Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Happy December!!! I am so very delighted to introduce you to one of my favorite moms on the planet - Dana Sheheane! This episode is a simple, rambling and lighthearted chat with one of my real life mom friends. You will LOVE her! She’s one of us folks.I feel like we can raise amazing Christian kids - if we are wearing the right bra and our coffee stays warm. Amen? So let’s dive into some practical ideas and a girlfriend chat. The majority of the episode is just fun ideas and simple tips for your everyday life. However, don’t miss the end. We talk about a few intangible and critical things you need to survive in 2025 - from margin to community. Enjoy her wisdom and her adorable laugh!.In this episode, we chat about:Perimenopause Chico’sHeating matsStitch gunsEmbarrassing kids Best bra per DanaSolution for cold coffeeAnd much more!Love,Courtney(05:55) Parenting Insights and Challenges(11:58) Holiday Traditions and Family Dynamics(18:52) Navigating Hormonal Changes(29:56) Embracing Embarrassment as Parents(39:04) Must-Have Gadgets for Everyday Life(45:14) Finding Joy in Everyday Challenges(51:16) Building Community and ConnectionConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideResources from today’s show:Wild Interest podcastDana’s Story - StoryTellersLive Part 1Dana’s Story - StoryTellersLive Part 2Lighthouse Family RetreatEOS Lotion- not cherry. No scent. We liedFYY Food Warming Mat Dawn Platinum Powerwash Dish SprayCoffee Mug WarmerStitch GunPodcast episode i LOVED latelyDiva DetergentBest Bra per DanaTreasures in the Dark by Katherine WolfOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44)It’s one thing to love your neighbor as yourself, it’s a whole other thing to love your enemies. As believers, we aren’t called to ignore our enemies or to tolerate our enemies, we are called to love them and to pray for them. This is a radical teaching that goes against the norm in society because it is much easier to judge or gossip about our enemies (guilty!). But even more, we are supposed to love our enemies without expecting anything in return.Scripture makes it clear that the most powerful way we can actually love our enemies is to pray for them. We begin to see a change in ourselves as we pray for others. First, we start to see our enemies the way God sees them, and God sees them as his beloved and dearly loved children, just like we are. Second, we can be freed from bitterness, resentment, and anger by praying for our enemies as our hearts are softened by the Holy Spirit. So, this week let’s pray that our kids will love their enemies in a radical way and that they will begin to see themselves as God sees them.Father God, loving our enemies starts with us. I pray that ___________ would learn to love their prayed and pray for them while establishing healthy boundaries. I pray that their hearts are softened towards the people who treat them poorly so that they see them the way you do. I pray for reconciliation and peace if ________ is being bullied or bullying others. Give me wisdom in those conflicts. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I crave mentors and wisdom! I feel like I can spot wise women in any room. Lisa Clark is one of those mentors and I’m delighted to share her with you today. You will absolutely love hearing her “best and worst parenting advice” as she thinks back over her 35 years of parenting. As a grandmother now, she is at a place in life where she can look back and assess what was true and what wasn’t. Some advice is helpful and some is not. Some advice is biblical and some is not. Lisa shares so many incredible pieces of encouragement with us today - from how to discipline, the role of dads, when and how to have sex talks and much more. Lisa prioritizes her faith in a beautiful way but also has a very solid grasp on the realities we are facing as moms. I always feel lighter and more encouraged after time with her. My favorite part is at the end when she shares why we should be deliberate in teaching the gospel. She gives very specific ways we can do this and reminds us why it matters. I am praying that you feel so deeply seen in this episode and that the work you are doing as a mom matters. In this episode we discuss:Some best and worst parenting adviceWhy adult children are amazingHow to trust our gut as mothersHow to help our kids learn boundariesHow to be our child’s advocate firstEnjoy!Courtney (00:00) Navigating Grandparenting Dynamics(02:12) The Myth of 18 Years(04:31) Evolving Relationships with Adult Children(06:50) The Balance of Discipline and Gentle Parenting(10:51) Challenging Conventional Parenting Advice(14:58) Trusting Your Instincts as a Parent(18:24) Navigating Kindness and Boundaries(20:29) The Importance of Sleep Schedules(22:25) Open Conversations About Sex(25:52) The Balance of Parenting Styles(30:33) Empowering Dads in Parenting(33:38) Intentional Gospel TeachingConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideResources from today’s show:Wild Interest podcastConnect with Lisa ClarkRaising Sinners book by Lisa ClarkRaising Sinners podcast by Lisa ClarkAge of Opportunity by Paul David TrippCrossover at OUDr. David and Amanda Erickson episode - Discipline, ConsequencesBirds & Bees (Mary Flo Ridley)Dangers of Growing Up in a Christian HomeOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35)We are commanded to love others the way we love ourselves—which is kind of hard when we sometimes aren’t so nice to ourselves (we can pray against that for our kids). But we are also called to love others the way Jesus loves us: sacrificially and actively.For our kids, love as an action means more than being kind to everyone, it means our kids notice when someone is left out and they include them. It means forgiving others, standing up for others, noticing the lonely, and looking for ways to serve others. It’s not always easy, but it’s always good.When we love people in this way, the people around us notice that there is something different about us. The love of Christ shines bright so the whole world can see that we are his disciples. That is what it is all about because, at the end of the day, the most loving thing we can do for the people around them is to tell them about Jesus and his great love for us.So this week let’s pray that our kids love others with their words and their actions. Let’s pray that when people see the way our kids treat others, they will see Jesus in them.Jesus, thank you for loving us. Help ____________ to notice the lonely, the sad, and the hurting and love them well. May they always seek to be more than kind to everyone, but be moved to action so that they can show the world around them your love. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What an absolute delight! If I could have dinner with 5 people (dead or alive) - it would be Jesus, Princess Diana, my grandmother, Mother Teresa and Bob Goff. What about you? Are there people in the world that have shaped your mind and heart? Bob’s first book, Love Does, had a significant impact on my faith and the way I parent my kids. So, you can imagine it was PURE JOY to have this conversation today.He sprays wisdom, inspiration and joy like confetti - so you will not be short on takeaways for this one. I loved his encouragement for us to, “GO BE YOU!” He encourages us to reconnect and rediscover how God made us. When we do that, we have less comparison with other moms. And we can settle into who we are. And then, as parents, we get to help our kids settle into who they are.One of my favorite parts is when he talks about his role as a dad and grandfather. He encourages us to ask “What do they uniquely need that only I could give?” Let’s sit with that today and try not to overcomplicate it. What do our kids, friends and family need that only I could give?- Courtney Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideResources from today’s show:BobGoff.comCatching Whimsy - Bob’s new bookLove Does - Bob’s first bookDaily DrillsIn This House, We Will Giggle Wild Interest podcastPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads” (Deuteronomy 6:5–8)To love God with all our hearts is to love God despite our emotions and our circumstances.To love God with all our soul is to rest in him. It is to know our creator and to be in relationship with him, knowing that he is where we will find peace and eternal rest. To love God with all our mind is to know God, but also trust him with our life, our soul, and our story. It is to know that he is sovereign and knows what is best for us.To love God with all our strength is to live our faith in everyday life. It is to serve him by using the gifts that he has given us, being the hands and feet of Jesus, and putting into practice all the things we know to be true about God.We love God fully when we love him in these ways and it is that full love that overflows into the way we love others. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will love God fully in every area of their lives.Jesus, you love us completely, fully, and perfectly. May __________ love you with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. May their love overflow in a way that everyone around them notices there is something different about them. May they grow in their love for you every day and every year. Amen.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy Thanksgiving!I hope you are having a beautiful day with your friends and family. I am so very thankful for each of you. I got to meet several of you in person at a recent retreat - and you were so kind to stop me and tell me the impact this podcast is having on your life. I care about each of you so much and it was so refreshing to meet you in person and hug you tight. Today’s episode is just ME! I decided to pause from interviewing guests and start a series that we will sprinkle in over the next year or so. As I am launching my first child into the world, it’s fun to look back and think “What mattered most?” One of the things that has mattered most in our parenting journey is the topic of GENEROSITY. As Ron and I reflect, we do believe making that a priority in our home has genuinely impacted our girls’ faith - in big and small ways. We didn’t always get it right - but we did make sure we spent very practical time giving to others. This is way more than giving money - it’s our time, talents and more.Today, you will hear some super practical ideas too for the holiday season. You can find 100 free ideas over at Light ‘Em Up. Enjoy this season with your family shining the light of God. Praying we each have eyes to see where God is moving and that we have the courage to step in and be a part of it this Christmas season.Send me some stories after the fact!Much love,Courtney 00:00Thanksgiving Greetings and Gratitude10:25Living Generously: Personal Stories and Experiences20:02Creative Acts of Kindness and Community Engagement25:52Making Room for Generosity33:20Listening for God's GuidanceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideResources from today’s show:Light ‘Em Up - acts of kindness ideasIn This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s first bookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18)We tend to tie gratitude to our situation. We feel grateful if life is good or we feel happy. We feel grateful when God answers our prayers the way we want. But God’s challenge to us is to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances! And even when we don’t feel thankful for our circumstances, we can be thankful for this: God loves us enough to heal us (like he healed the lepers), God loves us enough to provide for us, protect us, and guide us. And most importantly God loves us enough to send his only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross and forgive us our sins. On our kids’ journey of faith, it’s important that they learn to love God by expressing their gratitude to him. This week, let’s pray that our kids always have a grateful heart, even when it’s hard. Let’s pray that they would recognize God’s blessing in their lives and actively praise him for them. Jesus, thank you for showering us with blessings and for changing our lives by going to the cross! May ____________ always remember that you are good. May they bow before you in reverence and awe knowing that you are worthy of praise and may they acknowledge the way you work in their life, always remembering to have a posture of gratitude towards you. Amen.Listen to the Gratitude playlist on SpotifyGet your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode was incredibly special to me. I have long admired Pastor Louie Giglio and the work he has done through Passion Conferences and Passion City Church. I invited Amelia McBrayer, one of my favorite college kids, to join me in chatting about how to find authentic faith in the college years. This episode is packed with wisdom on how to help encourage our kids (and all of us) to not just know ABOUT God, but to really KNOW God.Since 1997, Passion Conferences has gathered over one million collegiate-aged young people in events across the U.S. and around the world. It was so much fun to bring one of those students on the podcast with me today - to share what God has done through Passion and how her life has been impacted by Jesus.My favorite part is when he talks about the ups and downs of faith. That we need to keep praying and believing for the faith of our kids - but never to shove it on them. He encouraged us to spend more time doing what we want our kids to do. He reminds us that our time as parents in God’s word and praying will have a massive impact on the lives of our kids. In this episode, we discuss:How to stop shoving faith on our kidsPower of praying and believing for your kids’ faithHow to practically put a touch point with God - easy ways to connectTips on how to grow in a community as a college young adultEnjoy!Courtney Chapters00:00Introduction and Background02:02The Impact of Passion Conferences06:03Faith and College Life10:51Navigating Spiritual Challenges15:04The Power of Prayer and Authenticity20:11The Role of Devotionals23:05Maintaining Faith After Events30:08Prayer for the Next GenerationConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Grace & Glory - Louie’s new devotionalLouieGiglio.comPassion ConferencesPassion City ChurchChristian Parenting storeChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuidePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy