LOVERS by shan

Let’s talk about submission! My fav definition of this comes from Hafeez who simply said to submit is to sub (be underneath) another person’s mission. Now, one of the main purposes of romantic relationships is to be stronger together - a concept we’ve gone into before when we discussed self expansion theory on episode 4 featuring Jeannie Mai. The Self expansion theory states that the best way to expand, together, is to take stock of each other’s strengths, then create a dynamic that aligns with that reality. But what happens when in the end of this audit, you realize that your strengths fall outside of traditional gender roles? And furthermore you realize that the man’s strengths are perfectly suited to aid in the woman’s success? How does it work and furthermore CAN it work when a man realizes his partner’s potential and then makes her mission, his main mission? That’s what we are going to be talking about on this episode featuring Jade Novah and Devin Johnson. Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. Hungryroot Go to http://www.hungryroot.com/LOVERS Use code LOVERS for 30% off your first order! That’s Hungryroot.com/LOVERS. Don’t forget to use our link, so they know we sent you. Betterhelp Discover your potential with BetterHelp Visit http://www.betterhlp.com/lovers That's www.betterhlp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month. Follow Jade: https://www.instagram.com/jadenovah/ Follow Devin: https://www.instagram.com/mrdevinaire/?hl=en Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

For women in their 30s, 1 in 5 will experience problems conceiving their first child. Deja Riley, our starring guest gives firsthand advice of what it's like to go through over two years of fertility treatments. A grueling experience that's cost her over $20,000 and almost her marriage. In this episode Deja tells all: her experience with IUI, IVF, miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy, eastern medicine, and finally surrender. To keep up with Deja's journey follow her Deja: http://instagram.com/Dejariley  @Doseofduality- her podcast http://Dejariley.com Follow our other special guests Krizia:  http://instagram.com/kriziacruz_ Krystal http://instagram.com/krystalfranklintv Thanks so much to the sponsors of this episode.  SKIMS Fits Everybody Collection https://www.skims.com LOMI Get $50 off your electric countertop composter by visiting https://www.lomi.com/LOVERS  Then using promocode LOVERS RITUAL and Synbiotic+ Get 10% off your first 3 months by visiting https://www.ritual.com/LOVERS  Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

In this episode, I sit down with my mom and sister to talk about our sex ed growing up and now as parents ourselves, what we believe is the most important lesson to teach our kids when it comes to sex and love... You'll also hear a good bit of a past episode that you can listen to in its entirety here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovers-and-friends-with-shan-boodram/id1586679298 I also explain how I plan to bring up conversations about sex to my daughters and what I hope they take away from those.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! Lume  New customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code LOVERS at http://www.LumeDeodorant.com Intimissimi  Go to http://www.intimissimi.com/jlo ZocDoc:  http://www.ZOCDOC.com/LOVERS Betterhelp! Go to betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month! http://www.betterhelp.com/lovers Follow Lauren: https://www.maketheshiftcoach.com/ https://www.instagram.com/maketheshiftwithlauren/ Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

Up to 1 in 4 known pregnancies may end in miscarriage. For many of us, this stat is old news - but as we continue to have this conversation aloud after generations of keeping this pain private - what I do think is new is considering how the father feels about the loss. It seems like a no-brainer, but speaking from personal experience, it hadn’t really crossed my mind until recently. So, let’s talk about it with our special guest Mike Johnson on this episode of Lovers and Friends. According to a study conducted by School of Sciences fathers displayed less “active grief” than their female partners, BUT they were more vulnerable to feelings of despair and difficulty in coping 8 weeks following the loss. The National Library of Medicine found that of 40 men who’s partner had a miscarriage, 59% said they had a deepened awareness of the fragility of life, 45% mourned the loss of their family’s hopes and dreams, 40% reported a strong sense of vulnerability and powerlessness to help their wife and half did not share feelings with their partner at all. These are numbers that I believe our starring guest can bring a face too, and this is a face you might recognize. Mike Johnson has already been a guest on Lovers and Friends in one of our biggest episodes “Tall, Dark, Handsome and Sexually Insecure.” Follow Mike Johnson http://instagram.com/mike_johnson https://www.feelingseen.com/ Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. Hungryroot! Just go to Hungryroot.com/LOVERS, to get 30% off your first delivery and get your free veggies. Intimissimi Go to intimissimi.com/jlo again thats intimissimi.com/jlo Betterhelp! Go to betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month! Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Sources: https://time.com/3982471/men-are-the-forgotten-grievers-in-miscarriage/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8064426/ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02646839908404587#.Vb9xQc4qefQ

Open relationships. Now, you can clutch them pearls and raise those eyebrows all you want to, but this conversation is not going away - especially not in America.  Using two separate samples based on the U.S. Census, researchers found that one-fifth of the population in the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives and if the trend continues, the only place this number is going is up. So… are open relationships the bandaid, the cure or the curse of our generation? And furthermore, how do you actually start one? Like for real? Let’s talk about it on this episode of Lovers and Friends. We have a loaded conversation between our starring guests on this episode, Swaggy C and Bayleigh. A married couple with a new baby, but an old, inactive desire to explore consensual non-monogamy within their marriage. There are a lot of themes to pull from this interview like: what happens when non-monogamy is one person’s yum and the other’s yea I guess if that will make you happy… OR the dangers of using non-monogamy as a punishment for unfulfillment… OR the joys/ struggles of having a partner who is supportive of your desires, but not all the way cooperative. However what stood out to me in this episode is how to go from being curious to actually being actively open...for real. FOLLOW THE GUESTS ON THIS EPISODE Follow Bayleigh: https://www.instagram.com/bayydayy https://www.youtube.com/c/SwayleighGang https://www.tiktok.com/@bayydayyy Follow Chris “Swaggy C”: https://www.instagram.com/swaggyctv https://www.youtube.com/@KingSwaggy Follow Dr. Monica:  https://www.therapyforqpoc.com therapyforqpoc@gmail.com THANKS TO THE SPONSOR OF THIS EPISODE BET Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at http://www.bet.plus Better Help Discover your potential with BetterHelp.  http://www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh Try America’s #1 Meal Kit for yourself. Get 60% off plus free shipping.  Http://www.hellofresh.com/lovers60 Dipsea Explore your fantasies or get inspired with a 30 day free trial now.  http://www.dipsea.com/lovers Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Open relationship reading list From Dr. Monica:  IG Educational Pages  ·      Evita Sawyers | @lavitaloca34 ·      Chanee Jackson Kendall | @chaneespeaks ·      Jhen | @monogamishpod ·      Kevin Patterson | @polyrolemodels ·      @polyamouraousblackgirl ·      Leanne Yau | @polyphiliablog   Books  ·      Pre-Order | A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Non-monogamous | Evita Sawyers ·      Love is Not Colorblind | Kevin Patterson ·      Polysecure | Jessica Fern ·      The Ethical Slut | Hardy & Easton  ·      More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory | Ricket & Veaux ·      Polyamory & Jealousy | Ricket & Veaux

Becky G is an award-winning, chart topping, international superstar who has always been grateful for her life, but at one point, hated herself and the experience of being alive. In order to get out of that dark place and to get the clarity she needed to heal she knew she needed a superhero, but what she didn’t know is “that hero” would ultimately need to be herself. In this episode Becky G candidly shares how learning to love herself, advocate for her needs and set boundaries has opened up a world of abundance, power, and arguably most importantly, self compassion.  Follow Becky G https://www.instagram.com/iambeckyg/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iambeckyg https://www.youtube.com/@beckyg You can still watch old episodes of Becky’s Facebook Watch Show: Face to Face with Becky G  https://www.facebook.com/watch/iambeckyg/1684197931784162/ AND OF COURSE WATCH THESE INTERNETS FOR BECKY’S COACHELLA PERFORMANCES THIS APRIL! And if you came here looking for quick links to the incredible sponsors of this episode, we got you!  EveryPlate  http://www.everyplate.com/podcast  Use Code: Lovers149 Lomi:  http://www.lomi.com/lovers Use Code: Lovers BET Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at http://www.bet.plus Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends? According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021,  a lot of people are not  satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.  So how long does it take to make a new friend? -50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend  - 90 hours before becoming real friends  - 200hours- before becoming close friends  - source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'  As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work.  A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.  ZocDoc:  https://www.zocdoc.com/ Ritual https://ritual.com/lovers for 10% off your first 3 months  Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Krista:  https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/ https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/ https://www.instagram.com/morningmicrodose/ https://www.instagram.com/moderntarot/ Follow Tabia: https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/ Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/ https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/ Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/

In this episode, I am answering 10 questions submitted by YOU, allll about sex!  I am looking forward to making more Q+A episodes, so feel free to submit your questions around sex, love and dating.  Huge thank you to the sponsors of this episode Ritual  Use code Lovers for 10% your order for 3 months.  Http://ritual.com/lovers Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Jared:  Http://instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady

Lauren Jauregui talks about breaking things off with Ty Dolla Sign, writing Always Love, holistically healing and then finding real love again with another woman. Lauren Jauregui rose to prominence as a member of the girl group Fifth Harmony, which became one of the best- selling girl groups of all time. Since then, she has gone on to release her solo projects “Expectations” and “Prelude.” Lauren has also collaborated with Steve Aoiki, Halsey, Tainy (Tiny), and Ty-Dolla Sign whom she publicly dated for about 2 years.  Her hit, Always Love, pays homage to the end of her relationship with Ty and in this episode we get under the covers of that song to discuss the reason for the split, the lessons from that love lost and the discoveries she's made about who she is and what she needs since. Follow @Laurenjauregui on all social media platforms If you are an international listener, catch her on tour starting in March https://www.laurenjauregui.com/ Listen to “Always Love” the single and her project “Prelude” which are out now Thank you to the sponsors of this episode MAGIC SPOON Go to http://magicspoon.com/lovers to grab a variety pack and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code LOVERS at checkout to save five dollars off your order! DIPSEA For listeners of Lovers and Friends, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to http://DipseaStories.com/lovers BETTER HELP Visit http://BetterHelp.com/lovers to get 10% off your first month BUMBLE Download Bumble in your App Store and put yourself first when you look for love. Also, learn how Bumble can help make your search simpler and more satisfying at http://Bumble.com by clicking on "The Buzz" Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Lauren:  https://www.instagram.com/laurenjauregui/

In this episode, I talk about the 10 soulmates we may encounter over the span of our lives. Thanks for being patient with me this week on this episode. Promise to do better! Here are the 10 types of soulmates. The Stranger Soul Mate - unrequited love is still love. We needed them, we loved them, we were certain we were destined to marry them and they barely remember our last name. The black hole Soul Mate -  the person that we lost ourselves and our sensibilities to (usually our first requited soul mate experience) The Almost doesn’t count Soul Mate - the person who checked all the boxes but couldn’t light your fire (or vice versa) The Only If They… Soul Mate The Stay with you Forever but Stay Away From Me Forever Soul Mate - the person you’ll never truly be over even though it’s definitely over The one that got away - the good guy/ girl who you blew it with and now they’re happy with someone else The Rip Tide Soulmate - the relationship that preys on your needs, insecurities, weakness’ and fears. The prototype Soulmate - the person you are so sure is your one but upon further inspection you realize is just a beautiful imposter who taught you what you really needed to know about what you need out of love The Muse Soulmate - the person who’s meant to teach you about love/ connection, but not give it to you (usually a crush you never get a shot with) The Love of my Life soulmate- the relationship that allows you to be your best self and love at a higher frequency. A love marked by self insight, happiness, individual growth and true mutuality. Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! Babbel! Http://www.babbel.com/lovers Bumble: Download the Bumble app today for free! Hello Fresh! Http://www.hellofresh.com/lovers Follow Shan: http://instagram.com/shanboody http://tiktok.com/shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com