Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Welcome! My guest today is Debbie Reber, the founder of TiLT Parenting, an online destination and podcast. The website was the result of parenting a “differently-wired” child with neurological differences. She found it hard to find information and support for the challenges that parents face when ADHD, autism, and dyslexia are the diagnoses. Her family moved from Seattle to Amsterdam three years ago, where she homeschools Asher today. Debbie’s desire was to create a community and a podcast to give parental support and to help kids feel accepted, understood, and heard. Let’s learn more together! What you’ll hear in this episode:  Preschool experiences: disruptive behavior and meltdowns Year-by- year education plan Assumptions that others make about ADHD & ODD Challenges of living in Amsterdam The Tilt Parenting Manifesto, based on true acceptance Atypical kids are everywhere—at least 20% of the population Why we don’t need the Shroud of Secrecy Ten Tilts to Shift the Game Amazing response from other parents The Vision? Shifting the whole parenting paradigm When options are limited for “normal” activities, like camp When normal strategies don’t work The benchmark mentality—usually by age 6 Using resources Become fluent in your child’s language The problem-solving approach, and tweaking and tweaking and tweaking Joy in the growth of the child Self-care for parents is important! Asher joins in on the podcast for special episodes!  What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Having peace and joy is something I want parents to have in their experience. It takes a lot of courage to show up and be vulnerable in your relationship with your child and to lean into it. Embrace what is and notice the little things that bring peace and happiness.” Resources:www.tiltparenting.com Connect on Debbie’s Facebook group also! The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rebecca Michi, a children's sleep consultant and mother of two daughters, shares tips on sleep issues. Topics include unique sleep patterns, bedtime routines, negotiating choices, teens' sleep patterns, and the importance of sleep. The podcast also explores the challenges of transitioning children to independent sleeping and creating a positive sleep environment.

I am THRILLED to have my friend, mentor and CO-CONSPIRATOR on the show today to talk about being women, mamas, and our middle school girl's workshop, GLAM CAMP 2016! Krista Petty Raimer is the founder of Boldly Embody Life and a beacon of lite and transformation to all who have the pleasure of crossing paths with her.Take a little time to listen in and hear what we are up to and consider what it means to be a caretaker of the daughter you have... :)Check out GLAM CAMP here!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Sarah MacLaughlin, a compassion coach, child behavior decoder, parent educator, author, speaker, and warrior for kindness. Sounds like a busy woman, doesn’t she? There is more! She is also the mother of an eight-year-old and is a licensed social worker in Maine. Sarah was a guest for Episode 30, when she discussed Setting Limits. I’m so excited to have her back to help us make sense out of some of the troubling current events in our country. How do we raise our kids to treat ALL people with dignity and respect in the midst of a predominantly white culture? How are we raising our kids to make a better world? Join us for this important and timely conversation.What you’ll hear in this episode: The responsibility of parents today Stop talking and LISTEN! Making it all make sense to kids Implicit bias: What is it? Being rich vs. being wealthy Why we fear discomfort Our hierarchal society (it exists) Finding opportunities for diversity What’s NORMAL? The anti-bias classroom Why we can’t ignore US history Why being “colorblind” is NOT the answer Kids—they are ALWAYS watching! How to confront others and express your discomfort Is your home “whitewashed”? Resources:www.sarahmaclaughlin.comUse Sarah’s name to find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.Love First: Parenting to Reduce Racism, Sexism, Homophobia and Other Forms of Hate, by Sarah MacLaughlinLaying the Groundwork for Acceptance and Inclusion, by Sarah MacLaughlinTalking to my White Child About Race, by Sarah MacLaughlin 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child, by Barbara Mathias EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked For My black Opinion on White Privilege, by Lori Lakin Hutcherson Thoughts From A Middle Class White Mama, by Casey O'Roarty White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh Another Round podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest for today’s show is Tracy Cutchlow, the author of Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science (and What I’ve Learned So Far). The book fulfills Tracy’s passion to help new parents with information and support as they embark on the parenthood journey. Tracy also writes a blog and articles for the Washington Post and Huffington Post. Tracy and her husband, Luke, live in Seattle, where they enjoy life with their four-year- old daughter, Geneva. Unbelievably, Tracy wrote her book during the first 18 months of Geneva’s life! We’ll talk about the tools and wisdom in her book and the topic of helping our youngest children develop a growth mindset. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: The unusual format in her book that makes it helpful for busy, new parents Development challenges of very young children “How many times do I have to tell you?” Why children follow their desires (even when they don’t follow OUR desires) Our expectations vs. normal development Why parenting education should be included in well-child visits to the pediatrician Behaviors: Why they meet the child’s innate needs of experience, power, and connection Why children seek connection, but will settle for attention Look at their behavior through the lens of their needs. Growth mindset: What is it? Acknowledgement vs. praise: What’s the difference? How empathy fits naturally into the growth mindset What it takes is small tweaks in our language Why our kids NEED to make mistakes The power of teaching kids about their brains What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “It means taking action, but having a lightness and a playfulness—looking for the good instead of the bad.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Excited to dig into sibling rivalry today on the Ask Casey episode!!A listener wrote in:My kids - particularly my 8 and 9 yo - feel like they have to compete with each other all the time. Every time one does something/gets something different from the other, they tend to mention to the other almost like a taunt. I think on one hand they want their sibling to be happy for them (like mom or dad would be), and on the other hand, I think they want to show how much more special they are. Even if it is innocent, the other kid will still take it as a put down as if it's expected and react with shock, become grudgingly upset, and whining. It is so annoying and constant. It even goes so far as every question I ask has to be directed at one individual bc they will get upset over who answers first. They will even just smile in a nonverbal taunting sort of way to get the other one upset. This happens anytime of day from when they first get up to evening. It happens at home, in the car, in the store. They don't usually do it if there are other kids their age or a little older around - I think bc they get embarrassed. I've seen them snap out of it instantly. It seems to happen less at bedtime maybe because of routine and parent led family time? When it happens my physical response is to get tense in my face and jaw, my breath gets short, and then I feel tension in my shoulders. Emotionally, I start to feel exasperated.  Yes, this is all probably normal on some level and we are working deliberately to include special/individual child led time with each kid. Bugs and wishes has helped bc they feel like others hear them and respect them more. Just looking for the next step to take it to the next level.  We don't want to foster competition in our family we value working together and supporting one another. I want them to be able to be happy for their sibling without feeling less. I feel like just writing this out is helping form some ideas to try, but I would love to hear yours as I'm sure mine are not the only kids who tend to do this. (I was fiercely and painfully competitive with my sister growing up). Resources for parenting siblings: Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber and Mazlish Peaceful Parent, Happy Sibling by Dr. Laura Markham Eps 37: Dr. Laura Markham on holding space for siblings to get along::::::::::Listeners!!! Chime in!! What are your tips/thoughts/experiences around sibling rivalry??Join the conversation on the live and love with joyful courage pageIf you have questions for an Ask Casey episode, fill out the form and send it my way!!::::::::::THANK YOU!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kate Orson is on the podcast today, and I absolutely love where our conversation went!!Kate's bio from her website:KAte is a Hand in Hand parenting instructor, and author of Tears Heal: How To Listen To Children. Originally from the UK she now live in Basel, Switzerland, with her husband, author Toni Davidson, and our four year old daughter Ruby.Kate has written articles for a number of different parenting magazines including The Green Parent, Juno and Smallish.Kate offer parenting workshops, consultations, both online via skype or in person.I reached out to Kate to talk about getting children's cooperation around chores. In talking to her, and learning more about the Hand In Hand parenting approach, our conversation lead us down the road to understanding how intentional listening and presence with children can invite the very cooperation we are looking for.Kate wrote an article titled 25 Tips for Having Fun While Cleaning UpHere is the Montessori list of age appropriate chores ((super helpful!))Things to remember when we are hoping for cooperation: set limits lightness play show faith and trust your child's ability listen practice special time More about "stay listening"::::::::::Where to find Kate:website i facebook i twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! Today’s episode features TWO guests, Amy Lang and Dr. Jen O’Ryan. Amy is a sexuality educator who helps parents have conversations with kids about healthy sexuality; she previously joined us for Episodes 8 and 33. Jen holds a PhD in human behavior and specifically works with children and adolescents in gender minorities, especially LGBTQ kids. She joined us for Episode 35. These conversations were prompted by the important talking points which emerged from two recent news stories: the Stanford rape case and the Orlando nightclub shooting. Join us for these important conversations!What you’ll hear in this episode:From Amy: The Stanford case boils down to consent: How do we help our kids be smarter than that? Bad decisions and entitlement: a dangerous mix Teach kids about consent: Use the words permission, asking and giving, and agreement. When everyone is “out of their heads,” there is NO CONSENT! Yes means YES. No means NO. Stop means STOP! With young kids, respect their right to say no to unwanted hugs/kisses; as adults, ASK for a hug/kiss. How to use transition phrases to awkward moments “Tricky people” Be explicit with kids about family rules. Plant seeds about sexuality conversations. Teach them NOT to expect entitlement. Amy’s book about dating, to help kids figure out their dating values (See Resources below) Why we need to model conflict resolution for our kids “Yes” girls and red flags in dating—Are you ready for sex? Be open, available, and neutral for your kids. From Jen: With news of any tragedy, it’s better to give kids small pieces of information that they can process rather than overwhelm them with ALL the details. How to “check in” with your LGBTQ kids Jen’s experience in London this week with a drag queen show paying tribute to the Orlando victims Adults have communities and support systems in place, but most kids don’t. The human element of these victims: brother, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, etc. Social change is a product of humanization. The verbage to use? LGBTQ, queer, etc. Remember that kids process information at different speeds than adults. Have conversations with kids about safety, dangers, reassurance, and empowerment. The best response is always unity and solidarity. With 5-7 year olds: listen and watch how they play, and make space for them to express feelings. With older kids: create safe spaces for them to talk, and check for signs of depression or social withdrawal. It’s OK to talk about it! Resources:Dating Smarts: What Every Teen Needs to Know to Date, Relate, or Wait by Amy Langwww.birdsandbeesandkids.comwww.birdsandbeescourse.com (Amy’s new online course for parents!)www.savvyparentssafekids.comTea Consent video (on youtube!)www.mykidcameout.com (Jen’s website with resources, blog, and email info. Find her on Facebook, too!)Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, ages 1-21 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So happy to welcome Maria Dismondy to the show for my June BONUS episode!! Maria is an award winning author and has written many books for children that engage and inspire them to consider the skills needed to be a good friend and problem solver. She spent time in the classroom before having her own children, and uses her time in schools to inform what she writes about in her books.::::::::::Maria's books:The Littlest Linebacker - A Story of Determination Chocolate Milk Por Favor - Celebrating Diversity with Empathy Spoonful of Sweetness - and Other Delicious Manners Pink Tiara Cookies for ThreeSpaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun - Having the Courage to be Who You Are The Juice Box Bully - Empowering Kids to Stand Up for Others The Potato Chip Champ - Discovering Why Kindness Counts::::::::::Find Maria on You TubeFollow her on InstagramCheck out her websiteConversation starters from Pinterest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is a dear friend, Julietta Skoog, who is a positive discipline trainer. She joined us as a guest on Episode 4 about Family Meetings. It’s hard to believe that we’re here at Episode 48 now! I’m so thrilled to have Julietta back again so that we can all benefit from her wealth of parenting knowledge. She teaches many classes and workshops for parents, in addition to being a school counselor and psychologist in Seattle, where she works with hundreds of students. Her most important parenting work, however, is at home with her children, ages 4 and 7. Today’s topic is all about Toddlers—raising them and dealing with those around us who might not agree with our parenting methods. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: Toddlers are biologically driven to explore the world through visual learning and touch. We need to find a way to bridge between our world and their world. They need to know that you hear them and understand them. Connect with them, see them, and hear them. With 2-3 year olds, redirection and distraction can be effective tools to move them on to what they need to do next. What it means to “get them to the second location” With older toddlers, use curiosity questions and give them a wait time. With younger toddlers, limit their choices to ones that you’re ok with. Mutual respect is essential—even with toddlers! Help them get excited about the next step with PLAY. Use deep firmness and structure. How should we handle destructive behaviors? Speak consistently Model connection and firmness Supervise! Model and help them learn empathy Transitions cause anxiety for kids, so do your prevention work! In dealing with others’ opinions, remember that we’re all challenged as parents; we’re all doing the best we can with the tools we have.Resources:www.besproutable.com (Julietta has video examples and other parenting resources.)Julietta's website l Facebook Join the Joyful Courage Facebook group: Live and Love with Courage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices