Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie talks with cultural changemaker, author, and entrepreneur Jess Weiner about how to become successful advocates to best support our differently-wired kids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Peter Shankman talks about his new book, Faster Than Normal: Turbocharge Your Focus, Productivity, and Success with the Secrets of the ADHD Brain, and his story of learning how to manage his ADHD and tap into the gifts that come along with the diagnosis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m happy to share a rich conversation with strategic parenting coach Heather Chauvin about the plight many mothers of neurodivergent kids find themselves in — prioritizing everyone else’s needs over their own and why it’s so critical that we get out of this pattern.This is a deeply personal topic for Heather. The way she describes it, by living in survival mode as a parent to her three kids, she was robbing herself of joy, robbing her kids of joy by not being a present parent, and robbing her loved ones of fulfilling relationships. And then in 2013, the universe got her attention when Heather was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Going through that unexpected journey pushed Heather to take a deeper stand for change and explore how cultural expectations sabotage our dreams. I wanted to bring Heather on the show for this conversation because I hear from so many mothers who are in various states of struggle in their parenting lives — pouring everything into their kids, running on fumes, sacrificing so much, putting incredible pressure on ourselves to do it all and do it well. Yet, as much as we love our kids and want to be their safe place, we can’t do that unless we are being that for ourselves first. During this conversation, we talked about what dying to be a good mother syndrome is and why so many mothers suffer from it, why trusting yourself can be the best ally in parenting, and how to approach choosing yourself when you think you don’t have time.Even though this episode is framed for mothers, it’s a good listen for anyone who is a caregiver, especially if you’ve been feeling like your energy is low or frantic, and that has become the norm.  About Heather ChauvinHeather Chauvin is a leadership coach who helps ‘successful’ women courageously and authentically live, work, and parent on their own terms.Heather started her career as a social worker helping adults understand children’s behavior. But it wasn’t until 2013 when a stage 4 cancer diagnosis pushed her to take a deeper stand for change, uncovering how cultural expectations sabotage our dreams. She has been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur, Real Simple Magazine, Mind Body Green, Google, and more.When Heather isn’t working, you will find her living out what she teaches which may include kayaking Alaska, snowboarding, hiking, or anything else that challenges what she believes is possible for herself (and inviting her children along the journey). Life is full of opportunities. It’s time to feel alive. Things you'll learn from this episode How motherhood and one’s priorities change as our kids get older How trusting in yourself and your intuition can be a powerful ally in motherhood What “dying to be a good mother syndrome” is and why so many mothers are living in that space How Heather helps moms take the first steps toward choosing themselves and what it actually looks like How to approach choosing yourself if you don’t think you have the time  Resources mentioned: Heather’s website and free gifts Dying to Be a Good Mother: How I Dropped the Guilt and Took Control of My Parenting and My Life by Heather Chauvin Heather on Instagram Heather’s Emotionally Uncomfortable podcast The Energetic Time Management Habit Challenge Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Video game researcher Dr. Rachel Kowert talks about the impact of video games in differently-wired kids' lives and busts some myths about the potential harms and benefits of gaming. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I get a lot of requests for different topics to cover on this show, and bullying is a theme that has come up multiple times. And understandably, since we know that children and teens with learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, are much more likely to experience bullying and social rejection. And we know that being on the receiving end of bullying can be traumatic and have long-lasting negative impacts.So I reached out to Ginger Whitson, an author, mental health professional, educator, and expert educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health and invited her to join me on the show. Because the concept of bullying evokes such strong feelings and likely a lot of misunderstanding about what even qualifies as bullying, that’s where I asked Ginger to start — what exactly IS bullying? And does the bullying today’s kids and teens experience look and feel different from back when we were in school? I mean, with the addition of technology, it just feels like a completely different ball game. I also asked Ginger to guide us on how we should best respond if our child tells us they’re being bullied, if there are ways we can “bully proof” our kids, and how we can preemptively prepare them so they feel they have a plan for dealing with negative behavior from other kids.In addition to her important work with children and her books, including Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Aged 5-11 to Cope with Bullying and The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Program Workbook, Ginger, whose work can be found under the name Signe Whitson, is also the C.O.O. of the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute, an international training program that helps adults turn problem situations into learning opportunities for young people who exhibit challenging behaviors. About Signe Whitson (Ginger)Signe Whitson (Ginger) is an author, educator, and mental health professional with 25 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and families. She is also the C.O.O. of the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute, an international training program that helps adults turn problem situations into learning opportunities for young people who exhibit challenging behaviors. Things you'll learn: What bullying looks like today, taking into consideration the technology our kids use and other changes society has gone through in past decades A definition of bullying and what’s at stake for a child experiencing bullying Essential strategies parents should follow if their child has been or is being bullied Characteristics or traits that make kids more likely to be bullied How to talk with kids who have a heightened sense of rejection about bullying and social rejection Ways to bully-proof our kids and resources we can share with them How we can all contribute to raising more empathetic kids  Resources mentioned: Signe Whitson’s website 8 Keys to End Bullying on Facebook 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools by Signe Whitson The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Book for Kids & Tweens: Worksheets, Quizzes, Games, & Skills for Putting the Keys Into Action by Signe Whitson How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively by Signe Whitson Odd Girl Out, Revised and Updated: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons Rosalind Wiseman Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman Dr. Robyn Silverman Explains How to Talk to Kids About Anything (Tilt Parenting podcast)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tia Smith shares her story of raising her twice-exceptional daughter (dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, processing issues, and giftedness) and found a way to chart a path that's allowed her daughter to thrive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your child ever seem disconnected to their body? Maybe they would completely forget to eat if you didn’t remind them because they never experience hunger, or they can play outdoors for hours in freezing weather but because they’re not really noticing how cold it is, they leave the hat, gloves, and coat at home. Or on the flip side, maybe your child is intensely connected? Maybe they experience such strong internal or external body sensations that it is hard for them to pay attention to anything else or it spikes their anxiety or triggers them into fight or flight mode?These are just a few examples of extremes and variances in interoception awareness, which is essentially the language of our bodies. And for most neurodivergent kids, interoception is a factor in their ability to hear or feel, pay attention, and ultimately respond to the messages their bodies are sending them at any given time.I wanted to explore this concept of interoception and differently wired kids more deeply for the show, so I reached out to Kelly Mahler, an occupational therapist who specializes in interoception and is a co-principal investigator in several research projects pertaining to topics such as interoception, self-regulation, trauma, and autism.Kelly answered my big questions about interoception, including how it relates to sensory processing differences or SPD, why it’s essential that we help our children get to know their bodies’ unique language, and the relationship between ADHD, autism, and interoception. We also talked about what happens in our kids’ brains when they increase their interoceptive awareness, and effective strategies for helping our kids develop in this area. About Kelly MahlerKelly Mahler OTD, OTR/L, earned a Doctorate in Occupational Therapy from Misericordia University, Dallas, PA. She has been an occupational therapist for 20 years, serving school-aged children and adults. Kelly is winner of multiple awards, including the 2020 American Occupational Therapy Association Emerging and Innovative Practice Award & a Mom’s Choice Gold Medal. She is an adjunct faculty member at Elizabethtown College, Elizabethtown, PA as well as at Misericordia University, Dallas, PA. Kelly is a co-principal investigator in several research projects pertaining to topics such as interoception, self-regulation, trauma & autism. Things you'll learn from this episode: What interoception is and how it relates to sensory processing differences What the spectrum of interoception awareness is and how extremes may manifest The relationship between ADHD, autism, and interoception challenges How to support a child with poor interoception awareness to become more tuned in to their body’s internal experience What happens in our brains when we start to increase our interoception awareness How to help older kids who’ve been on the receiving end of compliance-based strategies to reconnect with and trust their bodies  Resources mentioned: Kelly Mahler’s website Kelly on Instagram Interoception: The 8th Sensory System (Facebook group)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A conversation with the author of The Gift of Maybe, Allison Carmen, about what happens when parents raising differently-wired kids let go of their need for certainty and embrace the possibility of "maybe." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So we’ve talked about mindfulness on this show before, and if you’re in my Differently Wired Club, you know that mindfulness meditation is something I explore from time to time but really struggle with implementing in the way I think I’m supposed to. Like, I always feel like I’m doing it wrong or it’s just not for me.But as my guest today, Hunter Clarke-Fields, explains, there are many accessible ways to practice mindfulness, even for people like me who feel like they can’t, or don’t want to, slow down. And there’s just no disputing the powerful way that mindfulness can support us in helping us be more present, more grounded, more calm, more open, and more curious when navigating all the big, challenging stuff with our neurodivergent kids.During our conversation, Hunter demonstrates a few mindful techniques to regulate yourself when you need it that are very doable even if you only have 3 minutes — I’ve actually been doing them since we recorded this, and I’m still at it! Hunter also shared strategies to show our kids compassion when they are struggling and introduces us to what has become one of my most favorite positive self-talk phrases — “permission to be human” — as a reminder when we have less than brilliant parenting, or life, moments. She ended the conversation with a beautiful reflection on why it’s important to see our kids for who they are and be willing to be open to the changes that happen every day for them. About Hunter Clarke-FieldsHunter Clarke-Fields MSAE, E-RYT (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is a Mindfulness Mentor, Mindful Mama podcast host, mom, global speaker, and number 1 bestselling author of Raising Good Humans, as well as her most recent book, Raising Good Humans Every Day (Aug 1, 2023). Hunter has over 20 years of experience in meditation and yoga practices, and helps moms bring more calm and family cooperation into their daily lives. She is a Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, the creator of the Mindful Parenting Course and Teacher Training, and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide, including a recent trip to Egypt. Hunter presents talks on parenting, and is a certified teacher of Parent Effectiveness Training. In addition, Hunter coaches smart, accomplished, over-stressed individuals on how to cultivate mindfulness. Hunter is the mother of two active daughters, who challenge her every day to hone her craft! Her work has appeared in CNBC Make It, Parade, Motherhood Moment, The Hollywood Digest, along with on ABC Portland, NBC Milwaukee, CBS South Bend, Kansas Public Radio, and many podcasts. Things you'll learn from this episode: What we can learn about our values in moments of shame or discomfort when we don’t show up as the parent we want to be How Hunter uses the philosophy of “permission to be human” to show herself compassion and accept mistakes will happen What mindfulness is and what being a mindful parent means Ways to practice mindfulness that are not traditional meditations Strategies for showing our kids compassion when everyone (them, us) is struggling Why it’s essential that we see our children as they are in the present moment (and not how they were yesterday)  Resources mentioned: Hunter Clarke-Fields’ website Mindful Mama Mentor Raising Good Humans Every Day: 50 Simple Ways to Press Pause, Stay Present, and Connect with Your Kids by Hunter Clarke-Fields Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids by Hunter Clarke-Fields Raising Good Humans book website Mindful Parenting Podcast Mindful Mama Mentor on Instagram Mindful Mama Mentor on Facebook Hunter Clarke-Fields on LinkedIn Plum Village Tradition   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author and changemaker Courtney Macavinta (The Respect Institute) explains why differently-wired kids are especially vulnerable to the “school to prison pipeline,” and how we can make respect the status quo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices