Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

Sometimes, romantic relationships just don’t work out. And breaking up with someone can be really tough — including having the breakup conversation. With ADHD, overthinking, people-pleasing, and rejection sensitivity can make it even harder. This week, ADHD coach and author of I Don’t Hate My Ex-Husband Jess DuBose visits Sorry, I Missed This. Listen to learn how to check in with yourself about your relationship, and some tips to help you through a breakup conversation. Related resourcesADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)Jess’ website, jessdubose.comI Don’t Hate My Ex-Husband by Jess DuBoseNational Domestic Violence HotlineRainn.orgTimestamps(02:08) Why did Jess write her book?(04:13) How does ADHD impact breaking up?(05:19) Staying in a relationship because of people-pleasing(07:42) Jess’ growth process: ASPIRE(10:22) Guided meditation exercise about whether or not to break up with someone(14:08) What can help you through a breakup(19:32) Initiating the conversation to end a relationship(24:10) How to avoid the impulse to backpedal during the breakup conversation(27:37) Jess’ parting advice(29:14) Where you can find JessTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Self-advocacy and ADHD workplace disclosure come together in a package. It’s important to know yourself and your values in order to be the best self-advocate you can be. In this week’s episode, ADHD at Work founder Meghan Brown-Enyia answers the question: What is a good self-advocate? And, gives her recipe for advocating for yourself.  Related resourcesWhat is self-advocacy?Pros and cons of disclosing a disability to employersAccommodations: What they are and how they workMeghan’s website, ADHDatwork.coTimestamps(03:05) Why did Meghan create ADHD at Work?(06:59) Am I ready to be an ADHD self-advocate?(09:37) Meghan’s recipe for self-advocacy(13:19) Self-advocacy and emotional regulation(16:08) How do you figure out your ADHD needs in the workplace?(19:33) Best practices for asking for supports(24:00) Am I a bad self-advocate if I choose not to disclose my ADHD?(26:36) Where you can find MeghanTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Consent is an agreement that people reach together. It can get a bit tricky with people-pleasing and black and white thinking — two things that can often come up with ADHD. The Wheel of Consent can help.This week, host Cate Osborn welcomes Betty Martin to the show. Betty is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent. Join Betty and Cate as they break down the Wheel of Consent and why it can be a great tool for ADHDers.Related resourcesThe Wheel of Consent diagram PDFHow to play the 3-minute gameBetty’s website, bettymartin.orgTimestamps(00:00) Introduction to the Wheel of Consent(03:08) What is consent? (08:25) What does the Wheel of Consent do? (10:25) Redefining “receiving” and “giving” (12:21) ADHD, and talking about consent(17:34) How to figure out what you actually want(23:14) The 3-minute game(29:26) “Putting up with” touch(31:26) The “shadow sides” of the Wheel of Consent(35:17) Where you can find Betty and more Wheel of Consent resourcesTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Anita Robertson, author of "ADHD & Us" and a licensed clinical social worker, discusses the fascinating connection between ADHD and sensory systems. She reveals how hidden sensory differences, like interoception, vestibular, and proprioception, significantly impact communication and emotional regulation. Listeners learn practical strategies to identify their sensory needs and improve relationships. Anita emphasizes the importance of physical movement and sensory awareness in enhancing connections, making this conversation both insightful and actionable.

Have you ever impulsively thrown yourself into a relationship? Do you change your interests based on who you’re dating? Today, we're sharing an episode of the "Tips from an ADHD Coach" podcast on rushing into relationships that might not actually be what you want.  ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on changing yourself in relationships. Listen for Jaye’s own connection to this, and some reality checks you can give yourself. Explore more episodes of "Tips from an ADHD Coach" and check out other podcasts on MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel.To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.Related resourcesADHD, loving intensely, and impulsivity (Ange’s story)ADHD and emotionsTimestamps(02:28) Ange’s quote(04:51) Jaye’s reaction(06:25) What is dopamine?(09:57) What happens once we get into the relationship we wanted?(11:47) What can we do to help? Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Conflict can be uncomfortable. But it’s a necessary part of life that can have great outcomes. ADHD often comes with trouble with executive function, emotional regulation, time perception, and more. This can make conflict even tougher to face. Senior certified Gottman relationship therapist Michael McNulty walks us through the research on which the Gottman Method is based — and what it means for relationships.Listen to Cate and Michael as they explore how conflict can change with ADHD, and the four horsemen of divorce — each with their own antidote.Related resourcesTrouble with self-regulation: What to knowThe Gottman InstituteMichael’s website, chicagorelationshipcenter.comTimestamps(03:34) What is the Gottman Method?(06:00) The research the Gottman Method is based on(09:42) ADHD and the Gottman Method(12:54) Executive function and conflict(15:22) Time perception and conflict(16:20) What is “turning away and turning towards”?(19:13) The four horsemen of divorce(20:32) The first horseman: Criticism(23:26) The second horseman: Defensiveness(24:50) The third horseman: Contempt(27:48) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling(29:11) Where you can find MichaelTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Dating is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice. ADHD can intensify dating challenges. Like, masking to be someone we’re not so the other person will like us. Or, having intense feelings quickly, and jumping into a relationship that may not be what we want in the long run. Dating coach Amie Leadingham visits the show this week to talk about what a dating coach does and common dating pitfalls. Host Cate Osborn addresses what these challenges can look like with ADHD on top. Related resourcesIs it love or is it dopamine?, from Tips from an ADHD CoachA dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting, from How’d You Get THAT Job?!Amie’s website, amiethedatingcoach.comTimestamps(03:59) What does a dating coach do?(08:07) How ADHD can affect dating(09:29) ADHD and “love bombing”(12:56) What is “screening”?(14:04) Masking in dating/The “marketing trap”(17:50) How to ask good questions(19:45) What to do when you realize your relationship might not be what you want(21:37) How can people with ADHD show up to be good partners?(23:42) When do we disclose that we have ADHD?(25:21) Trouble with time perception and texting(26:20) Trouble with impulse control and dating(27:30) Amie’s question suggestions(29:00) ADHD and oversharing(30:54) Amie on a dating timeline(33:10) ADHD and kink(34:24) Where you can find AmieTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Workplace relationships can be challenging for anyone. But for people with ADHD, trouble with working memory, self-control, emotions, and more can make professionalism even more confusing.Executive and ADHD coach Farah Jamil visits the show to clear up some common mysteries, like, how do I speak up for myself? And, what do I do when I’ve made a mistake? Listen for her answers, and some great tips to keep in your back pocket.  Related resourcesI’m having communication issues at work. What’s going on?Radical Candor by Kim ScottFarah’s websiteFarah’s LinkedInTimestamps(03:38) What does Farah do as an executive coach and ADHD coach?(06:57) Recognizing that it’s OK not to have all of the answers at work(09:40) How can ADHD affect collaboration in the workplace?(11:01) The What, the How, and the Why(13:03) How can ADHD affect communication in the workplace?(14:56) Feeling socially awkward at work(17:15) How to start identifying your needs(19:36) Conflict in the workplace(21:43) Communication strategies(25:28) How can we take ownership of our mistakes?(31:12) Fear of success(34:37) Where you can find FarahTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

When you have ADHD, it can affect every part of your life — even sex. ADHD impacts how we show up in relationships. And it can be easy to forget it’s with us in the bedroom too. ADHD sexpert and psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman visits the podcast this week to talk about the connection between ADHD and sex. Listen to this foundational episode as we set the scene to cover more in-depth topics on sex in future episodes. To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.Related resourcesSex, intimacy, and ADHD from ADHD Aha!Ari’s book, ADHD After DarkCome As You Are by Emily NagoskiTimestamps(03:45) Why is ADHD and sex an important topic?(07:24) What Ari learned from research for his book, ADHD After Dark(10:33) ADHD and responsibility (12:47) Avoiding a transactional sexual relationship(14:55) Intentionality and ADHD(17:39) What can we do to help?(25:10) Ari’s main takeaways(26:45) What do I do if me or my partner is really excited about sex, but one or the other of us struggles to remember it exists?(29:54) What do I do if I get distracted during sex?   Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Boundaries are limits based on our values — and a key part of good relationships. ADHD can come with low self-esteem and anxiety, which can get in the way of respecting your own boundaries in relationships. ADHD educator and marriage counselor Melissa Orlov explains what boundaries are and how ADHD comes into play. Plus, she offers tips on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.Related resourcesADHD in marriage: How it changed a relationship (Breon and Dan’s story)ADHD and trouble with personal boundaries in kidsMelissa’s website, adhdmarriage.comTimestamps(04:28) What is a boundary?(10:20) How do we figure out what our boundaries are?(14:51) People pleasing(20:45) How do we work on creating and evolving boundaries with a partner?(22:16) Top three things to know, and some activities to get started(24:42) Cate's Comment Corner Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give