Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

What does it mean to be a man?  The answer to this question is as important as it’s ever been.  But in a post-truth culture, the answer is muddier than ever. Giving our young men and women a clear vision for manhood will ground them and give them purpose in a constant shifting culture. Today’s podcast does exactly that.  Starting with a simple definition to train our small children, I expand with Robert Lewis’ definition of a REAL Man to help guide our sons and daughters as they approach adulthood. Also, if you’re looking for a meaningful gift for a loved one, check out our sponsor Lovoso at https://www.lovoso.com.  They provide high quality handmade pens created by young men who are escaping cycles of poverty while learning a trade. 100% of the profits go to orphan and widow care.  Use the promo code “Parenting” to get a 10% discount on your order! Tweet This Click To Tweet Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is choosing to walk forward even in the presence of fear. Click To Tweet Show Highlights Why this topic is so important for your daughters as well as your sons Helping your children recognize the difference between a boy and adult Why we miss true cultural Rites of Passage and how your church can create one Rites of Passages for young men around the world Our Church’s 4 Part Rite of Passage A special family trip A special family dinner A special gift A church dinner with public affirmation and prayer A simple manhood definition: “You’re a man. That means God made you strong to take care of others.” Rejecting Passivity Expecting God’s Greater Reward Accepting Responsibility Leading Courageously Resources Mentioned Cultural Rites of Passage around the world Failure to Launch Men’s Fraternity by Robert Lewis Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis Consider being a Patron of Let’s Parent on Purpose!

Identity can be defined simply as “who a person is”. This simple definition belies how incredibly complicated identity can be for individuals, especially our growing children.  In a world of constantly changing morals and definitions, it is vital that we give our children solid footing to understand who they are and why they exist. Today’s podcast explores the reality that our greatest possible value comes from understanding our identity as the pinnacle of God’s creation, the only ones made in His image, and the object of his love, affection, and redemption. This is Part One of a three part series on equipping you to teach identity to your children. Please visit this week’s sponsor https://www.lovoso.com . Lovoso gives orphans job skills through woodworking and tailoring. Use the promo code “Parenting” to get 10% off of your order.  All profits go to care for and train orphans and widows in India. Tweet This What are the character qualities that describe a biblical man or woman? Click To Tweet Both men and women are created in the image of God. Every other identity is secondary to this. If you become the mayor, governor, or president, how does that compare to being the pinnacle of God's creation and object of His love &… Click To Tweet It's not the value of the material or paint that makes a painting, it's the worth of the artist. People are priceless because of our Creator. Click To Tweet You were made by the Master Creator, and YOU are the object of His love and redemption! Click To Tweet Show Highlights My annual list of truths and principles to teach teenagers at my church The difficulty of a culture with no true definition of adulthood or rite of passage to affirm arrival Why it’s not helpful to tell children anything in the world they want to be Why being made in the image of God should be our core identity How the value of any creation is tied to the preeminence of the creator What it means to be created in the image of God How humans are God’s ruling representatives on earth The danger of placing our identity in sports, arts, smarts, or gender Coaching your children on identity Resources mentioned The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis Genesis 1:26-17 Become a Patron of Let’s Parent on Purpose

Nearly 80 million people play the video game sensation Fortnite each month. Even if your children don’t play, they are talking about it, learning the dance moves. It’s not just a video game, it’s a cultural phenomenon.  Additionally, students are devouring content on youtube that you might not even realize exists. My good friend and top 5 finalist for Florida state teacher of the year Patrick Farley joins me to talk about his experience of Fortnite and Youtube among his students.  These are topics you absolutely need to be aware of as you raise children interacting with pop culture. Be sure to check out our affiliate sponsor https://www.lovoso.com.  Lovoso is a handcrafted wood company that trains orphans to have a hope for the future through shelter, education, spiritual mentoring, and job skills.  I’ve personally visited their home in India and met the students who were trained to make these hand crafted pens that help feed and clothe them. Use the code “Parenting” to get 10% off your order! In this podcast we discuss: The appeal of Fortnite A free game that can cost a lot of money Skins and avatars Old culture meets modern culture in the Fortnite dances Impulse buying with children and adults The new trend of watching people play video games on Youtube How watching youtube gamers is similar to watching sports on TV The danger of your child being someone else’s commodity online Parenting strategies to keep communication open when children find something inappropriate online Tweet This If your child senses a trap in your questioning of what they are doing, you are going to get the least amount of information possible, or a lie. Click To Tweet If you catch your child looking at something they shouldn't, especially the first time, don't assume deviant behavior. Assume a deviant world that doesn't care about your child. Click To Tweet You cannot protect your child from everything coming at them. You need a good defensive strategy. But more than that, you need a solid relationship. Click To Tweet Resources Mentioned Caught In Between: Engaging Your Preteens Before They Check Out by Dan Scott Here’s an excellent Fortnite Game Review by Plugged In The most popular gaming Youtube Stars Circle from Disney – This is a fantastic device for controling online consumtion in your house Patrick Farley’s Youtube Channel “Mr. Farley” Farley’s Instagram   

Here is my list of the most challenging (and most helpful) accountability questions I’ve ever used.  I’ve used these questions with a number of different friends over the last decade. Answering these questions each week has made me a better husband, parent, and follower of Jesus. The Most Helpful Accountability Questions I’ve Ever Used 1. Have you spent daily time in the Scriptures and in prayer? 2. Have you had any flirtatious or lustful attitudes, tempting thoughts, or exposed yourself to any explicit materials which would not glorify God? 3. Have you been completely above reproach in your financial dealings? 4. Have you spent quality relationship time with family and friends? 5. Is Jesus being honored in the way you work and treat people at your work? 6. Have you told any half truths or outright lies, putting yourself in a better light to those around you? 7. Have you shared the Gospel with an unbeliever this week? 8. Have you taken care of your body through daily physical exercise and proper eating/sleeping habits? 9. Have you allowed any person or circumstance to rob you of your joy? 10. Have you lied to us on any of your answers today? Note – I have researched and found that these questions originate from Character That Counts-Who’s Counting Yours?: Growing Through Accountability by Pastor Rod Handley Follow Let’s Parent on Purpose on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/letsparentonpurpose/ If you love Let’s Parent on Purpose, would you consider becoming a patron? Thank you so much for subscribing, rating, and reviewing.  

The single most transformative Habit you can learn is the routine for mastering new habits. Today I share with you what I’ve learned over the years in creating consistent disciplines in my own life, and how I work to help my family do the same. If you love Let’s Parent on Purpose, would you consider becoming a patron? Tweet this “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” @billgates Click To Tweet Success is nothing but a few simple disciplines repeated every day, while failure is nothing but a few simple errors repeated every day. @OfficialJimRohn Click To Tweet Show Highlights Why your brain LOVES habits Understanding the Habit Loop The Cue The Routine The Reward The value of immediate rewards in developing long term habits Why it’s so hard to stop a bad habit How Chocolate can help you lose weight The method I used to establish a regular routine of prayer and Bible Study before daylight every morning Resources Mentioned Understanding the Habit Loop This video will really help explain how habits work Bill Gates Jim Rohn The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Food Triggers

The Jesus Storybook Bible has become a happy tradition in my household.  Enjoy this reading from the opening chapter as you worship the King. If you enjoy the reading, check out The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones. If you need some good Christmas music, there’s nothing better than Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God Have a Merry Christmas, and celebrate all that God is and has done in your life!   Jay

For episode 100 I’ve invited my favorite person on earth to join me!  My wife Emily has a life that’s worthy of a book.  She married a widower, adopted his daughter, walked through the journey of childhood leukemia with her oldest son, fostered and adopted, and is in the midst of a daily battle for the healing of a mentally ill child.  Any one of these challenges could be the most difficult thing someone has ever faced, and yet Emily has walked through them all at the same time. You’ll be encouraged and strengthen by our very honest conversation about expectations, anxiety, feelings of failure, and seeking the presence of Jesus when it feels like your world is falling apart. If you you love Let’s Parent on Purpose and want to help support the show, please consider becoming a patron Show Highlights Understanding the hand of Jesus during singleness and loneliness Marrying a widower Adopting a child who has lost their mother Getting involved with the messy foster system The pain and hurt of losing children you thought would be in your family forever What it’s like to hear the diagnosis of Leukemia for one of your children Seeing the grace of God while your world falls apart The importance of community during crisis Walking through a childhood cancer battle and adoption journey at the same time Understanding and treating childhood mental illness Enjoying God’s grace in the ordinary things The futility of putting your hope in circumstances Battling to understand what God’s doing when He doesn’t make sense How to hold on to hope in the midst of crisis and chaos   Resources Mentioned There are a number of books that have profoundly helped or influenced me and Emily over these last few years.  I highly recommend the following: Renting Lacy: A Story Of America’s Prostituted Children (A Call to Action) Don’t Waste Your Life Hinds Feet in High Places The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma Parenting with Love and Logic Tortured for Christ

I re-named this podcast after releasing it from “Teaching your children how to be wealthy” as the title was throwing people off track.  Your children are already wealthy.  They just need perspective. Jesus speaks on the topic of money more than any other single topic in the gospels. As parents, we have the duty to train our children how to be wealthy, especially as you realize how wealthy we already are! Don’t think your wealthy?  Explore the Global Rich List with your family: http://www.globalrichlist.com Tweet This If you make $50,000 a year you are in the top 0.31% of wealthy people in the world! Check out your family at http://www.globalrichlist.com Click To Tweet We need to recognize that we are currently wealthy right now. The only way you're not wealthy is if you pick an absurdly small standard of comparison. The below average American is among the wealthiest people in the history of the… Click To Tweet No one is defined by their possessions. But it would be really nice to be defined by your generosity. https://bit.ly/2RD3B6F Click To Tweet Still looking for meaningful Christmas gift ideas?  Get my free ebook If you love this podcast, would you consider becoming a Patron? https://www.patreon.com/letsparentonpurpose   Show Highlights Ranking your family in comparison to the 7 billion people on earth Understanding how wealthy you already are through simple exercises in your home The danger of basing your happiness on “fairness” Jesus’ teaching about money in the sermon on the mount Teaching your children how to be wealthy Paul’s instruction to the rich in 1 Timothy Learning to feel empowered rather than guilty because of your possessions   17 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Resources Mentioned: World Vision Christmas Catalog https://donate.worldvision.org/giftcatalog Global Rich List http://www.globalrichlist.com The One Percent film by Jamie Johnson on Youtube The Sermon on the Mount Like this episode?  You might enjoy LPOP 65 How to Teach Contentment  

Leading your family in intentional study and worship feels so challenging, but it shouldn’t be.  Often the problem is that we’ve overcomplicated it. My good friend Shawn Bergen joins me today to share with all of us how he trained me to lead Family Worship in my own household.  You’ll be able to listen to this podcast and immediately apply the lessons learned tonight! You can do this! Tweet this: Get them a tutor... Find them a coach... Put them under a youth pastor... As a result, your job as a parent became more about driving the minivan and dropping them off to the institutions that train them - @visionaryfam Click To Tweet Failure is never final with the Father Click To Tweet Show highlights Our responsibility as parents is not to change our children, but to give room for the gospel to change them How to create the routine and habit of reading scripture and praying with their children Why dragging your children to church won’t fix their spiritual issues How to introduce Family Worship to your family Keeping it simple, appropriate, and interactive based on age and developmental level. Resources you can use for your family worship How often, how long, and what to do if you fail Family worship as a tool to share the gospel with friends and neighbors Resources Mentioned Family Worship by Donald S. Whitney (note, I HIGHLY recommend you get this book.  It’s short, simple, and profoundly helpful). Truth and Grace Memory Book The Jesus Storybook Bible The Radical Book for Kids: Exploring the Roots and Shoots of Faith Dangerous Journey: The Story of Pilgrim’s Progress Rob Rienow – https://visionaryfam.com

Today’s preteens are getting lost in the transition as they shift from childhood to adolescence.  During this unique time, they are not quite one thing and not quite another.  Author, speaker, and pastor Dan Scott gives us a fascinating glimpse into the rapidly changing world of a preteen.  Dan and I explore some of the insights I learned while reading his new book Caught In Between: Engage your preteens before they check out. Before (or after) listening, you can take this quiz to see how prepared you are to engage the world of preteens. Don’t forget, if you love Let’s Parent on Purpose and want to join a private parenting community, consider becoming a patron of the show at https://www.patreon.com/letsparentonpurpose You can enter a contest to win a free copy of Dan’s book if you tweet this by December 15: If you're wondering what's going on in the brain of your preteen, check out this book and podcast! https://amzn.to/2Q3uUd7 https://wp.me/p8bb8S-3aN @danscott77 #LPOP97 Click To Tweet   Tweet This My middle school daughter is one way with us, then a different way with another group. Is she a hypocrite? Who is she? https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet Little kids are like scientists. Teenagers are like engineers. https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet We live in an age of acceleration. There's more snapchat photos uploaded in 1 day than you could view in a lifetime. https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet You're growing into a parent who is friend. But right now your kids need a parent who is their parent. @danscott77 https://www.letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/11/13/dan-scott/ Click To Tweet Show Highlights An explanation of Dan’s Book Caught in Between:  Engage Your Preteens Before they Check Out Dan’s heart for preteens and how the church was missing his own daughter’s heart How parents are the primary shepherds of their children and the church’s role in supporting them The way a teenagers’ brain is most similar to a 3 year old brain and cognitive pruning Why young teens change personalities so often The stress of information overload and how social media overwhelms children Using different methods in your parental toolboxes for different situations Thinking like an artists, like a scientists, and like engineers – the stages of child development Understanding the social media and emotional stresses that are different for this generation Learning how to guide your children with and through technology in an age of acceleration Tips for parents to set the spiritual temperature of your home and making it the fun home Resources Mentioned Dan Scott’s Blog: http://danscottblog.com Dan Scott on Twitter: @danscott77 Circle from Disney Cognitive Pruning Think Orange Curriculum for churches Keeping up with Culture https://pluggedin.focusonthefamily.com/tag/culture-clips/