Relearning Adult Friendship

Children often make friends seamlessly; the settings in which they spend time, such as school, camp, and sports teams, naturally spur fast friendships. It can be harder to make new friends without those built-in mechanisms as an adult, but there are still plenty of ways to create new, enduring relationships. Adult friendships don’t happen automatically—they require intention, time, and effort. Take initiative by researching a local running group or inviting a coworker to coffee. Throughout the process of getting to know someone, affirm who they are by showing enthusiasm about their interests or complimenting them. Be consistent and reliable, so that the connection solidifies. Push yourself out of your comfort zone in small ways, such as by asking one question during a meeting or starting one conversation at a party. Reflecting on the discrepancy between how bad you thought past gatherings would be and how bad they actually were can help, too. These ideas and others can soothe the stress of being shy. Maintaining lifelong friendships provides deep fulfillment and meaning. A few key practices can ensure that those bonds don’t fade over time. Friendships require that both people invest time into the relationship, cultivate trust and honesty, and work through disagreements when they arise. Tune in and learn how to make real friends!