Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Whether or not to address a racial slur your child heard in a song when you're not sure whether or not they picked up on it, and fear you may call attention to it unnecessarily. How to explain the difference between swearing and slurs, and the importance of giving kids context and language around both. Dr. Rebecca shares stories of how similar topics have come up in her own family and how she handled them with her kids. Why just saying "don't say it" can miss the mark for kids. The role of tone, timing, and developmental stage when introducing complex and sensitive topics. How to make it feel safe to make mistakes and learn from them     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child is swearing   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting styles across cultures with Dr. Miguelina German     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Becoming a grandparent is a major shift and yet, it’s rarely talked about in a way that honors the complexity of this role. In this episode, I’m joined by Carol Merle-Fishman to explore the emotional, psychological, and relational shifts that occur when someone becomes a grandparent and how this transition can impact the entire family system.   Together we unpack:   Why grandparenthood is actually a developmental stage of its own. How expectations, unspoken grief, and shifting identities can create tension or disconnection in relationships. Ways adult children can support their parents and in-laws through the grandparenting transition and how grandparents can honor and respect their children's wishes. How to set boundaries with empathy and clarity while nurturing strong multigenerational bonds. The importance of emotional reflection for grandparents navigating this new chapter of life.   Whether you're preparing to become a grandparent, are already in this role, or are a parent looking to better understand and support the grandparents in your life, this episode will offer a compassionate and practical lens for navigating this powerful and often overlooked transition.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:   🔗 https://carolmerlefishman.com/    🎧 104. Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle Fishman     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Becoming a grandparent can bring up big emotions and big questions. Go to upshurbren.com/becomingagrandparent to download my free interactive workbook, Reflecting on Grandparenthood, to help you process the identity shifts, set healthy boundaries, and navigate this transition with clarity, compassion, and confidence. Or forward this episode along to the grandparents in your life.   🔗 https://www.morethangrand.com/     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 89. Fostering deep and meaningful relationships: How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson   🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele   🎧 52. Setting boundaries with your parents and in-laws: Navigating family dynamics with Dr. Emily Upshur   🎧 279. Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   What to do if your child is assigned a teacher whose style may not seem like the best match. How to advocate for your child in a way that supports collaboration and avoids conflict. Why starting the school year with a proactive email to the teacher can set the tone for a strong partnership. The surprising benefits a strict or “old school” teacher might actually offer sensitive kids. How to prepare your child to advocate for themselves, build resilience, and navigate new classroom dynamics. What to do if things don’t go as hoped—and how to intervene effectively if your child truly isn’t thriving in the classroom.   If you’re feeling anxious about the upcoming school year and unsure how to support your child through a potentially tricky teacher match, this episode will help you feel more grounded, empowered, and ready to approach it with openness and confidence.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Do you have a sensitive child? Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.   👉🏻 Learn more about how a one-time or short-term parenting coaching session at Upshur Bren Psychology Group can help you navigate back-to-school transitions, teacher mismatches, and other challenges. You can also schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family’s unique needs by going to upshurbren.com/calendar.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it feels like to be a 10-year-old going back to school   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child refuses to go to school    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Psychiatrist, author, and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre joins me to talk about how we can help kids—especially emotionally sensitive ones—understand, process, and reframe internalized messages of self-criticism and even self-hatred.   Together we explore:   Why even well-loved and supported kids can develop a sense of being “unlovable” How emotional sensitivity can make children more vulnerable to misattunement, comparisons, and internalized shame The difference between skills-based therapy (like DBT) and addressing the deeper emotional roots of suicidality and self-loathing What parents can do in the “before, during, and after” of tough parenting moments to promote co-regulation and connection Why simply telling a child they are wonderful may backfire—and what to say instead How to recognize if your child is living in a distorted self-narrative, and how to gently interrupt that cycle Practical strategies for helping kids build emotional awareness, distress tolerance, and a more compassionate self-concept Why your own nervous system regulation is essential—and how DBT teaches us to regulate before we reflect   Whether your child is currently struggling with self-esteem or you just want to shore them up now to minimize this risk in the future, this episode will leave you with powerful insights and tangible tools for helping them feel seen, supported, and deeply understood.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:   🔗 https://www.mcleanhospital.org/treatment/3east  📚 I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You 📚 DBT For Dummies 📚 DBT Workbook For Dummies (For Dummies: Learning Made Easy)     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.      CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 27. What do you do when your child says “I’m stupid,” “I hate myself,” “I’m a bad kid,” or worse?    🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?    🎧 316. Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer   🎧 318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud   🎧 307. Q&A: My toddler is so sensitive that even when I’m being silly with him, he loses it. What can I do?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   Regardless of whether your child is experiencing sensory sensitivities or anxiety, our goal is the same - helping you define exactly what that goal is. Where do anxiety and sensory sensitivities overlap? (Spoiler: A lot of this boils down to nervous system regulation.) How you can help your child understand what their unique triggers are and the tools and strategies that can help them navigate these without so much distress. What to consider to help you if it’s time for an intervention, like occupational therapy, parenting support, individual therapy for your child.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it’s the right fit for your family.   🔗 https://www.spacetreatment.net/   📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety & OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child's hitting might be a sign of aggression or sensory seeking   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Kristen Lindquist joins me for a fascinating conversation about how children develop emotional regulation — and how we as parents can support that growth not just through what we say, but how and when we say it.   Together we explore: Why the ability to feel and name emotions is something children build slowly over time — and what role parents play in that process. What neuroscience reveals about how the brain develops emotional literacy from infancy through adolescence (and even into adulthood!) How emotion regulation is like a “software update” that builds on the brain’s existing “hardware.” Why the timing of emotional teaching matters — and how to use the “before” and “after” moments (not the meltdowns themselves!) for the most impact. How tools like play, books, and nonverbal attunement can build emotional awareness without overwhelming sensitive or avoidant kids. The role of interoception — our sense of internal bodily cues — in helping kids (and adults) understand and manage what they feel.   If you’ve ever tried to label your child’s feelings mid-tantrum and been met with more screaming, or felt unsure how to help your child build real coping tools, this episode will help you take a science-backed, developmentally informed approach that fosters connection and long-term resilience.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.kristenalindquist.com/ 🔗 https://psychology.osu.edu/people/lindquist.83     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my ✨FREE✨ guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!   👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills so you can get back to enjoying parenthood? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin   🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom   🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   How to prepare a toddler for a parent’s surgery or temporary physical limitations in a way that is honest, concrete, and not scary. Creative, developmentally appropriate ways to help your child understand and process upcoming changes to routines—like playtime, bedtime, or physical closeness. The power of play, role-playing with toys, and using analogies to help kids grasp abstract concepts. What to expect behaviorally from your child during your recovery and strategies for responding to potential regressions or increased irritability. How to reframe this period as a chance to foster independence and pride in your child while still maintaining connection. The surprising importance of shifting focus to what you still can do with your child, and how to create new, meaningful rituals during a difficult time. Why prioritizing your own healing—both physically and emotionally—is one of the most supportive things you can do for your child.       ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to understand toddlerhood with the authors of the Terrific Toddlers series   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to tell your toddler you're pregnant   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about telling your toddler about a miscarriage     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Chelsea Skaggs is here to talk about how couples can keep your romantic relationship strong as you move beyond from early stages of survival mode deeper into parenthood.   Together we explore:   How the demands of parenting shift as your children grow, and what that means for your romantic connection. Tips for getting your partner on board if only one of you feels ready to work on deepening your connection. Simple and practical strategies for attuning to your partner and "reading" the room for your best chance of success feeling a deepened connection. Navigating mismatched energy levels and intentions so bids for connection aren’t thwarted. A power tool anyone can implement right away that can be help you to break out of reactive patterns. How your own nervous system regulation can be a starting point for closeness, including what polyvagal theory teaches us about this. Addressing resentment as a signal of unmet needs—and how to get to the root rather than staying stuck in this toxic loop. Why it’s essential to focus on what’s within your control and give yourself permission to care for yourself, instead of blaming your partner for meeting their needs.   If you’re ready to move beyond just getting through the day and reconnect with your partner in a deeper way, this conversation is for you.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.postpartumtogether.com/   🎧 57. Sex after baby: How to reconnect and increase intimacy with your partner with Chelsea Skaggs   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 59. Sex after baby part II: When we want to want it but we're just touched out   🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton   🎧 148. Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience, with Seth Porges   🎧 115. Q&A: Can you get stuck in a state of fight-or-flight?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...     What you can do if you’re wondering: “Is my kid’s ADHD diagnosis real or do I have an active 10-year-old kid?” How to evaluate the accuracy of a diagnosis and what steps to take if you’re unsure or want a second opinion. Practical tools you can use to support your child—diagnosis or not. Strategies for becoming more aligned with your partner on how to handle parenting challenges and support your child's needs. What is a behavioral observation tracker, and how it can help you decide which interventions would be most helpful to use. The surprising truth about warmth and respect and why erring more on the side of warmth might actually be the key to creating change. (Want to learn more about parenting styles? Check out our episode on the benefits of authoritative parenting.) The parenting patterns we can become entrenched in, and a path forward to getting more on the same page.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a range of services including parenting coaching, neuropsychological evaluations, and ADHD-focused support groups for both kids and parents. Whether you're looking to better understand your child’s diagnosis, explore tools and strategies that actually work, or get on the same page with your co-parent, we’re here to help. Go to upshurbren.com or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.   👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neuropsych evaluations with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about connecting and supporting your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!  

Clinical psychologist and author of the bestselling Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham joins me for a rich conversation about what peaceful parenting really means — and how it can help you set firm, loving limits while staying deeply connected to your child.   Together we explore:   Why connection, not control, is the true foundation of cooperation and emotional resilience.   What setting limits with empathy looks like in real life (and why it’s not the same as being permissive).   The surprising way laughter can help your child release built-up stress and unshed tears.   Practical tools to respond to big feelings like anger, sadness, and aggression — without adding more fuel to your child's fire.   Why behaviorism often oversimplifies how kids learn and grow and what advances in neuroscience reveal are how humans actually learn best.   Why the goal of parenting isn’t perfectly calm, compliant kids — but helping them build the neural wiring for lifelong emotional regulation.   If you’ve ever felt torn between being “too strict” or “too soft,” or overwhelmed by the endless parenting advice out there, this episode will help you zoom out, get grounded, and focus on what really matters for your child — and for you.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:   📚 https://www.peacefulparenthappykids.com/   📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting   📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using Mindfulness and Connection to Raise Resilient, Joyful Children and Rediscover Your Love of Parenting   📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life     ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!   👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/bethecalm for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 39. Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach: Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur   🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom   🎧 234. Parenting with the “Whole-Brain”: How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel