Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Today is a solo show all about being the calm inside the storm. That is the dream, isn’t it?? Listen in as I tease apart what this means and offer ideas and strategies around hwo to get there more often. ·     Parenting class·     Summit·     Podcast conversations·     E+R=O·     Events and experiences…. 3 Bs·     What if nothing changes?·     What if all we have is how we feel inside of the experience?·     What do we want to BE/FEEL/CREATE??·     Feedback matters – internal vs external validation·     Parenting is a PART of our life that can feel like our WHOLE life·     Energy of emotion·     Personal work, small steps with Sid, ACES with Sarah – unlearning supermom·     Stuck in what it should look like·     What about acceptance of what is? What about surrender to not knowing the outcome?·     Influence yes. Hard work and practice, yes.·     AND you decide how to respond from life --- worry fear, that is the present moment experience you create. Openness, love, that is the present moment experience you create.·     Think about, bring about – energetically we are always influencing our life, our experience Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves...:::Join PatreonSign up to be a part of the Patreon community today!! You will enjoy monthly webinars, online coaching and support from a caring community of like minded parents.Click here for more information.:::Today’s guest is Sara Harvey Yao. Sara is a leadership consultant who has developed more than 4,000 leaders across the globe. She specializes in helping leaders navigate pressure and stress by staying present in the moment. Sara is the author of two books, Get Present and Drop In. She’s the mother of two teen boys and can speak firsthand to how the power of presence can transform the parenting experience. We will be discussing. Join us! "Naming feelings opens the doorways for the energy of emotion to metabolize.”“When we’re in emotion, we’re in a different part of our brain than the language center so it’s often hard to articulate what we’re feeling.”“Anger...is a signal fire. Something is going on here. It’s a sign your boundaries have been crossed.” What you’ll hear in this episode:-How naming emotions helps us process them-Facilitating our movement through emotions in the parenting journey-The power of acknowledging, even to ourselves, when we are struggling-Feeling vs thinking-Attitudes and beliefs about feelings that contribute to feeling “stuck”-Helping our kids name and process feelings and the role of modeling-Normalizing emotions for our kids-Anger as a secondary emotion-What’s really under anger-Exploring our triggers and where our feelings are coming from-Establishing a common language with your kids to discuss feelings-How to support ourselves and our kids to regulate emotionsWhat does Joyful Courage mean to you?The courage to try something new and if that’s new to, I’m going to try a new parenting technique, if that means I’m going to sit with a feeling instead of stuffing it, I’m actually going to say something instead of not saying something, any new behavior to me takes deep, deep, deep courage and when we take those leaps into courage, for me it always ends up being really joyful. There’s such an empowered, a sense of empowerment and it leads to new opportunities or new directions that I might not have known about if I hadn’t been courageous. So those two words fit so beautifully together, it’s just joyful courageousness when we try something new.Resources:Get PresentDrop In Dan Siegel, Flipping Your LidListen to past show with Sara: Episode 68Listen to Mindfulness Min Summit Where to find Sara:Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn :::Audio Summit for Parents of Teens One week of real conversations PD trainers who have already been through it The launch starts January 1st Summit will run January 28th – February 1st REGISTER NOW – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit:::::Be a SubscriberMake sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy New Year!!Hope everyone had an easy breezy holiday. Grateful to friends and family and all the ways we were supported to enjoy the season. So much to be excited about.Compassion and integrity.Today, I am going to share a bit about a book I am reading that is really blowing my mind, it is called The Path is Everywhere; uncovering the jewels hidden within you, by Matt Lacata. If you’ve listened to the show for very long, you know that I love my energy worker/reiki master friend (shout out to Jessica) and she has turned me on to the work of Matt. I am using this book as part of my soul care time, reading a few pages in the morning to gather inspiration.I am not very far into the book, and what I read this morning gave me pause and I decided that now would be the perfect time to bring it here to discuss with all of you.The first part of the book is about what the author calls our “shadow” – this is the part of ourselves that lays dormant until it is jostled into wakefulness. Another way to make sense of it is the way that we feel when we are triggered. Our shadow is who takes over when we are riding the emotional freight train. The parts of ourselves that we may cloak in shame or guilt – the parts that we keep hidden.Most of us have a tendency to want to hide our shadow, keep it deep inside of ourselves, not let it see the light of day. Many of us may think we are pretty successful with this – until we aren’t. A lot of the clients I see come to me because their shadow is making appearances in the parenting journey and they want to fix it, they want to make it go away.I have a shadow as well – she wants control and order, she wants to know the outcome, and she wants everyone to be on her agenda. My shadow takes the behavior of others deeply personally, quickly manifesting fear, rejection and disrespect whenever I experience criticism and ridicule.My shadow, your shadow – our shadows are a part of who we are. And if, like me, you subscribe to life being purposeful, then perhaps our shadow isn’t something that we should turn away from, or get rid of. Perhaps our shadow is something we can turn towards and get curious about.You all know that I love the personal growth and development conversation. You know that I see parenting as one long personal growth and development workshop. And if you have been listening for any length of time, you know that I am deeply invested in supporting others in doing this work along with me.This is why I am talking about shadow work today.On a personal note – I want to share solidarity to all of you that deal with partners overseas and single parents. Ben has left us to do some big work in California on the electrical grid. We don’t know how long the work down there will take – could be months. I know it isn’t the SAME as being a single parent, I know that I have the luxury of knowing my partner will be coming home eventually, but I am looking at an extended period of time holding space for the kids without their dad here….  Clearly I will have ample opportunity to lean into the TRUTH of my experiences vs finding short term relief from what triggers me…Self care will be crucial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s content:Parenting through the self doubt and worryParenting teens – why have a separate group?What is missing from the resources?The continuum of behaviorAttachment and getting a lifeIntuition and trusting your gutIt gets uglyFeeling isolated/shame/ Lisa Fuller episode 87Why meditation/yoga/journaling mattersWhat it really means to be awareThe tight rope Kimberly Muench eps 158Pendulum swingTrust and surrender over and over againIt’s a crap shoot – the myth of “good parenting”It’s their journey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Stacy Davison. Stacy is an instructional coach, entrepreneur, new mom to a rainbow baby boy. Last year Stacy and her husband started the company Personal Peptalk, a line of motivational and uplifting products which they design, illustrate, and self-publish. In her weekly motivational email on her podcast Stacy candidly shares how she dominates life challenges more mindfully. We will be discussing positivity in parenting and life. Join us!"It’s easy to meditate up on the mountain top but eventually you have to come down and buy groceries.” What you’ll hear in this episode: Finding zen where we are - preparing for the Super Bowl moments The challenges of motherhood and the importance of being real about that Shifting perspective on suffering Choosing love, joy and compassion in moments of difficulty How hanging onto suffering hurts us Letting go of people pleasing to ask for what you need Positivity in times of sorrow Supporting friends in times of loss Love bombs - what they are, how they help Shifting to empowerment and choosing what you want to cultivate Being a joy detective Choosing not to be defined by the things that have happened Resources:Pep Talk Decks Where to find:Personal Pep Talk website - sign up for her Monday Morning Motivation Personal Pep Talk podcast | Personal Pep Talk Instagram | Personal Pep Talk Tattoos | Personal Pep Talk Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Solo show!News: No shows in December, Happy Holidays! January Parenting Teens Audio Summit, YAY!! Launching the first of January – stay tuned to register Summit is live January 21st – 25th Validation, inspiration, nuggets to PRACTICE Patreon Woop woop Alternative to membership program Opportunity to be in exchange of energy patreon.com/joyfulcourage $1, $5, $10/month options $10 private FB group, Chaos to Calm Ecourse, monthly Webinar based on the questions that are coming up in the group  This week’s content: Positive parenting is easy when there isn’t a lot of challenge – more challenging when our kids are rubbing up against our triggers Toolbox metaphor Higher our emotion, more likely we use desperate tools (rewards and punishment) The more tools we put in to toolbox, the more likely it is that the ineffective tools of rewards and punishment slide to the bottom We can always do better Relationship matters!!!!!! When our relationships are disconnected, navigating behavior in a harsh way isn’t useful for anyone Fear takes us towards harsh punishment Mistakes are opportunities to learn There are always consequences Inviting out kids into relationship Can feel uncomfortable Taking accountability for how the relationship currently is and get vulnerable Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean we stop being curious with our kids Start paying attention to the body Support ourselves by noticing what is happening inside We get more access to our toolbox when we are grounded and neutral At the end of the day what is most useful is your relationship NOT permission for being a permissive parent – still hold boundaries Stronger relationship the more likely your child will open up and talk to you Creating an environment where our kids can thrive and be a soft landing when they get it wrong Shame/blame does not promote accountability and personal responsibility Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Tammy Keeces, Head of School at Irvine Hebrew Day School, a former teacher, a positive discipline trainer and mama to three teenagers. She has a Bachelor of Psychology from UCLA, a Masters from Columbia University’s Teacher College in Curriculum and Instruction. She’s currently working on her doctorate. We will be discussing responding to tragic events like the Tree of Life Synagogue tragedy, as well as Judaism, positive discipline and how we can all support each other better. Join us!"None of us should feel alone.”“People are children and they just want to belong.”“God gives us many opportunities for goodness and kindness and this is another way for us to remind ourselves that we need to have hope and we need to have love.”“We have to come together now, more than ever.”What you’ll hear in this episode: How Irvine Hebrew Day School handled the tragedy in Pittsburgh Developmental appropriate levels of information about tragic events Balancing the feelings of parents and children in the wake of tragedy Meeting hate with love - finding inner resources in the face of fear Ways to encourage our kids to accept others The freeing power of compassion Parallels between the Torah and positive discipline How non-Jewish people can support the Jewish community Teaching our kids about leadership and civic responsibility What does Joyful Courage mean to you?It’s being brave every day, to make the right decisions for ourselves and those that love us and inviting joy despite the challenges, despite the heartache, we have to choose joy and that’s what you’re doing every day with joyful courage and I think that there’s no other way to live our lives at this point.Resources: We’re All Wonders bookWhere to find Irvine Hebrew Day School:FacebookWebsite Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Jeremy Schneider. Jeremy is a Marriage and Family Therapist whose career spans more than 15 years of working with individuals and families focussing on parenting, relationships and mental health. He is the author of Fatherhood in 40 Minute Snapshots and has been featured on the New York Times, The Today Show and CNN. We will be discussing co-parenting and alignment with our partners. Join us!"Every step that I take in my personal growth is one less step that they have to take.”“A lot of parenting is about experimentation.”“You just get better the more you do it. Just keep trying.”“We don’t want to be the same parent. We just want to be parenting in the same direction.”What you’ll hear in this episode:-Journaling as a way to maintain perspective-Examining our principles of parenting-Deciding what kind of people we want to raise-Personal growth and parenting - how they relate-Co-parenting and being in alignment with our parents-Fatherhood and parental involvement of dads-Finding balance as co-parents in agreeing on a parenting approach-The importance of parenting education-Navigating parenting as a dad when you feel uncertain-How Dads can model emotional expression for their kids-Approaching our partners with curiosity about their parenting approach-Parenting as a practice-Finding harmony in parenting stylesWhat does Joyful Courage mean to you? Having survived a fairly traumatic childhood, I think about courage a lot. I don’t normally think about it in terms of myself and that’s something that I’ve been working on to give myself credit for how far I’ve come and what I’ve been able to do and the kind of relationships I’ve been able to build within my family.I think Joyful courage is being able to enjoy, not the success, I’m trying to think of the word, being able to bask in this life I’ve built. It took a lot of work to get where I am and my wife and I have worked very hard to get where we are together. And we’ve worked very hard to survive as long as we have with our kids and get this far and I think, to me, one of the phrases that I play a lot in my head is happy chaos. I think of our life as happy chaos.Chaos doesn’t have to be bad and that’s kind of the way we think about it. My life is chaos, it’s just straight chaotic, because having teenagers and wanting to be there for them and wanting to be there for my wife and build this business and so and so forth; it’s chaos. But it’s a happy chaos because it all involves things that I love.And to me Joyful Courage has that same kind of feel, right? It’s the freedom, the sort of joyfulness of doing something that takes an enormous effort and overcoming anxiety and fear to be able to do it but that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It can still be joyful in that experience of it.Resources: Fatherhood in 40 Minute SnapshotsWhere to find:Website | Facebook | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Solo Show this week!First – continues thanks for all of the feedback around the last solo show, where I shared about navigating my daughters mental health issues. It means the world to me to know that the content of the show is landing for you, and making a difference in your life. This week I am talking about our boys. Toxic Masculinity We have to do better for our boys Partners – emotional intelligence is for everyone Posturing Fragile Egos Curiosity Routine of talking about how we feel It’s not coddling – if we keep toughening them up and having them suppress how they feel we will continue to see cultures where war and violence exist Not blaming Not from a place of fear We all get to be full humans Boys and their fear of labels Build Skills More than just “walk away” Saving face w/o being a dick Being a champion People like him. He can take criticism, doesn’t make people choose friends, and doesn’t blow off someone for a better offer. When people are harassed or demeaned, he intervenes. He’s comfortable hanging out with guys who are both inside and outside the box. He holds his own opinion, but still listens to others. TALK ABOUT IT BEING HARD VALIDATE THEIR EXPEREINCE SUPPORT THEM IN RESPONSES TO LIFE This isn’t helicoptering Belonging significance influence Aren’t feeling it, they will take it where they can Posturing Insecure OR entitled All boys fall into a role where they feel safe Talk to your boys Keep talking Talk about emotions Check your “should/shouldn’t’ at the door Be open, own your mistakes, encourage them when you see life skills on display Love them up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Jennifer Griffin. Jennifer is the mother of four, has her masters in counseling psychology with 30 years of experience guiding children and adults on their relationship journeys. Jennifer is a DIY maven, specializing in leading individuals to uncover the messages in their chronic health conditions and their children’s challenging behaviors. Join us! What you’ll hear in this episode:-Simple, yet powerful techniques to heal at home-Taking back your power after trauma-What is EMDR and how can it help you heal?- How our kids behaviors can mirror our own unexpressed feelings and frustrations-How acting out can relate to our own inner struggles- The iceberg of behavior and how that relates to our children’s behavior and the way they channel their parents frustrations- Resisting the urge to “fix”- Understanding generational patterns- The role of balancing chakras in your child’s behavior-How claiming our authenticity and expressing our emotions can change how our kids express themselves through their behavior Resources:Channeling QuestionnaireEmbracing your child’s tantrums as a gift - Elephant Journal article Where to find: Understanding Morning Sickness as a Gift Understanding Your Child as a Spiritual GiftFacebook | Twitter  | Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices