Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Welcome! My guest today is Lori Petro, an advocate for children and families. Lori is a conscious parent educator and a mom to a young daughter. Our discussion today is around raising caring and sensitive children. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: Why a “conscious” parent educator? 13 Principles of Conscious Parenting (from Alfie Kohn) Behavior and Motives: Look UNDER the surface How we make kids be reactive The connection with our child is THE most important thing Children with unusual sensitivities Three areas to understand sensitive children: relationships, stress, and skills Explosive behavior and self-regulation Peace and mindfulness Noisy environments can be overwhelming Skill building Fixing stuff in my life Looking for signals What are they trying to tell me? Be who you are right now Resources:www.teachthroughlove.com TEACH through Love Facebook Page The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an amazing show with Amy McCready, back again for another conversation! Amy is the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, which provides online training for parents of toddlers to teens. She was with us in Episode 10 when we discussed the Me, Me, Me Epidemic. Amy is the mother of two college-aged kids and is the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time and The Me, Me, Me Epidemic. We’re talking about money, and how to encourage and empower kids in their sense of money. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: Most of us don’t have much training in money management! Four systems of money management and the problems with each: Money as needed Money as reward Money as payment No strings attached allowance The benefits to the “no strings attached” allowance Suggestions for allowances and kids’ finances Realistic budgeting for kids’ expenditures Tools to use to get kids to contribute around the house The difference in a chore and a contribution “When-Then” statements Family meetings: brainstorming solutions Loans and credit scores---for kids! Resources:www.positiveparentingsolutions.comFind Amy on Facebook, too!If I Have to Tell You One More Time by Amy McCreadyThe Me, Me, Me Epidemic by Amy McCready Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What an honor to get to share the conversation I had with Grant Gibbs, the executive director of The Hippo Roller Water Project.From the website:"Designed in Africa for tough rural conditions, the durable Hippo Roller makes it extremely easy to collect up to 5x more water than a single bucket, by simply rolling it along the ground."Listen to the conversation, click the links below and find out how YOU can be a supporter of this important work.Where to find Hippo Roller:www.hipporoller.org l Facebook l TwitterJoin the cause!Joyful Courage is joining the Hippo Roller team in their effort towards bringing 200 Hippo Rollers to Haiti.You can help too!! Head over to www.hipporoller.org/haiti Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! I’m excited to introduce you to my guest today! Sandy Blackard is an award-winning author and parenting coach. As the mother of two grown daughters, Sandy reached a frantic point in her own parenting challenges that led to the passion she has for helping parents acquire tools and tips that bring SUCCESS! She’s here to share her wisdom with us, so join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: How “play therapy” set Sandy on her course What does “Say what you see” really mean? Listening, interacting, and retraining how you see the world Name that strength Acknowledgement vs. Praise The transformation of a rule-breaker Powerlessness vs. perceived helplessness A child’s three basic needs: experience, connection, and power How to negotiate power struggles How to handle whining Downstairs and Upstairs Brain Modeling authenticity Aligning the child in their greatness What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Courage comes when I’m facing a challenge. It’s a reminder of what’s waiting on the other side of the challenge.” Resources:www.languageoflistening.comSay What You See by Sandy BlackardFind Sandy on Facebook and Twitter  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Nicole Schwarz, who joined me for Episode 39 about helping kids deal with negative self-talk. She is a parent coach, child and family therapist, and the founder of Imperfect Families. All of us parents are in some phase of that back-to-school transition time, so let’s hear Nicole’s thoughts on this subject!What you’ll hear in this episode: The nighttime routine: getting in the mindset of an earlier bedtime Essential family routines for back-to-school The power of shifting from “but” to “and” Urgency is contagious The importance of daily jobs for kids Why kids NEED to make their own lunch Homework: how parents can be supportive and available How to support rather than shame “The bad-kid cycle” How to stick with your kids through emotional blow-ups Why you can’t assume the problem OR the solution Resources:www.imperfectfamilies.comFind Nicole on Facebook (Imperfect Families), on Pinterest (Nicole Schwarz), and on Twitter (NicoleForFamilies) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I am going a bit rouge and spending time talking about this whole "Intentional Parenting" thing I am throwing around all over town...I share thoughts and feedback from parents who dug deep in the #JoyfulCourage10 program and speak into the very human need for connection and meaning.Intentional parenting is about us, friends. It is about us managing our own baggage to show up better for our kids. Listen in and let me know if you have any questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest for today’s show is a friend of mine and a fellow Positive Discipline parent educator. Kelly Pfeiffer lives in South Carolina and has raised four kids in a blended family situation. After a divorce, she remarried a man with two children, which blended their family with kids of ages 15, 15, 13, and 12. Those children are now young adults, and Kelly has been a parent educator for the last 16 years. Today’s topics include positive discipline parenting tools, focusing on our discussion of “special time,” a way to guarantee one-on-one time with each child to maintain the vital parent-child connection. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: How Kelly was introduced to Positive Discipline: “Why do parents not know this?” Why having tools and a formula doesn’t guarantee an easy parenting road Variables in blending families The Special Time tool: how to present it to parents A magical connection between parent and child Kelly’s advice for Special Time: Plan it and put it on the calendar As much as possible, let it be child-led Incorporate non-competitive games Use bike rides, picnics, and other outdoor activities Limit distractions (Put away your cell phone!) Use bedtime routines Take advantage of time with a younger child when an older one has an activity Take advantage of time with an older child when a younger one needs to nap Have an older child help with dinner preparation How connection helps diffuse power struggles Tools to repair and recover from hurts Why parents need to say “I’m sorry” Don’t give up when a teen is resistant Ideas for saving Special Time money What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Being courageous, feeling the fear, and doing it anyway---with JOY!” Resources:www.thinkitthroughparenting.comFind Kelly on Facebook and Twitter (@posdisparenting)Become a Positive Discipline Parent Educator at Kelly’s 2-day workshop in Greenville, SC, in OctoberEmail newsletter: Find out more and sign up for these parenting tools on Kelly’s website!Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson, Ed.D. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Sharon Ballantine! With 3 children to parent, she turned to books for help with parenting, but she never had the time to read and process the information in the books. So, with no other options available to her, she decided to rely on her own intuition and her own Internal Guidance System for parenting. She began using this technique and the law of attraction to manifest exactly what she wanted as a parent. In this episode, Sharon shares exactly how she made it all happen! Join us! Sharon Ballantine is a Parenting and Life Coach and Founder of the Ballantine Parenting Institute. Her book, The Art of Blissful Parenting, guides parents with practical as well as spiritual advice in raising their children. It also guides parents on how to get into alignment, discover and use their own IGS before they can teach their children.In this episode Sharon also discusses: How to find answers within yourself You have an internal guidance system that begins with your feelings Why leaving the room can help you get “in alignment” to parent Physical movement can be a tool to help bring you into a centered place of alignment Changing the subject that is causing stress and bad energy can cause a shift in energy The teenage years are the years of “personal discovery” Parents spend the teen years in fear mode and resort to using control Whoever a teenager is today is not their final destination. Be patient; they will change. Why we want to avoid making our children feel bad at all costs Staying centered will give you the coping skills to deal with any kind of crazy you have to deal with “This too shall pass” - it is true especially for teens Ways to deal with teen behavior that is harmful Focusing on the future and consequences of actions can allow a teen to take responsibility and look at the big picture How to support your child’s development of their Internal Guidance System Ways her failures as a parent contributed to finding her Internal Guidance System What joyful courage means to her and how it contributes to bliss  Resources Mentioned on the Show: The Secret - Rhonda ByrneThe Art of Blissful Parenting - Sharon Ballantine Connect with Sharon:Website - sharonballantine.com Facebook/sharonballantineTwitter/LifeCoachSB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an inspiring episode with my friend, Beth Caldwell. Beth is a mom of two, a former civil rights lawyer, and a blogger who lives in Seattle. In 2014, at age 37, Beth found a lump during a breast self-exam, which turned out to be metastatic cancer already in her bones. You’ll appreciate Beth’s genuine honesty about our topic today: as parents of young children, how do we deal with illness, trauma, death, and loss? What do we tell them? How much is TOO MUCH for them to handle? You don’t want to miss this conversation, so join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: Beth’s cancer journey from finding the lump until now The feedback from Beth’s frank and open blog: 99% positive Currently, her cancer is in her brain, right arm, and liver New breakthroughs with new drugs The worst part of chemo? Fatigue How to talk to kids with age appropriate language about cancer Don’t hide the truth: share what’s important for them to know Her son’s recent speech about advocacy for better research How to be open and create a safe space for their questions Be mindful: don’t live in fear and trauma Why Beth insists on “planning ahead” How cancer affects your spouse What does “joyful courage” mean to Beth? “Courage is not an absence of fear; it’s being afraid and doing it anyway.”Resources:www.cultofperfectmotherhood.com "The Cat is Out of the Bag" Beth's son finds out she will die of her cancerwww.metup.org The Cancer that Wouldn’t Go Away by Hadassa Field I Still Just Want to Pee Alone (series by Jen Mann and others, including Beth!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jo Langford is a therapist and sex educator from Seattle, WA. Our conversation today will cover porn, social media ediquette, and sexting (yikes!). In a culture that is becoming ever more sexualized, how do we keep our kids safe and smart about what is out there? Joe and I have a very candid conversation about conversations to have with our children, while still maintaining relationship and family values. Highlights: Jo has two kids, a middle schooler and an almost middle schooler. He is living his work! He’s been changing the world and making it better since high school. Joe trains parents, teachers and staff of organizations such as the YMCA and the Boys and Girls Club. Harder for kids to NOT see porn, than it is to be ABLE to see it. Families are getting in touch with Joe because their 10-16 year old is looking at a lot of porn parents talk about it and child continues to engage in it. What conversations you can have with your kids when they are noticing all of the opportunities to see/look at porn. When you see porn you can never “un-see” it. Instead of “how do I keep my child from being exposed to porn?” today, we need to be asking, “how do I handle it when my child sees porn?” – this is the reality based on statistic Open conversations are key… Keep them talking, by practicing your neutral face and manage your own stuff when they come to you to have tough conversations. The message becomes “I can handle what you bring me, no matter what.” What happens in the brain? Kicks up the pleasure centers, big hit of dopamine… If they continue to watch, the brain gets desensitized and wants to get to the next level. Talk to kids about building boundaries around tech. Encourage them to have real relationships, how to unplug, how to manage friends/people who sext. Rules/guidelines around where the phone/screen lives at night… Don’t wait until you NEED the guidelines – put them into place now. “Monitoring” software that Joe recommends – builds muscles of restraint and self control when kids have some access while also knowing that parents will see where they go – “we are trying to raise good grown ups” Qustidio – controlled through wifi – put the browser on kids devices. Controls, time limits, helpful. Disney’s Circle – easy to use, hooks up to wifi, all devices get put into categories (grown ups, teens, kids) and put time limits on use, also over 3G. AWESOME! Best strategy is to put most of the ownership and responsibility on the kids. “Not about me trusting you, it’s about you showing that you are trustworthy.” Making agreements together is key to our kids follow through. The internet is forever! You leave a trail…. Grown ups are the models of what is appropriate/inappropriate – be good role models! Roll out the SM access, rather than giving kids full access from the beginning. Let them flex and develop their muscles. Get on the apps they want to use with them, let them teach you, normalize communicating with each other through this media. How do we help our kids deal with sexting? Statistically 20% - 30% of teens send pics, doubles when it is only “words” Girls sometimes start the behavior because they know the boys will respond. Joe advises the boys to respond with “this isn’t something you need to do… here are three things I like about you besides your boobs” – our girls are getting the wrong message about how to connect/get attention. Kids have less hangups about sex and seem to be more comfortable with their bodies, but there is an abyss they can tumble into – we want them to be more discerning and thoughtful about who they share that with. Developing a discerning mind… All about practice.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices