Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

Here is my list of the most challenging (and most helpful) accountability questions I’ve ever used.  I’ve used these questions with a number of different friends over the last decade. Answering these questions each week has made me a better husband, parent, and follower of Jesus. The Most Helpful Accountability Questions I’ve Ever Used 1. Have you spent daily time in the Scriptures and in prayer? 2. Have you had any flirtatious or lustful attitudes, tempting thoughts, or exposed yourself to any explicit materials which would not glorify God? 3. Have you been completely above reproach in your financial dealings? 4. Have you spent quality relationship time with family and friends? 5. Is Jesus being honored in the way you work and treat people at your work? 6. Have you told any half truths or outright lies, putting yourself in a better light to those around you? 7. Have you shared the Gospel with an unbeliever this week? 8. Have you taken care of your body through daily physical exercise and proper eating/sleeping habits? 9. Have you allowed any person or circumstance to rob you of your joy? 10. Have you lied to us on any of your answers today? Note – I have researched and found that these questions originate from Character That Counts-Who’s Counting Yours?: Growing Through Accountability by Pastor Rod Handley Follow Let’s Parent on Purpose on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose/ If you love Let’s Parent on Purpose, would you consider becoming a patron? Thank you so much for subscribing, rating, and reviewing.  

The single most transformative Habit you can learn is the routine for mastering new habits. Today I share with you what I’ve learned over the years in creating consistent disciplines in my own life, and how I work to help my family do the same. If you love Let’s Parent on Purpose, would you consider becoming a patron? Tweet this “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” @billgates Click To Tweet Success is nothing but a few simple disciplines repeated every day, while failure is nothing but a few simple errors repeated every day. @OfficialJimRohn Click To Tweet Show Highlights Why your brain LOVES habits Understanding the Habit Loop The Cue The Routine The Reward The value of immediate rewards in developing long term habits Why it’s so hard to stop a bad habit How Chocolate can help you lose weight The method I used to establish a regular routine of prayer and Bible Study before daylight every morning Resources Mentioned Understanding the Habit Loop This video will really help explain how habits work Bill Gates Jim Rohn The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Food Triggers

The Jesus Storybook Bible has become a happy tradition in my household.  Enjoy this reading from the opening chapter as you worship the King. If you enjoy the reading, check out The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones. If you need some good Christmas music, there’s nothing better than Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God Have a Merry Christmas, and celebrate all that God is and has done in your life!   Jay

For episode 100 I’ve invited my favorite person on earth to join me!  My wife Emily has a life that’s worthy of a book.  She married a widower, adopted his daughter, walked through the journey of childhood leukemia with her oldest son, fostered and adopted, and is in the midst of a daily battle for the healing of a mentally ill child.  Any one of these challenges could be the most difficult thing someone has ever faced, and yet Emily has walked through them all at the same time. You’ll be encouraged and strengthen by our very honest conversation about expectations, anxiety, feelings of failure, and seeking the presence of Jesus when it feels like your world is falling apart. If you you love Let’s Parent on Purpose and want to help support the show, please consider becoming a patron Show Highlights Understanding the hand of Jesus during singleness and loneliness Marrying a widower Adopting a child who has lost their mother Getting involved with the messy foster system The pain and hurt of losing children you thought would be in your family forever What it’s like to hear the diagnosis of Leukemia for one of your children Seeing the grace of God while your world falls apart The importance of community during crisis Walking through a childhood cancer battle and adoption journey at the same time Understanding and treating childhood mental illness Enjoying God’s grace in the ordinary things The futility of putting your hope in circumstances Battling to understand what God’s doing when He doesn’t make sense How to hold on to hope in the midst of crisis and chaos   Resources Mentioned There are a number of books that have profoundly helped or influenced me and Emily over these last few years.  I highly recommend the following: Renting Lacy: A Story Of America’s Prostituted Children (A Call to Action) Don’t Waste Your Life Hinds Feet in High Places The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma Parenting with Love and Logic Tortured for Christ

I re-named this podcast after releasing it from “Teaching your children how to be wealthy” as the title was throwing people off track.  Your children are already wealthy.  They just need perspective. Jesus speaks on the topic of money more than any other single topic in the gospels. As parents, we have the duty to train our children how to be wealthy, especially as you realize how wealthy we already are! Don’t think your wealthy?  Explore the Global Rich List with your family: http://www.globalrichlist.com Tweet This If you make $50,000 a year you are in the top 0.31% of wealthy people in the world! Check out your family at http://www.globalrichlist.com Click To Tweet We need to recognize that we are currently wealthy right now. The only way you're not wealthy is if you pick an absurdly small standard of comparison. The below average American is among the wealthiest people in the history of the… Click To Tweet No one is defined by their possessions. But it would be really nice to be defined by your generosity. https://bit.ly/2RD3B6F Click To Tweet Still looking for meaningful Christmas gift ideas?  Get my free ebook If you love this podcast, would you consider becoming a Patron? https://www.patreon.com/letsparentonpurpose   Show Highlights Ranking your family in comparison to the 7 billion people on earth Understanding how wealthy you already are through simple exercises in your home The danger of basing your happiness on “fairness” Jesus’ teaching about money in the sermon on the mount Teaching your children how to be wealthy Paul’s instruction to the rich in 1 Timothy Learning to feel empowered rather than guilty because of your possessions   17 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Resources Mentioned: World Vision Christmas Catalog https://donate.worldvision.org/giftcatalog Global Rich List http://www.globalrichlist.com The One Percent film by Jamie Johnson on Youtube The Sermon on the Mount Like this episode?  You might enjoy LPOP 65 How to Teach Contentment  

Leading your family in intentional study and worship feels so challenging, but it shouldn’t be.  Often the problem is that we’ve overcomplicated it. My good friend Shawn Bergen joins me today to share with all of us how he trained me to lead Family Worship in my own household.  You’ll be able to listen to this podcast and immediately apply the lessons learned tonight! You can do this! Tweet this: Get them a tutor... Find them a coach... Put them under a youth pastor... As a result, your job as a parent became more about driving the minivan and dropping them off to the institutions that train them - @visionaryfam Click To Tweet Failure is never final with the Father Click To Tweet Show highlights Our responsibility as parents is not to change our children, but to give room for the gospel to change them How to create the routine and habit of reading scripture and praying with their children Why dragging your children to church won’t fix their spiritual issues How to introduce Family Worship to your family Keeping it simple, appropriate, and interactive based on age and developmental level. Resources you can use for your family worship How often, how long, and what to do if you fail Family worship as a tool to share the gospel with friends and neighbors Resources Mentioned Family Worship by Donald S. Whitney (note, I HIGHLY recommend you get this book.  It’s short, simple, and profoundly helpful). Truth and Grace Memory Book The Jesus Storybook Bible The Radical Book for Kids: Exploring the Roots and Shoots of Faith Dangerous Journey: The Story of Pilgrim’s Progress Rob Rienow – https://visionaryfam.com

Today’s preteens are getting lost in the transition as they shift from childhood to adolescence.  During this unique time, they are not quite one thing and not quite another.  Author, speaker, and pastor Dan Scott gives us a fascinating glimpse into the rapidly changing world of a preteen.  Dan and I explore some of the insights I learned while reading his new book Caught In Between: Engage your preteens before they check out. Before (or after) listening, you can take this quiz to see how prepared you are to engage the world of preteens. Don’t forget, if you love Let’s Parent on Purpose and want to join a private parenting community, consider becoming a patron of the show at https://www.patreon.com/letsparentonpurpose You can enter a contest to win a free copy of Dan’s book if you tweet this by December 15: If you're wondering what's going on in the brain of your preteen, check out this book and podcast! https://amzn.to/2Q3uUd7 https://wp.me/p8bb8S-3aN @danscott77 #LPOP97 Click To Tweet   Tweet This My middle school daughter is one way with us, then a different way with another group. Is she a hypocrite? Who is she? https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet Little kids are like scientists. Teenagers are like engineers. https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet We live in an age of acceleration. There's more snapchat photos uploaded in 1 day than you could view in a lifetime. https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet You're growing into a parent who is friend. But right now your kids need a parent who is their parent. @danscott77 https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet Show Highlights An explanation of Dan’s Book Caught in Between:  Engage Your Preteens Before they Check Out Dan’s heart for preteens and how the church was missing his own daughter’s heart How parents are the primary shepherds of their children and the church’s role in supporting them The way a teenagers’ brain is most similar to a 3 year old brain and cognitive pruning Why young teens change personalities so often The stress of information overload and how social media overwhelms children Using different methods in your parental toolboxes for different situations Thinking like an artists, like a scientists, and like engineers – the stages of child development Understanding the social media and emotional stresses that are different for this generation Learning how to guide your children with and through technology in an age of acceleration Tips for parents to set the spiritual temperature of your home and making it the fun home Resources Mentioned Dan Scott’s Blog: http://danscottblog.com Dan Scott on Twitter: @danscott77 Circle from Disney Cognitive Pruning Think Orange Curriculum for churches Keeping up with Culture https://pluggedin.focusonthefamily.com/tag/culture-clips/

We’re entering the season filled with awe, wonder, gratitude, and dread.  It’s that time of year where we get to spend time with family we love.  Sometimes, we get to spend time with family who are easier to love at a distance. Let’s be honest, just because we grew up together doesn’t mean we now have the same worldview, parenting styles, standards, goals, or aspirations.   And sometimes we love every member of our family, and are mostly on the same page as them, but it’s just overwhelming when they all get together at once. Today I give you a handy guide to having less stress, more fun, and perhaps even eternally significant extended family gatherings this Thanksgiving and Christmas Steps Discussed Release yourself from the guilt of thinking you’re going to please everybody. Stop sabotaging the peace of all of the days leading up to your family gathering.   Make a plan.  Aim to stick with your plan.  Walk in grace when you cannot stick to your plan.  “How am I going to calendar these next few weeks with enough margin to not run ragged?” “How am I going to coach my children for some of the unsavory experiences they might encounter with our extended family?” “Knowing that I do not trust this particular person in my family, how am I going to make sure that my children are not left in vulnerable situations with them?” “How am I going to redirect conversations with grace when they go down gossipy or destructive pathways?” “How am I going to lovingly hold my boundaries when this particular family member tries to guilt or manipulate me?” “How am I going to love and support my spouse as they navigate the different people in their family?” Intentionally instill a time of personal worship and gratitude, for you and your immediate family.    Don’t miss the teaching and training opportunities in your own family.  Have honest conversations (without gossip or disparaging) with some of the struggles you’ve had in your family before.  Teach them how you’ve tried to love and also live in boundaries. Affirm their feelings if they don’t like some of their cousins.  Coach them on how to show love to hard people. Don’t go to your gatherings to “just get through them”, go seeking to be an instrument of grace. Bring your other family members in as best as you can on the plan.  If it’s dreadful for you, likely it’s dreadful for other family members.  Since you have some time, start talking about how you might intentionally make the time more meaningful as you’re together.  Maybe each family can put together a little photo video project of what happened over the last year.  Maybe you can plan a service project together.  Maybe as a family you can adopt a family in need and work together to provide for them. Think of ways you can be “others first” without feeling resentful and manipulated.  Don’t add to your spouse’s stress by guilting them over their family.   Pray for your family!   Tweet This No family is perfect. Every family needs grace. And most likely, you’re the cause of other family members’ anxiety too! Love well, be intentional, and have hope.Click To Tweet Resources Mentioned Bring Christmas to an Orphan by Sponsoring a Hopegivers Hope Chest Get your “Fun Family Conversations” ebook as well as your “meaningful Christmas Gift Idea” ebook Become a Patreon of this Podcast!

As a youth pastor, I am sad to say the modern version of youth ministry has failed to produce spiritually healthy, mature disciples of Jesus. Fortunately, there is a better way: Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-21 Thoughts to Ponder Just a few generations ago a man was considered spiritually responsible if he led his family before the throne of God in prayer, read and taught the Scriptures at home, and led family devotions (among other things).Today parents are considered responsible if they find the church with the best staffed nursery and the most up to date youth ministry. Voddie Baucham   In the late 1800’s there was a clear understanding that the call to disciple children and teenagers was the responsibility of parents and grandparents, and it was a role that could not be delegated to anyone else. During the 20th century, however, Christians began to more closely reflect the secular culture and adopted the model of delegation parenting. Do you want your kids to learn to play the piano? Get them a tutor.Want them to learn to play basketball? Find them a coach.Want them to learn about Jesus? Put them under a youth pastor.As a result, your job as a parent became more about driving the minivan and dropping them off at all the institutions that now train your children. Rob Rienow Tweet This Want them to learn to play basketball? Find them a coach.Want them to learn about Jesus? Put them under a youth pastor. As a result, your job as a parent became more about driving the minivan and dropping them off at all the…Click To Tweet Show Highlights Why I started this Podcast What it means to pastor your children Training your children with your words Training your children with your actions The role of the church in the family The role of the family in the church Resources Mentioned Family Worship by Donald S Whitney The Radical Book for Kids The Jesus Storybook Bible Rob Rienow on Visionary Family Voddie Baucham  

You wear a lot of hats in your life, and each of those roles has several demands.  Life can feel extremely defeating when you feel like you stay overly busy but accomplish very little. Today I talk about a question that brings incredible clarity to your life, and can help massively simplify your “to-do” list.  Listen as I share what I learned from this gem of a book: The One Thing: The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results by Gary Keller Show Highlights The 80/20 rule Learning to do fewer things for greater effect It’s not that we have too little tie to do all the things we need to do, it’s that we feel the need to do too many things in the time we have Task and responsibility creep Cultural clutter Learning to give the greatest effort and energy to the thing that matters most Looking at your “To-do” list and discerning the “could-do” and “should-do” items The One Clarifying Question Applying the One Thing question to your Personal life Physical health Family life Job My “One Thing” in each area:  Schedule; Food; Empower; & Create Tweet this What's the One Thing that I can do, such that, by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary? Gary KellerClick To Tweet We need to be doing fewer things with more effect rather than more things with side effects. Gary KellerClick To Tweet When everything feels urgent and important, everything seems equal. Activity is often unrelated to productivity, and busyness rarely takes care of business. Gary KellerClick To Tweet If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. Russian ProverbClick To Tweet Researchers estimate that workers are interrupted every 11 minutes and then spend almost a third of their day recovering from these distractions. Gary KellerClick To Tweet Resources Mentioned The 80/20 Rule The One Thing: The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results Gary Keller  Become a Patron of this Podcast You can help invest in making this podcast better while joining our brand new community of likeminded parents for discussion and encouragement a https://www.patreon.com/letsparentonpurpose Support the program for the cost of a cup of coffee each week to join our new parenting community. Support for the cost of a fancy cup of coffee to get a shout-out on the podcast. Invest at higher levels to help expand the reach and influence of Let’s Parent on Purpose across the country and world!