Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...:::::Welcome to this week’s solo show! Sorry about the clogged nose! Totally dedicated to keeping up with the podcast and showing up to all of you – thank you for listening in!What you will hear this episode:The topic this week, as we have moved into the school year here in North America. Many of us are finding ourselves in the rub of having tough conversations with our children’s teacher. One of my listeners, who is both a parent and a teacher, reached out and requested that I touch on how parents can be approaching their children’s teachers when things are tough. Classroom management is slippery Teachers are doing the best they can with the tools they have Navigating student’s needs with the academic requirements passed on to teachers Pendulum swings from social/emo learning to academics Pressure to teach kids what they “need to know” Teachers ALWAYS name the social/emotional skills as their desire for students There is an assumption that children are learning life skills in the home Teachers fall back on behavior systems “Charting” children’s behavior Assumption that students have what they need to be cooperative, contributing members of the classroom Temperament matters So how do we talk to teachers about our children’s need? You, the teacher, counselor, after school people, you are all the child’s support team When communication fails amongst adults, child suffers Coming from fear, we show up offensive, invites defense from others Teachers have a tricky job Connect before correct is a powerful tool to take advantage of in all the relationships of our life – teachers/school staff included Use curiosity How can you educate the teacher about your child in a way that enlightens them about your child and all children It is useful when a parent comes to the teacher and says “I see you and the tough job you have, and I want to educate you about my child” Pay attention to your physical response/mama bear mode, and PAUSE before emailing/calling the teacher Get in touch with your child’s teacher BEFORE there is an issue – build relationship Make amends when you need to – repair matters AND you are modeling really important behavior for others The person that benefits the most is your child! :::::Mother’s Journey to Joyful CouragePNW FALL TOUR!!Registration remains open for my Portland and Boise events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney:::::Coaching with CaseyAre you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call. Click here and we will schedule our call!:::::Be a SubscriberMake sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...:::::Maren and Angela are college friends, turned public school teachers, turned homeschooling mamas, turned podcast hosts. They are on today talking about how to follow our children’s lead when it comes to learning and growing. Their show, Homeschool Unrefined, is a place where they keep homeschool simple, real and fun.What you will hear in during the show: College friends turned podcast co-hosts Public school teachers that became homeschooling mamas Sensed the need for encouragement and empowerment amongst homeschool parents SM gives a false impression for what homeschool looks like Inspired to show the “real” homeschool experience Deciding to homeschool, desire for more connection and less schedule Freedom to travel Maren and Angela want parents to feel good about what they are already doing Easy to look at what others are doing then seeing deficit in what you are doing Your kids need you as a parent, and all of your particular skills Vastness of homeschooling Biggest challenges in the community: parents lacking confidence, letting go of perfectionism Being conscious about what your main goal is Letting your children take the lead – focus on connection, follow their interest Paradigm shift - kids are going to learn when they are ready Early entry into extra-curricular activities Simplicity Parenting John Paine Supporting kids through their changes of heart It is a skill to know when to walk away – Angela’s roller blading story The process of navigating waning interest is rich Casey and Rowan’s guitar lesson story, letting go of the dream Stay connected, no matter your schooling decisions – make it authentically yours What does Joyful Courage mean to you?From Angela - “Having the courage to trust yourself and yoru child. You know your child and they are going to learn the most e when they feel connected to you. It takes a cot of courage to let go of all the noise around you and be able to trust you.”From Maren - “Being confident in who you are – that takes work, takes work to understand and realize who I am is good. That’s the courageous parent – the joyful part is finding joy in the processes of everything. This is a process, it isn’t perfect – if you can find joy in that you will find joy in so many things.”***Where to find Angela and Maren:Website l Facebook l Instagram:::::Mother’s Journey to Joyful CouragePNW FALL TOUR!!Registration remains open for my Seattle, Portland AND BOISE events and SPACE IS LIMITED so you are going to want to sign up NOW and reserve your spot.www.joyfulcourage.com/mothersjourney:::::Coaching with CaseyAre you playing with the idea of one on one coaching? I currently have a few spots available in my schedule and would LOVE to work with you.Coaching with Casey is a three month commitment. We will explore your vision for parenting and even bigger, how you want to show up for your life. We explore mindset, and how shifts in mindset create big shifts in relationship. And finally, we deep dive into the tools and strategies of Positive Discipline for teaching, modeling and practicing life skills.Coaching is an investment. If you would like to find out more, and explore the possibility that coaching is a good fit for you, schedule a 20 minute explore call. Click here and we will schedule our call!:::::Be a SubscriberMake sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast on iTunes to help me spread the show to an ever larger audience!!CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show – thank you for tuning in this week! Sit back and take in the thoughts and ideas that are currently showing up for me and in our community. A Free Spirit Life A new show hosted by Shannon Kinney-Duh.  Find out more at http://www.afreespiritlife.com/or search for A Free Spirit Life on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast.Todays Content Together Live event with Glennon Doyle and friends Belonging and significance as an underlying principle of PD Humans are great perceivers, not great interpreters Growing relationship while guiding them to learn from mistakes is what Positive Parenting is all about Shopping cart analogy My child is going to learn what they need through mistakes and experiences Our conditioning gets in our way when we choose to parent this way Fear shows up – controlling and rigid, what is the right thing to do? The space between authoritarian and permissive styles Brene Brown – check her out Braving the Wilderness True belonging is something inside of us, requires trust Conscious parenting requires us to trust our children, their foundation and relationship Our declaration of using PD can make others uncomfortable My vision is to have confident, capable kids who can navigate the world with kindness and assertive – interruptions to the ugly in the world You have to be who you are So easy as the parent to get up in their (our children’s) grill Children get to DESIGN themselves Taking a look at our own modeling, self acceptance, recognizing fear My children can only hear their soul’s voice is to release my fear and trust What are your thoughts?? Share in the Live and Love with Joyful Courage FB Group GIVEAWAY!! Win a copy of Love Warrior by writing a review of the Joyful Courage Podcast on iTunes  Thank You! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Alison Smith, mother to two adorable kids, proud wife, former elementary school teacher and now teacher coach, advocate and revolutionary in win/win parenting. Like many of us Alison had visions of being the best, doing the best and really being that one adult that impacted her students lives powerfully. As a self identified recovering perfectionist, Alison entered the teaching world and become a mother. It did not take long to identify that something in the work with children had to change. Fueled by her passion and her journey, Aliso identified a need for teachers to feel supported in their work. In her coaching, teachers are inspired and supported to be the most authentic, joyful and wholehearted teacher they can be. IN THIS EPISODE: Alison shares Bonnie Harris’ iceberg analogy and how it guides parents to identify the underlying root of a child’s behavior. Like a medical issue, we often treat the symptom until the symptoms persist then we are forced to find the root cause. Realizing that the child’s behavior that triggers us is the root cause of our reaction and inability to connect and show up best for the child. Only when we dig into our roots and what is underneath our icebergs can we better guide our children through their own experiences. Triggers can cause us to panic and ‘future trip’ into fear about our child’s behavior, enabling us into unhelpful methods. Using our curiosity to dig to the root - is my child hungry, tired, overstimulated, cold, hot, uncomfortable, lonely?. Once we identify our triggers we can move into the practice of showing up the way our kids need us to. We chose connection and enforcement that they matter. Often we misjudge our kids motivation and intention leading to disconnection and an increase in the child’s mischief. Once a parent gets it and truly understands the process begins within the parent first then the practice strengthens and the child, family and parent begin to thrive. There is no one perfect general response to situations with your child.  Practicing prevention, in-the-moment and then repair strategies alleviate and get to the root of the issue. An open conversation on how parenting is shifting from authoritarian to permissive. Why parents today need something to change and are willing to find the courage to revolutionize how the adult/child relationship evolves.  Where to find Alison:Website l Facebook l Instagram l You Tube Change the World in A Generation (video)*** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parenting from within takes practice practice practice. What are the significant tools we need to really delve within? Inside of us exists what we need to connect to the way we want to parent. Using these tools at our disposal will allow us to open up, connect, reset and navigate the challenges that come with development. Just like we are in constant practice it’s key to continue the conversation! Our children are not the only humans in development. What you will hear The emotional journey of choosing Positive Parenting Is your inner voice helping or hindering your practice Our old stories can create blocks when we practice PD What shows up when our children touch on those old stories (triggers) How we talk to ourselves when it seems everyone around us has it together Where do we chose to sit when we are in anger, resentment and “stuckness” Why are you choosing PD and/or Conscious Parenting? What are the themes that drive us to want to parent this way? What themes to we use to keep us on a pendulum Once we choose into the practice we can create habits that navigate through these themes and stories Awareness is the first step to helping us acknowledge the triggers so we can create a connection into this parenting journey This is a collective journey Mindfulness with ground us into the practice and what we need Using mindfulness will bring you into your biggest tool- your body, senses, feelings and emotions Listening to your body is accepting the messages and signals you are sending to your conscious What do you notice in challenging situations? Where do your signals sit? Belly? Shoulders? Chest? Follow the wisdom your body is sending. Fears cloud our vision and takes us into the “what ifs” Getting curious allows us to approach our children without getting stuck in the fog How to use the neutrality of your body to shift into a better experience Shifting can open us up the possibility that we are the best parent for our kids and we can make repairs :::::Podcast Highlight:In Her Voice, By Kelly Coverswebsite l itunes l FB l IG::::: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meredith Masony is on the podcast today!! She blogs at That’s Inappropriate and loves to share her stories about, life, marriage, motherhood, and her quest to be the best person she can be. Meredith has three kids ages 10, 7, 5. Her motto is “I’ll say it, so you don’t have to.” Life is messy, and it’s OK to talk about it. She invites all parents to join her on her search for sanity and hopefully you can have a few laughs along the way.What you’ll hear in this episode: The parenting struggle is real Meredith opens up about the first few years with little ones Feeling stuck, alone and eventually facing a difficult life event moved her to speak out We are not alone, we all feel lost at some point Sharing the hard parts of the journey is the first step in thriving though it You deserve more than to survive Parents deserve to thrive Creating a like-experiencing community can support us through even the most mundane events, potty training anyone? Humor is key! Sometimes the truth and humor are all you need to feel connected How to handle overnight success and sticking with your purpose The importance of modeling purpose Why having our own goals outside of our kids is important Balance is tough Letting go of ‘mom-guilt’  Where to find Meredith: Website l Facebook I Instagram l Twitter l You Tube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Skills, skills skills! Mama Tanya shares with our community an incredible example of how meeting your child where they are at can shift the outcome of your experience. It is easy for us as parents to become presumptive aboutmisguided behavior Remember how curiosity is key? By becoming curious with our kids, we are able to recognize the skills they still need to develop, as well as see the reasons for certain choices,which are not always what they seem.Mama Tanya shares:“Sorry for the long post but I need some advice. “ school, and they gave him homework to do over the weekend. He said he didn't think it was fair to have homework on the weekends (which I agree), but on Saturday he set his homework on fire! Took the lighter when no one was watching, went outside like he was going to go play, and set it on fire burning half the page and dunking it in the pool.When I found the half burned sheet of paper in the pool, I kept my cool but was obviously shocked that he would react that way to homework. I let him know that I thought it was a poor decision to 1. light something on fire (safety!) and 2. refuse to do his homework in such a permanent way. Internally I felt helpless and frantic to solve the problem, externally I let him know that I get it, homework sucks, and I reminded him that he could ask for help.I asked him what made him set it on fire, was he feeling overwhelmed? Or angry? Or both? He was visibly upset both about being caught and about homework so I didn't preach or press the issue until later that day. When he was calm I talked to him about how sometimes we have to do things we don't like (like washing dishes) but we can learn to do it anyway, it doesn't have to be perfect, and we can ask for help.I also explained that between two extremes (setting homework on fire and staying up till midnight doing homework- neither which are healthy) he could find a happy medium. He said he had not done his best and that he would try to do his best this week. - I felt like it was handled positively all in all.But, when he told his father and co-parent (who lives elsewhere) over the phone, his dad immediately started saying that he wasn't going to send him something previously promised, that he would take his computer and phone away if he ever did it again, and went into punishment mode.So, what would you do? I thought about saying he couldn't do his electronic time until he completed his homework. Or I would give him extra electronic time every time he completed his homework. But I am super conflicted. I feel like homework issues should be dealt with by the teacher. Natural consequences. Of course I want to help the teacher, but not sure how...”Bullet Point: How to approach the reasoning behind the behavior Kids do more in response with how they feel Getting off the emotional freight train Getting curious so we can be solution minded, see where child has influence Parents assume children make choices rationally, when in fact they have limited skills Revisiting Dr. Siegel’s “Palm of the Hand” example Assessing what else can be going on inside their body How to identify lacking skills and helping kids deal with the discomfort Letting go of our perspective as the only perspective Letting go of “should” (ex. They should know better) Quotes:14:52 “Curiosity really allows us to move past assumptions and get into our child’s world”.15:07 “Curiosity requires us to let go of the idea that we know all the answers and what it is that our kids need”.Links mentioned in the show: Podcast Episode 75 – Marcilie BoylePodcast Episode 100 – Dr. Tina Payne BrysonDan Siegel's Brain VideoCasey's Teaches Kids about the Brain Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

World traveler, calm seeker, mom coach, multi-lingual speaker, Alexander Hughes, brings us her methods for supporting mamas in the chaos that is parenthood. The trials and tribulations of her own experience in motherhood would eventually fuel the passion of support she gives to other moms navigating the same road. Alex has created a soft space for mamas feeling out of control to find their rhythm and calm. At her website inneressencecoaching.com one has access to her workshops, authentic words of wisdom and that much needed place to connect with someone who gets it. With three kids and a handful of international moves Alex knows what it means to feel out of control in the mama chaos – which is why she has turned over every rock to find that much needed calm. We really should just make her wear a cape.What you will hear in this episode: Alex’s journey into and out of chaos An experience of transitions from a working professional to working mom to stay at home mom and back to working mom Our vision vs. our reality Why finding calm is so important as a mother The importance of mother’s nurturing a relationship with self Identifying patterns and models in current parenting Understanding where patterns and models come from Understanding the internal work necessary to tackle patterns & models How we set ourselves up and why this can ultimately lead to chaos Changing how we see the road – going from linear to cyclical Understanding the cycles through life Awareness of what we model for our kids Access to tools 1) manage stress 2) manage anger 3) creating a life for yourself that are aligned with values and self loving How our words create expectations for the inner child Where courage lies Summary of how Alex helps mamas on the road to calm - #1 Internal Work #2 External Work Self Care – is about “doing stuff that lights you up” Calm responding wisdom & tools Quotes:“When you have kids and you're a stay-at-home mom and you have stay-at-home parents, checking those boxes and feeling that sense of achievement doesn’t always happen”. 6:34“Models and patterns live deep inside of me based on my own childhood and my own experiences”. 11:16“Create a new best friend voice that is going to support us in the choices we are going to make”. 12:06“If we can switch from that and seeing these mistakes, those blowups as opportunities to reconnect with your kid, teach your kid, learn yourself”. 20:28“It’s your job to love yourself and to practice self care and self love because your children are watching you. AND you are a better everything when you do”. 43:04What does Joyful Courage mean to you:“I think that you need to be courageous to be a conscious mom, to practice positive parenting, or to take that journey toward calm responding. It’s about opening yourself up to feelings. It’s about treating those moments as learning opportunities when you do ‘make those mistakes’. When you open yourself up, you need to be courageous to be vulnerable. Once you do that it opens up this space for connection, which without there would be no joy”.Where to find Alex:WebsiteFacebookLinkedin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...:::::Practice, practice, practice. There is no other way to really move into how we want to BE. Practice is the key. The beauty of choosing and moving through practice is we discover new ideas, concepts and understandings that make our practice more enjoyable AND dare I say magical. In this episode we dig a little deeper into the idea of using our lens to take us to where we want to go. When toddling through different lenses we can shift this practice even deeper. We are joined by Ian O’Roarty, tween extraordinaire, into the lens of his practice through making amends. Listen and see how many fruitful lenses you discover.What you will hear: iTunes reviews – yay!! Thank you!! Ian is my guest to talk about what making amends looks and feels like from an 11 year old perspective Power of perception Moving into the perception of being a new sibling What might that look like to a toddler? How we collect evidence to support our perception What will we choose in the practice of collecting evidence? Is our evidence creating our fears? OR is our evidence helping us move through how we want to be?    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kristin Hovious is a committed teacher with over a decade of experience in vocational, adult education, serving Chicago’s Cortiva Institute as both Education Director (2007-2008) and Adjunct Faculty Member (2006-2017.) Her training as a massage therapist and yoga teacher provides a foundation and love for anatomy and science of human development.As a Positive Discipline Certified Trainer, Kristin, combines a career of teaching and serving with her passion for creating mutually respectful environments for families, children, classrooms and schools. In her collaboration with teachers, administrations and families, Kristin’s goal is to help facilitate opportunities for adults and students to become compassionate leaders, with the hope that doing so will help build more peaceful communities. Kristin has served on the Positive Discipline Association Board of Directors as a Consultant since 2016.What you will hear in this episode: Kristin’s journey into Positive Discipline (PD) How PD grew in the Hovious’ Home and the challenges that came with learning a new way How teaching anatomy in her career paved the way for curiosity in neuroscience Understanding how emotions and behaviors influence connection Discussion on ‘kind and firm’ rephrasing as ‘connection and accountability’ and why Why shifting society’s idea of mistakes and punishments lacks ability to repair Understanding mistakes as opportunities to learn How repairing is a practice and it has the power to transform our relationships Mistakes lead to repairing opportunities Kristin walks us through four steps in healthy repair Relatable examples from Kristin’s own life help us empathize and feel supported in our own challenges Modeling is key Sticking to our agendas is a way we move away from connection When we repair relationships we have the power to heal connections Diving into our parenting pain so we can make amends Discomfort is a place to get curious, not a place to get stuck  “I don’t think repairing relationships comes naturally or easy to us. It is practice”.What does Joyful Courage mean to you?“What Joyful courage means to me is that there is a consistent opportunity to practice repair. That is always worth it - it’s so important in the whole trajectory in our lives together as human beings. If we can be joyful in repair then maybe we can also turn the corner and be joyful about mistakes”.Where to find Kristin:Selchicago.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices