TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Today, we’re talking about aggression, specifically in boys, and how we as parents can respond with understanding, connection, and compassion instead of fear or shaming. Joining me is Tosha Schore, a powerful voice in peaceful parenting and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully. Tosha is also the creator of the Out With Aggression program and co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. She’s spent decades helping parents shift the way they relate to their kids, especially when big behaviors show up.In our conversation, Tosha and I got into the roots of aggressive behavior in boys, and how it’s so often a signal, not of defiance, but of fear or frustration. We explored how society often mislabels boys as “bad” when they make mistakes with little room for second chances. Tosha shared what it means to truly listen to our kids, how to build safe spaces for them to express themselves without shame, and why emotional connection, not punishment, is the key to long-term growth and emotional development.If aggression is something your family is struggling with right now, this conversation is for you. And if you find it valuable, and I think you will, consider sharing it with other parents who might need it. About Tosha SchoreTosha Schore is a dynamic leader and globally recognized speaker and trainer dedicated to empowering parents and the professionals who support them. As the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully and creator of the Out With Aggression program, Tosha has equipped thousands of parents worldwide with tools to transform challenging behaviors by fostering connection, confidence, and compassion in their relationships with their children. She is also the author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges.Drawing on her over two decades of experience, and her extensive training in Hand in Hand Parenting and certification as a Step into Your Moxie® Facilitator, Tosha inspires parents to integrate connection as a bedrock principle in their families, and provides actionable answers to the “then what?” questions parents often face when shifting away from harsher, less effective practices. Tosha is championing a cultural shift toward more compassionate parenting and a more peaceful world. Things you'll learn from this episode Why understanding boys' behavior requires connecting the dots between their emotions, environment, and executive function challenges How recognizing aggression as a response to fear, frustration, or impulse control issues helps parents approach it with empathy Why creating safe spaces for boys to express emotions without judgment fosters emotional growth and self-regulation Why challenging societal perceptions that label boys as "bad guys" is essential for supporting their emotional development How to prioritize emotional connection over discipline in order to navigate challenging behaviors without shame or escalation  Resources mentioned Toscha Shore’s website Parenting Boys Peacefully Free 10-Day Reconnect Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Toscha Shore Dr. John Duffy on Helping Our Struggling Teen Boys (Tilt Parenting podcast) Rescuing Our Sons: 8 Solutions to Our Crisis of Disaffected Teen Boys by Dr. John Duffy Seth Perler, Executive Function Coach   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Author, educator, child development expert Dr. Becky Bailey talks about her Conscious Discipline model of safety, connection and problem-solving to nurture children's social and emotional learning. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Would you define your family as an ADHD family? Today's guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier, and the author of the book You, Me, and Our ADHD Family: Practical Steps to Cultivate Healthy Relationships, says that ADHD isn’t an individual experience – it’s a relational one. And the ADHD dynamic affects the entire family system.I know many listeners of this show would identify as members of an ADHD family and so I’m excited to share this conversation and Tamara’s work with you. Tamara is an ADHD coach, speaker, educator, and founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, where she and her team support individuals and families in better understanding how ADHD shapes their experiences. In addition to the book we’re talking about today, she’s also the author of the popular book. Your Brain’s Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD. In our conversation, Tamara shared her personal and professional insights on what it really means to live in an ADHD family, from the emotional rollercoasters to the quirky dynamics that might feel familiar to you. We talked about how ADHD deeply affects relationships, communication, and emotional regulation across the whole family system. Tamara offered creative, relatable metaphors that help make sense of ADHD behaviors, and she emphasized the importance of self-awareness and revisiting our own childhoods to parent with more clarity and empathy.Lots of ideas and takeaways from this one!  About Dr. Tamara RosierDr. Tamara Rosier has been a college administrator, a professor, a leadership consultant, a high school teacher, a business owner, and an ADHD coach. Through these varied experiences, she has gained invaluable insights into ADHD and its impact on individuals’ lives. As the founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, Dr. Rosier guides a dedicated team of coaches, therapists, and speech pathologists in assisting individuals, parents, and families as they develop a deep understanding of themselves and acquire practical skills to navigate life with ADHD. Her books, Your Brain’s Not Broken and You, Me, and Our ADHD Family, offer practical strategies for addressing the potent emotional dimensions of living with ADHD. Things you'll learn from this episode The ways in which ADHD affects entire families and how recognizing its inheritable nature can foster deeper understanding across generations How emotional processing and dysregulation present unique challenges in ADHD households, making self-reflection and revisiting childhood experiences key to breaking cycles Why cultivating self-awareness and compassion is essential for growth and healthier family relationships How externalizing ADHD symptoms and using metaphors can help children better understand their experiences How strategies like managing one’s “monkeys,” recognizing quirks as non-personal, and understanding proximity to emotional triggers can improve family dynamics Why helping kids take responsibility for their emotions is a critical piece of helping ADHD families thrive  Resources mentioned Dr. Tamara Rosier’s website You, Me, and Our ADHD Family: Practical Steps to Cultivate Healthy Relationships by Dr. Tamara Rosier Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD (A Playbook for Neurodivergent Men and Women with Tools for Coping with ADHD) by Dr. Tamara Rosier The ADHD Center of Western Michigan (Tamara’s organization) Internal Family Systems Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Educator, blogger, and community activist Jason B. Allen shares his ideas for how traditional school environments need to change to better serve differently wired black students and, in particular, black and brown boys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re talking about the reality of parenting while disabled. My guest is Jessica Slice, the author of the new book Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World. A writer, advocate, and disabled mother who challenges the way society defines “fit” parenting, Jessica’s work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Disability Visibility. In this episode, Jessica opens up about the unique challenges disabled parents face, from the obstacles within the process of becoming parents to navigating a world that often feels inaccessible. We also talk about how disabled parents are often excluded from mainstream parenting conversations and why they face heightened scrutiny from Child Protective Services. Jessica shares her powerful perspective on creative adaptation — a mindset that empowers disabled parents to create a parenting approach that works for them, rather than trying to conform to systems that weren’t built with their needs in mind.Whether you’re a disabled parent, raising a disabled child, or just wanting to learn how to be a more informed and supportive ally, this episode is filled with Jessica’s honest insights and practical wisdom that challenge outdated ideas of what makes a “good” parent. About Jessica SliceJessica Slice is a disabled mom and author of Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World. She is also the co-author of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down and This is How We Play, as well as the forthcoming This is How We Talk and We Belong, which was co-authored with the late Judy Heumann. She has been published in Modern Love, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Alice Wong’s bestselling Disability Visibility, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and more. She lives in Toronto with her family. Things you'll learn from this episode Why disabled parents are not often part of the mainstream parenting conversations What are the challenges that disabled parents face when they're starting the process of becoming parents Why disabled parents face more threats from Child Protective Services, and why demanding that someone parent without help can be considered discriminatory How being disabled prepares potential parents for the parenting journey What creative adaptation is and how it can give disabled parents the freedom to build their life from scratch How non-disabled parents can support the disabled parents in their communities  Resources mentioned Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World by Jessica Slice Jessica Slice’s website Jessica Slice writes about disability, parenting, and poems Jessica on Instagram Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally by Emily Ladau Emily Ladau on Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Writer, filmmaker, and creative director Chris Baier talks about raising a daughter with OCD and the film their journey inspired him to produce, UNSTUCK, an award-winning short that explains OCD through the eyes of young people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Listen to an episode of Understood.org's new podcast Climbing the Wall, a 6-part series that investigates why women with ADHD have gone undiagnosed for so long… and how that changed dramatically during the pandemic, when the diagnosis of ADHD in women skyrocketed. The show asks: Why women? Why now? And how has underdiagnosis impacted women’s mental health? Learn more here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

​In this special 9-year anniversary episode, I'm doing things a little differently. Instead of a guest interview, I'm doing a solocast in which I share nine shifts I've noticed in the parenting paradigm for those of us raising neurodivergent kids over the past almost decade since I first founded Tilt. Some of the things I explore in this episode include the evolution of language within the neurodiversity movement, the increased recognition of dual diagnoses like Autistic ADHD and new identifications such as PDA, how concepts like Polyvagal theory and co-reguation have profoundly changed the ways differently wired children are understood, the importance of centering neurodivergent voices, and much more.* I’ve put together a special anniversary playlist of the podcast episodes I reference in this episode over on Spotify. To listen to that, click here.* About DebbieDebbie Reber, MA is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the CEO and founder of Tilt Parenting, a resource, top-performing podcast, consultancy, and community with a focus on shifting the paradigm for parents raising and embracing neurodivergent children. A regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, and the author of more than a dozen books for children and teens, Debbie’s most recent book is Differently Wired: A Parent’s Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope. Resources mentioned Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Neurodivergent Insights Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD Are you autistic? How a 'lost generation' of women on the spectrum went under the radar (The Telegraph)  The lost girls: ‘Chaotic and curious, women with ADHD all have missed red flags that haunt us’ (The Guardian) The Electricity of Every Living Thing: A Woman’s Walk in the Wild to Find Her Way Home by Katherine May Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland Dr. Stephen Porges Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids by Dr. Mona Delahooke Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children’s Behavioral Challenges by Dr. Mona Delahooke Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana Navigating PDA in America: A Framework to Support Anxious, Demand-Avoidant Autistic Children, Teens, and Young Adults  by Ruth Fidler and Diane Gould The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker Normal Sucks: How to Live, Learn and Thrive Outside the Lines by Jonathan Mooney Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Aspergers by John Elder Robison Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally by Emily Ladau Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person’s Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically by Dr. Devon Price Executive Function Coach Seth Perler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Clinical neuropsychologist Dr. Karen Wilson shares her best practices about the transition of differently wired children from preschool (or no school at all) into elementary school, including special considerations, vetting schools for fit, red-shirting practices, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m excited to welcome Dr. Devon Price back to the show to talk about unmasking and self-acceptance for autistic individuals. You may know about Devon’s book Unmasking Autism, and if you haven’t I highly encourage you to go back and listen to our conversation about that book on the show – I’ll have a link in the show notes or you can find it at tiltparenting.com/session292.But today, we are discussing Devon’s brand new book Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically, which explores what it truly means to embrace one’s identity in a world that still struggles with accessibility and inclusion. I think it’s such an important book for parents of autistic children to read, as it shares insights into what our kids ultimately need to grow up as people who can advocate for their needs and invent new ways of living, loving, and being that work with their disability rather than against it.In this conversation, we discussed the journey of self-acceptance for autistic individuals and the cultural shifts happening around neurodivergence. Devon shared insights on how parents can support their children in embracing their authentic selves while navigating a world that often prioritizes conformity. And we also talked about the impact of generational trauma on family dynamics and why redefining success beyond societal norms is crucial for long-term well-being, and much much more.There are more adults discovering their own neurodivergence through parenting their own neurodivergent child, and I think Devon’s book and everything he shared in this conversation can help anyone who is trying to live more authentically with their autism AND any parent who is raising an autistic child that wants to consider what life looks like for their child at various stages of life. This is a great one. Have a listen and please share this episode in your communities. About Dr. Devon PriceDevon Price, PhD, is a social psychologist, professor, author, and proud Autistic person. His research has appeared in journals such as the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and the Journal of Positive Psychology. Devon’s writing has appeared in outlets such as the Financial Times, HuffPost, Slate, Jacobin, Business Insider, LitHub, and on PBS and NPR. He lives in Chicago, where he serves as an assistant professor at Loyola University Chicago’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies. Things you'll learn from this episode Why self-acceptance is an ongoing, internal process that can be especially challenging for neurodivergent individuals How despite progress, the world remains largely inaccessible to disabled people, making advocacy and practical life planning essential Why friendship and love are common struggles for autistic adults and why support, self-awareness, and empowerment rather than forced conformity is critical Where we are now — cultural awareness of neurodivergence is growing yet parents still face pressure to make their children fit societal expectations Why the key to a fulfilling life as an autistic adult means questioning societal norms, addressing generational trauma, and embracing authentic self-expression  Resources mentioned Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically by Dr. Devon Price Devon Price on Substack Devon Price on Medium Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price, PhD Devon Price on Instagram Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) Sarah Casper and Comprehensive Consent The World of Estranged Parents Forums (IssenDai)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices