The Upshot

The name Kevin Keegan should conjure images of glittering European nights, mazy dribbles and Balon d’Or wins.But for most people, football’s unluckiest icon is remembered for four words: I WOULD LOVE IT.And he’s had plenty of bad luck.He was beaten up by drug dealers, discovered Father Christmas’ lifeless corpse, and got shot in the face with a bow and arrow.From undercover gigolos to getting banged up in Serbia, this is his story…Links from the pod: Green Cross code ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE8Lk2kSCDoScoring in FA Cup final: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=gagQcslGM0t59KHN&t=223&v=xFY67LtZn-0&feature=youtu.beHis hit single: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJdW7-MnXtc&t=21sI would love it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=ip99jIR-GKnNQwij&t=5&v=mk87a7r0V60&feature=youtu.beWill he score: http://www.youtube.com/watch?si=1-R7l9C-zzx9NIfq&t=9&v=k6Bupc_sE4g&feature=youtu.be Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

John Terry's campaign to free Charles Bronson takes center stage, with the hosts diving into the bizarre support from celebrities. They recount wild stories, including Newcastle fans' antics in Marseille's toilets and a retired Olympian's troubling transformation into a drug kingpin. Legal shenanigans unfold with a lawyer accused of advising a murder. Meanwhile, Javier Tebas battles illegal streaming in football, and an eagle handling controversy shakes up Lazio. Expect humor, chaos, and a surprising amount of sports-related mischief!

Joel Golby, a British writer and cultural commentator, dives into the outrageous life of Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He recounts Zlatan’s wild childhood in Malmö, which included bike thefts and a hot-dog stand explosion. From his rebellious days at FBK Balkan to becoming a football sensation, Golby shares anecdotes about Zlatan’s time at Ajax, his notorious antics, and his iconic overhead kick against England. The conversation also touches on his turbulent relationships, gaming obsession, and the complexities of his legacy as a football icon.

Joe Marler finds his Twickenham hospitality event upended by a mysterious elevator mishap. The team dives into the drama surrounding Scotland and Ireland's thrilling qualifying victories. There's a shocking revelation about a Serbian WAG, daughter of a notorious warlord. They also preview the Ashes, exploring Barmy Army antics and an Australian’s bold prediction. Meanwhile, Luis Rubiales faces a family feud when he's egged by his uncle during a book launch, adding hilarity to the fallout from his controversial kiss.

Matt Le Tissier’s empire of filth has been shut down by the cops. And he’ll never trust the establishment again.But his battles with the state and its puppets are just getting started.In part 2, Matt hooks up with Goldilocks at a pantomime, feuds with Glen Hoddle and Gary Lineker, and uncovers the sinister plot to control the weather…Links from the pod: Valley Slags: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixXIosCrCLYCalling out Ian Wright on GB News: https://x.com/beardedgenius/status/1634290810115039233Withdraws consent to be governed: https://x.com/mattletiss7/status/1679913916313239569Looking at Rishi Sunak in DISGUST: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GCm3ZX2WMAA_hFr.jpgLivestream with numerologist: https://x.com/Nullen80/status/1780210491878465642 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Plus: Infantino makes a tit of himself again, and departing gaffer Rob Edwards is thrown out of Middlesbrough by securityEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐Links from the pod:Mascots minute silence: https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624 https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624Join The Upshot’s Patreon for never-heard details of Balotelli’s firework house fire, plus the swinging 60s tale of champagne-swigging, spy-shagging Man City legend Malcolm Allison.https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In the 1990s, Matt Le Tissier was the ultimate cult hero.A Malibu-swigging everyman with magic feet, he ran a strip club, got headbutted on dancefloors and guzzled KFC buckets every night.But then things got a bit weird.In his second act, Le Tiss warn against communist takeovers, accused Boris Johnson of controlling the weather, and withdrew his consent to be governed.This is his story…Links from the pod:Amazing goal vs Blackburn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cx59N1wHcs  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Plus: Wesley Fofana gets 47 points on his licence and the Spurs star held at gunpoint by his agent.Get The White Hot Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra for 15% OFF with code UPSHOT at Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartnerLinks from the pod:Wesley Fofana speeding: https://x.com/search?q=fofana%20driving&src=typed_queryZenit midfielder attempted kidnapping: https://x.com/Buckarobanza/status/1982730247402586248 Divas del futbol: https://www.instagram.com/divasdelfutboloficial/ Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the blundering mayhem of Guy Fawkes and the gunpowder plot… https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Silvio Berlusconi is the all powerful King of Italy, and behind the scenes, he’s up to some very, very seedy antics.He dresses escorts as Barack Obama, lures George Clooney into his lair, and is rocked by an ungodly number of sex scandals.Links from the episode:Christmas party speech: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1668281158889603072  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On the pod: The midfielder who stole the second most famous painting in the world, and an Aussie Surfer’s despicable deed outrages India.EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐Links from the pod:Louvre heist detective: https://share.google/images/twil1XYbeD1bwkILY Vitor Pereira arguing with Wolves fans: https://x.com/footbalIfights/status/1982763178967933114 And dancing with them in Wetherspoons last season: https://x.com/wwfcscott/status/1911520510636380545? Jose Sa confrontation in the car park: https://x.com/_AlwaysWolves/status/1982577368486293639 Jorginho fishy pants prank: https://www.instagram.com/p/DQLGe0sjCfF/?hl=en Surfer (not) pooing in sacred lake: https://www.instagram.com/p/DPsMXGjk20o/?hl=en Trump and Erdogan: https://x.com/Acyn/status/1971239367172817119 Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the clucking mad story of Colonel Sanders. He’s finger lickin’ baaad…..https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices