Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

Have you ever been called a “manic pixie dream girl” by someone you were dating? Is it hard to remember your partner when they’re not with you? ADHD can bring its own set of challenges to dating, and romantic relationships.Producer Margie visits the podcast to share what she’s found on the ADHD Women subreddit, where women with ADHD ask questions and share their challenges and wins. Listen for Cate’s reactions and a chat about common romantic dilemmas for women with ADHD!Related resourcesThe ADHD Women subredditADHD Support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook groupTimestamps(00:00) Women with ADHD communities, and common dating tropes(03:46) Post #1 “I was too much for him”(06:37) Post #2 “I did 12 loads of laundry to avoid writing a dating profile”(11:56) Post #3 “Anyone else chronically feel like they’re not in a place where they’re ready to date?”(16:27) Post #4 “Having ADHD as a woman and still having to carry the mental load”(22:20) Post #5 “The ADHD struggle of falling in love after every good date”(27:04) Post #6 “Does anyone else struggle with accidentally ignoring their partner or friends?”(34:28) Talking about what gives us shame helps everyoneFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD can impact pregnancy in a number of ways: Higher rate of postpartum depression, hormone surges that affect the brain’s functioning, increased demands on our executive function, and so much more. Our guest this week, Dusty Chipura, is an ADHD and pregnancy expert, ADHD coach, and doula in training. Dusty takes us through pregnancy with ADHD, what you might expect, and what conversations are important to have with your support network ahead of welcoming a baby. Related resourcesA guide to hormones and ADHDADHD and pregnancy workbook by Alix Bacon and Dusty ChipuraDusty’s website, vancouveradhdcoaching.comTimestamps(01:27) Some ways ADHD affects pregnancy(02:25) How did Dusty become an expert in ADHD and pregnancy?(04:21) First trimester/early pregnancy and ADHD(05:57) Sensory sensitivities and pregnancy(08:44) Second trimester(13:23) What conversations should we be having with our support system during this time?(17:20) Third trimester(20:04) What happens after the baby is born?(22:33) ADHD and the postpartum period(25:55) Best practices and tools(28:41) Dusty’s top tips(30:35) Dealing with parental guilt(31:59) Where you can find DustyFor a transcript and more resources visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sometimes, romantic relationships just don’t work out. And breaking up with someone can be really tough — including having the breakup conversation. With ADHD, overthinking, people-pleasing, and rejection sensitivity can make it even harder. This week, ADHD coach and author of I Don’t Hate My Ex-Husband Jess DuBose visits Sorry, I Missed This. Listen to learn how to check in with yourself about your relationship, and some tips to help you through a breakup conversation. Related resourcesADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)Jess’ website, jessdubose.comI Don’t Hate My Ex-Husband by Jess DuBoseNational Domestic Violence HotlineRainn.orgTimestamps(02:08) Why did Jess write her book?(04:13) How does ADHD impact breaking up?(05:19) Staying in a relationship because of people-pleasing(07:42) Jess’ growth process: ASPIRE(10:22) Guided meditation exercise about whether or not to break up with someone(14:08) What can help you through a breakup(19:32) Initiating the conversation to end a relationship(24:10) How to avoid the impulse to backpedal during the breakup conversation(27:37) Jess’ parting advice(29:14) Where you can find JessTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Self-advocacy and ADHD workplace disclosure come together in a package. It’s important to know yourself and your values in order to be the best self-advocate you can be. In this week’s episode, ADHD at Work founder Meghan Brown-Enyia answers the question: What is a good self-advocate? And, gives her recipe for advocating for yourself.  Related resourcesWhat is self-advocacy?Pros and cons of disclosing a disability to employersAccommodations: What they are and how they workMeghan’s website, ADHDatwork.coTimestamps(03:05) Why did Meghan create ADHD at Work?(06:59) Am I ready to be an ADHD self-advocate?(09:37) Meghan’s recipe for self-advocacy(13:19) Self-advocacy and emotional regulation(16:08) How do you figure out your ADHD needs in the workplace?(19:33) Best practices for asking for supports(24:00) Am I a bad self-advocate if I choose not to disclose my ADHD?(26:36) Where you can find MeghanTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Consent is an agreement that people reach together. It can get a bit tricky with people-pleasing and black and white thinking — two things that can often come up with ADHD. The Wheel of Consent can help.This week, host Cate Osborn welcomes Betty Martin to the show. Betty is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent. Join Betty and Cate as they break down the Wheel of Consent and why it can be a great tool for ADHDers.Related resourcesThe Wheel of Consent diagram PDFHow to play the 3-minute gameBetty’s website, bettymartin.orgTimestamps(00:00) Introduction to the Wheel of Consent(03:08) What is consent? (08:25) What does the Wheel of Consent do? (10:25) Redefining “receiving” and “giving” (12:21) ADHD, and talking about consent(17:34) How to figure out what you actually want(23:14) The 3-minute game(29:26) “Putting up with” touch(31:26) The “shadow sides” of the Wheel of Consent(35:17) Where you can find Betty and more Wheel of Consent resourcesTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Anita Robertson, author of "ADHD & Us" and a licensed clinical social worker, discusses the fascinating connection between ADHD and sensory systems. She reveals how hidden sensory differences, like interoception, vestibular, and proprioception, significantly impact communication and emotional regulation. Listeners learn practical strategies to identify their sensory needs and improve relationships. Anita emphasizes the importance of physical movement and sensory awareness in enhancing connections, making this conversation both insightful and actionable.

Have you ever impulsively thrown yourself into a relationship? Do you change your interests based on who you’re dating? Today, we're sharing an episode of the "Tips from an ADHD Coach" podcast on rushing into relationships that might not actually be what you want.  ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on changing yourself in relationships. Listen for Jaye’s own connection to this, and some reality checks you can give yourself. Explore more episodes of "Tips from an ADHD Coach" and check out other podcasts on MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel.To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.Related resourcesADHD, loving intensely, and impulsivity (Ange’s story)ADHD and emotionsTimestamps(02:28) Ange’s quote(04:51) Jaye’s reaction(06:25) What is dopamine?(09:57) What happens once we get into the relationship we wanted?(11:47) What can we do to help? Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Conflict can be uncomfortable. But it’s a necessary part of life that can have great outcomes. ADHD often comes with trouble with executive function, emotional regulation, time perception, and more. This can make conflict even tougher to face. Senior certified Gottman relationship therapist Michael McNulty walks us through the research on which the Gottman Method is based — and what it means for relationships.Listen to Cate and Michael as they explore how conflict can change with ADHD, and the four horsemen of divorce — each with their own antidote.Related resourcesTrouble with self-regulation: What to knowThe Gottman InstituteMichael’s website, chicagorelationshipcenter.comTimestamps(03:34) What is the Gottman Method?(06:00) The research the Gottman Method is based on(09:42) ADHD and the Gottman Method(12:54) Executive function and conflict(15:22) Time perception and conflict(16:20) What is “turning away and turning towards”?(19:13) The four horsemen of divorce(20:32) The first horseman: Criticism(23:26) The second horseman: Defensiveness(24:50) The third horseman: Contempt(27:48) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling(29:11) Where you can find MichaelTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Dating is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice. ADHD can intensify dating challenges. Like, masking to be someone we’re not so the other person will like us. Or, having intense feelings quickly, and jumping into a relationship that may not be what we want in the long run. Dating coach Amie Leadingham visits the show this week to talk about what a dating coach does and common dating pitfalls. Host Cate Osborn addresses what these challenges can look like with ADHD on top. Related resourcesIs it love or is it dopamine?, from Tips from an ADHD CoachA dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting, from How’d You Get THAT Job?!Amie’s website, amiethedatingcoach.comTimestamps(03:59) What does a dating coach do?(08:07) How ADHD can affect dating(09:29) ADHD and “love bombing”(12:56) What is “screening”?(14:04) Masking in dating/The “marketing trap”(17:50) How to ask good questions(19:45) What to do when you realize your relationship might not be what you want(21:37) How can people with ADHD show up to be good partners?(23:42) When do we disclose that we have ADHD?(25:21) Trouble with time perception and texting(26:20) Trouble with impulse control and dating(27:30) Amie’s question suggestions(29:00) ADHD and oversharing(30:54) Amie on a dating timeline(33:10) ADHD and kink(34:24) Where you can find AmieTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Workplace relationships can be challenging for anyone. But for people with ADHD, trouble with working memory, self-control, emotions, and more can make professionalism even more confusing.Executive and ADHD coach Farah Jamil visits the show to clear up some common mysteries, like, how do I speak up for myself? And, what do I do when I’ve made a mistake? Listen for her answers, and some great tips to keep in your back pocket.  Related resourcesI’m having communication issues at work. What’s going on?Radical Candor by Kim ScottFarah’s websiteFarah’s LinkedInTimestamps(03:38) What does Farah do as an executive coach and ADHD coach?(06:57) Recognizing that it’s OK not to have all of the answers at work(09:40) How can ADHD affect collaboration in the workplace?(11:01) The What, the How, and the Why(13:03) How can ADHD affect communication in the workplace?(14:56) Feeling socially awkward at work(17:15) How to start identifying your needs(19:36) Conflict in the workplace(21:43) Communication strategies(25:28) How can we take ownership of our mistakes?(31:12) Fear of success(34:37) Where you can find FarahTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give