Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Seth Perler, an executive functioning coach, shares his expertise on nurturing essential skills in children. He discusses the importance of prioritizing relationships over tasks, emphasizing that kids often struggle not out of defiance but due to skill gaps. Seth highlights the need for mindfulness and emotional regulation for effective learning. He advocates for a growth mindset, the significance of scaffolding tasks, and the power of co-regulation. Finally, he stresses the importance of self-care for parents to model personal growth for their children.

Today we’re exploring EMDR—Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing—a therapeutic approach that’s been shown to be highly effective in treating trauma, including for neurodivergent individuals. My guest is Dr. Naomi Fisher, a clinical psychologist who specializes in trauma, autism, and alternative education, and an expert in EMDR. Naomi will share her journey into EMDR and explains not just the mechanics of how it works, but also what actually happens in a session. We talk about the importance of understanding trauma in children, particularly those who are neurodivergent, and why flexibility and attunement are so essential for therapists in creating a truly supportive environment. About Dr. Naomi Fisher Dr. Naomi Fisher is a clinical psychologist who specialises in trauma, autism and alternative education. She is the author of several books including When the Naughty Step Makes Things Worse and the Teenager’s Guide to Burnout. She runs webinars for parents and more of her work can be found at www.naomifisher.co.uk Things you'll learn from this episode How EMDR combines emotionally activated memories with bilateral stimulation to help process trauma Why trauma can get “stuck” and how EMDR supports the brain’s natural healing process How EMDR can be effective for both adults and children when delivered in a safe, supportive environment Why neurodivergent individuals may have unique trauma responses that require flexibility in therapy How parents can play an important role in helping children make sense of traumatic experiences Why choosing accredited, well-trained therapists is critical for safe and effective EMDR treatment Resources mentioned Dr. Naomi Fisher’s website Naomi Fisher on Substack A Different Way to Learn by Naomi Fisher Changing Our Minds: How Children Can Take Control of Their Own Learning by Naomi Fisher What Can We Do When School’s Not Working: An Illustrated Handbook for Professionals by Naomi Fisher Dr. Robyn Koslowitz on Post-Traumatic Parenting (Full-Tilt Parenting podcast) EMDR UK Association EMDR Institute Francine Shapiro, PhD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, we’re talking about such a pressing consideration for anyone raising a kid these days — what it means for today’s generation of kids to grow up with very public lives and coming of age in a digital world where so many aspects of their lives are online and available for public consumption, not to mention that much of their important work of identity formation is being shaped by the media and technology they interact with. My guest, Devorah Heitner, gets into all of this in her brand new and essential book for any parent, Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World. For this conversation, I asked Devorah to talk us through what I see as some of the more pressing issues for parents like us, including how to balance a child’s right to privacy in their texts and online lives with valid concerns about online influences and engagement when that child is dealing with anxiety, depression or other mental health disorder, the impact of social media on kids who may already be struggling to fit in and find their people, and how many homework and grading apps used by schools may actually be undermining our kids development of executive function skills and creating additional stress for parents.   Things you'll learn How to navigate the transition from being highly involved in a children’s tech life to respecting their privacy Why violating our kids’ trust by reading their texts will drive them further apart from us What to track or monitor when your child is dealing with anxiety, depression, or other mental health disorders How engaging in social media may impact kids who are struggling to fit in and find their people Why social media can act as an intensifier for whatever kids are experiencing and how it causes a dip in self-esteem What sharenting is and how to navigate permissions, cleaning up past shares, and more Why apps like ClassDojo are particularly challenging for families with differently-wired students How grading apps often work against differently wired students Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re talking about one of my favorite topics — what it really means to connect, collaborate, and let go of control as our kids grow into themselves as they enter the transformative teen years. My guest is Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and parent coach who helps overwhelmed parents raise confident, emotionally healthy kids and teens, and the author of the brand new book, Love the Teen You Have: A Practical Guide to Transforming Conflict Into Connection. In our conversation, Ann-Louise shares insights from her book and offers a powerful reframing of what it means to parent through the teen years. We talk about shifting from control to curiosity—especially when raising neurodivergent kids—along with individuation, cognitive dissonance, and why living a fulfilling life as a parent is one of the best ways to model healthy behaviors for our teens. She also reminds us that it’s never too late to repair, reconnect, and love the teen we have right now. About Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart is a pediatric psychologist, parent coach, speaker, and author who helps overwhelmed parents raise confident, emotionally healthy kids and teens. As the founder of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, she empowers families to move from chaos to connection using practical tools rooted in clinical expertise and real-life parenting. She is the author of an upcoming book launching October 28, 2025 titled, Love the Teen You Have: A Practical Guide to Transforming Conflict Into Connection. She has been featured in The New York Times, Parents, HuffPost, and on The Today Show. Her dynamic, relatable style has made her a trusted voice for parents nationwide. Things you'll learn from this episode Why it’s never too late to repair and rebuild connection with your teen How curiosity helps parents better understand what’s really driving their teen’s behavior Why focusing on connection over control leads to stronger, more trusting relationships How individuation is a healthy and necessary part of adolescence for both teens and parents Why modeling a fulfilling, authentic life can positively influence your child’s growth How resetting expectations and embracing collaboration can transform communication and repair past ruptures Resources mentioned Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart’s author website Love the Teen You Have: A Practical Guide to Transforming Conflict Into Connection by Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart A New Day Pediatric Psychology (Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart’s practice) Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart on Instagram Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart on Facebook Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart’s YouTube channel Chris Voss & The Art of Negotiation (Masterclass) Lighthouse Parenting: Raising your Child with Loving Guidance for an Enduring Bond by Dr. Ken Ginsburg Maggie Dent on How to Parent, Love & Support Today’s Teens (Full-Tilt Parenting) Education Leader Chris Balme on Navigating the Tricky Middle School Years (Full-Tilt Parenting) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many of our kids spend a LOT of time engaging on screens and with technology, and I don’t know about you, but for me it feels like this is an ever-changing, and fast-changing landscape, and one that can be hard to stay on top of. Whether we’re talking about assistive technology, videos, games, or social media, these forms of media continue to offer new ways of interacting, developing relationships, and even exploring identity, and this has added to the complexity of raising neurodivergent kiddos. So I invited Dr. Meryl Alper, a researcher on the social and cultural implications of communication technologies with a focus on disability, digital media, and children and families’ tech use to join me to talk about how we should be thinking about our kids’ relationship with screens and tech. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is education leader and author Chris Balme, here to talk about his brand-new book Challenge Accepted: 50 Adventures to Make Middle School Awesome. In it, Chris gives middle schoolers themselves the tools to turn the ups and downs of adolescence into an adventure filled with meaning, growth, and connection. In our conversation, Chris shares why adventure and healthy risk-taking are so powerful during the middle school years, how parents can support their kids’ self-efficacy and independence, and what this can look like for neurodivergent learners. We also talk about the parallel journeys parents and kids go through during this stage, and how leaning into growth together can make middle school not just manageable, but truly awesome.   About Chris Balme Chris Balme is an education leader, writer, and speaker. He’s endlessly curious about how we can raise wise, loving, and capable adolescents. Chris has co-founded and led two innovative schools, written a best-selling book called Finding the Magic in Middle School, and regularly speaks to and trains teachers and parents around the world. His new book, Challenge Accepted: 50 Adventures to Make Middle School Awesome, gives the keys to middle schoolers themselves, to turn the wild ride of adolescence into an adventure full of meaning and connection. Chris currently serves as Co-Principal of Hakuba International School, and as director of Argonaut, an online advisory program for middle schoolers from around the world. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife and three children. Things you'll learn from this episode   How middle schoolers are far more capable than they’re often given credit for Why choice, authorship, and experiential learning are critical for building self-efficacy in adolescents How shifting from being the “boss” to being a guide helps parents support their child’s growth Why healthy risks and self-directed challenges are especially important for neurodivergent kids How parents can act as mirrors for their children’s experiences while growing themselves in the process Why creating supportive environments and offering practical adventures, like those in Challenge Accepted, helps middle schoolers thrive Resources mentioned Chris Balme’s website Challenge Accepted: 50 Adventures to Make Middle School Awesome by Chris Balme Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years by Chris Balme Chris’s Substack Chris on Instagram The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is an important conversation about online communities and internet rabbit holes. And I felt pulled to tackle this topic for the show because I know that the past few years in particularly has been a time where differently wired kids have beenspending a LOT more time online and connecting with people they may not have even meant in real life and doing their identity development largely online. And I also know that this can put our kids, and us as their parents and caregivers, in challenging positions as we navigate a seemingly endless stream of discourse that may lead our kids down the wrong paths. So I asked my friend and screen and tech expert Dr. Devorah Heitner to join me for a frank and open conversation about it all. We talked about the ways differently wired kids might be exposed to harmful content, and why our kids may be more susceptible to toxic or unhealthy virtual rabbit holes in the first place, the popular places where teens and kids are hanging out the most right now, the way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted they content their engaging with, and what we parents might not know that we should know about regarding this topic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Parent Lean In episode, Margaret Webb joins me to answer a listener's question about those tough moments when our kids are totally dysregulated—especially after long, overstimulating school days. We get into why these behaviors happen, how important it is for kids to release pent-up energy, and what it really means to co-regulate. We also talk about how to stay grounded ourselves when things get loud or chaotic, and remind parents that these rough patches are hard, but they are temporary—and we don’t have to face them alone. Key Takeaways Why understanding common concerns about social skills in autistic children can help parents feel less isolated and more empowered How parental anxieties can shape decisions around social opportunities and why self-awareness is key Why clarifying your own worries before addressing your child’s needs leads to more intentional and effective support How using scaffolding strategies can make playdates more successful and comfortable for neurodivergent kids Why keeping playdates short and thoughtfully matched can reduce stress for both kids and caregivers How lowering expectations and partnering with teachers and other parents can create more positive social experiences Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re talking about raising girls—what it means to help them feel strong in both body and mind, and how we as parents can nurture that confidence from an early age. My guest is Kate Rope, an award-winning journalist and the author of the new book, Strong as a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves. In this episode, we talk about empowerment, self-compassion, and listening deeply to our daughters, as well as the role parents play in creating a supportive environment. We also explore the importance of representing diverse experiences, including those of neurodivergent girls, and how to help our kids develop a strong, steady inner voice. About Kate Rope  Kate Rope is an award-winning freelance journalist and author whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Time, and many other outlets. She is the author of Strong as a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves and Strong as a Mother. How to Stay Healthy, Happy and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenting, co-executive producer and co-author of the Audible Original Soldiers of Science, and a mom on a mission to help everyone be Strong as a Human. Things you'll learn from this episode How early conversations about self-advocacy can empower young girls to trust their voices Why including diverse experiences enriches the way we parent and support our daughters How validating emotions like anger helps girls embrace their full humanity instead of suppressing themselves Why neurodivergent girls often face extra layers of societal pressure and expectation How prioritizing self-worth over self-esteem builds a stronger foundation for girls’ well-being Why encouraging autonomy and practicing self-compassion are key for raising confident, resilient girls Resources mentioned Kate Rope’s website Strong As a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves by Kate Rope Strong as a Human (Kate’s Substack) Kate on Instagram Soraya Chemaly Creating Neurodiversity Affirming Schools with Amanda Morin & Emily Kircher-Morris (Full-Tilt Parenting) Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools: Transforming Practices So All Students Feel Accepted & Supported by Emily Kircher-Morris and Amanda Morin About Universal Design Activist Emily Ladau on Demystifying Disability (Full-Tilt Parenting) Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally by Emily Ladau Dr. Katie Hurley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Where is the line between healthy gaming and unhealthy gaming? How much gaming is too much? And when does a gaming habit evolve into gaming addiction? These are some of the questions regarding screen time that I hear from many parents, and they highlight some of the ongoing challenges families face in raising children who can be responsible tech users and whose screen use and gaming doesn’t interfere with their lives in a way that can be harmful or keep them stuck. So when I learned of the new book How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids by Dr. Alok Kanojia, I knew I wanted to invite him onto the show to talk about all things gaming with us. In this conversation, we talked about how we as parents can know whether our child is addicted to video games or not, why screen time limits and restricting gaming time are at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer, and how to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal-setting. We also talked about why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behaviors surrounding gaming and how to raise healthy gamers from a young age. Dr. Alok Kanojia is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist specializing in the intersection of technology x mental health. Also known as ”Dr. K” to millions of people on the internet, Dr.Kanojia is the co-founder of Healthy Gamer, a mental health platform that serves the digital generation. He has inspired millions of people with online content while overseeing the mental health coaching of thousands of young people. He is widely regarded as the foremost expert on video game addiction and most prominent mental health authority for young people. When he’s offline, he’s usually traveling, gardening, or grilling with his family. Things you’ll learn from this episode  How to determine if your child has a gaming addiction, and why it’s important to trust your instincts Why screen time limits and carrot and stick approaches surrounding a child’s gaming is at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer Why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behaviors surrounding gaming The importance of engaging in open and non-judgmental communication with your child about their gaming habits and the impact it has on their life How to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal-setting Ideas for proactively creating healthy gaming habits with younger children learn more at https://tiltparenting.com/session365 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices