Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

Sometimes it seems like a cloud of negativity hangs over our household.  This week I share with you a simple change I made that helped change my perspective, as well as the reality, in my family. Show Highlights Realizing that I had become overly critical of those in my life Deciding to live like God gave me the gift of encouragement My resolution for the year: “Catch them doing good” Realizing that the vast majority of what my wife and children do is good Deciding to be the kind of person who sees and celebrates the good in others Why this is not just the power of positive thinking Understanding the concept of “What you feed will grow, what you starve will die” How Celebrating the Win can remove the need to address some negative behavior Tweet This A change in your perspective can change your reality. Click To Tweet Click To Tweet What you feed will grow, what you starve will die. Click To Tweet If you liked this, check out Episode 85 Learning to Celebrate Failure Episode 90 Small Investments Big Rewards  

How do you cultivate a culture of generosity in your family?  Father and son Brad and Drew Formsma join me today to share how generosity has become a way of life in their household. Along with his dad, Drew recently published the book  Everyday Generosity – becoming a generous family in a selfie world. Speaking of generosity, thank you so much to my Patreon supporters! As a token of gratitude, I’m sending a copy of Drew and Brad’s book Everyday Generosity to one of my patrons! Show Highlights How Uber drivers inspired 16 year old Drew to write Everyday Generosity Drew’s earliest memories of generosity in his mom and dad Brad explains the 7 ways a family can be generous Words Money Influence Attention Possessions Time Thoughts The power of a story Pre-planing for generosity by carrying around gift cards Getting your generosity antenna ready Have you ever thanked the person who cleans the airport bathroom? I share my son’s Chemo Orphan Challenge Story How parents can model generosity in a way that is contagious Learning that modeling generosity is a long process   Tweet This Generosity is simply seeing a need, accepting it, and living it out without any expectation of anything in return. @drewformsma Click To Tweet Generosity inspires generosity @bradformsma Click To Tweet Resources Mentioned Brad Formsma’s organization to inspire giving https://www.ilikegiving.com Brad’s book I Like Giving: The Transforming Power of a Generous Life http://www.bradformsma.com Drew Formsma on Instagram Drew Formsma on Twitter Brad Formsma on Twitter Brad Formsma on Instagram

There has been a major shift over the last several years in music and pop culture. Artists today are first brands, and then musicians. Social media, music streaming and youtube have radically changed music discovery, delivery, and influence. I have to be honest, I knew nothing about many of the top 10 Billboard artists of the year. My friend Patrick Farley is here to help educate us on which artists have cultural significance, trends in music and dance. If you find this valuable, please share it with others and consider supporting Let’s Parent on Purpose as a Patreon Tweet This Even if your children are homeschooled, if you're ever going to let them out of the house, you need to know the world they are swimming in. Click To Tweet Click To Tweet A face tattoo is a face tattoo. If you don't become a rapper who makes a million dollars, you're stuck with your face tattoo. Click To Tweet Click To Tweet Show Highlights A rundown of the top 10 Billboard artists of the year for 2018 The changing image of rappers and hip hop artists in the last 5 years “It’s not about making great music, it’s about having fun” A general understanding of Kpop Drake as a cultural influencer, including his negative impact The undertones of depression behind the glorification of recreational drugs Why you need to be aware of Post Malone The refreshing honesty and quality of Christian Hip Hop Deviant behavior promoted in the lyrics by those that culture labels “good guys” The country music genre’s obsession with alcohol Taylor Swift’s unique influence over Apple Music and Spotify The “catch me outside” girl launches a music career Resources Mentioned 2018 Billboard top 10 artists of the year Check out Plugged In to keep up to date on music, movies, and video games from a Christian perspective Christian Hip Hop Artists you should know Danielle Bregoli the “catch me outside girl” cashes in

We live in a world that seeks to define women by their bodies or their tasks. They are either commodities to be exploited or pawns in someone’s agenda.  As a father, this breaks my heart. As a pastor, I know it’s evil. Our daughters AND sons need a healthy vision of womanhood that is not tied to an ever-changing image of physical beauty. They also need to see how women are unique image-bearers of God far beyond the tasks they do-whether in the home or in the work force.  On this podcast I humbly present a definition rooted in God’s word for our ladies to aspire and our men to affirm. Thank you again to www.lovoso.com for sponsoring today’s podcast.  Check out their selection of hand crafted pens, made by young men who have been rescued from poverty and homelessness, now trained in the Gospel and with a job skill.  100% of the profits support orphan and widow care. Use the code “Parenting” to receive 10% off your order! Tweet This Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lionlooking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 Click To Tweet Click To Tweet Grace does not mean you're a doormat. Click To Tweet Show Highlights The pressure on females to look perfect in our social media culture Changing standards of beauty for women over time Why coming up with the definition for womanhood was much more difficult The danger of the church trying to define women by their domestic duties A simple definition: “You’re a woman. That means God made you graceful to heal others.” Rejecting Worldly Identity Expecting God’s Greater Reward Acting with Strength and Wisdom Loving Others Boldly Developing the habit of catching your children doing good Resources mentioned 1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lionlooking for someone to devour. Changing Standards of Beauty over time Men’s Fraternity by Robert Lewis Thank you to my Patrons!  If you find value in this program, would you consider supporting this podcast for the price of a cup of coffee each week?

What does it mean to be a man?  The answer to this question is as important as it’s ever been.  But in a post-truth culture, the answer is muddier than ever. Giving our young men and women a clear vision for manhood will ground them and give them purpose in a constant shifting culture. Today’s podcast does exactly that.  Starting with a simple definition to train our small children, I expand with Robert Lewis’ definition of a REAL Man to help guide our sons and daughters as they approach adulthood. Also, if you’re looking for a meaningful gift for a loved one, check out our sponsor Lovoso at https://www.lovoso.com.  They provide high quality handmade pens created by young men who are escaping cycles of poverty while learning a trade. 100% of the profits go to orphan and widow care.  Use the promo code “Parenting” to get a 10% discount on your order! Tweet This Click To Tweet Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is choosing to walk forward even in the presence of fear. Click To Tweet Show Highlights Why this topic is so important for your daughters as well as your sons Helping your children recognize the difference between a boy and adult Why we miss true cultural Rites of Passage and how your church can create one Rites of Passages for young men around the world Our Church’s 4 Part Rite of Passage A special family trip A special family dinner A special gift A church dinner with public affirmation and prayer A simple manhood definition: “You’re a man. That means God made you strong to take care of others.” Rejecting Passivity Expecting God’s Greater Reward Accepting Responsibility Leading Courageously Resources Mentioned Cultural Rites of Passage around the world Failure to Launch Men’s Fraternity by Robert Lewis Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis Consider being a Patron of Let’s Parent on Purpose!

Identity can be defined simply as “who a person is”. This simple definition belies how incredibly complicated identity can be for individuals, especially our growing children.  In a world of constantly changing morals and definitions, it is vital that we give our children solid footing to understand who they are and why they exist. Today’s podcast explores the reality that our greatest possible value comes from understanding our identity as the pinnacle of God’s creation, the only ones made in His image, and the object of his love, affection, and redemption. This is Part One of a three part series on equipping you to teach identity to your children. Please visit this week’s sponsor https://www.lovoso.com . Lovoso gives orphans job skills through woodworking and tailoring. Use the promo code “Parenting” to get 10% off of your order.  All profits go to care for and train orphans and widows in India. Tweet This What are the character qualities that describe a biblical man or woman? Click To Tweet Both men and women are created in the image of God. Every other identity is secondary to this. If you become the mayor, governor, or president, how does that compare to being the pinnacle of God's creation and object of His love &… Click To Tweet It's not the value of the material or paint that makes a painting, it's the worth of the artist. People are priceless because of our Creator. Click To Tweet You were made by the Master Creator, and YOU are the object of His love and redemption! Click To Tweet Show Highlights My annual list of truths and principles to teach teenagers at my church The difficulty of a culture with no true definition of adulthood or rite of passage to affirm arrival Why it’s not helpful to tell children anything in the world they want to be Why being made in the image of God should be our core identity How the value of any creation is tied to the preeminence of the creator What it means to be created in the image of God How humans are God’s ruling representatives on earth The danger of placing our identity in sports, arts, smarts, or gender Coaching your children on identity Resources mentioned The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis Genesis 1:26-17 Become a Patron of Let’s Parent on Purpose

Nearly 80 million people play the video game sensation Fortnite each month. Even if your children don’t play, they are talking about it, learning the dance moves. It’s not just a video game, it’s a cultural phenomenon.  Additionally, students are devouring content on youtube that you might not even realize exists. My good friend and top 5 finalist for Florida state teacher of the year Patrick Farley joins me to talk about his experience of Fortnite and Youtube among his students.  These are topics you absolutely need to be aware of as you raise children interacting with pop culture. Be sure to check out our affiliate sponsor https://www.lovoso.com.  Lovoso is a handcrafted wood company that trains orphans to have a hope for the future through shelter, education, spiritual mentoring, and job skills.  I’ve personally visited their home in India and met the students who were trained to make these hand crafted pens that help feed and clothe them. Use the code “Parenting” to get 10% off your order! In this podcast we discuss: The appeal of Fortnite A free game that can cost a lot of money Skins and avatars Old culture meets modern culture in the Fortnite dances Impulse buying with children and adults The new trend of watching people play video games on Youtube How watching youtube gamers is similar to watching sports on TV The danger of your child being someone else’s commodity online Parenting strategies to keep communication open when children find something inappropriate online Tweet This If your child senses a trap in your questioning of what they are doing, you are going to get the least amount of information possible, or a lie. Click To Tweet If you catch your child looking at something they shouldn't, especially the first time, don't assume deviant behavior. Assume a deviant world that doesn't care about your child. Click To Tweet You cannot protect your child from everything coming at them. You need a good defensive strategy. But more than that, you need a solid relationship. Click To Tweet Resources Mentioned Caught In Between: Engaging Your Preteens Before They Check Out by Dan Scott Here’s an excellent Fortnite Game Review by Plugged In The most popular gaming Youtube Stars Circle from Disney – This is a fantastic device for controling online consumtion in your house Patrick Farley’s Youtube Channel “Mr. Farley” Farley’s Instagram   

Here is my list of the most challenging (and most helpful) accountability questions I’ve ever used.  I’ve used these questions with a number of different friends over the last decade. Answering these questions each week has made me a better husband, parent, and follower of Jesus. The Most Helpful Accountability Questions I’ve Ever Used 1. Have you spent daily time in the Scriptures and in prayer? 2. Have you had any flirtatious or lustful attitudes, tempting thoughts, or exposed yourself to any explicit materials which would not glorify God? 3. Have you been completely above reproach in your financial dealings? 4. Have you spent quality relationship time with family and friends? 5. Is Jesus being honored in the way you work and treat people at your work? 6. Have you told any half truths or outright lies, putting yourself in a better light to those around you? 7. Have you shared the Gospel with an unbeliever this week? 8. Have you taken care of your body through daily physical exercise and proper eating/sleeping habits? 9. Have you allowed any person or circumstance to rob you of your joy? 10. Have you lied to us on any of your answers today? Note – I have researched and found that these questions originate from Character That Counts-Who’s Counting Yours?: Growing Through Accountability by Pastor Rod Handley Follow Let’s Parent on Purpose on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose/ If you love Let’s Parent on Purpose, would you consider becoming a patron? Thank you so much for subscribing, rating, and reviewing.  

The single most transformative Habit you can learn is the routine for mastering new habits. Today I share with you what I’ve learned over the years in creating consistent disciplines in my own life, and how I work to help my family do the same. If you love Let’s Parent on Purpose, would you consider becoming a patron? Tweet this “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” @billgates Click To Tweet Success is nothing but a few simple disciplines repeated every day, while failure is nothing but a few simple errors repeated every day. @OfficialJimRohn Click To Tweet Show Highlights Why your brain LOVES habits Understanding the Habit Loop The Cue The Routine The Reward The value of immediate rewards in developing long term habits Why it’s so hard to stop a bad habit How Chocolate can help you lose weight The method I used to establish a regular routine of prayer and Bible Study before daylight every morning Resources Mentioned Understanding the Habit Loop This video will really help explain how habits work Bill Gates Jim Rohn The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Food Triggers

The Jesus Storybook Bible has become a happy tradition in my household.  Enjoy this reading from the opening chapter as you worship the King. If you enjoy the reading, check out The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones. If you need some good Christmas music, there’s nothing better than Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God Have a Merry Christmas, and celebrate all that God is and has done in your life!   Jay