Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

In this episode of the Tilt Parenting Podcast, I have a powerful and thoughtful conversation with Dr. Barry Prizant, one of the world’s leading authorities on autism. Barry is recognized as an innovator of respectful, person- and family-centered approaches for individuals with autism and neurodevelopmental disabilities. He has more than forty years of experience as a scholar, researcher, and international consultant, and he’s an adjunct professor at Brown University, a certified speech-language pathologist and director of Childhood Communication Services, a private practice.Barry is also the author of the must-read book Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism, which suggests a major shift in our understanding of autism. Instead of classifying “autistic” behaviors as signs of pathology, he sees them as part of a range of strategies to cope with a world that feels chaotic and overwhelming. As you listen to our conversation, you’ll know exactly why I was so excited to bring Barry onto the show. He is at the forefront of the revolution in helping to change the way neurodiversity is perceived in the world and frankly I’m just so grateful there are people like him in the world doing this critical work. I hope you enjoy the episode. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: Barry’s personal story for how he came to be doing this work How things can change for autistic kids when we reframe and view their “behavior” through a new lens The relationship between trust and emotional regulation Barry’s perspective on the use of language such as “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” autism Why words like “oppositional” and “noncompliant” in relation to an autistic person’s behavior are usually completely off-mark The very real cost of pathologizing autism Barry’s powerful ideas for how he is trying to shift thinking around the way autism is perceived What should our goals be with regards to the long-term vision for our autistic children? The story behind Barry’s book Uniquely Human  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Barry Prizant’s website Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry Prizant The S.C.E.R.T.S. Model Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s been a little while since Margaret Webb, my absolute favorite parenting coach and the lead parenting coach in the Differently Wired Club, was on the show, but I’m so so so excited to have her one to talk about much anticipated book, Hero’s Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting. Margaret is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former elementary school teacher, wife, and mother of a now 20-year-old autistic son. I’ve personally experienced first-hand how deeply and profoundly Margaret’s approach can support parents raising neurodivergent kids, and so I’m truly thrilled that she’s making her insights and learning available to the rest of in her new book.While we couldn’t explore all the transformational concepts in Margaret’s new book, I did my best to touch upon some of the biggies, including the power in reframing parenting as a hero’s journey, how incorporating archetypes such as the queen/king, child, warrior, and community builder into our framework can provide valuable perspectives and tools for parenting, why recognizing and addressing shadow forces, such as limiting beliefs and unhelpful patterns, can lead to personal growth and more effective parenting. We also discussed why it’s so crucial to understand a child's developmental age in a given moment and how it can help parents tailor their approach and better meet their child's needs.And honestly, a lot more. This is one of those episodes you’ll probably want to listen to more than once. And then you’ll want to get Margaret’s book. It’s really that good. About Margaret WebbMargaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a now 20-year-old son with special needs. Things you'll learn: Parenting is a hero's journey, and it is important to approach it with curiosity, playfulness, and a willingness to learn and grow. How using archetypes, such as the queen/king, child, warrior, and community builder can provide valuable perspectives and tools for parenting. Recognizing and addressing shadow forces, such as limiting beliefs and unhelpful patterns, can lead to personal growth and more effective parenting. Understanding a child's developmental age in a given moment can help parents tailor their approach and better meet their child's needs.  Resources mentioned: Margaret Webb’s website Margaret on Facebook Margaret on Instagram Hero’s Journey in Parenting: Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting by Margaret Webb Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting, with Margaret Webb (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Margaret Webb on What to Do When Grandparents Don’t Understand Our Child (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Margaret Webb on How to Get Through the Most Difficult Moments With Our Kids (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Margaret Webb Shares Tools and Mindsets for Surviving the Summer Break (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Byron Katie’s The Work   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parenting coach Margaret Webb shares her best strategies for dealing with our children's intense and explosive behavior, both in the moment and in the aftermath. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are parenting a neurodivergent kid, you probably have a lot of experience getting feedback about your child — in IEP meetings, parent teacher conferences, therapists, neuropsychs, school counselors. And, so often this feedback is highlighting what’s hard or challenging and what needs to be improved, which, honestly, takes its toll on us and our kids. It can leave us feeling drained, discouraged, and overwhelmed.If you relate to this experience in any way, you’re going to appreciate today’s conversation with Dr. Jade Rivera, as she is going to talk with us about a new way she and her team are providing feedback with a completely different, and much more positive and optimistic, focus.Jade is the Lab Director for the new Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School, which uses the Suite of Tools, developed by twice-exceptional thought leaders Dr. Susan Baum and Dr. Robin Shader, to identify what a child likes, loves, and excels at. The goal of the Lab is to empower students, families, educators, and professionals in creating positive and collaborative learning experiences for children facing challenges in their educational environments.So today, Jade talks with us about her work and the Strength-Based Assessment Lab — what a strengths-based assessment is and how it’s conducted, what differentiates a strength and a talent, how to encourage our kids to pursue their interests without putting pressure on them to live up to our idea of potential. We also talked about how to get strength-based goals incorporated in IEPs and how to approach meetings when we are trying to shift the focus to our child’s strengths. About Dr. Jade RiveraAs the Lab Director for the Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School, Dr. Jade Rivera leads the Lab to empower students, families, educators, and professionals in creating positive and collaborative learning experiences for children facing challenges in their educational environments.With over fifteen years of experience, she has designed and led micro-schools beloved by quirky and sensitive children, uniquely positioning her to provide insights into positive niche construction, strength-based pedagogy, and talent development for neurodivergent children. Her training in Nonviolent Communication and Montessori credential inspire her educational philosophies and practices, including project-based learning, dual-differentiation strategies, and gradeless classrooms.In 2016, the California Association for the Gifted honored Jade for distinguished service on behalf of gifted and twice-exceptional children. More recently, she was recognized as a “person to watch in the 2e movement” by 2e News. She earned her Ed.D. at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in 2022. She is honored to continue as a professor at the same school, supporting others as they envision a strength-based world for neurodivergent humans. Things you'll learn: How the Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School gathers information from the child, caregivers, and professionals in the child's life to identify strengths, environmental obstacles, and dreams for the child's potential The difference between recognizing and supporting a gifted or twice-exceptional child's strengths and talents and placing pressure on them to reach a certain potential How parents and educators can incorporate a strengths-based approach in traditional school settings Ideas for including strength-based goals in IEPs Why it’s important to foster opportunities for a child to demonstrate what they love and what they're good at, even in small ways  Resources mentioned: The Strength-Based Assessment Lab at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Development Jade Rivera on Substack Susan Baum Robin Schader Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education Dr. Joseph Renzulli Sunnyside Micro-School Sandra Kay / Talent Development   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A frank and open conversation with sex education expert Amy Lang about the risks, impact of, and reality of kids' exposure to pornography. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are so many parenting styles — attachment, helicopter, positive, peaceful, authoritarian, authoritative, and on and on. And those of us parenting neurodivergent kids know there is no one-size-fits-all approach for navigating the day-to-day, even when our big picture goal is similar — to raise children who grow up to know themselves deeply and are prepared to live self-actualized lives, whatever that may look like for them.So I really loved learning about the focus of Dr. Emily Edlynn’s work on autonomy-supportive parenting, which she defines as “raising our children to understand their authentic selves, including developing self-respect, self-worth, behaving by values, the ability to self-govern, and feeling a sense of volition, or control over choices and actions.” She explains how to do this in her new book, Autonomy Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, and that’s what we get into in today’s show.During this conversation, we talk about the ways in which autonomy-supportive parenting nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness, which are actually the three needs that must be met according to self-determination theory, what “controlling parenting” is and how it can have negative effects on a child's well-being, and how to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a neurodivergent child or a child who is experiencing mental health challenges. We also discussed what keeps parents from adopting autonomy supportive parenting and how to navigate it when one’s partner isn’t on the same page in terms of parenting approach.About Dr. Emily EdlynnDr. Emily Edlynn is a clinical psychologist, author, mother of three, and co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. She pens the regular parenting advice column, Ask Your Mom, for Parents.com, has written for national outlets such as Washington Post, Scary Mommy, and Motherly, and has been featured as an expert across parenting articles in outlets such as the New York Times, CNN, and BBC. Emily works with children, teens, and families as the Director of Pediatric Behavioral Medicine at a private practice in Oak Park, IL. She lives in Oak Park with her endlessly supportive partner, three opinionated and charming children, and two rescue dogs. Emily’s new book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children is out now. Things you'll learn: Autonomy supportive parenting (ASP) is a science-based approach that nurtures a child's autonomy, competence, and relatedness What “controlling parenting” is and why it can have negative effects on a child's well-being How ASP can be applied to neurodivergent kids by providing external structure and scaffolding while still promoting their sense of agency How to balance autonomy support with appropriate support and intervention when parenting a child with mental health challenges What gets in the way of parents embracing ASP How to navigate it when one’s partner isn’t on the same page in terms of parenting approach  Resources mentioned: Dr, Emily Edlynn’s website Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children by Dr. Emily Edlynn Emily Edlynn’s free newsletter on Substack Emily on Instagram Emily on LinkedIn All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims Julie Lythcott-Haims on Helping Differently Wired Kids Launch (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn I Will Die on This Hill: Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

NPR Journalist Anya Kamenetz discusses her new book "The Art of Screen Time" as well as her takeaways on the latest research surrounding screen time and differently wired kids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Overwhelm, sadness, guilt, stress, and exhaustion are common experiences for parents raising neurodivergent children, and this is especially true when that child is navigating the complex landscape of also living with a serious or chronic illness. Unpredictability, financial strain, impact on the siblings, uncertainty about a child’s prognosis can all present significant challenges and lead to parental burnout.But according to my guest, Dr. Maureen Peteren, it’s possible for parents of chronically ill children to regain control of their lives and thrive at fulfillment. And she would know, as she has a distinct birds-eye view both as a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, she has spent her career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems and first-hand experience of being a parent of a child with long-term health issues.I asked Maureen, who is also the author of the book Reclaiming Life: A Guide For Parents of Chronically Ill Children, to talk with us about the ways in which managing chronic illness in children requires parents to navigate overwhelming emotions and advocate for their child's health, even when that advocacy can feel uncomfortable; how maintaining perspective and turning challenges into gifts can help parents cope with the emotional toll of parenting a child with a chronic illness, and the importance of open communication with children and involving siblings in the care process in order to foster understanding and support within the family.Whether your child has asthma, severe allergies, diabetes, or some other chronic health condition, Maureen’s guidance and coaching will give you practical strategies and reframes for finding more peace in your day-to-day lives. About Maureen Michele PetersenMaureen Michele Petersen, MD is an award-winning physician, life coach, author, and mom. As a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, she has spent her career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems. She is an accomplished life coach who helps parents of chronically ill children regain control of their lives and thrive at fulfillment. Maureen is the mother of three amazing children and has first-hand experience with being a parent of a child with long-term health issues. Things you'll learn from this episode How to navigate overwhelming emotions that come up due to the unpredictability and uncertainty that accompanies chronic illness in kids Strategies for maintaining perspective and turning challenges into gifts How to create a culture of open communication with other children / siblings in the care process in order to foster understanding and support within the family How to effectively advocate with healthcare providers by staying curious and engaged and being aware of emotions  Resources mentioned for Finding Peace in Parenting a Child with Chronic Illness Dr. Maureen Michele’s website Maureen on Instagram Maureen on Facebook Reclaiming Life: A Guide For Parents of Chronically Ill Children by Maureen Michele, MD   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author Melissa Wardy shares her personal story of discovering her children's anxiety disorder and adapting her life to support who they are. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’ve talked a lot about advocating for our children on the show, but today, we are adding the additional consideration of race to the conversation, because we know that families raising differently-wired kids of color experience additional roadblocks when it comes to getting support in all kinds of environments, fostering empowering neurodivergent identities and much more. My guests for this rich conversation are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral, authors of the brand new book Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color.They came to this big through their lived experience as neurodivergent moms raising neurodivergent kids in this intersection of race, identity, and disability. Jaya is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. And Priya is a play therapist and a parenting coach specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents.Parenting at the Intersections is a wonderful book, and I did my best to explore some of the concepts they thoughtfully write about, including how parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression, why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected, and the ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates. About Jaya RameshJaya Ramesh, MA LMHC, is a psychotherapist in private practice in the greater Seattle area, specializing in supporting BIPOC neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. She also supports organizations in creating an anti-racist culture in the workplace. About Priya SaaralPriya Saaral, MSW, LICSW, RPT-S is a neurodivergent mama, a play therapist, and a parenting coach in the Greater Seattle area, specializing in the emotional well-being of neurodivergent children and parents by helping them reconnect to their playful spirit amidst personal and structural adversity Things you'll learn: How parenting at the intersections involves navigating multiple marginalized identities and systems of oppression Why identity development is a complex process for children at the intersections, and how parents can create conditions for their kids to be seen and respected The ways in which advocating for kids in the education system requires awareness of rights, documentation, and support from organizations and advocates. How unschooling can be a form of resistance in the context of raising neurodivergent children of color. How parents who aren't raising children of color can still benefit from learning about the experiences and challenges faced by these families. Why community support is crucial in mitigating the loneliness and providing understanding for parents raising neurodivergent children of color.  Resources mentioned: Parenting at the Intersections: Raising Neurodivergent Children of Color by Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral Website for Parenting at the Intersections Parenting at the Intersections on Instagram Jaya on Instagram Priya on Instagram Jaya on Linkedin Cheryl Poe and Advocating 4Kids Akilah Richards on Unschooling and Raising Free People (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices