Pillow Talks

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all about"? This is one of the most common complaints we hear from women! So many women want to FEEL MORE in the bedroom, but they just don't know how.   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander unpack why the key to feeling more pleasure in the bedroom is to start with masturbation.   Links & Resources: Free Guide: Best Way To Have Your First Orgasm Video: Masturbation In Relationships? - A SEX Therapist's Guidelines for Self Pleasure   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode15 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disagree about them in a relationship?   Should differing beliefs be deal breakers? Are they enough to end a relationship over?   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander tackle these thorny questions!   Links & Resources: Video: How To Make Up After A Fight Free Guide: Simply Daily Check-In For Couples Course: The Relationship Care Package!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode14 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Which is why initiating sex is one of the most vulnerable things we do in our relationships.   In today's episode we are talking all about how to deal with sexual rejection, so you and your partner can feel way more confident initiating with one another.   Links & Resources: The Art Of Initiation   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode13 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Body confidence is something that affects everyone, whether it's an occasional thing or a daily struggle. Usually we think of it as a personal issue - feeling self conscious, or having critical and judgmental thoughts towards ourselves.   But there's another aspect to body confidence that actually has a huge impact on how we show up in our sex lives and relationships: our ability to let our partner love our body.   In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss how to let your partner love your body and share their best tips for receiving and accepting compliments from your partner.   Links & Resources: Video: How To IMPROVE Body Confidence - The Ultimate Guide Guide: 3 Simple Daily Habits To Keep The Spark Alive In Your Relationship!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode12 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you hear the words “Sex Therapist”, you probably think of someone who knows exactly what they want and how to get it in the bedroom, right? So what happens when an aspiring sex therapist is struggling with her orgasm? In this interview-style podcast, Vanessa tells her own personal orgasm journey, and how it inspired her to start a business teaching thousands of women how to orgasm. For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode11   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good communication is really hard.  We'll be the first to admit that in the heat of the moment it can be really tough to validate your partner's experience, use clear and empathic language, and also ask for your needs to be met.   We make a living teaching couples how to have good communication and we STILL struggle with this.   So in this episode, we're roleplaying some of our listener-submitted arguments, and breaking down their communication breakdowns.   Links & Resources: Video: 5 Communication Tips For Couples Guide: Golden Rules Of Communication Masterclass: Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode10 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many of us think that if we hit a certain quota, it means out relationship is successful.   So we decided to do a little experiment to see what the sex lives of our followers really look like. We created a sexual frequency and satisfaction survey, and we've now had 12,000 people respond!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you grow up in Purity Culture?   Purity Culture teaches that it's important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are more pure, wholesome, and desirable.   It also has a lot to say about dressing modestly (especially for girls), pleasure being sinful, & masturbation being evil.   In this week's episode, we're breaking down the effects Purity Culture can have on your sex life- and what you can do to counteract it.   Links & Resources: Video: Religion And SEX - Navigating Sex, Shame, and Religion Masterclass: Masturbation Masturclass   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When was the last time you had a truly amazing kiss? The sad reality is that most couples just don't really kiss anymore! A lot of us, if we're really honest with ourselves, feel a little insecure about our kissing technique. And if we're even more brutally honest, a lot of us don't really like the way our partner kisses. There's a lot of sex advice out there about oral sex technique and sex positions, but you rarely hear discussions of kissing technique. In this episode we're back to basics and talking all things kissing.   Links & Resources: Video: How To Initiate - 7 Ways To Initiate Sex That Will Make Your Partner Say "HELL YES!" Guide: Foreplay Guides Masterclass: Initiate Sex So Your Partner Will Want To Say "Yes"   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode7 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you think that relationships should be effortless? Or that having to work on your relationship means there's something wrong?   Or does your partner think these things?   A lot of people think that they should only need to put effort into their relationship to solve serious problems. Or they wait until things are bad to start putting in effort.   But your relationship CAN NOT survive without effort.   In this episode, we reframe work in a completely different - and much more helpful, effective, and fun! - way.   Links & Resources: Video: Improve Your Relationship - How To Follow GOOD Relationship Advice Guide: The Simple Daily Check-In Every Couple Needs To Be Doing Right Now Masterclass: Bring Your Sex Life Back to Life   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode6 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices