Strong Men Strong Marriages

What does it mean to be codependent in marriage?For most of the guys I work with, they identify with a few things.They put aside their own wants and needs in favor of what their wife wants and needs.They avoid doing anything that might upset their wife (like going out with friends, disagreeing with her, confronting her about problematic behavior, etc).They are constantly focused on meeting their wife’s wants and needs.They lose themselves in this process, finding it hard to identify what they enjoy doing anymore. Or if they can identify it, they don’t do it (like sports, hobbies, etc).Eventually, they start becoming resentful because they realize they are doing a lot for their wife, but their wife isn’t doing much for them.And, this can build up to an explosion that surprises their wife. Their wife didn’t even know they were frustrated, because they haven’t been able to express the small things they’ve wanted and needed for many years. And they’ve said all along that “things are fine,” when really they weren’t.Fortunately, we can fix this.Codependency comes from not having a strong sense of self worth. It’s also often formed from feeling the need to manage a parents’ emotions (or drug or alcohol problems or emotional distance or abuse). To fix it, we reconnect with a sense of self worth that’s based in God. We let our wife manage her own emotions and needs while we manage our own emotions and needs. We let go of that responsibility. We treat our wife kindly because that’s who we want to be. We ask for what we want effectively. And we create a marriage that feels like we’re winning every day for both you and your wife.Learn more about how to do this in today’s episode:Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. MikeP.S.  If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create phenomenal mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

Do you wish that your wife would appreciate you more?Are you making the money for the family, taking a large amount of child care duties, cooking and cleaning…But your wife doesn’t appreciate all you’re doing? Or does she even become critical of the things you’re doing? Does she ask you do to even more, or give you negative feedback for the way you’re washing the dishes (or whatever the task might be)?This can be very frustrating. Why can’t she just see the good things you’re doing? Everyone else seems to be able to. You might even say things like “Why can’t you once in a while tell me the good things I’m doing!?”Unfortunately, this mindset will not help you get the appreciation you’re looking for.It’s part of the mosquito cycle. You’re doing nice things, but hoping for appreciation from her. When you don’t get it, you get upset. Then, you feel bad about getting upset and start doing nice things again.Instead of following this cycle, find the spiritual, mental and emotional strength to:-Appreciate and value yourself-Share appreciation-Ask for appreciation in a productive way by saying something like “I’m wanting to be a better husband. What am I doing now that you like?” And, if you’re emotionally strong enough, then ask for some positive feedback.Learn more about how to do this on today’s episode.Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. MikeP.S.  If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create phenomenal mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

If you’ve done something you know is wrong in your marriage, you might be thinking “I shouldn’t tell her because it might hurt her.”And it’s true. Telling her the truth will hurt her.But, continuing a lie will 100% keep you from having a great marriage.Great marriages are built on trust, communication and intimacy.Keeping a big, hurtful secret keeps trust out of the equation.It also limits communication, because you’re constantly on the lookout to make sure that your secret doesn’t come up. That limits mental and emotional intimacy.And when there’s low trust and superficial communication, sexual intimacy suffers.Telling the truth is hard. But there are some effective ways to do it.Give your wife a “warning shot.” Let her know something hard is coming.Tell her the whole truth.Let her have her emotional response.And manage your own thoughts and emotions well as she goes through her initial response and the grieving process as the weight of your mistakes “sinks in.”Learn more in today’s episode.Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast.Watch on YouTube here. Dr. MikeP.S.  If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create phenomenal mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

Where are you failing right now in your marriage?Are you breaking promises? Looking at porn or recovering from infidelity?Are you losing your temper?Are you having a hard time listening to your wife (or does she think you don’t listen)?Do you have a hard time expressing yourself, feeling like you’re walking on eggshells?Do you lack the sexual connection that you want in your marriage?Failure is part of every hero’s journey. It’s the failure that makes success even sweeter.The mental, emotional and sexual connection that you want with your wife CAN be yours.But, like Rocky and Apollo Creed, Luke Skywalker and Yoda, and Maverick and Ice Man… A guide can help you stop failing and start succeeding much faster.Learn more about how and when to use a guide in your journey to a better marriage in today’s episode.Watch on YouTube here. Dr. MikeP.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

You’re focused on becoming a better husband and father. You’re serving your wife, trying to listen, trying to do the five love languages… all of it.But, your wife still says things like “You’re making it about you.”This can be very frustrating, because you feel like your soul focus is on her!But, here’s the thing.If your goal is to be a better husband… that still is about you.What you want to try instead is to spend time each day getting into your wife’s shoes at a deep level.In particular, you want to try to understand her suffering. You want to have compassion. That’s what compassion is. To “suffer with.”As you do this, you will completely stop making it about you.Because if you are genuinely trying to experience the world as she experiences it…You have removed yourself from the equation. It’s not about you at all.I realized I hadn’t been doing this very well. My wife, however, does it often. And she has great relationships with the kids and her friends because of it.As I’ve implemented a daily practice of getting into her shoes and the kids shoes, and in particular trying to understand and feel their suffering…I’ve felt much closer to them and had inspiration on how to serve them better.It’s been very powerful and I wanted to share that practice with you today.It can’t be “about you” if you are really in your wife’s shoes (or your kids’ shoes).Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast. Watch on YouTube here. Dr. MikeP.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

If your wife has called you a narcissist, it can feel very hurtful.And you want to prove her wrong!So you go about telling her why you don’t really meet all the criteria.Which makes her even more sure that you are a narcissist.Instead, you need to:-Understand what narcissists are (get full criteria here)-Identify places where you ARE being narcissistic-Understand how those patterns of thinking, feeling and acting impact her (show empathy)-Change your patterns of thinking, feeling and acting to create REAL trust, communication and intimacy in your marriage-Get help to make those changes (a real narcissist thinks he can do it all on his own without help because he’s just that smart)Learn more in today’s episode:Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast.Watch on YouTube here.Dr. MikeP.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

Today I have a bonus episode for you.I’m talking with Chris Grainger about how we have the fruits of the Spirit in our marriage.We talk about Galatians 5:22-23, which reads:But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.We discuss how to develop these traits, and how to access God’s grace to be able to demonstrate them in marriage.Chris is the founder of The Lion Within. He has a podcast and community of Christian men who are working to build each other while following Christ.Enjoy this bonus episode!Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast.Watch on YouTube here.Dr. MikeP.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

I used to feel like I couldn’t speak my mind around my wife.I was worried that she might get upset with me. Or that she might not agree and we would never reach an agreement. This spanned across all the major issues in marriage for us. Money, sex, in-laws, parenting, religion, housework and how we spent our time.I would say “well, I guess I’m sacrificing for my wife,” then resent the “sacrifices” I was making.For various reasons, men often feel they can’t speak their minds around their wife. And it gets even worse if they have done something truly wrong, like been unfaithful.But, here’s the truth.Walking on eggshells, is, at its core, lying to your wife.You’re hiding what you are truly thinking and feeling.And because of that, you can’t have trust, real communication, or deep intimacy.To stop walking on eggshells, you really need to commit to one thing:Doing what you believe is right and good, even if your wife doesn’t agree or like itThis is called having courage, or strength, or in a more vulgar expression, balls. It’s called having balls because it is masculine and courageous to do what’s right when others don’t agree. And, while your wife may not like it at first, she will respect it later.To do what you believe is right and good even if your wife doesn’t agree or like it, it requires that you believe a few things:Your opinion is just as important as your wife’sShe’s in charge or her emotions, not youYou also need to develop communication skills so that you can ask for what you want clearly and effectively. You need to know how to understand her perspective, express yours, and get to win-wins.And, you need to figure out what you’ll do if those requests are not granted.These are the skills required to stop walking on eggshells and create a marriage of trust, communication and intimacy.Learn about them in today’s episode.Watch on YouTube here.Dr. MikeP.S. Ready to stop walking on eggshells once and for all? If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

A lot of men worry that it’s too late to change their marriage.Maybe they’ve tried couples counseling and it hasn’t worked.Maybe they’ve been married 20, 30, or even 40 years and it just seems like the old patterns are too set to change.Maybe they think that “it takes two to tango” and if their wife isn’t willing to change, then it’s hopeless.I can understand all of these thoughts.But, none of them will get you a better marriage.There are a lot of reasons that couples therapy doesn’t work. Up to 80% of couples are the same or worse off after couples counseling.Mainly, it doesn’t address the primary problem. Taking responsibility for changing your negative, unattractive patterns of thinking, feeling and acting and changing them.As far as being married 20, 30 or 40 years, the truth is that as long as you can think you can change your marriage. And couples married 30+ years are seeing major changes in a few short weeks by applying the right principles.And finally, if you’re waiting for your wife to change, you are paralyzing yourself and guaranteeing that you will not change anything.You need to take the LEAD to create a new marriage. Your wife will likely follow.Learn more in today’s episode.Listen to the full episode on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast.Watch on YouTube here.Dr. MikeP.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157

I used to think that it didn’t.  At least not for me. A guy who had an overall good upbringing.But, I recently did a hypnotherapy session with AJ Yager that changed my mind about this.And now, I’m implementing that learning with my clients with powerful results.Most high achieving me learned a certain lesson at some point:I need to take care of myself emotionally. No one else is going to. And, I have to take care of the emotions of people around me.And, I should stuff my emotions and get to work.Sometimes that lesson is learned through neglect as a child, sometimes through abuse, or drug or alcohol abuse by parents.Sometimes, that lesson is learned just by high expectations by parents or church or community, where you learn the lesson that to be loved and valued, you needed to achieve and be happy (or at least look happy).So, you learned to suck it up and get stuff done. And you have excelled at work because of this.But, at home, you are subconsciously reliant on your wife for the attention, appreciation and affection you wanted as a kid. The unconditional love that you wanted.So you’re needy with her. And you’re hard on your kids, because you are trying to enforce the same lesson of “just deal with it.”Fortunately, there’s a better way. You can mentally travel back in time and take care of that younger you. You can thank him for his service, and then let him be a kid and take care of him.You can access God’s power and Jesus’s power to let him know he’s OK and loved as he is.You can create a team that cares for that younger you. So now, you feel strong and solid at a very deep level. And you’re not as needy with your wife. And you’re a better father.Learn more in today’s episode, including details of my journey through this experience with AJ.Listen on the Strong Men Strong Marriages Podcast.Watch on YouTube here.Dr. MikeP.S. To check out AJ’s work click here. Let him know you heard about him from me!P.P.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who is ready to create incredible mental, emotional and sexual intimacy with your wife, and create an amazing legacy for your family to follow… starting TODAY…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call. I’m looking forward to speaking with you! P.S. Join our email list and get the training, How To Be More Attractive To Your Wife In The Next 7 Days, at StrongMen.io http://strongmen.ioP.P.S. Able to invest 5 figures and want to work more intensively with Dr. Mike and his team? Our Intensive Program is only open to a few men each month after a call with Dr. Mike.  Apply here. https://form.jotform.com/230614546765157