
Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn
It can be hard to navigate relationships when you have ADHD. Host Cate Osborn has ADHD, a background in sex education, and a whole lot of questions like “How do I know what I want out of a relationship? How do I remember my friends exist? What can I do to handle conflict better?”
Tune in to Sorry, I Missed This to learn about topics like social skills, boundaries, communication, intimacy, and sex. Join Cate in unpacking the taboo, painful, and often hilarious challenges of being in a relationship when you have ADHD.
Latest episodes

Jul 1, 2025 • 35min
ADHD grief isn’t linear — and that’s totally normal
Rachel Hopkins, a licensed professional counselor with expertise in ADHD and grief, joins to discuss the unique challenges faced by those with ADHD during the grieving process. They explore how emotional intensity, time blindness, and memory struggles create a nonlinear mourning journey. Rachel emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and community support and offers strategies for those grappling with grief to manage their emotions effectively. Insights are shared on balancing distraction and avoidance, while addressing the societal pressures surrounding grief.

Jun 17, 2025 • 28min
How hormones hijack focus, mood, and energy
Join psychiatrist Dr. Lotta Borg Skoglund, a Swedish expert studying ADHD and hormones in women, as she unravels how hormonal cycles impact ADHD. They dive into the effects of PMS, pregnancy, and menopause on ADHD symptoms, highlighting the often-ignored challenges women face. Lotta discusses the formation of her research group, GODDESS ADHD, and emphasizes the importance of mapping one's cycle to better understand symptom fluctuations. Explore how hormones connect to emotional sensitivity, providing valuable insights for women navigating ADHD.

12 snips
Jun 3, 2025 • 31min
Too much or not enough: ADHD sensory challenges and sex
Lyne Piché, a Canadian psychologist and sex therapist, sheds light on how ADHD affects intimacy. She discusses the nuances of sensory issues during sex, explaining why moments can feel overwhelming or unexciting. Lyne emphasizes the role of trust in partnerships and advocates for open communication about sensory needs. She introduces concepts like 'yes' spaces for intimacy and how kink can help. Ultimately, it's about self-discovery and redefining what works in your intimate life, all while dispelling feelings of shame.

May 20, 2025 • 23min
ADHD and caregiving: Helping others when you’re struggling
Being a caregiver to a friend or loved one is hard—add ADHD to the mix, and it’s a whole different challenge.Self-care and ADHD Coach Stephanie Antoine joins us to talk about what it’s like caring for our loved ones while managing executive dysfunction, burnout, and more. She also offers a few mindfulness practices to help us recenter when the stress feels like too much. If you’ve ever struggled to care for someone else while trying to keep yourself afloat, this one’s for you.Related resourcesStephanie’s website, stephanieantoine.comDownload: Feeling stressed? Try the 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness technique From the ADHD Aha! podcast, Jessica McCabe on motherhood, social anxiety, and ADHD medicationTimestamps(02:59) Why did Stephanie start helping others in caregiving roles?(04:52) Executive function and caregiving, and beating yourself up(07:51) How do we manage big feelings like frustration and resentment while caregiving?(12:33) Perfectionism and caregiving(17:14) The one thing Stephanie wants you to hear today(19:09) A short guided meditation exercise from StephanieFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.
Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

May 6, 2025 • 29min
Kink, BDSM, and ADHD
In this engaging discussion, Stefani Goerlich, an author and forensic sexologist, dives into the intersection of BDSM and ADHD. She explains how kink can serve as a valuable tool for regulation and connection, offering benefits like improved focus and enhanced communication. The conversation challenges common myths about BDSM, emphasizing its relational nature and the importance of consent. Stefani also sheds light on how negotiated arrangements can alleviate executive function challenges and strengthen emotional bonds in relationships.

Apr 22, 2025 • 28min
Online dating with ADHD
Dr. Shauna Pollard, a Clinical Psychologist and online dating expert from Georgia, dives into the complexities of online dating for individuals with ADHD. She shares insights on the unique challenges, such as the dopamine chase from apps and the importance of setting personal boundaries. The conversation covers how to authentically market oneself while managing distractions and the significance of offline dating. Pollard also discusses navigating biases and offers practical tips for building meaningful relationships in the digital age.

Apr 8, 2025 • 31min
Reddit reactions: ADHD, cheating, and weaponized incompetence
Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.Are ADHD and cheating related? What about weaponized incompetence and ADHD? These are a few questions that surround the ADHD community.Producer Margie visits the podcast for another round of ‘Reddit reactions’ with more posts from the ADHD women subreddit. Listen for host Cate Osborn’s reactions on a few different scenarios related to cheating and weaponized incompetence.Related resourcesThe National Domestic Violence HotlineThe ADHD Women subredditADHD support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook groupTimestamps(02:00) Post #1 “ADHD and cheating/Adrenaline and dopamine”(09:24) Post #2 “Narcissist cheater and ADHD”(15:30) Post #3 “Does anyone else sometimes identify with those ‘weaponized incompetence’ guys you hear about?”(21:22) Post #4 “I’m so tired of trying to compensate for myself AND my partner”(27:51) ADHD can be challenging, and you’re not aloneFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.
Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Mar 25, 2025 • 27min
What makes a ‘good listener’ with ADHD?
In this engaging discussion, Sarah Greenberg, Vice President of Expertise at Understood.org and licensed therapist, shares her insights on the listening challenges faced by individuals with ADHD. The conversation highlights how ADHD can affect self-consciousness during interactions and explores different modes of listening, such as listening to understand or connect. Greenberg emphasizes the importance of recognizing personal listening strengths and offers strategies to enhance communication and intimacy in relationships, celebrating the unique perspectives brought by ADHD.

Mar 11, 2025 • 27min
Building ADHD community
Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.Without community, ADHD can feel isolating and shameful. Like you’re the only one facing these challenges and “can’t get it together.” Community provides a space to share the wins and the embarrassing moments. And it can be especially helpful for women processing late diagnoses.Host of the ADHDAF podcast and UK ADHD community builder, Laura Mears-Reynolds, visits the show to talk about how sharing experiences with others can ease shame, and create support. Related resourcesadhdasfemales.comThe ADHD Women subredditADHD Support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook groupTimestamps(00:57) How do we find value in a community with ADHD?(03:58) How did Laura get started building the ADHDAF community?(09:39) Feeling alone in what you’re facing without community(14:36) Being compassionate with others helps us be compassionate with ourselves(18:14) Feeling isolated with ADHD(19:56) How do I find community? How do I build it myself?For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.
Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Feb 25, 2025 • 28min
The ADHD shame spiral from making mistakes in relationships
Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.A lot of shame can come up when a person with ADHD is confronted about a mistake they’ve made. They might start to spiral into bad feelings, and negative self-talk, when really the person bringing up the mistake most likely wants to repair their relationship, and even strengthen their bond.Host Cate Osborn chats to ADHD coach Jaye Lin about why this happens, and what we can do to “reverse the train” to stop the spiral. Jaye is the host of another show on the MissUnderstood podcast channel, Tips from an ADHD Coach. Related resourcesThe MissUnderstood podcast channel (where you can find Jaye’s podcast, Tips from an ADHD Coach)ADHD and: ShameADHD and emotionsTimestamps(00:41) Being scared of making mistakes or showing ADHD traits(04:38) “Reversing the train” instead of spiraling when someone brings up a mistake we’ve made(08:23) Slipping into the shame spiral easily(11:28) Directly addressing the damage caused by your actions, intentional or not(15:51) The element of repair(16:30) Perfectionism and internalized judgement(20:28) Rejection sensitivity and how we react to things(23:19) The “scary moment” when someone brings up your mistake(25:55) Jaye’s last piece of adviceFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.
Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give