Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

A concept we have explored a lot on this show and in the Tilt community is AGENCY — and always in the context of how to scaffold and support our kids in developing agency or helping them have a bigger sense of control and autonomy in their lives.But guess what? We — the parents and caregivers in our kids' lives — we need agency too. And in this conversation, we’re going to be exploring how to expand our own sense of agency and personal choice so we can show up more intentionally to our daily lives as parents.And to talk with us all about this is Dr. Amy Hoyt, a mom of five children, three of whom are differently wired, and a specialist who has been working in the field of trauma for ten years, as a researcher of mass trauma and individual trauma. She is the founder of Mending Trauma, a digital mental health platform dedicated to helping women recover from trauma and PTSD, and is an author, podcaster and speaker passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency.During this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about what agency and choice look like in the context of parenting and how micro choices can help us develop an internal locus of control, which is critical for us to have. Amy also gave us a few short, easy practices we can do that will help us strengthen our sense of agency, as well as reset our nervous system, which for so many of is us in need of support, especially if we tend to operate in a more hypervigilant state due to stressors in our parenting lives.And because Amy is an expert in trauma, we actually begin our conversion by talking about how residual trauma in adults can be triggered by our parenting journey and how it might show up, especially when we’re raising differently wired kids and we may be differently wired ourselves.And on that note, a quick trigger warning – in the beginning of this conversation, Amy shares why working in trauma is something she felt called to do, and as part of that, talks about abuse she experienced as a child. So please take care of yourself if that’s a subject that is difficult for you. About Dr. Amy HoytDr. Amy Hoyt is a mom of five children, three who are differently abled.She is the founder of Mending Trauma, a digital mental health platform dedicated to helping women recover from trauma and cPTSD.Dr. Hoyt is certified in Traumatic Stress Studies by the Trauma Research Foundation. She has been working in the field of trauma for ten years, as a researcher of mass trauma (genocide and apartheid) and individual trauma. She is an author, podcaster and speaker and is passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency. Things you'll learn: What trauma is and how it can show up in our lives and bodies Where to start if you want to get to know and work to heal your own trauma What a physiological sigh is and how you can use it to reset your nervous system What agency is in the context of parenting, and why it’s so important to have What it means to be “in choice” in our parenting lives, and how micro choices can help develop an internal locus of control How agency and trauma are connected  Resources mentioned: Dr. Amy Hoyt’s website, Mending Trauma Mending Trauma on Instagram The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Health and Development in Young Children (National Institute of Health Study) Trauma Research Foundation The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk The 12 Steps Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana How Your Nervous System Works and Changes (The Huberman Lab podcast)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Becca Wertheim, a second-grade teacher at an inclusion school in North Carolina, talks about her experience as a teacher meeting the individual educational needs of a group of students with diverse learning styles, and her insight for parents who are looking for better support and communication with the teachers in their children’s lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I’m covering a topic that was suggested by a listener and, as soon as I read her email, I was like, Yes! And also, I can’t believe we haven’t done an episode on this yet!So… today we’re going to be talking about being a parent with ADHD who is parenting neurodivergent children. Because I know there are endless parenting responsibilities that rely heavily on having solid executive function skills or balancing an inordinate amount of demands and emotional labor, and I know that these same requirements are likely not super strengths for a parent with ADHD.This is where my guest today, Elaine Taylor-Klaus, found herself — stressed, overwhelmed, and struggling as a mom to three complex kids. When she initially shared with a psychiatrist how badly she was doing and asked if there might be something else going on, she was told, yes, it’s called being a mom.But Elaine pushed for answers, finally getting a diagnosis of ADHD when she was in her early 40s. That new identification, and the personal development journey it initiated, changed life for Elaine and her family in the best possible way.This is such a good conversation today, as we get into the many things parents with ADHD typically struggle with, how parents can best support themselves with the emotional and mental demands of parenting, and of course, we touch upon the many strengths of ADHD that can be leveraged to make a neuromixed family work better. I hope you enjoy it! About Elaine Taylor-KlausElaine Taylor-Klaus is a professional certified coach, parenting coach, writer, speaker and mother in an ADHD family of five. The Co-Founder of ImpactADHD, Elaine provides ADD Parent Support for managing "complex" kids with ADHD and other challenges. ImpactADHD’s coaching and training programs are dedicated to effectively support entire families by helping parents learn how to deal with a child with ADHD. Using online, group and personal coaching, as well as articles, blogs, forums and selected resources – all in an interactive format – ImpactADHD.com teaches parents to develop personalized strategic plans for themselves and their families. Through coaching with Elaine, and public presentations to schools and parent groups, parents are inspired to confidently raise successful, independent children. Elaine coaches parents, and teaches them how to use those skills to communicate more effectively with their kids. Elaine’s husband, David, is also her business partner in their shared company, Touchstone Coaching, which is the parent company for ImpactADHD and DTK Coaching. Things you'll learn: How receiving an ADHD diagnosis positively impacted Elaine’s parenting and family life The most common challenges facing parents with ADHD as they navigate parenting in general, and specifically in raising neurodivergent kids What helps parents the most in bridging the gap for their children when they are also struggling being a person with ADHD The strengths that come with ADHD and how they can be leveraged to support one’s life as a parent  Resources mentioned: Impact Parents The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety and More by Elaine Taylor-Klaus Special resources for Tilt Parenting listeners in ImpactParents Parenting with Impact Podcast Impact ADHD Resources for Parents Elaine Taylor-Klaus on LinkedIn Diane Demster   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Ellen Braaten describes slow processing speed in children — what it is and how it shows up—and gives her insights on how parents (and teachers) can best support kids for whom this is a challenge. She also gives us insight into her book, "Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this show, we’ve talked about the effect that the pandemic has had on our kids, we’ve talked about the youth mental health crisis, we’ve talked about the complexities of our kids developing their identity online. It’s clear that our kids are growing up in a time with unique challenges and very different from when we were kids and adolescents. So how can we help our children to truly thrive even in the face of so much disruption and uncertainty? My guest today, Stephanie Malia Krauss, is here to answer those questions and more. I enjoyed this conversation so much, and especially the thoughtfulness with which Stephanie explores how our kids are experiencing their childhood and what it takes for them to grow up healthy and whole. We explored mental health, hope, resilience, identity, and so much more. This is a must-listen to episode for anyone who has the privilege of being a safe adult in the life of any child, whether you're a parent, a teacher, a coach, amentor. I hope you enjoy our conversation. About Stephanie Malia KraussStephanie Malia Krauss is an educator, social worker, and leading voice on what kids need to thrive in times of crisis and change. She is the author of Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live, Learn, and Thrive and Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World. Stephanie’s work and writing have been featured on NPR, PBS, Insider, and more. Stephanie is also a senior fellow with the CERES Institute for Children & Youth at Boston University and Education Northwest. Things you'll learn: An overview of Stephanie’s new book Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live Why it's so critical that we consider determinators and demographics when we're thinking about how to support our kids What parents and adults in neurodivergent kids' lives need to know when it comes to prioritizing kids’ mental health What future forecasting is and how we can use it with our kids to reignite their hope and sense of agency What Stephanie defines as purpose and how can help our kids in identifying or capitalizing on a purpose they may already have within them How we can be an “identity-safe adult” for the children in our lives  Resources mentioned: Stephanie Malia Krauss’ website Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live, Learn, and Thrive and Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World by Stephanie Malia Krauss Whole Child, Whole Life website How We Can Prepare Differently Wired Children for an Uncharted Future, with Stephanie Malia Krauss (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World by Stephanie Krauss Heather Malin, Stanford University Laura Hernandez Stephanie on Twitter Stephanie on Instagram Stephanie on LinkedIn Tilt Parenting listeners can get 20% off their copy of Whole Child, Whole Life by going to Corwin.com and using the code SAVE20. For a signed bookplate, they can email proof of purchase to info@stephaniemaliakrauss.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is a special shared episode of the Mindful Parenting Podcast, hosted by Hunter Clarke-Fields, on the Tilt Parenting feed. In our hectic parenting lives it can become easy to lose track of what’s important and get bogged down by the stress of it all. Diana Hill, clinical psychologist talks to us about how Acceptance and commitment Therapy (ACT) can help us become more psychologically flexible and how that will help our parenting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m really happy to be bringing another conversation about PDA to the show, especially as awareness and understanding of this complex profile of autism is growing and more and more parents are looking for resources to navigate this especially challenging parenting journey. Oh, and in case you’re not familiar with PDA, it’s an acronym that technically stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, though many people who identify as PDAers prefer the words persistent desire for autonomy.My guest for today’s conversation is Casey Ehrlich. In our conversation, Casey sheds light on how to approach raising a child with PDA at different stages, explores the differences between PDA and ODD, considers how burnout manifests in someone with PDA, and explains how a child with a PDA profile might experience a loss of autonomy and equality on a daily basis. Casey also walks us through her framework for supporting families with PDA kids and what it takes to find peace and acceptance in showing up for a PDA child no matter what. About Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D.Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. is a coach and educator to parents raising PDA Autistic children and teens and is the founder of At Peace Parents and a podcast by the same name. She is also the co-founder of the PDA Parents community and podcast. Casey brings her background in social science, methodology, and research to take an objective and non-judgmental approach to supporting families.She is currently conducting empirical research on Pathological Demand Avoidance with a faculty member at the University of Michigan and is raising two sons, one of whom is PDA Autistic. Things you'll learn: What PDA is, and how it overlaps (if at all) with ODD How burnout manifests in someone with a PDA profile and the overlaps between PDA burnout and autistic burnout Why people with a PDA profile experience a loss of autonomy and equality when demands are placed on them How Casey helps parents raising kids with a PDA profile What low-demand parenting actually looks like in practice  Resources mentioned: Casey’s website, At Peace Parents At Peace Parents on Instagram At Peace Parents Podcast Free “Clarity” Masterclass Paradigm Shift Program Dr. Mona Delahooke Deconstructing Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Mona Delahooke blog) Dr. Dan Siegel Tina Payne Bryson A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy (Tilt Parenting podcast) Linda Murphy’s website Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways Dr. Melissa Neff on Pathological Demand Avoidance In Children (Tilt Parenting podcast) Polyvagal Theory Sensory Processing Disorder (Star Institute) Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (It’s Complicated!) (Tilt Parenting podcast) Amanda Diekman and Low Demand Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Debbie talks with family therapist and author of the new book "Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle" Neil Brown about the challenges of and strategies for raising differently-wired teens. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I know it can be incredibly powerful and transformational for parents raising differently wired kids to hear from neurodivergent adults about their lived experience. How did they feel as a child? What was it that helped them navigate feelings of inadequacy they may have internalized or the challenges of being a child who was misunderstood or whose gifts were overlooked? That’s why I’m so happy to share today’s conversation with Gil Gershoni, the founder and creative director of the branding firm Gershoni Creative, the creator of the Dyslexic Design Thinking methodology, and the host of the Dyslexic Design Thinking podcast. Gil’s big goal is to show the world that dyslexic thinkers can open new doors and innovate absolutely anything.I invited Gil to share his inspiring story of how, as a child, he shifted his relationship with his dyslexia so it became the key to his finding so much success in his creative work, as well as to help listeners better understand the link between dyslexia and creativity. In telling us about his journey and his perspectives on the gifts of neurodivergence, Gil also shares how parents can best support and show up for our dyslexic kids so they have the knowledge and confidence to leverage their unique brains.Gil is also the creator of a wonderful, empowering initiative called Dear Dyslexia: The Postcard Project, which invites dyslexics of all ages — from students to professionals — to depict their relationship with dyslexia on postcards using words and image, so I asked him to share with us the why behind that initiative and tell us how it’s helping dyslexics everywhere, especially kids, really lean into who they are.I really enjoyed having this sit down with Gil, someone who is very much on the frontlines of the paradigm shift we’re all a part of. Whether your child is dyslexic, has another learning disability, or is in any way neurodivergent, I hope this conversation feels supportive, inspirational, and motivating for you. About Gil GershoniGil Gershoni is the founder and creative director of the branding firm Gershoni Creative. He says that everything he does, he does dyslexic. Gil sees dyslexia as a hyper-ability. His goal is to show the world that dyslexic thinkers can open new doors and innovate anything.Along with Gershoni Creative, Gil created Dyslexic Design Thinking, a method that helps clients see new perspectives and tell the story of their brand. Gil also hosts Dyslexic Design Thinking, a podcast that explores the link between dyslexia and creativity. Through these outlets, Gil spotlights dyslexic thinkers and ideas. Things you'll learn: What made the difference in Gil’s life as being someone who ultimately embraced and leveraged the gifts of his dyslexic brain What Gil’s Dyslexic Design Thinking methodology is, and how it can be used to support creativity, problem solving, and more How Gil defines the gifts and “hyperabilities” of the dyslexic brain How Gil supports parents powerfully showing up for and advocating for their kids How Dear Dyslexia: the Postcard Project has help kids redefine their relationship with their dyslexia How parents can help their child to unlock their own potential  Resources mentioned: Dyslexic Design Thinking Dyslexic Design Thinking podcast Dear Dyslexia: The Postcard Project David Flink Jonathan Mooney 12-Year-Old Asher Talks with Social Movement Leader David Flink (Tilt Parenting Podcast) LD and ADHD Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Description of Gil’s talk about SXSW   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author Ann Douglas (Parenting Through the Storm) talks with Debbie about negative stigmas—why they exist, how they're perpetuated, what they do to us and our kids, and most importantly, what we can do to combat them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices