You Are Not A Frog

If you have a high-stakes job like medicine, shame can show up in unexpected and unwelcome places. Doctors have incredibly high societal expectations, with constant pressure to be invulnerable. It’s time to challenge these unrealistic expectations and foster an environment that supports doctors in their vulnerability.This week, we’re featuring one of our most popular and impactful episodes from 2023 to help you identify and combat shame. In this episode, Dr Sandy Miles discusses the impact of shame on doctors and how we can address it by changing the toxic stories we tell ourselves.We all make mistakes, but shame keeps us from being objective and fair, leading us feeling like we’re inherently bad or wrong. Finding ways to be kinder and more supportive to ourselves will help not only our wellbeing, but will brighten the lives of those closest to us.Listen to this episode toDiscover the powerful impact shame has on us, and how our wellbeing and professional identity can be affectedExplore the different ways we respond to shameLearn how to create a healthier and more supportive environmentEpisode highlights[00:04:37] What is shame?[00:11:56] How identities are tied to shame[00:15:16] How people respond to shame[00:17:40] How to respond to shame[00:26:43] Shame and perfectionism in healthcare[00:31:31] How to overcome maladaptive perfectionism[00:34:22] Fostering a growth mindset[00:36:44] How to combat shame[00:47:01] Where to find help[00:48:40] Sandy's top tips for deadling with shameAbout the guestSandy Miles is a practising GP and a medical educator. She is also the co-founder of Acacia Retreat, holding bi-annual retreats for doctors feeling overwhelmed. Passionate to help fellow medical professionals, Sandy has written several research articles about shame and maladaptive behaviours in the medical industry — such as perfectionism in healthcare workers.Sandy gained her Bachelor of Medicine from the University of London and then earned her Master of Science in Medical Humanities from King’s College London.Twitter | FacebookResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerMore episodes of You Are Not a Frog:How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim – Episode 92, with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie SweetingThis is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor, by Adam KayBooks and videos from Brene BrownShame and MedicineShame in Medicine: The Lost Forest, a 10-part documentary podcast produced by the NocturnistsShame and MedicineMindset: Changing the Way You Think to Fulfil Your Potential, by Carol DweckDownload the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Enjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:The Anti-Burnout System Take back control of your time and your workload — before burnout makes the decision for you.Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.

The Christmas season can be a time of stress and disappointment, especially when our expectations don't match up with reality. We can find ourselves dealing with difficult family members, feeling overwhelmed with work and family obligations, or experiencing a general sense of dissatisfaction.But there’s plenty we can do to make the festive period more enjoyable and less overwhelming.This week, we’re revisiting a previous conversation on the podcast, with Corrina Gordon-Barnes. In her chat with Rachel, you’ll learn how to turn expected disappointments into a game of bingo, set realistic expectations, and exercise some self-compassion.By taking proactive steps, we can create a more positive and fulfilling Christmas experience.Listen to this episode toLearn strategies to cope with the expectations and negative experiences that come with the holiday seasonDiscover the concept of playing "Christmas Bingo" to approach disappointments with humour and acceptanceGain insights on how to navigate triggering situations and avoid falling into familiar patterns of conflictEpisode highlights[00:03:59] Christmas disappointments[00:09:02] Christmas Bingo[00:13:30] What you can do to avoid disappointent[00:16:19] Playing out the old dances[00:21:33] Your zone of power[00:27:15] Lowering your expectations[00:39:20] Self-compassion in the face of disappointment[00:43:39] Hunt the Pony[00:44:51] Handling regret[00:49:22] Corrina's top 3 tipsAbout the guestDr Corrina Gordon-Barnes, CPCC, coaches new managers in time management and giving effective feedback. She’s passionate about seeing workplaces where colleagues speak honestly, give and receive feedback gracefully, and act with integrity. She believes these environments make it much easier to be innovative and effective, hit deadlines, and create the most powerful impact.LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | WebsiteResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerShould I Stay or Should I Go? – Episode 89 with Corrina Gordon-BarnesHow to Ditch the Saviour Complex and Feel More Alive – Episode 88 with Rob BellDownload the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Enjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:The Anti-Burnout System Take back control of your time and your workload — before burnout makes the decision for you.Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.

Explore practical strategies to boost your confidence and make a greater impact. Understand the relationship between confidence and vulnerability. Discover factors that influence confidence as we age. Learn the importance of continuous growth and embracing imperfection. Hear personal experiences of building confidence and overcoming barriers. Embrace strengths and surround yourself with positive individuals. Get tips for increasing confidence and finding the gift in adversity.

We can learn how to say no to other people, but often don’t say no to ourselves or to our inner critic who’s always telling us we can do more or be better. We become our own worst enemy when it comes to setting boundaries and prioritising our own needs. This is why we need self-compassion, and to overcome the toxic self-talk that often fuels our negative self-talk.In this quick dip, Rachel will help you name the critical voice and acknowledge its presence, explore the underlying triggers and needs that contribute to self-criticism, and treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend.When we pay too much attention to our inner critic, we risk feeling more stressed, putting strain on our relationships, and overall negatively impacting our wellbeing. So it’s time to challenge that negative self-talk and replace it with compassionate. No only will it benefit you, but it’ll benefit those close to you, too.Listen to this episode toDiscover the impact of toxic self-talk and how it affects our relationships and self-perception.Explore the importance of self-compassion and its role in enhancing relationships and personal growth.Gain practical tips and techniques for dealing with your inner critic and cultivating self-kindness.Episode highlights[00:01:52] Toxic self-talk[00:04:11] Self-compassion[00:04:57] Shame[00:05:57] Boss bitch[00:09:12] When our amygdala goes too far[00:10:04] Motivating with the stick, not the carrotResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerMore episodes of You Are Not a Frog:What to Do When You Can Never Do Enough as a Working Mum – Episode 174, with With Corrina Gordon-BarnesHow to Escape the Tyranny of the ‘Shoulds’ – Episode 196 with Charlotte HousdenThe Surprising Power of Self Coaching (and How to Do it Well) – Episode 117, with Dr Claire KayeDownload the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Enjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.

Do you find yourself trapped by the expectations and pressures of what you think you “should” be doing? Is there a voice in your head, berating you for not living up to their standards? If so, you might be experiencing the tyranny of the shoulds.You’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed or uncertain. But it turns out that hearing others' stories can help you realise that your struggles are common. Also, if you rely on others for feedback it’s important to know whom to ask and when, so you don’t end up with an over-eager cheerleader or someone who’ll burst your bubble before its time.In this episode, Charlotte Housden discusses her research on successfully navigating change and how we can escape that nagging, finger-wagging presence we all have from time to time.That voice of doubt and fear can trap us in a cycle of unhappiness and unfulfilment. It might mean we miss out on opportunities for growth, personal development, and finding true satisfaction in our lives and careers. But by remembering that you are not your thoughts, you can start to free yourself from the tyranny of the shoulds.Listen to this episode toGain insights from interviews with 108 people in 27 countries on successfully navigating change in life.Understand the importance of hearing others' stories, and how it can make you feel less alone.Get the resources you nee to facilitate and sustain change.Episode highlights[00:06:50] The importance of knowing you're not alone[00:09:27] Stories and consequences of change[00:11:14] How to give feedback[00:17:15] Delaying gratification on a new project[00:18:59] What to do when you feel you need to change everything at once[00:23:46] Job crafting[00:25:51] The shift in the psychological contract[00:29:10] The tyranny of the shoulds[00:33:39] Midroll[00:36:12] The three musts[00:37:39] You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather[00:40:32] You are not your thoughts[00:43:42] What most medical students aren't taught about their own thoughts[00:47:51] What doctors need to make it to the top[00:50:11] The key to greater productivity[00:52:50] Charlotte's top tipsAbout the guestCharlotte is a chartered coaching psychologist helping individuals to navigate their organisations and careers. She has interviewed 108 people in 27 countries identifying how they successfully navigate change and is the author of Swim Jump Fly: A Guide to Changing Your Life.LinkedIn | WebsiteResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerWhat Happens When We’re Really Listened to – Episode 180, with Tom DillonHow to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim – Episode 92, with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie SweetingJob Crafting for Happiness – Episode 144, with Kirsten Armit, Dr Colin Lindsay, and Dr Daljit HothiSwim Jump Fly: A Guide to Changing Your Life – Charlotte’s bookCharlotte’s Tyranny of the Shoulds podcastThe Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living, by Russ HarrisDownload the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Enjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.The Anti-Burnout System Take back control of your time and your workload — before burnout makes the decision for you.

If your job is demanding, jou've probably wondered at some point if you're burning out. The constant stress and pressure in health and social care especially can leave us feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. But ignoring the signs of burnout can have serious consequences, affecting not only our performance but our wellbeing and our relationships too.In this quick dip episode, Rachel introduces the Stress Curve and how it can help you recognise if you're nearing burnout. She explains the different stages of the curve and provide practical steps you can take to prevent burnout and perform at your best. It's about finding what works for you and making small changes that add up a big impact.Listen to this episode toRecognise the signs of burnout and its consequences, so you can prioritise your wellbeing and relationships.Learn from real-life experiences and to prevent burnout, tailored to the unique challenges faced by people in healthcare.Discover the stress curve model as a tool to assess your current position and make small, impactful changes to improve your wellbeing and performance.Episode highlights[00:01:43] Check your battery level[00:02:43] Symptoms of burnout[00:03:47] The stress curve[00:05:59] Not enough pressure to perform[00:07:29] Dropping off peak performance[00:08:26] Early signs of burnout[00:09:18] Take a snapshop [MIDROLL][00:10:26] Where are you on the stress curve?[00:13:01] What factors are contributing to how you feel?[00:13:32] What are your early warning signs?[00:15:38] What small steps can you take?[00:17:14] Stay in your zone of powerResourcesDownload a copy of the graphWatch the video to see the graphTHRIVE Weekly PlannerMore episodes of You Are Not a Frog:Surprising Ways to Avoid Burnout – Episode 188 with Nick PetrieEmbrace Your Capacity, Not Your Limits – Episode 176 with Dr Sarah CoopeIs it ‘Normal’ Not to Cope? – Episode 143Download the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Yerkes–Dodson lawEnjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.

Managing your energy can be a challenge at the best of times. But if you’re a highly sensitive person, you might be more prone to burning out due to your unique traits and the demands of your work.Being highly sensitive doesn’t mean being touchy, but having a high degree of empathy and a particular way of processing sensory input. That means it might take longer to recover from a tricky situation like a conflict with a colleague, or witnessing something traumatic at work.The key to managing energy as a highly sensitive person is to understand and embrace your sensitivity, and put strategies in place to protect and replenish your energy.This week, Rachel talks with Dr Becki Taylor-Smith, an anaesthetist and coach who specialises in helping highly sensitive individuals discover their superpowers.Around 1 in 5 people has high sensitivity. With this higher degree of empathy often comes the need to help people, which is why there may be many more people in medicine who identify as highly sensitive.People who identify as highly sensitive make great leaders, but can be reluctant to step forward. So without support or strategies in place to help them harness their abilities, teams can miss out on the unique abilities they have.But by setting small boundaries and incorporating self-care activities into their daily lives, highly sensitive people can be supported and encouraged to thrive in their own careers, and lead others.Listen to this episode toLearn how to manage your energy effectively as a highly sensitive person in high-stress jobs.Discover strategies to prevent burnout and overwhelm while still making a unique difference.Understand the traits of highly sensitive people and how to embrace them as a superpower in leadership and teamwork.Episode highlights[00:04:22] Traits of highly sensitive people[00:09:10] How to tell if you're a highly sensitive person[00:11:07] When being highly sensitive can be a superpower[00:14:08] Highly sensitive people as leaders[00:20:58] The ABCs of managing your energy[00:27:38] How to protect yourself and your energy[00:32:12] Avoiding burnout due to sensory overload[00:35:37] How to support highly sensitive people[00:39:26] Becki's top tipsAbout the guestDr Becki is an anaesthetist and coach supporting sensitive professionals caring for people and the planet to rediscover their joy and make their difference without burning out.LinkedIn | Facebook | WebsiteResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerMore episodes of You Are Not a Frog:How to Thrive in a High-Stress Job When You’re Neurodivergent – Episode 179 with Matthew BellringerAre Your Tiny Traumas Building Up to Burnout? – Episode 182, with Dr Claire PlumblyDownload the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Download Becki’s free guide to using your sensitivity as a superpowerThe Highly Sensitive Person: How to Survive and Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, by Elaine AronEnjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.The Anti-Burnout System Take back control of your time and your workload — before burnout makes the decision for you.

Learn how to say no and set boundaries in challenging medical situations, the concept of core and flex boundaries, and the short-term and long-term consequences of setting boundaries and saying no. The importance of considering these consequences when making decisions is emphasized, as well as the negative effects of not setting boundaries. Discover how saying no can lead to a healthier work-life balance and fulfillment of goals, while also maintaining relationships and prioritizing one's own needs.

Interactions between team members can have a big impact on performance and outcomes. Disrespect and hostility can create a threatening environment and hinder collaboration and productivity. In a medical setting, it could literally be a life-or-death situation.The Civility Saves Lives movement aims to raise awareness about the importance of behaviour and promote a culture of civility. By showing respect and support towards each-other, teams can enhance their performance, deliver better outcomes, and provide a healthier and kinder path towards personal growth.In this episode, Dr Chris Turner, co-founder of the Civility Saves Lives movement, demonstrates how we can create an environment where civility is valued, information is freely shared, and everyone feels empowered to contribute. By taking the time to show respect – and to address disrespect without offering judgement – we can make a positive difference in the workplace and improve outcomes for teams and patients.Listen to this episode toUnderstand the importance of civility and its role in improving team performance and patient outcomes.Learn about the effects of incivility on individuals and their ability to think and perform under high-pressure situations.Find out about the origins of the Civility Saves Lives movement, and its impact on behaviour in healthcare.Episode highlights[00:01:32] Meeting Chris[00:02:21] Civility Saves Lives[00:10:50] The minimum unit of performance is the team[00:13:32] Setting an environment for people to speak[00:16:25] What happens when we're scared of being wrong[00:23:40] How hostile behaviour impacts teams[00:25:45] How rudeness affects trust[00:27:22] We don't go to work to be unpleasant[00:31:21] Knowing that someone's got you[00:35:15] How to give feedback[00:49:44] Curiosity's role when giving difficult feedback[00:55:08] How to avoid the drama triangle[00:59:09] Understanding cultural context[01:01:52] Accepting uninvited criticism[01:04:23] How to take difficult feedback[01:06:15] The act of saying sorry[01:09:39] Chris' top tipsAbout the guestChris is a consultant in emergency medicine at the University Hospital of Coventry and Warwickshire. He co-founded Civility Saves Lives with Joe Farmer, a grassroots organisation dedicated to raising awareness of the impact of behaviour on performance.LinkedIn | Twitter | WebsiteResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerHow to Escape the Drama Triangle and Stop Rescuing People – Episode 75, with Annie HanekomHow to Have Crucial Conversations – Episode 85, with Dr Ed PooleyDownload the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.When Rudeness in Teams Turns Deadly – Chris’ talk at TEDxExeterThe Decline in Task Performance After Witnessing Rudeness is Moderated by Emotional Empathy - A Pilot Study, by Gadi GilamZero Degrees of Empathy: A New Theory of Human Cruelty and Kindness, by Simon Baron-CohenMedical Student Perceptions and Experiences of Incivility: a Qualitative Study, by Louise Griffin and Anna BaverstockPromoting Professionalism by Sharing a Cup of CoffeeThe 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success, by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley KlempRadical Candor: Fully Revised and Updated Edition: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, by Kim ScottEnjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:The Anti-Burnout System Take back control of your time and your workload — before burnout makes the decision for you.Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.

When someone else sets boundaries, do you feel able to do the same, or do you resent their ability to say no? Often, our anger towards others' boundaries comes from our own unmet needs and desires, and what presents itself as resentment is actually envy.Guilt, shame, and fear often prevent us from expressing our own needs, which just compounds those negative emotions. Without shifting our mindset, we can end up adopting a victim mindset and feeling even more trapped.In this quick dip episode, Rachel describes how we can identify our underlying needs, find ways to express them, and take small, practical steps towards getting what we want, even if it feels unattainable.Listen to this episode toLearn how to navigate boundaries and handle feelings of resentment when others say no to you.Understand the difference between anger and envy, and how envy can reveal what you truly want.Pick up strategies for identifying your own needs, expressing them to others, and finding ways to meet them.Episode highlights[00:02:12] Envy[00:05:47] What is your underlying need?[00:06:43] What happens when we make ourselves the victim[00:07:55] Questions to ask yourself[00:08:54] What is stopping you from meeting your needs?[00:10:01] If you could wave a magic wand[00:11:40] Expressing your needs to othersResourcesTHRIVE Weekly PlannerWhy Can’t I Say No – Episode 163How to Use Power Language to Keep Your Boundaries Strong – Episode 179How to Say No and Deal with Pushback – Episode 125, with Annie HanekomAtlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, by Brené BrownDownload the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.Enjoyed this episode?Write a review and share this with your friends.Connect with RachelHave any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-MorrisTwitter: @DrRachelMorrisEmail: hello@youarenotafrog.comFind out more about our trainingMentioned in this episode:Join FrogXtra The monthly membership for doctors and busy professionals in high stress jobs, who want to beat burnout, and thrive in work and life.