Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

This week I bring back parent coach Margaret Webb, who offers advice for navigating a dynamic where grandparents and other extended family don’t understand our child. We talk about how to handle family who may not be as tolerant or understanding of who our kids are (or our reality in raising them) as we would like. So often big family events like weddings or graduations or holiday celebrations create situations where we’re expected to spend lots of time with family, but it might not look the way we, or they, expect. So what do we do in these scenarios? What are our responsibilities both to our children and to the family members hosting or attending these events? How can we best prep for these tricky situations? That’s what we’re covering in this episode. Margaret has a lot of experience supporting parents through this difficult dynamic, and in this episode she shares her best tips and strategies for taking care of ourselves and our children and making choices around family events that make the most sense for our reality.   About Margaret Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.   Things you’ll learn from this episode How “shoulding” from other parents can lead to a judgement shame spiral How to take care of yourself and the emotions that come up in challenging situations How to practice proactive problem solving around family events that are likely to be challenging The importance of being mindful of the time and energy we spend on other people How to play “dysfunctional bingo” Margaret’s best tips for parents navigating tricky dynamics with extended family, and handling grandparents who don’t understand our child Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this enlightening discussion, Dr. Sharon Saline, a clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD and neurodivergence, delves into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). She shares insights from her personal experience with RSD and the emotional turmoil it brings. The conversation covers how RSD manifests in childhood, its ties to social anxiety, and cognitive distortions that exacerbate feelings of shame. Dr. Saline offers practical strategies for parents to nurture resilience in their children and emphasizes the importance of self-compassion in navigating rejection.

Kate McNulty, a licensed clinical social worker and autistic advocate, shares her journey of discovering her autism through her child's questions. She explores the complexities of mixed-neurotype relationships, discussing common challenges like misinterpreted behaviors and the shifts in dynamics post-dating. Kate also offers therapeutic strategies to enhance connection and emphasizes the importance of preparing neurodivergent kids for healthy relationships. Her insights on fostering appreciation and communication in partnerships are both enlightening and empowering.

Lynn Lyons, a seasoned psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, explores the nuances of anxiety in families, highlighting its impact on children's independence. She reveals how generational worry shapes parenting styles and discusses practical strategies to shift from worry to courage. Lynn emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between shyness and temperament, and she offers insights on early signs of anxiety. With a focus on building resilience, she encourages parents to embrace discomfort and support their kids in navigating anxiety with confidence.

Kanesha Baynard, a life coach and educator specializing in multigenerational family dynamics, shares her insights on navigating relationships with parents and in-laws. She discusses the challenges of shifting roles, setting boundaries, and differing parenting styles. Kanesha introduces the PAL system for effective communication, emphasizes the importance of annual family check-ins, and suggests inviting grandparents to learn together. Her practical strategies aim to foster harmony in family dynamics, helping parents gain support and understanding from their families.

Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, the dynamic duo behind the book This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained and the co-hosts of The Puberty Podcast, were on the show a few years ago when their book was first published, and so I was eager to have them back on for a deeper conversation about the often awkward but incredibly important stage of growing up called puberty and how parents can better support their kids through it, especially when neurodivergence adds an extra layer of complexity. In our conversation, we dive into the early onset of puberty, what’s new in the updated paperback edition of This Is So Awkward, and their vision for a more comprehensive, affirming approach to health education. We also talk about the unique challenges for parents of neurodivergent kids and why all of us—parents, educators, and communities—need better tools and language to support young people through this pivotal time. Ultimately, we’re talking about whole child development. Because every child no matter their age, race, socio economic status, brain wiring, will go through this stage of life. And as it turns out, what all kids need to emerge more seen and whole is the same thing. About Cara Natterson, MD Cara Natterson, MD, is a pediatrician, consultant, and New York Times bestselling author. She’s also the co-founder and CEO of Order of Magnitude, a company dedicated to flipping puberty positive. Cara’s books focus largely on puberty — some written for the kids going through it, and others for the adults helping them along the way. Her list of titles includes The Care and Keeping of You series with more than 7 million copies in print. While this reach is incredible, the written word is only one way to transform the experience of adolescence. About Vanessa Kroll Bennett Vanessa Kroll Bennett is a puberty educator and writer, a podcaster, and entrepreneur who helps adults navigate uncertainty while they support the kids they love. Vanessa is the co-host of The Puberty Podcast which is exactly what it sounds like and the founder of Dynamo Girl, a company focused on building kids’ self-esteem through sports, puberty education and parent workshops. Vanessa consults with organizations, large and small, on how to authentically engage children in their communities.  Things you'll learn from this episode  How the average age of puberty is shifting earlier, beginning as young as 8 to 10 years old Why parents and educators need reliable, science-based information to navigate early puberty confidently How neurodivergent children may experience puberty differently and benefit from tailored support Why it’s essential to include boys in open, ongoing conversations about puberty and development How empowering children with knowledge and advocacy can positively shape their growth and self-understanding Why collaboration between parents, educators, and experts leads to stronger, more inclusive health education Resources mentioned This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained by Cara Natterson, MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett Dr. Cara Natterson’s website, the Worry-Proof MD This is So Awkward Dynamo Girl (Vanessa Bennett’s website) Uncertain Parenting Newsletter Less Awkward on Instagram Vanessa on Instagram The Order of Magnitude Oomla The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls by Cara Natterson Decoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons by Cara Natterson What You Need to Know About Modern-Day Puberty, with Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll Bennett (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Sex Education and Our Differently Wired Kids, with Amy Lang (Tilt Parenting podcast) Sex Educator Amy Lang Talks About Kids and Pornography (Tilt Parenting podcast) Amy Lang on How Having “The Talk” Can Help Keep Your Kids Safe Online (Tilt Parenting podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Academic coach and author of The Disintegrating Student, Jeannine Jannot, Ph.D., shares insights on why previously high performing students might fall apart and offers strategies for building skills and resilience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rebecca Duffus, an experienced advisory teacher and author, joins Lyric Rivera, an autistic self-advocate and consultant, to discuss the essential topic of autistic identity development. They explore the importance of starting identity conversations early and the impact of education systems in the UK and US. The duo suggests practical strategies for engaging reluctant children and warns about the overuse of the 'superpower' narrative. Listeners learn how to effectively use their workbook while emphasizing the significance of ongoing, affirming dialogues around identity.

Seth Perler, an executive-functioning and education coach, helps families support differently-wired kids facing resistance. He defines resistance and its core features, such as procrastination and overwhelm. They discuss why resistance terrifies parents and common areas of resistance, like schoolwork. Seth critiques typical motivational tactics and shares cognitive tools to help kids reframe their thoughts. Techniques like incremental goals, mindfulness, and integrating passions into tasks are emphasized to foster ownership and reduce resistance.

Dr. Tamar E. Chansky, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety, shares her deep insights on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in children. She discusses the evolution of OCD awareness and how families can navigate the complexities of intrusive thoughts. Dr. Chansky introduces her five-step approach for helping children manage OCD, emphasizing the importance of understanding the distinction between typical anxiety and OCD. With hope and compassion, she provides practical advice for parents to support their children.