Pillow Talks

In this episode, we're talking about how to cut through the shame, awkwardness and embarrassment that we've been taught to have when talking about sex; specifically when it comes to talking to your kids.   Links & Resources: Episode 8: Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame YouTube — The Ultimate Guide to Talk to Your Kids About Sex   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode22

Trying new sex positions is a really fun way to spice up your sex life, but it can feel super intimidating to even get started when you're already in a comfortable routine.In today's episode, we are addressing your concerns and helping you gain the confidence to dive right in and add to your repertoire! LInks & Resource:Pick up your copy of the Sex Position Playbook! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode21

How do you know if or when to end a relationship? To see if we could help answer that question, we reached out to our Instagram community for story submissions and were overwhelmed with the number of responses from people wondering whether to continue or end their relationships. These submissions cover everything from not getting 'butterflies' anymore to feeling "emotionally starved". Today, we'll be sharing some of the stories we received, walking you through these nuanced and complex situations, and offering our best advice for how to move forward.   Links and Resources: Free Guide: The Golden Rules of Communication Podcast: How To Navigate Different Political, Social, and Religious Beliefs In Dating And Relationships   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode20

Awkward, fun, nerve-wracking, and exciting: all words that our community used to describe first-time sex with a new partner. There can be a lot of high expectations and common misconceptions about first times, so today we're going to be helping you navigate the waters of getting it on with someone new.   Even if you're in a long term relationship, there are tips on communicating with your partner about sex. And of course, we had to share the embarrassing details about our first time!   Links & Resources: Podcast Episode: No Your Partner Didn't Make You Feel That Way — Your Feelings Are Your Responsibility Free Guide: Are You Sexually Compatible?   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode121

We all want to feel wanted. That's why we're talking about something that can totally change your relationship for the better, and it's something you've already done..."dating" your partner!   We've heard from our community (and this is something we as a couple have gone through as well) that when you've been together for years, even decades, you can go through phases where you feel more like roommates than romantic partners. Maybe you have kids and you know you're on the same team, but romance has taken a back seat to parenting and just life in general. Whatever the case may be, we're excited to talk about the role desire can play in your relationship and how - yes - you can reignite that spark from the 'old days'.   Links & Resources: The Sex Challenge Mental Load: What it is and how to stop it from destroying your relationship   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode18

In order to enjoy sex, we have to receive. Whether it's time, attention, love, or energy, there are so many aspects of great sex are tied into receiving. Your ability to receive can affect many things, like your ability to be present in the moment, feel pleasure, be emotionally connected to a partner, and especially to orgasm!   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander talk about how you can get more comfortable with the idea of receiving in the bedroom.   Links & Resources: Free Guide: 10 Ways to Feel More During Sex Video: Female Orgasm - How to Know If You've Had An Orgasm Course: Finishing School Live   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode17

Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It's hard enough to process your own feelings, so when your partner does something that brings up big feelings for you, it's so easy to blame them for the way you feel. But the unfortunate reality is we can't actually blame other people for how we're feeling!   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss why our feelings are our own responsibility, and give their best tips for navigating challenging emotions.   Links & Resources: Free Guide: The Simple Daily Check-In Every Couple Needs To Be Doing Right Now Video: Improve Your Relationship - How To Follow GOOD Relationship Advice Course: The Relationship Care Package   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode16

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all about"? This is one of the most common complaints we hear from women! So many women want to FEEL MORE in the bedroom, but they just don't know how.   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander unpack why the key to feeling more pleasure in the bedroom is to start with masturbation.   Links & Resources: Free Guide: Best Way To Have Your First Orgasm Video: Masturbation In Relationships? - A SEX Therapist's Guidelines for Self Pleasure   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode15

Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disagree about them in a relationship?   Should differing beliefs be deal breakers? Are they enough to end a relationship over?   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander tackle these thorny questions!   Links & Resources: Video: How To Make Up After A Fight Free Guide: Simply Daily Check-In For Couples Course: The Relationship Care Package!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode14

Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Which is why initiating sex is one of the most vulnerable things we do in our relationships.   In today's episode we are talking all about how to deal with sexual rejection, so you and your partner can feel way more confident initiating with one another.   Links & Resources: The Art Of Initiation   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode13