Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Polarity can help you have a hot sex & dating life, not to mention a stronger love relationship overall. And like many things in life, it's not a perfect concept; there are issues with it."In what ways have you found polarity to be useful in your sex and relationship life? In what ways have you found it to be off or problematic?"I posed these questions to our clients in an effort to help shine a light on the problems with polarity. I believe polarity can be hugely helpful in understanding sexual attraction and heat, as well as trust and fulfillment, in both short- and long-term relationships. I also believe it can help us understand ourselves better as human beings in our own rights, not just in interpersonal dynamics.Becoming skillful with polarity is a valuable goal, and including its flaws in the conversation is important. Here we delve into what we see as the top three problems with polarity, and how to use it as a force of good in sex, dating, and relationships.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:"Alpha is often observing and omega is being observed.""Things can be in opposition without being in conflict.""Polarity is not an excuse for abusive behavior."---Other helpful episodes on polarity:181: What exactly is polarity? We break it down. (ft. Violet Lange)103: Reverse polarity can kill your sex life as a couple -- unless you do this

As a woman, I sometimes feel like saying to all the Nice Guys out there: We need you!We need you on the court, in the game, on the field of Life. We need you not just as romantic partners (though we do desperately want you there), but as fathers, as colleagues, as teammates.And we need you to be in your power. We need you to be able to speak up for yourself, to tell use the truth (even if it's uncomfortable), to come towards us sexually, to set healthy boundaries. We need your full self.If you identify as a Nice Guy, it's likely that you're working on stepping into your power. And we want to support you in that. Here, we don't just talk about what it means to step into your power, but share success stories of men we've worked with who've gone from feeling disempowered/unable to take up space ... to asserting themselves in healthy and deeply satisfying ways.Memorable quotes from this episode:"When I’ve been out of my power, it’s when I’ve lost connection to myself.""It was easier to just let her control everything, and not assert much agency, let alone power. This worked for a while, but eventually blew up in my face.""I’m happy to interrupt people now (in a way I did not used to).""I often used to fall into others people’s desires or wants.""In relationship it’s, 'Here’s my truth, what’s your truth, and then how can we empower each other?'"---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)Other episodes related to this one:Episode 239: Realized I’m a "Nice Guy." Now what do I do about it?Episode 6: From "Nice Guy" to Confident With Women & Married to a Goddess

Here's a pattern we've noticed in a lot of the men we work with:They've never gone after the women they really wanted. As one man put it, "A lot of times the girls that I’ve attracted have come to me … and haven't been the most stable."For some men, these dating relationships have even turned into marriages -- without the man necessarily wanting things to go that way. He has felt swept along by the current, often going along with what she wants rather than deeply considering his own wants and needs.If a lot of the sexual or romantic relationships you've been in have been because a woman approached you, rather than you taking the lead, you might fall into this category. Or if you've been too intimidated or scared to pursue women you find really attractive, this could be you. (We also cover super-crushes here, which you may relate to.)Fortunately there are things you can do to interrupt the pattern, and stand up for what you truly want. We've worked with countless clients who've learned how to stop being passive and become active agents in their own sex, dating, and relationship lives -- and it has absolutely changed the game.Remember: It’s always possible to heal trauma, grow as a person, build community, and enjoy a thriving love and sex life. Listen on to hear more!---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:"I was getting hung up on partners that weren't really interested or available.""There was this other thing going on is that the women that liked me, I didn't want. So I felt stuck.""It turns out, it was me!""The hidden thing was that having a supercrush was very safe.""I never actually had to confront my edges of intimacy."

It's a solo episode! I pulled together some questions from clients or listeners, and go into depth on them.Remember that you can always send me your question or questions -- just email me at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com. Everything is on the table, from sex and dating to relationships and repair. I want to hear from you!Here are the questions I answer on this episode:How do I rebuild trust with a partner after a rupture, or a lack of leading over time?How do I date someone in the same friend group without it getting weird?I went on a date with a woman and it went pretty well, but we didn't kiss at the end. I got the sense (especially in thinking back) that she wanted me to kiss her when we were outside waiting for her ride. It's tough because it's so hard to know what the right thing to do is. How do I know when it's time to kiss her on a date??---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:Dear Men episode 238: How do I approach a woman at the gym? How do I approach a woman at work?

Does it feel exiting for your woman to be fully open with you, feel deeply cherished, and want to f*** your brains out?Then you’re going to want to listen to this one. You’re likely familiar with polarity — that sacred dance between alpha & omega. It’s a potent force that shows up in dating, sex, love relationships, and beyond (and helps explain the mystery of attraction).But polarity also includes the 3 stages of relating. As we mature in relationships, we can graduate from stage 1 (we’re in rigidly-defined roles), to stage 2 (we talk through everything), to stage 3 — the topic of this episode. Stage 3 relationships are cutting-edge. They go beyond societal norms. Stage 3 is exciting, pioneering, and embodied. And in Jason’s words, “it tends to *wake us up* as men.” This kind of relating makes things sexy in relationship, and it also makes things deeply safe — if you know how to work it. The truth is, most omega partners deeply yearn to be fully, truly expressed, and in stage 3, that's the name of the game. In Jason's words, “Through your direction, you can invite expression.”If you want to lead your woman in ways you’ve never even considered — if you want to provide a space within which she can both deeply relax and feel even more of her heart, and even soul, listen on.Note: Credit to David Deida’s work on polarity and the stages of relationships. Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:“I used to try to explain why what she was feeling was wrong.”“I had so much resistance to the Hot Mess archetype because I was punished by my parents for being that.”“In stage 2 it’s about wanting it to end — I want to release and get us back to peace. But in stage 3, it’s like, ‘Bring it all. Let’s ride this wave.’”“Tell me that again, but like a hippo.”“Once we welcome the expression of energy fully, it often resolves itself … you don’t have to do nearly as much as you think.”

Jason Lange, a relationship coach specializing in masculine energy and polarity dynamics, dives into the crucial concept of polarity in relationships. He explains how a balance of alpha and omega energies can ignite a thriving sex life. The discussion unveils the issues of reverse polarity, where mismatched energies can hinder intimacy. Listeners learn how to navigate sexual dynamics and emotional growth, reshaping connections from superficial to deeply fulfilling. The conversation emphasizes vulnerability and intentional actions for a stronger partnership.

As a client recently put it, where do you go to "scrimmage" with women? How and where do you practice relating, flirting, and connecting with the feminine? It can feel like the stakes are high once you're on an actual date (not to mention getting to sexy time and beyond).Here we talk all about that! We cover communities where relating (and practicing relating authentically) is the name of the game. We give you concrete suggestions on where to go during your week to get practice in with women, as well as what kinds of events to prioritize.This is doable. You can join communities where there's a regular partner practice, find spots where women are but someone else sets the container so you can focus on relating to her, and more. We want to support and encourage healthy relationships, and practice around dating can help. It's the new year -- LFG!Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Memorable quotes"Online dating can be crushing.""Structure in your life can lead to other structures.""Half my female clients meet their partners in real life.""Creating a structure in your week where there are opportunities to be around new women can be a game-changer."---Mentioned on this episode:Violet's program: Radiant LoveJaiya's community work with the erotic blueprintsLondin Angel Winters & Justin Patrick Pierce's work

When you were growing up, did you have a host of great role models when it came to how to be a good man?No, probably not. The vast majority of men with whom we work lacked solid role models for healthy masculinity, both at home and at school. This damaged their ability to succeed in dating, relationships, and sex, and led to a lot of suffering.Scott Kaltenbaugh is working to change that. He's in the school system working in the classroom as well as doing one-on-one mentorship with boys and young men. The goal is to teach them how to be "a calm but assured version of masculinity."But how do you do that? What do you teach, and how do you describe what it is to wield power? Listen for a fascinating view into an inspiring potential future for us as a culture. (Also, if you have sons or may have sons in the future, this one will be of particular interest to you.)---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love life for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Memorable quotes from this episode:“I was starting to see so much toxic masculinity I started to devalue my own masculinity.”“These boys don’t get shown possibilities — it’s just, ‘Don’t be these things.’”“I started to see how much harm our boys are facing.”“I can’t control what the world does to me, but I can control how I meet that.”“Emotion are tools. They’re important.”“Power is our ability to meet and shape the world around us.”“Sometimes it’s important to bond shoulder-to-shoulder; sometimes it’s important to bond face-to-face.”---Mentioned on the episodeScott's program, the Inspiring Men Project, and his own siteThis is Your Moment (program to stop rape)RAINN (Rape & Incest National Network) -- free, confidential chat-based support for anyone who has experience any form of sexual assaultSacred Sonz -- virtual and in-person support for boys and teens

Ever been in a relationship where you felt like it started off GREAT, but over time it became really hard? Ever felt like you had electric sex with someone, especially at the beginning, but then you were often put in the doghouse for doing something "wrong," and that eventually you ended up constantly walking on eggshells to try not to trigger your partner? Then you'll likely resonate with this episode.If you're someone who struggles with setting healthy boundaries, you may have noticed a certain pattern in terms of the dating and relationship partners you've ended up with.In our work with men we've often seen a certain kind of polarity where men with Nice Guy tendencies attract women with traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These women are often brilliant, funny, engaging, witty, exciting to be around ... and volatile. Romantic relationships with them can be a rollercoaster with precipitous highs and lows.Fortunately, we've also seen countless men overcome this pattern and grow beyond it. Here we delve into the pattern itself, reasons behind it, and what to do about it.Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love life for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)—Memorable quotes:“One of the hallmark traits of Nice Guys is overextending.”“It’s often the volatile person’s nervous system that gets centered.”“If you don’t see reality their way, you’re the enemy.”“There’s a fear that if I end this, I’m going to be alone."“At an early age, the Nice Guy had to regulate one of his parents, or the family system itself.”“Maybe me speaking up isn’t aggressive.”---Mentioned on this episode:Dear Men episode 239: Just realized I'm a nice guy. Now what?Dear Men episode 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder

Divorce is a complex and often sensitive topic. For many, there are questions of success and failure, grief and loss, as well as the question of what we’re role-modeling to our children.Questions can come up like, “Is it honoring of myself to stay in this relationship? Should I stay because I made a vow, even if it sacrifices my well-being? And if we do get divorced, will I ever find another partner?”Here, three men reveal their truth around their process of getting divorced, as well as their experiences dating, having sex, and getting into new relationships post-divorce.Memorable quotes from this episode:“I didn’t feel safe to voice my needs with my partner.”“I felt like my identity was being snuffed out in my marriage.”“It was a deep-dive back into my passions.”“Am I worthy? Will a quality woman say yes to this?”“We’re both doing work and we support each other.”—Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love life for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)