Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Welcome! My guest today is Kris Prochaska, a former therapist who uses her intuition, diagnostic skills, and ability to read people’s energy. Her desire is to coach women in how to embody sacred leadership at home and at work to listen and live according to their inner voice. Kris was a 2015 TEDxBend speaker and is the author of Life Well Spoken: Free Your Inner Voice and Prosper. She is a busy mom to Anja, 7, and Eli, 11, and is happily married to—and still in love with—her hubby, Mike.What you’ll hear in this episode: Kris began her career journey as a therapist, but tired of focusing on what’s “wrong.” She wanted to discover what’s “right”! Kris approaches her coaching sessions under the premise that the client really does know best. Kris discusses her TED talk experience and the responses she received to her topic: Why don’t we see our kids as equals? Kris shares the irony in her TED talk in that she was not in alignment with her natural energy and truth. The goal in parenting is NOT to control our kids, but to teach them to use their tools to become their very best. Our kids are equally deserving of dignity and respect, but that doesn’t mean there are no limits or boundaries. The parenting attitude should be, “What’s in the highest and best good for our family in the long term?” We should listen to the voice of our kids and let them be a part of decision-making. We’re afraid if we teach them to listen to themselves that they will run rampant. The “little voices,”—do YOU hear them? They seek to make you look good, stay safe, and fit in-- -no matter what. How do you tell the difference between your “little voices” and your intuition? The “little voices” will make you feel small, constricted, and pressured. Your true inner voice is expansive, calm, and peaceful. Your energy shift can affect those around you. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “When we have the courage to step into that inner voice place and what we know, it takes courage to do that over and over again. The returns are infinite. That’s the blessing we give to the world.”Resources:www.krisprochaska.comFind her on Facebook and Instagram: MessyMysticMama. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here is what I got from a listener:Hey lady!As I said in my post, Sheane (my teacher ;)) is really volatile right now, and so much of what she's saying is full of disrespect and sass. Oh, and often high volume. It's driving me nuts. I suspect it's because summer is upon us, and she is worried about the transition, having to say goodbye to her teacher, etc., as she's so sensitive so it's freaking her out. If I say, "Please sit down and finish your breakfast" (she gets up several times during mealtimes, mostly to cartwheel), she'll yell, "MOM! Stop telling me that! I was going to!!!" Or, she's started to respond, "I don't care!" or "I don't have to!" Shaun and I have really been working on our tone with each other and the kids, so I feel like we're really modeling ways to disagree, ask questions, etc., without being disrespectful. And, we've been working on our connection with her, each of us committing to ensuring that she is feeling that sense of belonging and significance. So, I'm somewhat stumped now as to where to go with this. Often she's outright saying, "NO!" or is moaning and groaning about every situation, even when choice and inviting language is used. I did just take the "is your child sensitive" quiz that was posted on the FB page, and she scores off the charts. Thoughts? This child is teaching the hell out of me.So grateful for parents who reach out for support!! Enjoy this episode of Ask Casey as I do my best to share advice and feedback on this behavior that drives us ALL mad!! Back talk video  Article on consent – good man project “Our kids are doing the best they can with the skills they have.” What/How questions Connect before correct Get curious about your child’s experience too Offer the opportunity for a redo They need to have the space for you to say “that wasn’t the best way to handle this situation, let’s try it again.” Practice being non-attached (don’t take it personally) “Tell me about that…” and then LISTEN DEEPLY The goal is to help our kids build skills to navigate disappointment in a way that isn’t hurtful to others, themselves or the environment around them. Soothing basket PDF Hold space for them to be uncomfortable and trust them to get to the other side :::::::::: Listeners!!! Chime in with your thoughts!! What are your tips/thoughts/experiences around setting limits for screen time?? Join the conversation on the live and love with joyful courage page If you have questions for an Ask Casey episode, fill out the form and send it my way!! :::::::::: THANK YOU!!     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Dr. Michele Borba, a globally-recognized educational psychologist and parenting, bullying, and character expert. Her aim is to strengthen children’s empathy and resilience to break the cycle of youth violence. She has delivered keynotes and workshops to over 1 million participants on 5 continents and authored 24 books translated into 14 languages. Her latest book is out on June 7, and is titled Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. Parents and educators will benefit greatly from Dr. Borba’s wisdom and insights. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: Michele has experience as a special education teacher and working on school shooting prevention and bullying prevention programs. Much of the world’s violence narrows down to the primary need of empathy. What is empathy? The ability to “feel” with someone, to step in and understand where another person is coming from. Empathy has emotional and cognitive components. In researching her book, Michele learned from Holocaust rescuers that empathy was modeled for them by their parents, so it was natural for them to care about helping others. In the last 30 years, empathy in children has dropped by 40%, while narcissism has increased by 58%. Michele explains “The Selfie Syndrome” and how it kills empathy. Michele shares the following about learning empathy: It’s a “womb-to-tomb” scenario, so you can start learning at any age. Children are hard-wired for empathy at birth. Infants go through the first step of empathy when they attach to their mothers. Around age 1, emotional literacy begins when a child understands another’s clues to sadness or hurt. The problem today is that children are learning to tune in to digital devices and not to each other. #1 Tip: Teach your child to look at the color of the eyes of the person speaking to learn to “tune in.” Michele’s book teaches activities to cultivate empathy, to listen better, and to stand up to a bully. How to teach children the A, B, C’s of recognizing stress The “empathy gap” of overwhelmed kids Many “self-regulation” techniques are recommended in the book. Why we MUST teach coping strategies to our kids! How to teach them to take care of someone else’s heart Why saying “I’m sorry” is NOT the best option Michele gives some baby steps that parents can take as a starting point to increase empathy in their kids. “Think Big, Start Small”---choose ONE thing to do Michele has “Bully Buster” techniques and skills in the book. What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “Joyful Courage is the most wonderful concept you can imagine. Having courage brings real joy. We need to build kids from the inside out. It’s the real miracle point of your heart opening to another.” Resources:www.commonsensemedia.orgwww.micheleborba.comFind Dr. Borba on Facebook and Twitter and find her books on Amazon.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Deborah MacNamara is a brilliant voice in parent education and if was so fun to get to know her on the podcast!Dr. Deborah MacNamara is on Faculty at the Neufeld Institute and author of Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (or anyone who acts like one) She presents, teaches, and writes on all facets of child and adolescent development based on the relational-developmental approach of Gordon Neufeld. She is also in private practice where she offers counselling services to parents and professionals in making sense of learning, behavioural, and developmental issues in kids. Deborah is a dynamic teacher and experienced counsellor who makes developmental science come to life in the everyday context of home and classroom.She was an amazing guest and I KNOW you will be left is awe of all you have learned while listening to our conversation!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this bonus episode, I talk with my friend, Victoria Sexton all about how to use aromatherapy for wellness.She breaks down what essential oils are, how to use a diffuser, and how to handle it when theres loads of snot and a cough (thats when I typically cross over to the over the counter stuff).I know you will find value in this show and walk away feeling super excited about using aromatherapy in your home. My diffusers been ordered.From Victoria - Antibacterial Essential oils:Orange Eucalyptus Rosemary Frankincense Lavender PeppermintNote: Do not apply essential oils to infants. Use a diffuser instead. For kids years 2 and above use a dilution of 1% of essential oils (6 drops per ounce).How to follow Victoria:www.naturalgoodnessskincare.com Facebook Pinterest<3THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!! I am so honored to have you out there, appreciating the conversations happening here. Please reach out, check in, let me know what you love about the podcast. Let me know your questions. I am here for you!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so honored to have Rebecca Eanes on the podcast this week!!Rebecca Eanes is a best selling author, the founder of positive-parents.org, creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond, and a contributing editor to Creative Child Magazine where she does most of her writing currently. Her books are The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting which has been a #1 best seller in it's category on Amazon, and a co-authored book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early Childhood, which has also been an Amazon best seller internationally. Her new book, Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, will be released on June 7, 2016. You can preorder it now at Amazon.Blog posts and articles by Rebecca mentioned during the podcast: Parenting the Highly Sensitive Boy Disciplining the Sensitive Child Create A Calm Down Area Does Time-In Reward Children?Books mentioned on the podcast: The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron The Strong Sensitive Boy by Ted Zeff Parenting Without Power Struggles by Susan StifflemanPre - Order Rebeccas new book -  Positive Parenting: The Essential Guide NOWWith your preorder you will receive exclusive access to her Facebook Book Club experience where you will get support from Rebecca, complimentary PDF for each chapter, support and accountability for lasting change, AND be entered to win books, ecourse and parent coaching sessions with top parenting coaches!! Follow Rebecca:www.positive-parents.org Positive Parenting Toddlers and Beyond Facebook Page Positive Parents on Pinterest @BeckyEanes on Twitter @RebeccaEanes on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Jiovann Carrasco, a psychotherapist in Austin, TX. Jiovann is the owner of the Austin Mindfulness Center, a meditator, and the author of an online mindfulness program called Follow your Breath. He is an engaged and connected father to two young kids and worked as a stay-at-home dad for two years! Let’s jump into this topic of mindfulness with Jiovann!What you’ll hear in this episode: How Jiovann began practicing meditation in 2008, as a result of the anxiety and panic attacks from his stressful job as a therapist at a group home How Zen meditation changed Jiovann and allowed him to connect with himself like never before How does Jiovann define mindfulness? “Attending to whatever arises in the present moment without trying to change it or judge it.” Jiovann explains the benefits to mindfulness in parenting. Why Jiovann took a popular course on Positive Discipline and became a certified parent educator Jiovann explains how to bring mindfulness to even the everyday mundane tasks required in parenting. How Jiovann structures his early morning meditation practice and time with his kids How kids already know how to be mindful and present WAY more than adults Fearful thoughts and worries are what our minds naturally focus on; mindfulness finds ways to shine the spotlight on anything else in the present moment. Jiovann recommends two books: Planting Seeds by Thich Nhat Hanh and Sitting Still Like A Frog by Eline Snel. Jiovann explains the basics of his 6-week, on-demand, online course. See details below! What does joyful courage mean to Jiovann? “Mindfulness is one of the most courageous things to do. It’s intentionally moving toward the fears, and joy and happiness are natural by-products.” Connect with Jiovann:www.austinmindfulness.org (Find information on the course, Follow Your Breath, including meditation audio, downloadables, journals, practice logs, videos, and access to the Facebook group. The normal price is $299, but through the end of 2016, the course is available for 50% off. But wait, it gets better!FOLLOW YOUR BREATHE MINDFULNESS COURSE:For JCP listeners, take an additional 35% off, which brings the price UNDER $100!) --- CLICK HERE FOR THE DISCOUNT!Facebook l Twitter l Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A question from Maria…My 6yo loves his ipad and tv, like I'm sure they all do. I don't allow him to play non-stop and he's generally ok with boundaries. My issue is he's always asking. ALWAYS. I'm forever saying no, or later, or ok for half an hour, or after you do this or that. I'm the bad guy when he really wants to and I'd rather he do something more constructive. I'd like to put the power in his hands, instead of mine, but how. I thought about giving him a weekly limit and letting him go free, when his limit is met, no more screens. But how, he's 6 and doesn't really get time management. Plus, school days vs weekends (and now summer) are different. Right now he doesn't have homework, but when he does, screens should be very limited (I'd imagine) and I don't want to break a habit when that starts. On the weekends, in the morning, he gets to play/watch until dad and I get up and make breakfast. Than maybe more later, but it depends on what we're doing. Ugh this is only going to get worse when he gets older. I'd like to set some limits he can follow on his own, so I'm not the dictator. One that won't allow him to be on it for hours. His attitude is awful if he's been playing a long time, shoot that happens to me too!   I am not an expert on screen time – we are first generation of parents parenting kids with crazy access to screens, also we are the first parents to ALSO have this access. We are the models Time on the screens is time not connecting with other human beings in our life Root of the problem is disconnection No perfect answer No screens Vs No Limits Lots of room in the middle for skill development, self regulation practice, time management exploration Have a conversation about what you are noticing and invite him to speak into his experience Look at the week and the days – then decide what could work for you, what he would like, whiddle it down to a place where you are both satisfied Blog posts: Earning Privileges Earning Privileges, Revisited No magic number of miutes Comes down to provide an opportunity for your six year old to be a part of the problem solving process We must give them experience for practicing negotiating, offer/counter offer Notice rigidity Showing up with your plan in mind will not be helpful Go into the conversation to deeply listen and be open minded Use visuals so that he knows when screen time is Give opportunities to be autonomous Try the solution for a week and revisit – tweak if necessary Our children are full of creative ideas When we are a part of the problem solving, we are more likely to follow through with the solution Use daily special time to connect and continue to strengthen relationship When we strengthen relationship with our kids we are increasing our kids sense of belonging and significance When you notice things are challenging, turn your lens towards the relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Sarah Remmer, a registered dietitian and pediatric nutrition expert. She blogs at Stork to Fork, sharing ideas, advice, and easy recipes for real parents who want their kids to grow into healthy relationships with food. Let’s jump right into this topic with Sarah!What you’ll hear in this episode: Sarah is the mother of three young kids, so she knows the struggle! In her client work, Sarah noticed that the common denominator was the way they were raised in dysfunctional relationships with food. She rebranded and turned her specialty to helping parents raise kids with healthy habits and positive, functional relationships with food for life. Her practice has been thriving, as she is now recognized as a top pediatric nutritionist. Sarah discusses the biggest challenges in feeding kids; if you’re a parent, then you’ve experienced one or more of these! How a recent blog post by Sarah focuses on the “role reversal” that takes place between parents and kids at mealtimes Why kids should NOT stick exclusively with their favorite snacks, like yogurt or bananas Boundaries are important and help create structure. Sarah advises NO short order cooking, NO special meals, and NO snacking after meals. Desserts are tricky! Why you should NOT require “3 more bites of broccoli” before dessert! Why kids are naturally drawn to energy-rich foods like sweets and carbs Eating a wide variety of foods as a toddler will broaden your child’s palate! Ask your child, “How can I make this food yummier for you?” Bad habits CAN be changed! How to involve kids in meals and meal planning Sometimes, kids are truly NOT hungry! Sarah explains your “long-term feeding lens” vs. the short term. What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Having the courage to start fresh. Forgive yourself for unhealthy habits. Be kind and end mealtime power struggles. Connect with Sarah:www.sarahremmer.comFacebook Twitter Follow Sarah on the Yummy Mummy Club site! The Super Healthy Kids Blog Feeding Kids: How Parents and Kids Often Have Their Roles Mixed Up (and how to fix it)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Megan Barella loves to help parents unlock their parenting powerthrough her classes and coaching programs. As a Certified PositiveDiscipline Parent Educator, she brings a holistic approach to helppeople live and parent in connection with their highest selves."The Getting to Gold Project" is the program Megan is developingfor parents who are trauma survivors. Megan loves to cook, dance,do art projects, and spend time in the woods with her 7 year oldson in the Portland, OR area. Highlights from the conversation:-      The stress response systemtakes over-   Through awareness we can bring what ishappening internally into the open-      Parenting is incredible,courageous work-      Dan Siegel, Parenting From the Inside Out-      We want our kids tothrive!-      BeckyBailey of Conscious Discipline – “Awareness is the first agentof positive change”-      Be a gentle observer –awareness + self compassion ((you tubevideo))-      Hand over Heart-      Mistakes are opportunities tolearn-      Power of Repair-      Showing up the best we canwith the tools we have-      Our mistakes are notus!! Our patterns are what we have taken on to survive…-      Narrative therapy-      “I am not defined by mymistakes”-      Our body reads stress ASfear-      The power of our positiveintentJoin the Parenting for the Next Generation community at https://www.facebook.com/groups/ParentingfortheNextGeneration/ And follow Megan at:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ParentingForTheNextGenerationPinterest: https://uk.pinterest.com/MamaMegan1/Instagram: @mama_meganTwitter: @MamaMeganBlog Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices