The Upshot Zlatan Ibrahimovic: get the milk, asshole (with Joel Golby)
Nov 25, 2025
Joel Golby, a British writer and cultural commentator, dives into the outrageous life of Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He recounts Zlatan’s wild childhood in Malmö, which included bike thefts and a hot-dog stand explosion. From his rebellious days at FBK Balkan to becoming a football sensation, Golby shares anecdotes about Zlatan’s time at Ajax, his notorious antics, and his iconic overhead kick against England. The conversation also touches on his turbulent relationships, gaming obsession, and the complexities of his legacy as a football icon.
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Troubled Childhood And Balkan Roots
- Zlatan grew up in a rough Malmö neighborhood and started petty crimes like bike theft and shoplifting as a child.
- He found belonging at FBK Balkan, a club of Yugoslav immigrants that matched his upbringing and temperament.
Early Rebelliousness At Malmö
- Zlatan advanced to Malmö's first team as a teenager and responded to a hard tackle by headbutting the opponent, sparking parental outrage.
- He continued petty theft like stealing the assistant manager's bike and often skipped team runs, showing early rebelliousness.
Red Light Prank Turns Into Tabloid Scandal
- At 18 Zlatan and a friend impersonated police to scare a curb crawler, then were stopped by police in a widely published photo.
- The man they terrorized was later identified by tabloids as a priest, making the scandal bigger.
