Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Whether it's developmentally normal for kids to start asking about death—even when there hasn't been a recent loss. How much our own histories with grief, trauma, and cultural beliefs shape the way we respond when those questions come up. Why using euphemisms like "went to sleep forever" or unclear statements like "passed away" may actually create more anxiety for children instead of comfort. How to find the balance between honesty and reassurance when the questions feel bigger than the answers. Why kids sometimes ask the same hard questions over and over—and what they might really be seeking. What to make of it when a child doesn't seem to feel the weight and seriousness of death. If your child has ever asked "Are you going to die?" and left you speechless, this episode offers perspective, validation, and concrete tools to help you navigate these profound conversations with calm and compassion. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Are you coping with grief and loss, or looking for parenting support to help you navigate tough conversations like the ones we discussed in this episode? Visit upshurbren.com to learn about the therapy and coaching services at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or CLICK HERE to schedule a free call to connect with a member of our care team about your family's unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to Part 1 and Part 2 of my podcast episodes about navigating conversations about death with Rabbi Steve Leder 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing death with death doula Heather Hogan 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a grieving child with Dr. Dan Wolfson Y WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Claire Lerner joins me to talk about how we can best support "big reactors" — highly sensitive children who experience the world with heightened intensity, passion, and emotion. Together we explore: Why trying to "change" a child often backfires — and why shifting our own approach can spark real change. How to recognize when your child's explosive behavior is driven by overwhelm, rigidity, or a need for control. The difference between masking and thriving, and why kids may act very differently at home than at school. What it means to be your child's "rock" during meltdowns and how to hold limits without fueling the fire, How to create structure and predictability that helps sensitive kids feel safe and more flexible. Why consistency matters more than quick results — and what to expect before things get better. Practical, real-life strategies for navigating transitions, setting boundaries, and reducing daily battles. Whether you're parenting a highly sensitive child or you just want to strengthen your connection and reduce the chaos at home, this conversation will give you validation, hope, and tangible tools to help your child — and your whole family — thrive. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/ 📚 Big Reactors: Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱 @lernerchilddevelopment 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment. 👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child? 🎧 135. Q&A: What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid? 🎧 173. Q&A: Preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... Why sleep challenges often emerge around age 3 (Hint: developmental leaps, dropped naps, and growing imaginations all play a role). How to differentiate between bedtime battles, middle-of-the-night wake-ups, and nightmares—and why the strategies might look different for each. Practical ways to set limits and routines with confidence so kids feel safe and contained, rather than running the show. Special considerations for twins, including when it might make sense to separate them temporarily at night. How to care for yourself as a parent during exhausting phases, so you can show up with more calm and confidence. If bedtime has turned into a nightly struggle in your home, this episode offers validation, perspective, and concrete tools to help everyone get a little more rest. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using your attachment relationship to help your toddler fall asleep with Eileen Henry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting multiples with Kristin Revere WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Family law attorney and certified divorce financial analyst Lisa Zeiderman joins me to talk about how parents can navigate separation, divorce, and custody decisions with clarity, confidence, and a focus on their child's well-being. Together we explore: The different legal pathways for separation and divorce (including mediation, collaborative law, and litigation) and how to determine which may be right for your family. Common dynamics that can make self-advocacy harder, such as power imbalances, high-conflict relationships, or emotional manipulation. What it means to "foster" a relationship between your child and their other parent—and why courts prioritize this. How to set your child up for emotional success, even when the co-parenting relationship is strained. Tangible behaviors that courts (and kids!) recognize as supporting healthy co-parenting. Ways to support your child's sense of voice and agency throughout the process—whether that's through therapy, routines, or even court-appointed advocates. Resources and recommendation of support systems and products that can help parents co-parent more effectively. Whether you're already in the thick of it or just starting to consider what the future may hold, this conversation offers guidance and grounding for navigating family transitions with thoughtfulness and care. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://lisazeiderman.com/ 📚 https://lisazeiderman.com/blog/ ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. 🔗 Our Family Wizard - The leading app for more peaceful co‑parenting CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack 🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer 🎧 277. Q&A: Is "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... Whether or not to address a racial slur your child heard in a song when you're not sure whether or not they picked up on it, and fear you may call attention to it unnecessarily. How to explain the difference between swearing and slurs, and the importance of giving kids context and language around both. Dr. Rebecca shares stories of how similar topics have come up in her own family and how she handled them with her kids. Why just saying "don't say it" can miss the mark for kids. The role of tone, timing, and developmental stage when introducing complex and sensitive topics. How to make it feel safe to make mistakes and learn from them ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child is swearing 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting styles across cultures with Dr. Miguelina German WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Becoming a grandparent is a major shift and yet, it's rarely talked about in a way that honors the complexity of this role. In this episode, I'm joined by Carol Merle-Fishman to explore the emotional, psychological, and relational shifts that occur when someone becomes a grandparent and how this transition can impact the entire family system. Together we unpack: Why grandparenthood is actually a developmental stage of its own. How expectations, unspoken grief, and shifting identities can create tension or disconnection in relationships. Ways adult children can support their parents and in-laws through the grandparenting transition and how grandparents can honor and respect their children's wishes. How to set boundaries with empathy and clarity while nurturing strong multigenerational bonds. The importance of emotional reflection for grandparents navigating this new chapter of life. Whether you're preparing to become a grandparent, are already in this role, or are a parent looking to better understand and support the grandparents in your life, this episode will offer a compassionate and practical lens for navigating this powerful and often overlooked transition. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://carolmerlefishman.com/ 🎧 104. Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle Fishman ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Becoming a grandparent can bring up big emotions and big questions. Go to upshurbren.com/becomingagrandparent to download my free interactive workbook, Reflecting on Grandparenthood, to help you process the identity shifts, set healthy boundaries, and navigate this transition with clarity, compassion, and confidence. Or forward this episode along to the grandparents in your life. 🔗 https://www.morethangrand.com/ CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 89. Fostering deep and meaningful relationships: How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson 🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 52. Setting boundaries with your parents and in-laws: Navigating family dynamics with Dr. Emily Upshur 🎧 279. Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... What to do if your child is assigned a teacher whose style may not seem like the best match. How to advocate for your child in a way that supports collaboration and avoids conflict. Why starting the school year with a proactive email to the teacher can set the tone for a strong partnership. The surprising benefits a strict or "old school" teacher might actually offer sensitive kids. How to prepare your child to advocate for themselves, build resilience, and navigate new classroom dynamics. What to do if things don't go as hoped—and how to intervene effectively if your child truly isn't thriving in the classroom. If you're feeling anxious about the upcoming school year and unsure how to support your child through a potentially tricky teacher match, this episode will help you feel more grounded, empowered, and ready to approach it with openness and confidence. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Do you have a sensitive child? Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. 👉🏻 Learn more about how a one-time or short-term parenting coaching session at Upshur Bren Psychology Group can help you navigate back-to-school transitions, teacher mismatches, and other challenges. You can also schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family's unique needs by going to upshurbren.com/calendar. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it feels like to be a 10-year-old going back to school 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child refuses to go to school 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Psychiatrist, author, and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre joins me to talk about how we can help kids—especially emotionally sensitive ones—understand, process, and reframe internalized messages of self-criticism and even self-hatred. Together we explore: Why even well-loved and supported kids can develop a sense of being "unlovable" How emotional sensitivity can make children more vulnerable to misattunement, comparisons, and internalized shame The difference between skills-based therapy (like DBT) and addressing the deeper emotional roots of suicidality and self-loathing What parents can do in the "before, during, and after" of tough parenting moments to promote co-regulation and connection Why simply telling a child they are wonderful may backfire—and what to say instead How to recognize if your child is living in a distorted self-narrative, and how to gently interrupt that cycle Practical strategies for helping kids build emotional awareness, distress tolerance, and a more compassionate self-concept Why your own nervous system regulation is essential—and how DBT teaches us to regulate before we reflect Whether your child is currently struggling with self-esteem or you just want to shore them up now to minimize this risk in the future, this episode will leave you with powerful insights and tangible tools for helping them feel seen, supported, and deeply understood. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.mcleanhospital.org/treatment/3east 📚 I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You 📚 DBT For Dummies 📚 DBT Workbook For Dummies (For Dummies: Learning Made Easy) ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 27. What do you do when your child says "I'm stupid," "I hate myself," "I'm a bad kid," or worse? 🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child? 🎧 316. Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer 🎧 318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud 🎧 307. Q&A: My toddler is so sensitive that even when I'm being silly with him, he loses it. What can I do?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... Regardless of whether your child is experiencing sensory sensitivities or anxiety, our goal is the same - helping you define exactly what that goal is. Where do anxiety and sensory sensitivities overlap? (Spoiler: A lot of this boils down to nervous system regulation.) How you can help your child understand what their unique triggers are and the tools and strategies that can help them navigate these without so much distress. What to consider to help you if it's time for an intervention, like occupational therapy, parenting support, individual therapy for your child. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family. 🔗 https://www.spacetreatment.net/ 📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety & OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child's hitting might be a sign of aggression or sensory seeking 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Kristen Lindquist joins me for a fascinating conversation about how children develop emotional regulation — and how we as parents can support that growth not just through what we say, but how and when we say it. Together we explore: Why the ability to feel and name emotions is something children build slowly over time — and what role parents play in that process. What neuroscience reveals about how the brain develops emotional literacy from infancy through adolescence (and even into adulthood!) How emotion regulation is like a "software update" that builds on the brain's existing "hardware." Why the timing of emotional teaching matters — and how to use the "before" and "after" moments (not the meltdowns themselves!) for the most impact. How tools like play, books, and nonverbal attunement can build emotional awareness without overwhelming sensitive or avoidant kids. The role of interoception — our sense of internal bodily cues — in helping kids (and adults) understand and manage what they feel. If you've ever tried to label your child's feelings mid-tantrum and been met with more screaming, or felt unsure how to help your child build real coping tools, this episode will help you take a science-backed, developmentally informed approach that fosters connection and long-term resilience. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.kristenalindquist.com/ 🔗 https://psychology.osu.edu/people/lindquist.83 ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my ✨FREE✨ guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! 👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills so you can get back to enjoying parenthood? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin 🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom 🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte