324: What does it mean to open a woman? (ft. Jason Lange)
Aug 30, 2024
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Jason Lange, a relationship expert and coach, dives deep into the nuances of emotional vulnerability in relationships. He discusses the concept of 'opening' a woman, sharing personal stories of both connection and disconnection. Highlights include the importance of validating emotions over dismissing them, fostering intimacy through honest dialogue, and the parallels between emotional fitness and therapy. Jason emphasizes how physical touch and safety can enhance emotional bonds, ultimately guiding listeners towards healthier relationships.
The discussion explores the importance of self-advocacy in overcoming feelings of unlovability and reclaiming personal power for healthier relationships.
Emotional vulnerability is highlighted as a critical element for fostering deeper connections, allowing partners to feel seen and valued through shared struggles.
The role of physical touch is emphasized as a means to enhance emotional connections, facilitating deeper intimacy beyond verbal communication.
Deep dives
Understanding Self-Worth and Belonging
The episode emphasizes the struggle many individuals face with feelings of unlovability and the deeper issue of self-worth. This internal conflict often manifests as a lack of belonging, where individuals may feel undeserving of love or connection. Addressing these feelings is foundational for personal growth and healthy relationships. By advocating for oneself and recognizing one's intrinsic value, individuals can start to overcome these barriers.
The Power of Advocacy in Relationships
A significant success story shared highlights the importance of self-advocacy in both personal and professional spheres. One individual was able to request time off work after decades of feeling unable to do so, leading to a fulfilling vacation with friends that rejuvenated his spirit. This experience illustrated how breaking free from longstanding patterns can lead to newfound joy and connection, especially when supported by a community. It reinforces that taking steps to ask for what one needs is essential in reclaiming personal power.
Opening and Closing in Relationships
The conversation shifts to the dynamics of opening and closing in interpersonal relationships, particularly emphasizing the feminizing aspect of emotional connections. Closing occurs when individuals dismiss or invalidate each other's feelings, often leading to withdrawal and disconnection. In contrast, opening involves an emotional vulnerability, where partners create a safe space for sharing authentic feelings. This dynamic can be crucial for healing and fostering deeper connections in relationships.
Embracing Vulnerability to Foster Connection
The role of vulnerability is highlighted as a key factor for both partners to feel secure and open up authentically. When one partner shares their struggles or emotional state honestly, this can often resonate with the other, creating an atmosphere of trust and mutual understanding. Instances of personal stories reflect how opening up in moments of discomfort can lead to deeper intimacy and connection. These moments have the potential to transform a relationship, allowing both individuals to feel truly seen and valued.
Physical Connection as a Pathway to Openness
The discussion also touches on the significance of physical touch and presence in enhancing emotional connections. Holding and embracing can act as a bridge to deeper emotional expression, often bypassing the complexities of verbal communication. Engaging in physical proximity creates an opportunity for individuals to release pent-up emotions and reconnect on a more profound level. This aspect emphasizes the necessity of being attuned to both emotional and physical needs within relationships.
Ever been around a woman who was closed down, shut off, or emotionally unavailable? Ever felt like your partner wanted to say something but was holding back, and if you'd somehow shown up in a different way, maybe she'd have let you in?
Perhaps you've felt some version of, "I can’t handle that anger right now so I need to remove that anger from her." Or if your partner is upset with you, you've expressed something like, "You don’t need to feel that way because here was my *intention* in doing that."
Dating, sex, and relationships can feel like a huge mystery. Hell, women and feelings themselves can feel like a huge mystery! But there are certain principles that hold true, and grasping the nuances of polarity can help you navigate everything with more grace and clarity.
Here, I share personal stories of feeling opened by a man (as well as times I've felt closed by one), and we outline what it takes to become the man who can open an available woman.
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Work with us
Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.
To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
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Memorable quotes from this episode:
"Instead of acknowledging what she was feeling and getting curious, it triggered my wounding around not being enough as a man, so I would try to explain to her why she was wrong."
"Can I allow the person who hurt me to then be the person to hold me?"
"The deeper trust we form is, 'Oh, we can do this. We can move through conflict.'"
"This is one of the greatest gifts we can bring to another human being."
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Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode