Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

Ever feel emotions that don’t seem to belong to you? Like you're carrying pain that started long before you were born? What if the things you’re struggling with—sexual trauma, shame, fear of being seen—aren’t just yours... but inherited? In this  Language of Love Conversation, I sit down with Dr. Frank Anderson, a renowned trauma psychiatrist who’s helped countless people heal—but had to take his own journey first. Frank’s new book, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma and Transformation, blends memoir with a trauma healing guide. But before he could write it, he had to live it. He grew up disconnected from his body, afraid to show who he really was, and deeply shaped by generations of silence and suppression. In this episode, we go deep into: How trauma hides in families for generations—and how to spot it in your own Why intellect and “having it all together” often hide emotional chaos How hiding his identity became a form of survival—and how he found the courage to be fully seen What it really means to feel inherited pain, not just analyze it Coming out, breaking patterns, and embracing truth—on every level The life-changing magic of combining IFS with somatic healing And how you can start breaking cycles, too This is more than a conversation. It’s an invitation—to feel, to face what’s been buried, and maybe, to be the one in your family who finally sets it all down. Learn more about Dr. Frank Anderson’s work, including his new book To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma and Transformation, on his website and socials and register for his events. Also make sure to check out the Grief Healing Collective for a community of like minded people, amazing resources on grief healing, and live healing sessions and events.  You can also check out my Good Grief Course. Have your own story about breaking the cycle? I’d love to hear it—email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So… your partner watches porn. Does that mean they’re cheating? Or is it just harmless fantasy? If you’ve ever asked yourself this—or felt a pit in your stomach after finding out—this episode is for you. In this Language of Love session, I answer a powerful question from a listener named Karen. She just found out her boyfriend watches porn regularly, and she’s not sure how to feel. Hurt? Angry? Insecure? Betrayed? Here’s the thing—this isn’t just about porn. It’s about trust. Boundaries. Feeling seen and safe in your relationship. And we’re going there. In this episode, we get into: Why watching porn doesn’t automatically mean someone is cheating When fantasy crosses the line into a problem What porn does to the brain—and why so many people got hooked during the pandemic How too much porn can mess with intimacy (like, seriously mess with it) Why it’s totally normal to feel triggered or rejected—and how to talk about it with your partner The difference between emotional safety and sexual shame—and how to move through both Real tips for navigating conversations around porn, self-pleasure, and trust Remember to visit my website to take a free quiz and explore 7 Days to Better Sex. It’s not about right or wrong—it’s about discovering what’s true for you. I’m here to help you gain clarity on what you want, what feels right, and how to bring more honesty and connection into your relationships. And if you’ve ever felt alone in your struggles, know this: you’re not. So many of us are navigating the same questions. Got something on your mind? A story or question you'd like to share? I’d love to hear from you. Email me anytime at languageoflovepod@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

They say love is enough—but is it really? What if one simple question could reveal whether your relationship is built for long-term growth… or destined to quietly fall apart? In this Language of Love Bite, we explore the subtle but powerful force that separates short-lived connection from lasting partnership: mutual inspiration. This isn’t about how often you laugh together or whether you share a Spotify playlist. It’s about whether you feel proud of who you’re becoming with this person—and if your future selves are being shaped by love, not stifled by it. You’ll also learn a 2-minute reflection exercise (called “The Mirror Test”) that just might change the way you look at your relationship forever. Let’s dive in! What You’ll Learn: The one question that can predict whether your relationship is built to last Why growth—not just chemistry—is the real glue in long-term love Key signs your partner supports your evolution (and red flags they might not) How admiration and inspiration fuel deeper connection Simple ways to check in on growth—monthly rituals, vision sharing, and more How to use journaling to reinforce love, even in small everyday moments “The Mirror Test”: A quick exercise to assess who you’ve become in this relationship—and who you’re becoming Because true love doesn’t just feel good. It helps you grow. Want to see how your relationship is really doing? Start with my free quiz and explore 7 Days to Better Sex, a gentle path toward more connection, honesty, and intimacy. Got a question or a story to share? I’d love to hear from you at languageoflovepod@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to wait for love—not out of fear, but from deep, spiritual conviction? In this extraordinary Language of Love Conversation, we meet Sohale—a man who, at 32, has never been physically intimate with another person. Not because he’s afraid of love, but because he reveres it. For Sohale, sex isn't casual—it's sacred. A union of energy, soul, and spirit. And he’s been saving himself for that. But the story doesn’t begin (or end) there. It started in childhood—with a mystical calling, a boundary-crossing pediatrician, and a little boy who learned to transform trauma into prayer. And it continues today—as Sohale navigates the modern dating world with ancient longing, tantric wisdom, and unwavering faith that the right soul will meet him where he stands. Here’s What We Cover: How a sexually abusive pediatric exam shaped Sohale’s sensuality—and his lifelong relationship with spirit How Sohale discovered fusing  sexual energy with prayer from a young age How gratitude (and a simple email trick) became the emotional lifeline in his darkest hours The unexpected power of tantric self-practice—and how it helped him heal What it means to look for a partner not just with a body, but with a soul attuned to divinity Try Sohale’s Soul app—where spontaneous gratitude meets spiritual practice. Whether you're drawn to Sufism, Tantra, Kabbalah, or Kriya Yoga, there’s a 30-day soul path waiting for you. Use code: 30DaysOnMe at https://www.bringsoul.life/ Got thoughts? Stories? Or a tantric soulmate for Sohale? Email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com And if this moved you—share it. Healing becomes sacred when we do it together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love after trauma isn’t just about passion—it’s about patience. The quiet moments between kisses, the hesitation in a held hand, the unspoken fear that lingers in intimacy… These are the places where love is tested—and where it can be rebuilt. In this Language of Love Session, we return to Brian and Stacey’s raw, unfolding story. If you’ve been with us, you know: this isn’t just about sex. It’s about two hearts trying to find safety in each other—while wrestling with the ghosts of their pasts. (If you’re new here, make sure to listen to my past sessions with Brian and Stacy to learn about the heartache, the fights, the small victories that brought them here.) So what happens when healing almost feels within reach? When the arguments soften, the warmth returns… and then—out of nowhere—the old pain rushes back in? Here’s What You’ll Take Away: “I want to, but I can’t”—why this conflict is more common than we admit (and how to move through it) How childhood wounds whisper in adult intimacy—and how to quiet them When even loving touch feels like pressure—and how to rewrite that story Why watching porn together became a bridge, not a wall The moment a simple kiss became the bravest act of all How couples accidentally retraumatize each other—and how to stop The shift that helped Stacey reclaim her body—and her voice Why Brian is learning that patience isn’t passive—it’s love in action Want to feel safe in your own skin—and in your partner’s arms? Start with my free quiz and then delve into 7 Days to Better Sex. If you're navigating deeper wounds, explore EMDR therapy or dive into the Drama Triangle—because real love shouldn’t reopen old scars. Your story isn’t over. In fact, the most healing chapters may be just ahead. Questions or thoughts? I’d love to hear from you: languageoflovepod@gmail.com And if this episode moved you, share it. Healing is contagious when we do it together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if everything you've been told about love...is wrong? That magical moment when you'll meet "The One"—the perfect partner who completes you, understands you effortlessly, and makes love feel easy forever. But what happens when the fairy tale doesn't come true? When the spark fades and you're left wondering: Did I choose wrong? Is my real soulmate still out there? The real question isn't "Have I found my perfect match?"—it's "Am I with someone worth growing with?" Because the most powerful love stories aren't about finding—they're about building. In this explosive Language of Love Bite, we get into: Is finding "The One" a myth or a real possibility The 3 non-negotiables that matter more than chemistry or shared hobbies The #1 predictor of long-term success The must-ask question before committing to someone  Monthly "growth check-ins"—how thriving couples stay aligned  When to walk away  Take my free quiz to get a clearer picture of what you’re really looking for in love.  And make sure to check out my newest book, Sex Magic, which will take your sex life to the next level whether you are single or in a relationship!  Got any questions? Feel free to email us at languageoflovepod@gmail.com. And hey, love grows when we learn together—so share this episode and let’s spread the love! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the role you’ve played your whole life—the one that made people love you, trust you, applaud you—was actually the thing keeping you from yourself? In this moving Language of Love Conversations, I sit down with Mark Walberg—not the Ted movie star, but the television host known for his charm, wit, and steady presence on hit shows like Antiques Roadshow and Temptation Island.  After watching this season of Temptation Island for the first time, I was stunned. Despite having no clinical training, Mark intuitively held space for confessions, breakdowns, and deep self reckonings,— guiding the cast through their fears, blind spots, and emotional blocks with incredible insight and timing. He was doing a better job than lots of therapists I know! I had to understand where that wisdom came from. Mark didn’t disappoint.  In this Language of Love Conversation, he pulls back the curtain and shares his own journey, from the pressures of fame to the private unraveling that brought him to his knees, and eventually to a place of radical honesty. We talk about the fear of feeling, the cost of emotional suppression, and how it’s never too late to come home to yourself. Here’s a sneak peek… The surprising lessons Mark learned about love while hosting Temptation Island How a successful career became a hiding place—and what it took to step out of it Why approval from the crowd can’t replace real connection The childhood wounds he carried into adulthood—and how he finally began to face them What happens when you stop numbing and start feeling The role his wife played in calling him back to himself How fatherhood cracked him open in the best (and hardest) ways Why vulnerability might just be the most courageous thing a man can offer Remember to follow Mark Walberg’s continuing story on his website and socials. Also make sure to check out the Grief Healing Collective for a community of like minded people, amazing resources on grief healing, and live healing sessions and events.  You can also check out my Good Grief Course. Got thoughts? Stories? Or a revelation of your own? Email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like your life no longer fits you? Like you’re walking around in a version of yourself that you’ve outgrown—but you're not sure what the next version looks like? In this powerful Language of Love Conversation, I’m thrilled to welcome back poet, author, and truth-teller Janne Robinson to the show. Together, we explore what happens when you hit that inner wall—when you're stuck, misaligned, or playing house in a life that no longer feels like your own. We dive deep into Janne’s journey from living a life that looked good on paper but felt soul-crushing, to courageously claiming her truth and starting over twice. We explore: Why “not this” is often the first clue—and the most sacred invitation to begin again What to do when your partner isn’t growing with you—and how to honor love even in letting go The radical power of one honest conversation to change the entire energy of your relationship How your body speaks the truth before your mind is ready to hear it The emotional and physical toll of living in misalignment—and why your soul won’t let you fake it forever How shame keeps us silent—and how your truth can set not just you, but others, free Why having a guide who’s walked the hard path before you changes everything And why love that grows with you, not around you, is the rarest, richest love of all Ready to begin your own truth-telling journey? Join Janne’s free 10-day experience, Meet Yourself in Truth, starting June 2nd—a sacred space for live coaching, community, and the gentle unraveling of what no longer serves you. Sign up here: https://janne-robinson.mykajabi.com/a/2148081458/P2bZhWSA Connect with Janne on her website and join the waitlist for her upcoming book Truth Is Your Medicine. You can also follow her on Facebook and Instagram for updates and don’t forget to visit my website for expert-backed resources to help you heal, grow, and thrive in your relationships. Have you left behind a life that no longer fits—or are you still standing at the edge, unsure what’s next? I’d love to hear your story. Email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com to share your journey and be considered for a future episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to grieve in a world that tells you to move on? How do you find light in the darkest corners of loss, and can grief—often seen as a burden—become a source of connection, creativity, and even transformation?  After losing her father at just 21 years old, author Carla Fernandez became a "renegade griever," defying societal norms and creating a space where grief could be shared, honored, and even celebrated.  In a culture that often shies away from death and discourages open expressions of sorrow, Carla chose a different path. Her journey led to the birth of her book Renegade Grief and a global community called The Dinner Party, that has touched the lives of over 20,000 young adults navigating the complexities of loss. In this powerful Language of Love Conversation, Carla joins us to share her story and the lessons she’s learned from sitting at the tables of countless grievers. If you’ve ever felt isolated in your grief or struggled to find a safe space to express your pain, this episode is for you.  Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode: How grieving "outside the lines" can transform pain into power with Carla’s concept of Renegade Grief. How a simple potluck dinner evolved into The Dinner Party, a global lifeline for thousands navigating loss. The healing power of rituals to stay connected to your loved ones.  How society lost its way with grief and why reclaiming communal grieving practices is essential. Find out the most healing words you could ever hear in grief The mysterious world of grief dreams and what they might reveal about your connection to those you’ve lost. How to channel grief into meaningful action without bypassing the emotional work it requires. Looking for support in your grief journey? The Dinner Party connects you with others who get it—find a table near you at thedinnerparty.org. Carla’s book, Renegade Grief, is a must-read for navigating loss with courage and creativity.  Need practical ways to honor your loved ones? From altars to grief quests, Grief Rituals offers meaningful ways to process your emotions. Remember to visit  Carla’s website for more. Also make sure to check out the Grief Healing Collective for a community of like minded people, amazing resources on grief healing, and live healing sessions and events.  You can also check out  my Good Grief Course. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like your relationship is stuck in a loop? The same fights, the same frustrations, the same silent distance—even though you both want things to be better. Here’s the truth: Your partner’s baggage fits yours perfectly. The work isn’t to change them—it’s to unpack your own while holding space for theirs. In this raw and revealing Language of Love session, Brian and Stacey lay bare their struggle—blame, withdrawal, and the aching fear of not being enough. Stacey is fighting to reclaim her voice after trauma, wondering if her needs even matter.Brian admits he’s been avoiding effort, hiding behind the excuse of being “too busy.” Their story is your story. The tiny misunderstandings that explode into disconnection. The love that’s there but buried under frustration. The desperate hope that things could be different—if only they knew how. If you've ever felt invisible in your relationship, used "busyness" as an excuse to avoid hard conversations, wondered why affection feels like a battleground, or found yourself trapped in the blame-defend-withdraw cycle, this episode will leave you breathless—and give you the tools to break free. Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:  Why “I don’t have time” is often code for avoidance—and how to fix it  The silent killer of relationships: unspoken expectations around affection  How just 10 minutes of intentional time can rebuild connection  The Drama Triangle (Victim, Villain, Hero)—and how to step off it  How to ask for love without triggering defensiveness  Why childhood wounds keep replaying in your relationship—and how to stop them  Non-sexual touch: The secret to rebuilding emotional safety  How to hold space for both love and frustration (yes, it’s possible!) Ready to Heal? Take my free quiz and start 7 Days to Better Sex to transform intimacy today. For deeper trauma work, explore EMDR and the Drama Triangle—because love shouldn’t hurt this much. Your story isn’t over yet. Let’s rewrite it together. Got questions? Email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com Share this episode—love grows when we heal together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices