TPP 367: Dr. Aliza Pressman on the 5 Principles of Parenting

I can’t tell you how many parenting books I’ve read, but I can tell you that sometimes when I finish reading a parenting book, I feel a sense of loss or stress or as if I'm somehow behind and need to backtrack to get things going in the right direction. So when I come across a book that feels supportive and accessible, I’m always happy to share it with you. And that is definitely the case with The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, the new book by friend of the pod Dr. Aliza Pressman.

I think what I love so much about Aliza’s work is that she compassionately reminds us that there’s no one “right” way to raise good humans. Instead, in her book she helps parents charge a manageable course for raising good humans that’s in alignment with our own values and our children’s unique temperaments. The five principles outlined in her book that she walks through with us in this conversation – Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair – can be used to get things right often enough, because there’s not getting a perfect score in parenting. Lots of great reminders in this conversation, and the one I appreciated the most is that even though what it takes to raise good humans may sound simple, that doesn't mean that it’s easy, or that it’s not going to feel messy. In fact, it’s most definitely going to feel messy, and that’s okay!

About Dr. Aliza Pressman

Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and the health care providers who care for them. Aliza is an assistant clinical professor in the Department of Pediatrics in the Division of Behavioral and Developmental Health at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital where she is cofounding director of The Mount Sinai Parenting Center. Aliza is also the host of the award-winning podcast, Raising Good Humans. She holds a BA from Dartmouth College, an MA in Risk, Resilience, and Prevention from the Department of Human Development at Teacher’s College and her PhD in developmental psychology from Columbia University Graduate School of Arts and Sciences. Aliza also holds a teaching certificate in mindfulness and meditation from The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley. Aliza is the mother of two teenagers.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• The definition of a 'good human' is subjective and varies from family to family
• The five principles of parenting are relationship, reflection, regulation, rules, and repair
• Resilience is an important aspect of parenting, especially for neurodivergent children
• The principles can be applied to various parenting situations, including sibling conflicts
• Parenting is supposed to be messy — there is no one-size-fits-all approach

Resources mentioned for the 5 Principles of Parenting

• Aliza Pressman’s website
• The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans by Dr. Aliza Pressman
• Aliza’s Raising Good Humans Podcast
• Aliza on Instagram
• Mount Sinai Parenting Center
• SeedingsGroup
• W. Thomas Boyce (Orchid Children)

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