book, The FBI Way: Inside the Bureau’s Code of Excellence, highlights the principles that make the FBI so successful at handling crises and explains how you can apply those same principles when things go awry with your teen.In the episode, we’re touching on what Frank calls “the seven Cs”, or seven fundamentals that parents can practice to create a harmonious house and handle conflict when it arises. We’re covering the importance of sticking to a code of values, practicing clarity, and enforcing consistent consequences–but not without compassion, credibility and conservancy.Finding Your Family’s Code of ValuesWhen we’re using a device and something goes wrong, we check the manual. If we’re cooking and not sure which spices will taste the best, we look at the recipe. In our nation’s legislative and judicial process, we consult our constitution for guidance about what’s best for our citizens. So why shouldn’t parents and teens have a guide that they can refer back to when things feel out of control? In the episode, Frank emphasizes the importance of having a code–the first of the seven Cs– that your family follows and falls back on in times of uncertainty. It’s what the FBI does...and you should try it too!Sound overwhelming? It doesn’t have to be, says Frank. It can be as simple as promising to always treat each other with respect, or agreeing to always be honest.As more things are added to the list, you might even want to write them out to ensure accountability. Frank explains in the episode how his son (now a lawyer, of course), asked if they could all formally sign a contract declaring their families core values! Once you’ve created this code, Frank explains that your family should act as a conservancy–the second of the 7 Cs. This indicates a collective effort, meaning everyone is equally responsible for maintaining this code, including parents.In order to ensure that everyone abides by the code, Frank believes that consequences (number three of the seven Cs) are super important. Without consequences, the rules tend to fall flat! When someone violates one of the values in your family code–say, being dishonest and lying about finishing their homework–and nothing happens as a result, they’ll just keep on doing it. Soon enough, they won’t feel any need to be honest about anything anymore, since there’s no consequences for dishonesty. But if they can no longer play their XBox as a result of their behavior...they might be more concerned with the truth the next time around. Just like in the FBI, there’s no lying under oath!The fourth of the seven Cs is clarity, and Frank reminds us that this is of the utmost importance. Even if we have consequences in place, they’re totally useless if they’re unknown! By making sure things are clear, we ensure that teens know consequences before getting themselves into trouble. If they’re aware that they’ll be grounded for coming home after 11:00, they can’t claim they didn’t know, or try to get away with it! Plus, clarity helps to maintain fairness. If everyone is clear on the 11 o’clock curfew, then you’ll have to punish both kids for violating it...even if you tend to be more lenient with one than the other.These four Cs may outline the basics of creating a code of values, but there are a few more principles Frank recommends that parents follow if they want to keep things on track despite road bumps!Compassion, Credibility, and ConsistencyOk, so all this talk about consequences might feel a bit authoritative. In our interview, Frank explains that to avoid becoming a tyrant, compassion is key! Frank and I discuss how, when the family is under stress or a kid is experiencing an intense emotional rollercoaster, part of parenting through it is giving kids some wiggle room to fail or mess up.Frank explains that when someone is set to face punishment in the FBI, the organization takes into account more than just the transgression at hand. Maybe the offender was under a lot of pressure that day, or expected to handle something outside of their usual scope of responsibility. It’s okay to give teens this same leniency when things aren’t quite going to plan.It’s not only kids that mess up, it’s parents too. That is why parents need to be transparent and embrace the sixth of the seven Cs: credibility. As Frank and I discuss in the episode, by admitting your own mistakes and taking steps to fix things when you misstep,you show your kids you're capable of taking credit for your actions. In turn, this makes you more credible as a figure of authority, says Frank.The last of the seven Cs is consistency–meaning sticking to your code of values, even when things get rough. When you spy the vape your teen left in the kitchen, it’s easy to blow up on them–but if you specified the importance of respecting each other, it might be wise to think about how you can go about the conversation respectfully. On the flipside, having defined honesty as a core value might make it so that your teen is more willing to be open about where they got the vape, how often they’ve been using it and why they decided to get it in the first place.When it comes down to it, Frank’s seven C’s are about creating a home environment that promotes justice and fairness–while making sure rules are still followed! By defining a code of values and taking the appropriate steps to make sure it sticks, you and your kids might just find the light at the end of whatever tunnel your family is facing.In the Episode...There are so many valuable takeaways from this week’s interview with Frank! On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about…How we can persevere through turmoil in our familiesWhy k...