Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

Children often make friends seamlessly; the settings in which they spend time, such as school, camp, and sports teams, naturally spur fast friendships. It can be harder to make new friends without those built-in mechanisms as an adult, but there are still plenty of ways to create new, enduring relationships. Adult friendships don’t happen automatically—they require intention, time, and effort. Take initiative by researching a local running group or inviting a coworker to coffee. Throughout the process of getting to know someone, affirm who they are by showing enthusiasm about their interests or complimenting them. Be consistent and reliable, so that the connection solidifies. Push yourself out of your comfort zone in small ways, such as by asking one question during a meeting or starting one conversation at a party. Reflecting on the discrepancy between how bad you thought past gatherings would be and how bad they actually were can help, too. These ideas and others can soothe the stress of being shy. Maintaining lifelong friendships provides deep fulfillment and meaning. A few key practices can ensure that those bonds don’t fade over time. Friendships require that both people invest time into the relationship, cultivate trust and honesty, and work through disagreements when they arise. Tune in and learn how to make real friends!

People often equate freedom with having a lot of control over things. We think we would rather be the boss who has control over other employees than the subordinate or follower who is under the control of the boss. Psychologists reinforce the idea that control is a good thing. Research on locus of control indicates that people with an internal locus of control (people who believe they are in control of the rewards they receive in life) are psychologically healthier and more successful than people with an external locus of control (people who believe their fate is in the hands of external, uncontrollable factors). Yet there is a downside to being in control when it involves trying to control other people, because other people don't want to be controlled by you any more than you want to be controlled by other people. In therapy, we often hear that if we do not like the way in which others are behaving, we are better off changing our own feelings about their behavior than trying to change their behavior. The reason for this is that behavioral habits are notoriously difficult to change, even when a person really wants to change his or her own habits; if people are not interested in changing their behavior, it is almost impossible to make them change. Tune in and lets do a deep dive on the need for control and power. The consequences are ourwhelming!

Procrastination reflects a struggle with self-control, and can lead to negative emotions and deter future effort. Procrastinators may prioritize avoiding judgment over tackling tasks. They may believe they perform better under pressure, but research shows it is generally not the case. Procrastination can have harmful effects on stress levels, well-being, and self-esteem. Strategies for overcoming procrastination include taking action, managing time effectively, and practicing self-compassion.

Many people confuse polyamory, polygamy, polygyny, and polyandry — and this confusion is unsurprising, considering that those terms are new to most of us! While these are all different relationship styles that involve more than two people, there are some key differences between them. In short, polyamory is the act of having intimate relationships with more than one person at the same time. A polyamorous person might have or might be open to having multiple romantic partners. Polygamy, on the other hand, involves being married to multiple partners.  Some polyamorous people are married and have partners outside of their marriage. However, polygamy exclusively describes relationships where people are married. Polyandry and polygyny are both forms of polygamy (in other words, they involve marriage too).Polyamory and polygamy might sound similar, but in practice, they’re quite different.  Polyamory and polygamy are both gender-neutral terms. They can refer to women having multiple partners of any gender, men having multiple partners of any gender, or nonbinary people having partners of any gender. Polygyny specifically refers to a man who has multiple wives. Polyandry refers to a woman who has multiple husbands.In practice, polygyny is far more common than polyandry.Tune in a figure out the pros and cons of both Polyamory and polygamy!

Many people feel trapped by aspects of their life: trapped in an unhappy relationship, at an unfulfilling job, or generally unhappy with their life despite their basic needs being met. The quest for the American dream has left them wanting, and more so, they are tied to ideas that are not providing happiness. Tune in a learn how to free yourself from your internal prison!

Many female psychopaths seek to destroy others however they can. A female psychopath may undermine your self-esteem using innuendo, or bully you and turn friends and family against you by poisoning your reputation behind your back. There is no end to what she might do to shatter your life. Many female psychopaths are pathological liars who are more cunning and manipulative than male psychopaths. The female psychopath desires to be the center of attention and demands center stage. Listen closely to her style of speech—how she also manages to play the victim. She may shed crocodile tears to play on your sympathy, and the next moment her tears can transform into raucous laughter. Her personality turns on and off like a neon sign. Tune in and learn how to spot them and deal with them!

The field of psychology is a big capitalist business, whether it is helping capitalists with advertising, finding new consumers, selling self-help books to an anxious public, or helping psychiatrists or counselors make a living off of people’s misery. There are six schools of psychology – psychoanalysis, behaviorism, humanistic psychology, cognitive psychology, physiological psychology and evolutionary psychology. While all these schools are different from each other, they all have in common they stripping individuals from their social and historical identity and either ignoring it, suppressing it or are unaware of it. They then present this isolated, alienated individual of capitalist society as ground zero, as normal.Tune in and figure out how socialism works and how it influences our individualism!

Often, narcissistic parents perceive the independence of their child as a threat. What distinguishes the narcissistic parent is a pervasive tendency to deny their child's independent selfhood. Biggest telltale signs of a narcissistic parent include emotional manipulation, lack of empathy, and neglect. Tune in a learn how to identify and deal with care-taking a narcissist parent!

Critical race theory (CRT), initially created as a body of legal theory, is an organizing framework useful in understanding human behavior and social processes relevant to racial group categorizations and racial stratification. Critical race theory examines the oppressive dynamics of society to inform individual, group, and social transformation. Rather than embracing a colorblind perspective, CRT places race at the center of the analysis and provides a critical perspective on how racial stratification continues to influence the lives of racial/ethnic minorities in the United States. In this context, color-blindness refers to the minimization or denial of a substantive role for race in the understanding of life outcomes for different racial groups. Critical race theory provides a framework consistent with multicultural psychology and is useful in the conceptualization and practice of counseling and psychotherapy in cross-cultural contexts. Mental health professionals working in cross-cultural contexts can use CRT to facilitate a deeper understanding of how racial stratification is manifested in everyday experience and the enduring role that race plays in the lives of individuals, families, and groups, as well as in the therapeutic process. Tune is and learn why this theory is so controversial. Also, how to understand the psychology behind it.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder in which people experience unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, images, or sensations (obsessions) and engage in behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) in response. Often a person with OCD carries out the compulsions to temporarily eliminate or reduce the impact of obsessions, and not performing them causes distress. OCD varies in severity, but if left untreated, it can limit one's ability to function at work, school, or home. Tune in and learn how OCD can occupy your life and prevent you from living!