
The Upshot
The Upshot pulls back the curtain on your favourite sports and dives into all the stuff BBC and Sky wouldn’t touch with a bargepole: drunken antics, dressing room squabbles and the simmering sexual tension of the French football team.Check out our semi-legendary newsletter that goes to 100,000+ subscribers: http://www.upshot.email?utm_source=poddescriptionAnd our Twitter account, where we dig into the archives and spill classic tales from the past: http://www.twitter.com/upshottowers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Latest episodes

May 1, 2025 • 50min
Cole Palmer’s Dubai dealer and bong hits at the NFL draft
Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Chris Eubank’s getting fruity again and Celtic captain guzzling deep fried pizzas before a big final.Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com when you use code UPSHOTLinks from the pod:Cole Palmer sprinting out of Stamford Bridge: https://x.com/CFCPys/status/1916159833029386279 Kalvin Phillips shoes: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FPaSKutaUAg6kGn.jpgChris Eubank at his son’s fight: https://x.com/HappyPunch/status/1916495631373230245Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank: https://www.instagram.com/tappymusicc/reel/DItn7OpqIr3/Peter Andre movie: https://x.com/lorrainemking/status/1912199573772333434NFL draft prank: https://x.com/iam_johnw/status/1916164031544541399 Gas mask bong: https://x.com/Unders_GOAT/status/1651670862313955329 Wrexham gatorade celebration: https://x.com/Wrexham_AFC/status/1916210433981354102 Scott Brown eating his deep fried pizza: https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/article5332503.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/EMBARGOED-UNTIL-0001-Sunday-15th-PAY-Scott-Brown.jpg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 29, 2025 • 1h 4min
Chris Eubank: never touch another man’s bonbons (part two)
With his cane, monocle and cut glass accent, Chris Eubank isn’t your typical boxer.But he wasn’t always the fruity aristocrat you see today.He had knife fights at dominos tournaments, went on two day police chases, and raided an arcade for 20,000 10p coins.From poisoned chow meins to watching his own circumcision, this is the story of Britain’s weirdest world champion…Links from the pod:Esquire photoshoot: https://images.app.goo.gl/UNz5485XcmywURGK9 Chris in a monocle: https://images.app.goo.gl/qnfmEF5ZbXP59oD66 His huge truck: https://images.app.goo.gl/YE96tDXwpKekZRYq5 Gogglebox “would you like a sweetie”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPkW5aNqIYI Never touch another man’s bonbons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlLYNHCEn5Q&t=758s Climbing into his son’s corner during a fight: https://www.reddit.com/r/Boxing/comments/16ofvno/chris_eubank_corners_his_son/ Run in with Cycling Mikey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aww6LQX7ico Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 24, 2025 • 49min
FIFA threatens to sue The Upshot
Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Our impending courtroom battle with Gianni Infantino, Romeo Beckham cucks his brother Brooklyn, and we unmask the mystery headbutter from Nicky Butt’s birthday.Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com when you use code UPSHOTLinks from the pod:Infantino “I feel African” speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy9jaX9RAbA The Beckhams on Ali G: https://youtu.be/P842Tmi6lrc?si=4lhG8j3qePdDbcjY&t=486 Street preacher interrupted in Newcastle: https://x.com/_shaunmiller_/status/1914030703148155037 San Lorenzo president trousering a wad of cash: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1k4zdz9/marcelo_moretti_president_of_san_lorenzo_gets/ Jurgen Klopp at Coachella?: https://www.facebook.com/reel/1478311966481175?fs=e&fs=e Celtic’s Adam Idah throwing up in a taxi: https://www.tiktok.com/@.idah._/video/7494299002691718422 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 22, 2025 • 49min
Chris Eubank: the fruitiest man on the planet (part one)
Get part two RIGHT NOW and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers With his cane, monocle and cut glass accent, Chris Eubank isn’t your typical boxer.But he wasn’t always the fruity aristocrat you see today.He had knife fights at dominos tournaments, went on two day police chases, and raided an arcade for 20,000 10p coins.From poisoned chow meins to watching his own circumcision, this is the story of Britain’s weirdest world champion…Links from the pod:His real voice: https://www.tiktok.com/@mma.247_/video/7477711253511687446Knocks Reginaldo out in 20 seconds - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_qYqrfOmLQ ITV contract signing with Nigel Benn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji6hMwaBeiM Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 17, 2025 • 44min
Luis Suarez bites again
Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Managers on the piss at Spoons, Joey Barton’s Turkey Teeth conspiracy theory and Rory McIlroy’s brutal jilting story.Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com when you use code UPSHOTLinks from the pod:Luis Suarez bites Jordi Alba: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/34447132/luis-suarez-bite-jordi-alba-inter-miami/ Vitor Pereira at Spoons: https://x.com/wwfcscott/status/1911520510636380545Wozniaki’s Rory McIlroy sleeping photo: https://images.app.goo.gl/qBUEUB4x5NZw4UVR9 Joey Barton on KDB’s Turkey teeth: https://www.tiktok.com/@common.sense.pod/video/7491972792179494166Katie Price terrifying teeth: https://images.app.goo.gl/EKg61VR97XQQfGCR6 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 15, 2025 • 56min
Wonderkids gone wild: gold AK47s and pornstars
Support the pod and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers Ravel Morrison. Adriano. Freddy Adu.The staircase to footballing glory is littered with scintillating starlets who flew too close to the sun.But where did it all go wrong?From hardcore pornstars to a Serie A striker torpedoed by Kim Jong Un, meet the wonderkids who weren’t…With guest George WildeLinks from the pod:Kerlon’s seal dribble: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYlqql38XkY Kerlon dribble sparks a brawl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqRgdQC__Qk Adriano gold AK47: https://images.app.goo.gl/Cr61ks5f9adnL1Yv5 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 10, 2025 • 53min
Elton John’s grubby game of dice
Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Pipe bombs at Old Trafford, managers stealing players’ credit cards, and mystic animals boiled alive.Links from the pod:Dave Bassett on being sacked by Elton John: https://fb.watch/yQKTZPrr9n/ Old Trafford fake pipe bomb: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-36307246 VAR official betting during matches: https://x.com/epicredcards/status/1907857817467252776 Fake bear at Chinese zoo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cu4mnPb4g4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 8, 2025 • 50min
Garrincha: guns, goats and government brothels (part two)
Support the pod and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers As his dad lies in the wreckage of his car, Garrincha has fled towards the woods where a goat once popped his cherry. From gun-wielding vigilantes to affairs with the president’s girlfriend, this is the story of what happened next…With guest Yasmin Mills.Links from the pod:Elza Soares - Mas Que Nada: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_8LtWKZaz0 Dog pisses on Jimmy Greaves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPUMFGbOLQw&t=57s Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 3, 2025 • 53min
Was Shane Warne killed by Viagra?
Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Wayne Rooney pissed on the streets of London and Erling Haaland accused of assault by Man City’s mascot.Links from the pod:Harry Redknapp after dinner speaking:https://x.com/dw_sports/status/1905595028560290186Wayne Rooney pissing on the street: https://images.app.goo.gl/ATjMnJSfTFdqNxTRA Turtle pissing on golf course: https://x.com/TheUltLineup_/status/1906445496606236688Haaland high five: https://x.com/TigerVishkit/status/1660342870459699200 Steve Bruce responds to Dwight Gayle: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1ji319l/steve_bruce_on_dwight_gayle_criticizing_his/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 1, 2025 • 55min
Garrincha: he lost his virginity to a goat (part one)
Get part 2 NOW and unlock our exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowersEveryone knows Brazilian footballers love 3 things: boozing, showboating and shagging anything that moves. But none compares to Garrincha, the magical winger who lifted two World Cups, fathered 14 children and lost his virginity to a goat.From gun-wielding vigilantes to affairs with the president’s girlfriend, meet football's first wild child…With guest Horatio Gould (@horatiogouldcomedy) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.