Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35)We are commanded to love others the way we love ourselves—which is kind of hard when we sometimes aren’t so nice to ourselves (we can pray against that for our kids). But we are also called to love others the way Jesus loves us: sacrificially and actively.For our kids, love as an action means more than being kind to everyone, it means our kids notice when someone is left out and they include them. It means forgiving others, standing up for others, noticing the lonely, and looking for ways to serve others. It’s not always easy, but it’s always good.When we love people in this way, the people around us notice that there is something different about us. The love of Christ shines bright so the whole world can see that we are his disciples. That is what it is all about because, at the end of the day, the most loving thing we can do for the people around them is to tell them about Jesus and his great love for us.So this week let’s pray that our kids love others with their words and their actions. Let’s pray that when people see the way our kids treat others, they will see Jesus in them.Jesus, thank you for loving us. Help ____________ to notice the lonely, the sad, and the hurting and love them well. May they always seek to be more than kind to everyone, but be moved to action so that they can show the world around them your love. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What an absolute delight! If I could have dinner with 5 people (dead or alive) - it would be Jesus, Princess Diana, my grandmother, Mother Teresa and Bob Goff. What about you? Are there people in the world that have shaped your mind and heart? Bob’s first book, Love Does, had a significant impact on my faith and the way I parent my kids. So, you can imagine it was PURE JOY to have this conversation today.He sprays wisdom, inspiration and joy like confetti - so you will not be short on takeaways for this one. I loved his encouragement for us to, “GO BE YOU!” He encourages us to reconnect and rediscover how God made us. When we do that, we have less comparison with other moms. And we can settle into who we are. And then, as parents, we get to help our kids settle into who they are.One of my favorite parts is when he talks about his role as a dad and grandfather. He encourages us to ask “What do they uniquely need that only I could give?” Let’s sit with that today and try not to overcomplicate it. What do our kids, friends and family need that only I could give?- Courtney Connect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideResources from today’s show:BobGoff.comCatching Whimsy - Bob’s new bookLove Does - Bob’s first bookDaily DrillsIn This House, We Will Giggle Wild Interest podcastPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads” (Deuteronomy 6:5–8)To love God with all our hearts is to love God despite our emotions and our circumstances.To love God with all our soul is to rest in him. It is to know our creator and to be in relationship with him, knowing that he is where we will find peace and eternal rest. To love God with all our mind is to know God, but also trust him with our life, our soul, and our story. It is to know that he is sovereign and knows what is best for us.To love God with all our strength is to live our faith in everyday life. It is to serve him by using the gifts that he has given us, being the hands and feet of Jesus, and putting into practice all the things we know to be true about God.We love God fully when we love him in these ways and it is that full love that overflows into the way we love others. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will love God fully in every area of their lives.Jesus, you love us completely, fully, and perfectly. May __________ love you with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. May their love overflow in a way that everyone around them notices there is something different about them. May they grow in their love for you every day and every year. Amen.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy Thanksgiving!I hope you are having a beautiful day with your friends and family. I am so very thankful for each of you. I got to meet several of you in person at a recent retreat - and you were so kind to stop me and tell me the impact this podcast is having on your life. I care about each of you so much and it was so refreshing to meet you in person and hug you tight. Today’s episode is just ME! I decided to pause from interviewing guests and start a series that we will sprinkle in over the next year or so. As I am launching my first child into the world, it’s fun to look back and think “What mattered most?” One of the things that has mattered most in our parenting journey is the topic of GENEROSITY. As Ron and I reflect, we do believe making that a priority in our home has genuinely impacted our girls’ faith - in big and small ways. We didn’t always get it right - but we did make sure we spent very practical time giving to others. This is way more than giving money - it’s our time, talents and more.Today, you will hear some super practical ideas too for the holiday season. You can find 100 free ideas over at Light ‘Em Up. Enjoy this season with your family shining the light of God. Praying we each have eyes to see where God is moving and that we have the courage to step in and be a part of it this Christmas season.Send me some stories after the fact!Much love,Courtney 00:00Thanksgiving Greetings and Gratitude10:25Living Generously: Personal Stories and Experiences20:02Creative Acts of Kindness and Community Engagement25:52Making Room for Generosity33:20Listening for God's GuidanceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideResources from today’s show:Light ‘Em Up - acts of kindness ideasIn This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s first bookPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18)We tend to tie gratitude to our situation. We feel grateful if life is good or we feel happy. We feel grateful when God answers our prayers the way we want. But God’s challenge to us is to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances! And even when we don’t feel thankful for our circumstances, we can be thankful for this: God loves us enough to heal us (like he healed the lepers), God loves us enough to provide for us, protect us, and guide us. And most importantly God loves us enough to send his only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross and forgive us our sins. On our kids’ journey of faith, it’s important that they learn to love God by expressing their gratitude to him. This week, let’s pray that our kids always have a grateful heart, even when it’s hard. Let’s pray that they would recognize God’s blessing in their lives and actively praise him for them. Jesus, thank you for showering us with blessings and for changing our lives by going to the cross! May ____________ always remember that you are good. May they bow before you in reverence and awe knowing that you are worthy of praise and may they acknowledge the way you work in their life, always remembering to have a posture of gratitude towards you. Amen.Listen to the Gratitude playlist on SpotifyGet your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer Journal Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode was incredibly special to me. I have long admired Pastor Louie Giglio and the work he has done through Passion Conferences and Passion City Church. I invited Amelia McBrayer, one of my favorite college kids, to join me in chatting about how to find authentic faith in the college years. This episode is packed with wisdom on how to help encourage our kids (and all of us) to not just know ABOUT God, but to really KNOW God.Since 1997, Passion Conferences has gathered over one million collegiate-aged young people in events across the U.S. and around the world. It was so much fun to bring one of those students on the podcast with me today - to share what God has done through Passion and how her life has been impacted by Jesus.My favorite part is when he talks about the ups and downs of faith. That we need to keep praying and believing for the faith of our kids - but never to shove it on them. He encouraged us to spend more time doing what we want our kids to do. He reminds us that our time as parents in God’s word and praying will have a massive impact on the lives of our kids. In this episode, we discuss:How to stop shoving faith on our kidsPower of praying and believing for your kids’ faithHow to practically put a touch point with God - easy ways to connectTips on how to grow in a community as a college young adultEnjoy!Courtney Chapters00:00Introduction and Background02:02The Impact of Passion Conferences06:03Faith and College Life10:51Navigating Spiritual Challenges15:04The Power of Prayer and Authenticity20:11The Role of Devotionals23:05Maintaining Faith After Events30:08Prayer for the Next GenerationConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Grace & Glory - Louie’s new devotionalLouieGiglio.comPassion ConferencesPassion City ChurchChristian Parenting storeChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuidePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“‘For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10 ESV)Everything in our world may change, but God’s love will not be moved. Our kids will be disappointed too many times to count over the course of their lives. Despite our best efforts, even we will let them down. But throughout it all, God will not change, will not leave them, and will never let them down. His love is steadfast.God loves us, and he loves our kids, with a fierce love. It’s hard to even wrap our heads around God’s love for us: the kind of love that led him to the action of sending his son to die on a cross to deliver us from our sins. While the unending, unshakeable, unbreakable, constant love of God may be hard to grasp, once we take hold of it, we won’t want to let it go.For our kids to truly live a journey of faith, they must recognize and accept the full, steadfast love of God. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will truly feel God’s love for them. The enemy will lie to them and make them doubt God’s love for them, so our prayers in this area are essential!Father God, you love us enough to send your one and only Son to die on the cross so we can be reconciled to you and live eternally with you. May ________________ fully know your steadfast love. I pray they feel your love wrapped around them today and every day, and I pray they can rest in that love. May they never doubt that no matter what is going on in their world, your love will not change. Amen.Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I am so fired up about this episode with Chris and Jan Woodruff. I believe serving together is one of the very best things you can do as a family. As I look back over 18 years as a mom, I can truthfully say that the times we have served together has deeply impacted each of us. We always see the best version of our family.Many times, the service opportunities are only available for teens and older. When we discovered Lighthouse, we found a way for our kids to serve as young as 4 years old. In this episode, we talk about the benefit of serving and putting others before yourself. My goal for today’s episode is that it unlocks the power of serving together and motivates many to find unique ways to serve as a family. My favorite part of the episode is when we talk about the benefits of serving together. We have both seen unique benefits on each of our kids. They have practiced and prioritized serving others and we can now see how it has helped develop their character and passions and gifts. Challenge today: Go on a date with your spouse or grab some girlfriends and brainstorm: “What are the top values we want to instill in our home? In our family culture? And then how can we be intentional to live out those values?”Enjoy!Courtney Chapters00:00Introduction and Family Background03:02The Importance of Service and Generosity05:57Building a Family Culture of Service08:52Transitioning from Volunteers to Staff11:49The Impact of Serving on Children15:12Finding Individual Strengths in Service18:00Creating Community Through Service20:12The Joy of Serving Together22:25Empathy and Growth Through Service24:36Building Community and Communication Skills26:46The Impact of Small Acts of Kindness28:04Finding Your Family's Serving Style30:39Navigating Overwhelm in Family Service33:45Encouragement for Busy Families37:04Getting Involved with LighthouseConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Lighthouse Family RetreatLight ‘Em Up - 100 simple ideas and random acts of kindnessIn This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s bookUnder shorts for women - you’re welcomeChristian Parenting storePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’” (John 8:31–32 ESV)To abide in Christ is to remain, continue, or stay in Christ. It means taking what we know about who God is, who we are in Christ, and what the Bible says, and using those things to grow in a permanent relationship with the Lord. It means trusting him for all things—trusting we are loved, trusting his word is true, and trusting in his promises.Truly knowing and following Jesus means continuing to grow our relationship with him. It’s a relationship worth investing in because it is the one relationship that matters: a relationship with Jesus gives us eternal life, peace in this lifetime, and allows us to bear good fruit and do good works. This week let's pray that our kids will know and abide with Christ their entire lives and commit to deepening their relationship with him every day.Jesus, I pray that ____________ would abide in you. That they would remain in your love and choose that every day of their lives. May they read scripture and learn about you in a way that lasts. Help them to keep your truth in their mind so that they may choose your ways over the world’s ways, and let it sink into their heart so that they become more and more like you. Amen.Our Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

My friend, Heather MacFayden, is a mom of four boys and I am a mom of two girls. We have two very different (but equally enjoyable) parenting experiences. We are both podcasters, but we are also real life friends. We have had many conversations over the last 10 years about the unique differences between raising boys and girls. We decided to take our offline conversations online for you! Part 1 is over at her podcast, Don’t Mom Alone - Boys vs Girls (Part 1): The Early Years. And today, you will hear Part 2 which is all about the dating years. We even get into the anxiety that comes with dances like homecoming and prom. I learned several things from Heather about how boys are feeling during these dating years. After our chat, I immediately went and talked to the girls about how the guys may feel used at times. They are more than a prop in a photo. I was encouraged to hear that her boys want deep conversations and interesting girls. My goal for this conversation was to grow our understanding and empathy of the opposite gender - especially if you only have 1 gender of children in your home. Let us know what you think! What do you wish moms of girls knew about boys? What do you wish moms of boys knew about girls? Send me a DM!In this episode, we discuss:-Dating challenges for teens today-Ideas on how to help boys and girls interact when curiosity begins-How social media and phones are impacting the dating process-Seeing behind the homecoming drama - what is going on with each genderEnjoy!Courtney (02:00) Empathy in Parenting: Boys vs. Girls(04:04) The Challenges of Modern Dating(10:05) Navigating Social Events and Relationships(18:08) The Impact of Social Media on Dating Dynamics(20:21) The Pressure of Appearances in Relationships(21:06) Navigating Modesty and Self-Confidence(22:38) The Emotional Impact of Rejection(23:52) Social Media's Role in Self-Perception(24:40) Understanding Boys' Perspectives on Relationships(25:45) The Importance of Communication and Planning(27:39) The Dynamics of Dating and Social Expectations(29:52) Boys' Leadership in Social Situations(32:11) The Cost of Social Events and Expectations(33:34) Teaching Boys About Respect and Kindness(35:27) Building Confidence in Girls(37:53) Encouraging Individuality in a Conformist Culture(39:55) A Prayer for Our ChildrenConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithChristian Parenting Christmas Gift GuideResources from today’s show:HeatherMacFadyen.comDon’t Mom Alone PodcastThe Best Christmas Pageant EverPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy